<p>What’s everyone doing for textbooks? I was looking at some of the options, new and used, but most of them seemed pretty expensive.</p>
<p>I’m using valorebooks for most of my textbooks, 'cause they’re the cheapest I’ve found so far (plus I used retailmenot (it’s an online coupon code site) and the code 5peroff gives you 5% more off on textbooks), but they don’t have the Bio book I need.</p>
<p>aaahhh–sigh–as I should be counting socks for S to leave in 10 days both H and D have hurt themselves. Spent 4 hours in the ER (and H is a doc there and still…) as he cut his leg very badly with a weeding tool while running from yellow jackets. He is just the worst patient in the world and has finally decided to not swim on Tues. but is so bored that he might try to work tomorrow. It took two docs to sew up his leg with lots of commentary about the depth and badness of his injury. Then poor D called–I asked if crying, yes–leaned over and pulled her back (a first) and is to leave on a 2 week road trip at 8 am. That costs $110 to get her to accept a plane ticket to miss the first few days of car travel and meet up with her friends in a few days. 10 hours later and she is no better. NOW S who is the one leaving in 10 days finally cleaned up his room under the threat of no car privileges. Very busy saying goodby and hanging out with GF 
who moves no faster in an ER than otherwise we discovered yesterday as H sat in the side yard bleeding. cell phones do come in handy when your H calls and says, “I am in the side yard and am going to need your help”… ok this is just a vent or a rant. AND I do feel for those of you who have already done the “leaving” moment, as I so remember doing with D. —H’s leg is swollen big time BUT he must go to work tomorrow --so he has decided!!! Who said “life is what happens when you are…”?</p>
<p>Uh-oh…very unexpectedly, D came home crying last night, worried that she won’t be able to cut it at her college. I responded with a 30 minute pep talk. Lord, I hope it works. I’m quite confident she’ll do well. I’ve just got to get her to feel that way as well. I don’t think she is anxious about leaving us - just the prospect of a fairly rigorous school.
Any advice?</p>
<p>oregon101, that sounds awful (though possibly slightly amusing in a few years). I hope H & D mend quickly.</p>
<p>woody, it sounds as if you handled it well, and you don’t really need advice - just maybe to remember that actually every single one of them, no matter how confident and excited they seem to be most of the time, has some apprehension and anxiety about this huge new step. It might be the academic aspects, it might be the social aspects, it might be the notion of sharing a room, it might be missing the family dog. (And for some kids, it’s all of the above.) </p>
<p>As for confidence, you may not be able to “get her to feel that way” until she’s actually embarked, but it can help to remind her that the admissions team saw her as someone who will succeed there, and that you have every confidence in them and in her, and so on (which I’m sure you already did). And remind her, often, that she is NOT alone in feeling worried about things.</p>
<p>I really need to do some shopping. If I went strictly by this thread, I would think I am not going to find socks or boxers for the college kid. Congrats on so many successful liftoffs across the board. Heck, even the briefly rocky road of NMN seems to have smoothed to nary a pebble! I am sure there are going to be more bumps in the road, but it’s good to know that if I havent a clue how to rise to the occasion and be helpful, the people here give great advice.</p>
<p>And not to say this is great advice, but… Woody: If it were me, I would downplay the anxiety by saying, “you didn’t get in because of luck or special favor, meaning you’ve already been doing this level work.” But I also think some of it is the anxiety of making friends (and the right kind of friends) and if we will fit in or be ostracized, etc and not so much about the classes. I think I’d make the conversation about facing challenges and obstacles and how she has handled that so far (hopefully there’s positive news there) and if she’s fallen, how’s she’s gotten back up.</p>
<p>Seriously… Did missypie frizzle up in the texas mid-day heat?</p>
<p>Hey Modadunn…heading out shopping again today! D2 needs a sturdy id lanyard. Bought one at the university bookstore but the plastic front is already cracking. Plan on heading to Albertville outlets to hit the Coach outlet. They have a cute id lanyard currently on sale for $20. I think she will be surprised and really like it. I’m heading out of town on Wednesday to watch her play so will give it to her then.</p>
<p>Woody…stay strong, give lots of hugs and let her know how much you believe in her! The fear and anxiety of the unknown is so hard on these kids.</p>
<p>Eggmom, congrats–glad the launch went well.</p>
<p>Harriett–know what you mean–sent S1 (junior) off 2 weeks ago to Israel for 3 weeks prior to fall semester back at school–may ot see him until Christmas :(!!! S2 is packing…</p>
<p>Oregon, that sounds awful for both H and D–agree with HMW tha this may be a great source for an (amusing) family story…in the future. Hope everyone mends quickly!</p>
<p>Woody, you’re the 2nd one in 12 hours I’ve heard with a D dissolving with nerves. You handled it well…but it probably was hard for YOU too.</p>
<p>Oregon: I’d say just be glad you happened to be there so you could deliver some wisdom and then trust that it all works out. I think they take it in and move on. </p>
<p>We sometimes get stuck in the “I should have said…” or perhaps I should add… And I almost always find when I try to “re-visit” a topic to “add” to my wisdom (or “correct” something I think I should have said differently)–that I get the blank look or eye-rolling as if the important conversation had never happened or it would be preferred that I not ever mention it again. It is not that what occurred is not valued/valuable, just that they are now in the next moment and on ahead of us (again…)</p>
<p>My SIL visited this weekend and said her D (who is about to enter kindergarten) is regressing, too. Not sure she’s ready for big-kid school, homework, making new friends, is very emotional and clingy, etc.</p>
<p>I thought the parallels were poignant.</p>
<p>Well, H and I are back and Son is at school and I resisted the temptation to call to see if he had gotten up in time for his first Freshman seminar. Here’s a report - probably will be too long, but you don’t have to read it.</p>
<p>We went down in two cars since Son will have his at school. I rode with Son and my hair is probably now white underneath this hair color. We ate at Chile’s upon arrival since it was next to our hotel and Son felt nauseated after a few bites of his food…poor nervous kid. After that was a doctor’s appointment to establish a relationship for his ADD meds. (The doc said we were SO smart to do that; she said every year kids come in in a panic because they are out of meds and have no way of getting them quickly.)</p>
<p>After that we were a bit early for move-in, so we dropped in to visit the disablities services lady and had a nice chat with her. I also told her about CC, so if we have a new member with a lot of disablities info, it’s her!</p>
<p>It hasn’t rained in central Texas in months but of course as we pulled up to unload, it started to pour - pretty funny, because I think the rain lasted for only the moments we were unloading. They had lots of nice sorority girls there to help so the physical part was easy.</p>
<p>We unpacked the whole room with no sign of the roommate. It was then time to leave to change clothes and go see Wicked in Austin. At that point the RA got a bit ****y with us that Son was going to miss the first floor meeting, but I already knew that some kids wouldn’t be there until Saturday morning, so no big deal. (In the car, talked about the “better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission” rule.)</p>
<p>Seeing *Wicked *was the perfect thing for us to do. It took our minds off what was happening. Of course, tears were streaming down my face during For Good but I knew that would happen. Son spent the night with us at the hotel, avoiding the scary first night with strangers. </p>
<p>We dropped him off at school in the morning, he met his roommate and the guys in the next room and that made all the difference. He liked them all immediately and his comfort level went from 1 to 9. </p>
<p>We spent the day doing the parent stuff. I know that rapid changes in temps don’t really make you sick but it can’t be good for you. The buildings were all cooled to freezing, and then we’d step outside and it would be 102…frequent 40 degree changes in temperature are exhausting!</p>
<p>Saturday afternoon we all went to Walmart. Just for those of you who are still shopping:</p>
<p>What we bought (that we hadn’t before): sun visor for Son’s car; vertical paper organizer; large desk calendar (NOTE: WHY are all the desk calendars girly? Walmart had three kinds and all were pink polka dot or similar.); snacks</p>
<p>What I brought home to return: trash can (already way too many in room); shower organizer (didn’t stay on); shower caddy (enough counter space so that the guys can leave their stuff in the bathroom). We saw LOTS of families carting in cases of toilet paper, which wasn’t needed.</p>
<p>Good things:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>They really must have paid attention to Son’s housing application (he said he would do better with a fine arts type of guy rather than an athlete). Roommate and suite mates: majors in theatre, English and violin.</p></li>
<li><p>RA is right across the hall. I don’t think that was an accident.</p></li>
<li><p>At convocation, I saw the entire student body (the largest in school history, by the way). The boys really truly fell into two categories: The athletes there to play a D3 sport and the other boys who looked like geeky brainy fine artsy type boys. Son will fit in so well.</p></li>
<li><p>The school gives “academic early warnings” at the three week point to students who may not be doing well.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Bad things:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>The food is just terrible. Son doesn’t mind it, thank goodness.</p></li>
<li><p>Since the school is loosely affiliated with a Protestant denomination, there was a Sunday morning service in the chapel that we attended. The service was too long, the chaplain quite verbose. If they wanted to make sure that none of the students ever darken the door of the chapel again, they’ve succeeded.</p></li>
<li><p>The student body is a lot less diverse than Son’s HS. The diversity lady said that 23% of the freshman class iss diverse (or whatever the term is) but looking around, I don’t know who they were counting. I know they are making a big push to attract students of all types but for now the diversty of the student body isn’t exactly going to be broadening anyone’s horizons. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>Amazing things:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>There’s always something out there to give perspective. At convocation, as I’m still wondering how my child with milds Aspergers Syndrome will succeed, in walks the blind kid. I was practically hyperventilating on behalf of his mother and so wanted to meet her so I could bow at her feet.</p></li>
<li><p>The moment of goodbye, out in the hallway of the dorm. Who bursts into tears and sobs like a baby? Husband. No tears from Son. My eyes welled up but no sobs. It’s only Husband who - stereotypically - had no idea it would hit him like that. LOL. On the way to the car I told him it was so like a guy - I said I’d been crying steadily since May, so I was ready for it. It hit him like a ton of bricks. He said, “well, isn’t that more effecient to just cry when you need to?” </p></li>
</ol>
<p>I persuaded him to stop at Sonic for cherry limeades which really hit the spot after all the heat and we made the slow trip home up I-35. When we got home I went to Panda Express to bring home dinner and while I was in line, *twice *thought I was one meal short and had to remember that Son was not with us.</p>
<p>Y’all have been so wonderful in helping me and others prepare for this experience!</p>
<p>Missypie-- great report! So far, so good …</p>
<p>woody, I think that anxiety after getting into a competitive college is natural. I remember feeling it (and it didn’t help that 2 of my 3 roommates were HS valedictorians). I worked incredibly hard for the first 6 weeks – did 12 weeks of work in the math/science courses and got A’s on all quizzes (it actually helps to work ahead) – and concluded I was smart enough to cut it. My anxiety level went way down. I think that Modadunn’s reply is wise, but nothing will help like getting there. My experience was that some extra effort at the beginning reduced the anxiety. </p>
<p>We finished a vacation at our cottage on a lake and our son loves it up there and stayed on with some friends. While we were up there, we scheduled a dinner at one of our favorite restaurants in the nearest city with someone who could help him get his book published. He really did not want to go (although he agreed to do it). He told me that most of the year he has a knot in his chest (reflecting, I’d guess, anxiety) that reflects all of the stuff he knows he will have to do. He doesn’t have the knot at the cottage and wanted to stay relaxed. But, he does not want to give it up. He said it makes him think things through in advance and plan ahead (e.g., the questions he used to ask in HS would be “What do I have to do to get the teacher to give me a 105 out of 100?” or “What do I have to do to get an A on this paper without killing my self?” or “What do I have to do to get the teacher (or significant other adult) to be impressed with me early in the course so that he/she will give me the benefit of the doubt or reference I will want later?”). So, I think it is natural for there to be a fair bit of anxiety in the air.</p>
<p>Missy, thanks for the report. You did great…ALL of you!</p>
<p>Thanks for the report. Did your other kids stay home?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Yeah. The older one has a car, so they were fine. Except that the younger one microwaved popcorn for 5 full minutes so we’re quite fortunate that there wasn’t a fire. </p>
<p>Really, if folks can leave siblings at home, do. The kids who were there seemed so bored. It would be a great idea for the schools to have a room dedicated to showing G and PG rated movies all weekend to keep the siblings from utter boredom.</p>
<p>Ugh! I wrote a post, hit post and poof! it was gone.</p>
<p>Missypie… great post. Poignant and funny. Thought the H thing was interesting, and will wonder if mine will react the same. He is very much thinking it’ll all be nothing.</p>
<p>NMN… Great idea about Albertville, especially the nike outlet and socks etc. I usually spend far more than I would otherwise because I always think things are such a bargain. Oh brother. However, maybe that’s where I should go buy S a new navy blazer as well!</p>
<p>One bit of advice for those of you who haven’t left yet. Take a moment and make a packing list for yourself if you are spending the night. In the flurry of remembering everything your child will need for the semester, it’s easy to forget to bring what you’ll need for the weekend. I forgot to bring a book to read in the hotel before bed.</p>
<p>missypie - congratulations on a successful launch and thank you for that wonderful post!</p>
<p>in the category of “what was I thinking?” we agreed months ago to drive both Ds and friends to a concert 2.5 hours away tonight, returning in the wee hours tomorrow. tomorrow is in 3 days before D1 leaves! what was I thinking?! </p>
<p>had D’s girl scout troop and moms over yesterday for a final gathering and good-bye. very emotional. ran into a neighbor with a younger daughter today and she said even she teared up, driving by and seeing us taking pictures on the front steps.</p>
<p>I am very late in joining this thread, but I have benefited greatly from it. I am inspired reading about all the “kids” who have managed to deal with learning disabilities, anxiety, health problems, and making this huge transition in their lives, as well as the wise parents who have guided them along the way.</p>
<p>My dd will fly out in a few days for a pre-orientation backpacking trip, and we will meet up with her a few days later for the move-in day, bringing all her belongings. She is still working full-time this week, and is starting to mumble about needing to clean her room and pack as well as see various friends one last time. And she really wants to review Calculus before she takes the math placement exam on-line which also must be done in the next 5 days. It sounds overwhelming to me, but she is very accustomed to throwing things together at the last minute.</p>
<p>I am more concerned about dd#2 who will miss her sister like crazy, and is absolutely terrified of being an only child with all that parental energy directed only at her!</p>
<p>D2 is having a hard time today; lots of status posts on Facebook indicating friends have gone, or are leaving today or tomorrow … I don’t remember quite this intensity with D1 four years ago. Either my memory really is going, or time heals (all) (most) wounds.</p>