<p>Quiet day – spring break for the school district and the local U. Two of D’s three readers on her thesis are pleased with it; the third has not yet provided comments, but I have fingers crossed that she will be too. </p>
<p>Social norms are a big issue, and seem especially hard for immigrant parents to navigate. It can make it really challenging for the kids. </p>
<p>But it isn’t always the immigrant parents – my MIL’s mother – who was Texan (sorry, MissyPie) stated that she was going to go to live with my MIL for graduate school because an unmarried daughter should not be living in a situation without a chaperone. MIL ended up in a short-lived marriage pretty much in rebellion, which is hard for me to even contemplate. Just Say No apparently wasn’t one of the options. (For lots of reasons, if they’d been looking for stand-ins for the Wicked Witch of the West, MIL’s mother would have been an A-1 candidate.)</p>
<p>Uh oh…just read that that some people are not liking “Parents of the class of…” threads and don’t think they belong on this board. Yikes! I have found the info here invaluable! I hope we don’t get nuked! :(</p>
<p>Glad your book club went well, NorthMinnesota. I hope you saved some chocolate-covered strawberries for us!</p>
<p>The OP complaining about the “Parents of the class of…” threads had been absent from CC for a while between children and was upset that these groups are taking up the front page of the Parents Forum, possibly causing parents seeking “real” advice to not find it. </p>
<p>I don’t know how each of you found CC - I found it initially doing an internet search AFTER my D’s college applications were all submitted. It was a school-specific thread where she had applied ED. She was deferred and ultimately rejected. I remember reading the threads and realizing at the time March wasn’t going to be pretty. As we approach the 4-yr anniversary of that time, I am so grateful 1) she ended up where she is by some miracle; 2) I discovered CC and used the knowledge here to make S’s college search much less stressful with a fabulous outcome; and 3) found a sense of community and support here.</p>
<p>Today’s my deadline to submit my final copy of a presentation for a conference at the end of next week in Philadelphia. Time to get back to the grindstone!</p>
<p>^sound of crickets echoing through the thread…where did you read this nonsense? </p>
<p>Here’s why I predict nothing will come of that. To sustain itself, cc relies on revenue from the behavioral targeting network. The demographic of a typical parents thread is prime, and the fact that they come here frequently means they bring those ad impression with them to serve. (These are ads that follow you around based on where else you’ve been on the web. So if you just looked at Lexus site, for example, you will notice an ad show up here as either re messaging from your other site visit, or delivered by a competitor, say, Audi, because you’ve been looking at Lexus’s.)</p>
<p>By discouraging the continued participation of parents once their kids are AT college would be demographic suicide: We’re all about to have more money in our lives with the end of tuition checks ;)</p>
<p>While it is a pain in the butt to maintain security and upgrade a bulletin board, there is a degree of economy of scale. So if you have to maintain it for the “year or two” parents need it anyway, why not keep them in the community. I suspect many posters would not frequent the site as much without the social aspect of the connection. We’re the frequency to decrease, so too would the occasions of valuable input, which is at the heart of what benefits a discussion board. For example, I just heard from a kid I assisted on this board sat year, letting me know (happily) about a transfer into a program. If I weren’t checking in here to cyber-hang-out with you guys, I may have never looked at the other threads or made a contribution to that student.</p>
<p>So, I suspect the folks who run cc are clever enough to realize it would be wise to maintain the community and ergo not only its audience for ad delivery but also it’s source of actual, experienced assistance If they did, it would be an opportunity missed. Audienceship is a big issue on the web. And folks, we resemble that remark!</p>
<p>Yikes. I’ve been on CC since 2004, not as an active participant, mind you, but I relied heavily on posters who are no longer here for advice and input re: D and her education in general. Marite in particular was a great source of information for me. Thank goodness I found TheAnalyst (where are you, by the way?) I would hate to see these threads moved or eliminated. Yes, you can get information from other threads but there is something to be said for getting information and advice from people that actually “know” you and your child. Plus, if people don’t like the “Class” threads always on page one, perhaps they should boost some other threads by posting in them. That’s how reddit works, anyway! Some of the other threads seem more “private” than ours, and frankly, some people I don’t want to interact with - they just don’t seem very nice! I’m afraid to say anything, even when I know the information is wrong! </p>
<p>H is finally off for a few days. D has her start date and she’ll have a few months post-grad with <em>gasp</em>nothing to do. My suggestions of things she could do fell on deaf ears. S is going to have to move back in with us; his roommates are all graduating and he can’t afford his own apartment thanks to his hours being reduced so his employer (ironically, the state) doesn’t have to provide him with health insurance. Happily he has found another second job (again, part-time) that hopefully will lead to one, full-time job. </p>
<p>As Gilda Radner used to say, “It’s Always Something.”</p>
<p>Loving those Lady Bears. Britney Griner dunked three times in the last home game of her senior year. It is a pleasure to see a young woman receivng such aclaim and adoration for something other than being pretty or singing. Older D momentarily wishes she had gone to Baylor (with half the rest of her class.) I reminded her that between the football and basketball games, she would be living in Waco, TX instead of Chicago.</p>
<p>Taking D to work with me this morning to learn how to copy, print, etc.</p>
<p>The advantage of the class of x threads is that interesting stuff keeps happening even after the student has been admitted to college. I look forward to this morphing into a newbie worker/grad school/still working on undergrad thread, but would be perfectly fine with these threads being in their own sub-forum. S1 is currently interviewing people for internships at his firm and he was asking for my favorite interview questions. That would be great fun to discuss, but I wont venture beyond this thread because some of the other posters are just too caustic for my taste. I use this thread not to ask for advice but for socializing with other parents sharing similar challenges and triumphs with their young adults.</p>
<p>And speaking of challenges, S2s job offer fell through. S2 is home this week for spring break and will start applying to jobs again today. He and I have both been stress eating all semester (well really all year), which is not good. In the meantime, S1 looks like he has lost weight, which I didnt think was even possible. He is on a competitive soccer team and signed up for a triathlon next month so probably on an insane workout schedule similar to what H follows. Its hard to believe the four of us are in the same family. I really have to find my motivation again.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear about S2’s job offer. What happened?</p>
<p>I have gotten very good advice on CC, starting with how to deal with ShawSon’s application and even whether he should retake the SATs (on which he did very well but felt he could get 2400 if he took it again and got great advice – keep your score and work on applications). How to deal with LDs in applications (though I think I have thought that through better than the folks who answer when new posters ask the same questions). I found it helpful on the logistics of the application as well. Plus, lots of life advice. [Clothes budget for ShawD, should she take a yoga teaching job, … Lots of questions re ShawSon].</p>
<p>Shaw, he didn’t pass the background check, which shocked him. Having gone through clearance investigations myself, I am less surprised. There is a lot that goes into those investigations. They may not have liked his choice of friends. They may think he drinks too much on the week-end. They may not like that his brother was in the Middle East during the Arab spring. Who knows? They don’t tell you the reason, so rather than speculating, I’m encouraging him to let it go and just move on.</p>
<p>Again,TA, so sorry to hear this. We are still waiting to hear back about S2’s top secret clearance. As you say, there is so much that goes into it. They talked with him, me,neighbors, all of his roommates,etc. I’m a little worried as he has no backup plan. He’s a typical college kid but you never know what they’ll potentially hear or see that could cause a problem. I’m sure this is stressful for your son (and you) . I really do hope something turns up for him soon.</p>
<p>That is tough, TA, and I am sorry. Good advice to just move on and let it go. I am confident he will find himself on his feet when all is said and done.</p>
<p>sevmom, hopefully your S will hear good news soon. They are trying to complete at least 90% of the clearances within 60 days, but the federal budget cuts may be hurting their timeliness. </p>
<p>He is filling out applications as we speak. I suspect he will find something that pays far more, but Im not sure he will consider it better. That job was a good fit for him and he has never cared a whit about money. But he is learning to roll with the punches and Im sure he will land on his feet eventually. Lots of us have kids who have taken a somewhat bumpy path in getting from here to there.</p>
<p>TA,They started his clearance in early January so it has been well over 60 days now. Maybe that’s not a good sign but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. </p>
<p>It is great that your son is rolling with the punches . That is a wonderful trait to have and he sounds like a great kid. Are the jobs he’s filling out applications for going to require an extensive background check? It is too bad they couldn’t tell him what the issue was. I could be wrong but I thought the person who came to my house in January said my son could get access to what was said about him. Of course, if your son is trying to move on, may not be worth checking into, especially if he will not need a background check with other jobs. Good luck to him!</p>
<p>TA sorry for your S. The weight gain–arrgh–I have been rainy weather eating and it never helps when D is home. I had lost 8 and now get to lose 5 of the original again. The total does not sound like much but it is a huge difference as to whether my clothes fit and, of course, how I feel.
km congrats on your lose!
sevmom good luck to your S</p>
<p>The visit ended well with S and family. Mainly because he asked for his upcoming birthday money and had time to himself to buy airsoft stuff. He is playing with wife’s B
so it seems to be OK with her. I did have an ah ha moment after they left. As I have mentioned, I am not really a baby person. However I am very much a 20something person. It is my favorite age and I really have enjoyed clients over the years in this age group. I think this is why my DIL does not bother me. She has huge plans and is still forming ideas about herself. Her main point of reference is still her childhood. My GF finds her lack of realism annoying while I find it interesting. Anyway, so glad she and I seem to get along. She does things that bugs me (changing the baby bare bottom on the light green leather coach with no pad.) and I am learning how to say when something matters to me. In general, though, she will talk my head off if we are alone.</p>
<p>TA sorry to hear about your son clearance refusal, they are very nerve racking and it is bothersome that they dont tell you why. </p>
<p>Well my days are now numbered at work. I have been informed that my layoff will be effective May 22nd and that I will be officially retired as of May 23rd. Now the nerves are really kicking in. My D has received official aceptance at 5 colleges for her Masters program and I dont want to squash any of her plans but she will now need to understand that mom and dad do have finite resources. A week or so ago when I first posted about this I was upbeat and looking forward to it but now that it is in writing with a date attached my stomach is churning, my head is spinning and all the worst possible scenarios are going through my head. I think tonight calls for a beer :). The next 8 weeks will be incredibly difficult to focus on work, I am in the middle of a major, major multimillion dollar multi year project of my own design and now I will just walk away and turn it over to someone else, that will be hard. I have no problem sharing my knowledge and plans but this was going to be my most impressive project to date and I would have enjoyed having seen it through. That is a my pride talking but it is true.
Anyway I think I am leaving work a little early today and my poor dog will be getting the walk of his life tonight. I normally walk him about 6 miles or so in the evening and tonights might be a lot longer as my W and I have a lot of emotions and realities to put into perspective and we always walk him together in the evening and talk about the days events so that they are gone and we can just relax. Sorry if I am dragging this out.</p>
If they did, it would be an opportunity missed. Audienceship is a big issue on the web. And folks, we resemble that remark!</p>