<p>My D2 who does not has aspergers’s went to camp at Columbia in the summer called me every day "my roomates left " etc… I 'am not as smart as these seniors we get a graaaaaade!!! Thes kids are not my type - turns out one roomate preferred her just knew the other kids so chummed with them until SHE was more comfortable, and branched out, my D met kids more like her and ended up happy and winning an award (one of 4 in the whole camp) Anyway, I think once things settle down, people wont be so cliquish (is that a word) they are all nervous and will branch out and he will find his niche and way to fit in. She had me so stressed !!! for nada. She is the kind of kid who does not jump in right away and sometimes gets left out sometimes its good sometimes not.</p>
<p>missypie, ouch. I fully expect that good things lie ahead for your S but still, it must hurt at the moment and I’m sorry.</p>
<p>eggmom, your visit sounds great. (And the fact that he’s done laundry already is astounding - really.)</p>
<p>cpeltz, tick tock is right. Do you have a lot of good distractions available today?</p>
<p>downtoearth, EVERYBODY in my house is acting strangely. H and I keep reminding each other not to displace the sadness; it’s almost becoming a joke, but not quite.</p>
<p>kumitedad, yup, garbage bags and a sense of adventure are really valuable. Add kleenex and water bottles and you’re just about there.</p>
<p>Hi, LIMOM! I meant the different directions things in a purely literal, compass-directions sense: He’s going south and slightly west; she’s going north and slightly east. </p>
<p>H announced to me this morning that this was S1’s last day at home. No, really? :D</p>
<p>The kid is launched!</p>
<p>He was at his dad’s until Tuesday of this past week. Upon arriving at my house, he did almost exactly nothing to prepare for his move to college. I told him he had to do his laundry and fold stuff so it was ready to pack. He stuffed it in drawers; claimed he washed it, but the stuff certainly wasn’t folded. Crumpled, yes; folded, no. </p>
<p>So … Thursday night was his last night at home. We had to leave bright and early the next morning because we were meeting another family for dinner in the college town. Some of the laundry had supposedly been done, but not all of it; I had told him I’d wash all new stuff, and did that when I got home from work. </p>
<p>About 2 AM Friday morning, when I asked him where his jeans were, he pointed to three new and newly-washed pairs and said, “Right there.” I asked where the rest of them were, or did he really think three pairs of jeans were enough? He had to think about this – not about whether three pairs were enough, because for a kid who doesn’t want to do laundry every week, it’s clear three aren’t enough, but about where the other jeans were. So he went upstairs and looked in his dresser; pulled out a lot of jeans. NONE OF THESE PASSED THE SNIFF TEST. So at 2 AM, he was putting a load of jeans in the washing machine, and I was checking the Maryland State Code online to see if infanticide was still a crime and whether there were any loopholes for situations such as the night before leaving for college. </p>
<p>This was about three hours after I’d started packing the shirts he had said he’d washed and gave them the sniff test. NONE OF THESE PASSED THE SNIFF TEST. Oh, said the kid; maybe he forgot to use detergent when he washed them. So at 11 PM, in went what I thought surely had to be the LAST load of laundry that would be done before he went off to college. </p>
<p>What a silly idea. </p>
<p>Never occurred to him that if he “hadn’t used detergent” when he “washed” the shirts, the rest of that load – the jeans – also would not be clean. I told him that rather than wash the jeans at 2 AM, he could just take them to college as is and wash them there. Nooooooooooooooo!!! He had to wash them at hoooooooooooome!!! (Well, kid, you had THREE DAYS to do it and should have done it when you’d told me you’d done it!)</p>
<p>I went to bed. I eventually calmed down enough to go to sleep. </p>
<p>We did get everything done. The kid’s dad was going to come over “early” on Friday to help the kid pack the stereo. Yeah, that didn’t happen; when I called his dad about 9, 9:30, I woke the guy up. “Oh, I’ll be over there as soon as I shower, have coffee, and get dressed.” Easily a two- to three-hour proposition with this guy; he’s a good guy, but has NO perception of time at all. </p>
<p>I called back about 10:30 to let him know we were ready to go.</p>
<p>“Okay, I guess I’ll come over now and then come back for my stuff.”</p>
<p>“Why are you coming over??”</p>
<p>“To help pack!,” says the kid’s dad. </p>
<p>“But we are done packing; we are ready to leave!”</p>
<p>“Oh! But… don’t you need to put stuff in my car?”</p>
<p>“NO! We are PACKED, and the kid is chomping at the bit; he wants to leave NOW, so we will see you up there! I was just letting you know that we are ready to go; please bring the kid’s retainers with you!”</p>
<p>And now it occurs to me that one thing we forgot to take and thought about buying there but forgot to do so is laundry detergent. Must be a mental block brought about by recent laundry trauma!</p>
<p>I had to remind the kid several times yesterday that his going away to college wasn’t happening just to him, that it was happening to his parents, too, this in reply to the spawn’s complaints about my taking pictures.</p>
<p>He was on Facebook or IRC yesterday at some point, and one of the other kids he was talking with, when learning my spawn was in his dorm room, told him to close the computer and go meet people!</p>
<p>No tears from anyone. Drive home was long, mostly rainy, and uneventful. Haven’t heard from him, and don’t really expect to… until he needs 1.) to know where his new bank account is; 2.) to know how to access the money I put into the new account; 3.) more food/something he’s forgotten. </p>
<p>I’m sending him a care package tomorrow anyway. Ooooo… maybe I should put some detergent in it! :D</p>
<p>Congratulations, Owlice. Yay for launching the spawn! Where’ve you been hiding, anyway?</p>
<p>Thanks for the clarification, Harriet. I sort of figured you meant geographically, just wasn’t sure whether your starting point was home or S1’s school.</p>
<p>missypie - I’m sure your S will be fine, but I know that had to be hard for you to hear. </p>
<p>Good luck, everyone.</p>
<p>Thanks, LIMOM!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>In the laundry room!!! :D</p>
<p>missiepie: There is a whole chapter in the Naked Roommate on meeting people will your s read it? You are right in assuming that once classes start things will improve for him. Have they had the club joining day yet? </p>
<p>Another thing TNR talks about is how people tend to “group” initially based on proximity but that as time goies on it all sorts out and people actually choose friend based on less tenuous connections. It will be better for him I’m sure of it but he may have to be a bit proactive which I know can be tough for ALL of us.</p>
<p>Harriet: lol on you H illucidating the obvious 
Last night I told my H the girls have decided they won’t probably come home for Labor Day. He was really sad. I think he was counting on that visit.</p>
<p>Enjoy this day Harriet! Tomorrow I hope the four of you have a great held together move in full of positives and a visit w/ your D :)</p>
<p>Last night was my in-laws 50th. It was a family party and the BEST part was the cousins ranging in age from 18 to 8 playing Simon Says, Running off into the dark inventing their own play and just being kids in a Norman Rockwell sort of way; a pretty sweet way to end the kids’ summers.</p>
<p>Yesterday my SIL suggested that we take two cars because of the way they structure the drop off, her S attends the same school. DH thought it was a good idea but there was no way I was giving in to that one. Now let’s hope everything fits in one truck so it won’t be an issue…</p>
<p>OWLICE!!! 
So happy to see you. Now I’m going to read your post!!!</p>
<p>LOL on forgetting the laundry detergent! Is it still infanticide when the child in question is a teen? There ought to be special dispinsation.</p>
<p>S still sleeping, so I imagine that the family breakfast is out. 
Oh well, will substitute grabbing some fine cuisine at Top Dogs on Durant. Good thing UCB is only 30+ miles away or I would be a lot more stressed.</p>
<p>How can he be still sleeping? On the day of the beginning of this more important day (so far) of his life? I wish I had his nerves (or lack thereof). I guess envying him is a sign that we did something right in his upbringing </p>
<p>Missypie, not to worry, he is just having to find folks with similar tastes. Not everyone likes the same stuff, and sometimes it doesnt happen right away.</p>
<p>I think it just hit me that we’re leaving tomorrow…when I tried to get boarding passes printed here at home, but couldn’t check in because Northwest has taken over our Delta flight and I apparently have the wrong confirmation code. We have seat assignments, so I’m not worried…but it was a chink in my otherwise usually EXTREMELY well-organized travel armor.</p>
<p>S2 has been very sweet–snuggled with me while I watched Iron Chef last night–and is clearly starting to “get it” as well. He’s recording a CD today with a great jazz combo, so that’s a fun, creative, challenging way to launch into his next musical phase. He’s nervous about getting beaten up in music school, but is excited too. He knows at least 10 kids going to Oberlin (including one of his best friends going to the College,) so that part of the transition will be fairly painless–the harder part being just the organization, I think. He really is content to let me figure out logistics and, while he is eminently capable, has not taken much time to figure out the systems he’ll be dealing with and–miraculously–I haven’t either, so he’s on his own to find his resources.</p>
<p>I take pepcid: wonder what will help him? ;)</p>
<p>I’ll be back to report on Thursday. Everyone on the bus with us this week: good luck, safe travels and margaritas on the other side!!</p>
<p>Hiya, historymom!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Apparently, the correct term is filicide; I had to Google this. Oh, the perils of taking one’s parenting quips from Calvin and Hobbes!!</p>
<p>owlice! Congratulations and three cheers for such a successful and, um, fresh-smelling launch. And at my house we take most of our parenting quips (and occasionally our parenting philosophy) from Calvin & Hobbes. Yes, I <em>am</em> the Zogwarg Queen.</p>
<p>historymom, what a wonderful image of the cousins at your in-laws’ party. I’m so happy your girls (and historyson) could be part of that. Such nice timing, too.</p>
<p>SJTH, one of S1’s best friends left for Oberlin yesterday. Safe, calm travels and a happy launch to you. I like the idea of lots of us being on the bus together.</p>
<p>Hi everyone, I’m back from visiting family in the Midwest and very limited internet access (and no privacy, there is no way my kids know I do this). Haven’t had time to do more than skim the last few pages…sounds like lots of you have gone through the send off. To the parents and students who are struggling I send my best wishes. Hang in there. Hopefully in a few weeks it will all be smooth.
We have a week to go until move-in day. D is excited, can’t wait to start. I just hope I can still say the same in a week and a half or so. Time will tell.</p>
<p>Does S really have to pick two days before the trip to decide to be the gem I knew he was hiding? He was at a gaming convention with his buds, and just spent half an hour downloading about it…then asked why he was supposed to use permanent press on the dryer and what he should do if there’s not that cycle at school…actually looked at the stacks of stuff from shower curtain to self-adhesive hooks and looked happy. Man, do I love that young man.</p>
<p>He really keeps things in (he got the “buck up” gene from mom), but had to say goodbye to two of his friends this morning, one of whom is heading to Berkeley, the other one, very bright but with uninvolved parents, to a CC - I think it’s real for all of them, and I believe S is secretly pleased with his school.</p>
<p>Missypie, keep faith that your S will find his fit. While we’ve all graduated from raising these seniors, none of us knows what’s in store for them the next four years, but they’ve made it this far, and we need to have confidence they can run the rest of the race without us as jockeys. Easier said than done, I know.</p>
<p>Thanks, everyone.</p>
<p>Good to hear from you, Owlice…detergent? clean clothes? This should be my son’s week to get to the end of the 14 pairs of underwear and 14 pairs of socks…wonder what will happen? Laundry really will be a pain because they have a small (three story) dorm and each floor has exactly one washer and one dryer. I told him to find a two hour break between morning/early afternoon classes on a week day and try to grab the washer then.</p>
<p>Missypie- when my 1st child went off to college a good friend of mine with older children gave me the advice of never calling your child on a Friday or Sat night.</p>
<p>meh…I texted D2 on Friday night. Her roomie was visiting another college so wanted to see what she was doing. Hanging curtains and working on wireless router. Some of the other teammates were partying. sigh… On Saturday she texted she was going out to eat at the 'bee (Applebees…;)) with other freshies. Good choice I thought!</p>
<p>Hi all – commiserating, laughing and crying at the same with all your stories both poignant and funny about “the launch.”</p>
<p>Our older D starts classes tomorrow in her doctoral program; and younger daughter is somewhere on the backpacking trail. We have no contact with her, and I imagine her alternately sore, bug-bitten, hot and sweaty, miserable … and having a ball. We fly back for orientation on Tuesday.</p>
<p>For my part, I finally went and told my hair dresser to get rid of some of my gray … first time I’ve done any color. I prefer to think of this as pampering myself instead of denial…</p>
<p>Just checking in! T-minus 2 full days to actually getting on the plane. Finally made progress! Got D to go through all her clothes to pick out what she was taking so we could see if it would all fit in the suitcases or do we need to bring a box? Already shipped 3 boxes out on Saturday. She has no clue that most of her Florida wardrobe will not "make it’ in NYC past Labor Day, but I’ve already planned on bringing several suitcases full home when we go up for Columbus Day weekend. I still don’t know where she is going to put 16 pairs of jeans, 7 hoodies, and all her t-shirts not to mention all the other clothes she is bringing. I have a feeling some of her wardrobe will be coming back with us when we leave next Sunday.</p>
<p>Regarding clothes - I feel so sorry for the girls in my son’s coed dorm - the roommates share a chest of drawers with six narrow drawers. Son’s clothes fit just fine, but no way would my D’s clothes have fit! And at least they’re in the South…can’t imagine how a bunch of sweaters would fit.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>It was Husband who initiated the call, who doesn’t care for anyone’s advice unless it’s his mother’s. I thought the same thig - at 9:30 on a Saturday night, a college kid is either going to be out, or miserable because he’s not.</p>
<p>I think I’m going to try some specific social coaching with Son. I think he’s turning down soem invitations because he’s sick of people and wants some alone time - but then he’s lonely when he’s alone.</p>
<p>I sure did think college in Massachusetts would be cooler than Texas, but it was HOT! </p>
<p>And I got to meet several CC posters in real life - #theorymom, CBBBlinker, skithesteeps and dragonlady, all very friendly people. I feel very lucky to be part of this CC/WPI group!</p>
<p>Good luck to the next group of parents taking their children to college.</p>