<p>We had a lovely 21st birthday party for our baby, ShawD. Just family and a few friends and she invited a few of her friends. Then they went to one of the local ponds to swim and paddle board. </p>
<p>Happy Birthday to ShawD! The party sounds very nice.</p>
<p>I am testing the cc app. It doesn’t seem to update </p>
<p>Well, I guess the app works but that no one posted today. Can that possibly be true? </p>
<p>I am in Arkansas, at younger D’s freshman orientation. Boy,there are a lot of very blonde girls with Tori Burch handbags. I keep reassuring D that she will find “her people” but I"m not at all sure of it myself. </p>
<p>LOL, mp – guess it is true. Must be the Monday funk thing …</p>
<p>I just looked up info on U of A – with enrollment of 25,000+, it does seem as if your D will find her spot. OTOH, I well remember when I was applying to colleges and refused to use my home state university (UMAss) as a “safety” since the campus population was bigger than my hometown! What is your D’s reaction to everything?</p>
<p>Kiley and I “graduated” from Puppy Kindergarten yesterday – whoo hoo! H stopped coming to classes after the 2nd one, so sometimes I feels as if the training is useless since he keeps “forgetting” the commands, signals, etc. Consistency is key with a stubborn pup like Kiley, though. We’re getting an electric fence installed next week, so hopefully she’ll take to it as well as our previous Wheaten.</p>
<p>It may be a sign of waning hipness, but I don’t know what a Tori Burch and bag is, Missy 
I do hope your D finds her people and it certainly doesn’t hurt to tell her that because mindset is everything when finding your peeps :)</p>
<p>I think we’re all quiet on the thread right now because we’re busy imagining an escape to Barcelona with you Please give us reports en route so I a weep a little (with joy) for you!</p>
<p>I know some of you have book clubs…have you read The Afterparty by Daryl Gregory? Sounds sci-fi but IMHO really borders mor on “literature.” A compelling read, anyway.</p>
<p>I’ve got to get my book club to stop reading such lame fodder. That’s probably the thing I miss most with mcson gone…he was an excellent lit buddy, fun to share books with and discuss. Mch, by comparison, reads a lot, but as a sci fi fan, he reads for what I call “idea porn” and isn’t terrifically discerning about the power of the prose :)</p>
<p>As much reservation as I have about mcson coming home next month in terms of disruption to the empty nest, I will look forward to such discussions.</p>
<p>I’m not worried about his working with us – I’m looking forward to that part. And since we’re kind of setting him up in a “separate residence” (the poolhouse upper…it’s about 550 s.f. and not unlike a bachelor apt. Except no washroom, unfortunately) I’m not terribly worried about the intrusion factor.</p>
<p>I think its his heart I’m worried about. When his gf was in Australia, he was really emotional and touchy…and I am wondering how they will fare now in this situation, which is growing more real to me as it grows near. I do not want him to feel left behind and forgotten. And because of the economic differences in our families, I have the possibly-irrational sense that while in many ways I’ve given him everything I could, it was just enough to have him see how much he doesn’t have, at least in terms of the kind of economic freedom she enjoys as an artist.</p>
<p>I think, as they say, I’m over-sympathizing with the subject :)</p>
<p>Enjoy the orientation and Barcelona MP.</p>
<p>Just arrived in London. So happy to have been able to check in early and happy for free wifi! Hope everybody has a nice couple of weeks.</p>
<p>Good Morning! Busy yesterday catching up on the home front since I have been at the lake for the past week. H and I also celebrated our 35th anniversary yesterday. Had a great dinner out with another couple who just found out they will be grandparents. Unfortunately we threw a monkey wrench in to our Ds plans. They had planned a surprise gathering with four of our close friends but hadn’t asked us what we were doing and didn’t know we had already made plans. The girls had to contact everyone and cancel. It was a good lesson for them. </p>
<p>missy…D2 attended a university where dressing up for class and carrying designer purses was the norm. Seeing anyone wearing sweatpants to class was definitely rare. Lots of Tori Burch, Kate Spade and Longchamps totes. Your D2 will find her people. Is she open to joining a club in an area that she has a passion in?</p>
<p>Congrats on graduation CBB! I want D1 to take her dog back to obedience school but so far she isn’t interested.</p>
<p>Thanks for the book suggestion kmc. I am not a big sci fi reader but will take a look. My summer reads are usually from the thriller/mystery genres. I raced through the Louise Penny’s Inspector Gamache series and loved them.Her descriptions and character development were lovely. I also finished David Baldacci’s John Puller series. I save the more “serious” books for fall and winter. ;)</p>
<p>sevmom…have a wonderful time in London! Wish I was back there. I loved attending the Ceremony of the Keys at the Tower of London. Hands down my favorite event. I also discovered I liked hard cider at some very interesting pubs.;)</p>
<p>Sevmom - have a pint of London Pride for me! One thing I loved about being there. Also if you go to Redding you have to stop at a restaurant called Sweeney Todd’s for a meat pie – very interesting place! If you know the play it makes for a rather interesting experience - if you go ask if you can sit downstairs – even more interesting! :)</p>
<p>The trip to Barcelona isn’t quire as great as it seems. My H sings professionally and a couple of the choirs for which he is a frequent ringer needed a strong tenor for their European tour so they are paying his way. H talked me into going as a paid non singing hanger on. I thought about singing too but their performance attire is too ghastly. We are going to Barcelona, Aix en Procence, Macon and Paris. Group travel is frustrating but there is quite a bit on free time. Day 2 of orientation. Time to separate them from their parents and sign then up for classes a that they don’t want, at either 8 an or 4 pm on Friday afternoon. I bought a snickers bar. D found some buddies last night. </p>
<p>Thanks RM. NM wish I had seen that about london pride. Just had a pint at a fuller’ s pub near our hotel-the Hereford Arms. Had a small batch lager instead but came close to getting the London pride. I might just have to get back there to try it! Leave for British isles cruise on Friday. Great weather. </p>
<p>Ooh, Aix and Paris too…dang Missy, still gonna make me cry!</p>
<p>Paris sounds great. We have a stop in Le Havre and had to make a decison of what to do. Thought of going to Paris but had been there before. Going to Giverny and Rouen instead . Haven’t been to Europe in quite awhile so looking forward to seeing some new sights.</p>
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<p>H persuaded me to go on this choir trip with him because Barcelona and Paris are two of my favorite cities and he said we would have lots of free time, esp. if we skipped the guided tours of places we’ve already been. Just now, of course, he is trying to back down, saying “but I wouldn’t mind seeing __ again…” I’m going to stand firm because he will be glad to see some new sights, he just doesn’t realize it yet.</p>
<p>Home safe and sound from Arkansas. D’s schedule is pretty bad but I’ve seen worse. Next semester’s registration will be just as bad or worse, because she won’t be going in with AP credits like the other two did.</p>
<p>She seems excited about the school, so I’m fine with it. I have concluded that I am just too old to think any college seems terrific. I have gone on campus tours of over a dozen. The only one I was really taken with is the one older D attends, but that is because of its cool urban neighborhood. Just the thought of not getting the classes or times or teachers you want, living in close quarters with strangers, eating bad food, walking across campus rain, shine, heat, ice, etc., studying things for which you have no aptitude (some of the gen ed classes) … It’s for the young and adventurous, with better memories than I have. Not that I wouldn’t mind taking some classes on things that interest me. </p>
<p>I have a few things left to do before we leave in the morning, but we won’t leave the house until about 9:30 am, so I’ll do the last few things when I’m fresh. </p>
<p>So Missy - is this a whole family trip? How’d I miss this? And if not, whose in charge?</p>
<p>I hear you about the no longer having the energy to think about it all too much. Those 3rd borns are either really lucky or neglected. I havent quite decided which it should be, but I also know mine is the most entitled (or seemingly so). I was struck by a familiar chord when Kmc said McS was given just enough opportunity to recognize the difference. I think that is my S, but D2 seems to think we’re kidding when we say the gravy train ended two years ago, where the heck were you?</p>
<p>Seriously, I thought she was working as a coach and turns out she barely got paid? And she basically is flat broke coming into summer. Normally that has never really been a problem because she has always had a summer job… not this year! I asked her about the budget… since basically she’s saved a big fat zero… and she had the nerve to say she hadnt really figiured that part out yet!</p>
<p>Also… we’ve barely seen her and have only heard about how stressful finals were but then she had two days in the mountains of Vail living off Grandparents and then drove home. How much down time does a kid need whose leaving for abroad in 28 days.</p>
<p>And while I appreciate the school asking parents to let students do all the arranging and planning for these things, this doesn’t really help parents whose kids tell them nothing. I know you all have been through this travel abroad thing and so, I was just wondering. How panicked should I be that my D doesn’t seem to know even what classes she’ll take nor does it seem she met with her advisor about making sure she’s not wasting credits… argh. However, I have all but turned over the reigns to H and is why I did not change my plans to head to the nook next monday or tuesday. Of course, perhaps I should start packing since the whole of this place (whatever I am not taking with me) will end up in storage. Still no house, but the prospect of one still on the fringe if the owners decide actually to work within the market value. Have no plan for where we’ll live in the fall, even temporarily but the good news is I won’t move back until we have something vs staying in a hotel. </p>
<p>Good morning!
Missy and Sevmom, sending you the good travel adventure mojo!</p>
<p>Hey, Moda, if D2 only has 28 days til leaving for abroad, why not pay HER to pack the place for you and put everything into storage? Sounds like she needs to earn some cash ;)</p>
<p>My other sisters and I always felt our youngest sister was a bit entitled…as the youngest, she’d never been through any of the tougher economic times and with parents who didn’t have her until their mid-40s (mom) and 50s (dad), well, they were pretty worn down – but at the same time in much better economic shape than they’d been in earlier in their (second) marriage. She was also the one who lived at home the longest…but by then had saved up enough to buy her own house. Despite our reservations when she was younger, she actually turned out to be reasonably responsible with a good head on her shoulders in many ways. So the “entitled” part was really just that any other way of life was a bit foreign to her. </p>
<p>The rest of us had been a little wild, had left home early, and had made any number of stupid mistakes. Some of us were just too proud to ever ask for help so we made our own way (yours truly). </p>
<p>As you could tell, yesterday I was stewing a bit about mcson, so I sent him a note. He wrote back that he was actually relieved to be coming home for a bit because as much as he’d miss his friends and gf, he felt a compelling need to get some money saved up and get on his financial feet to move forward. He sounded like a man with a plan, and said he was grateful for the opportunity. Kind of an EDM moment. Maybe this perilous year of living among the wage slaves WAS good for him in many ways, much as I’d hoped to shield him from all of that :)</p>
<p>Right now, I am really glad we bought this house with the poolhouse/barn. The previous owner (before the foreclosed ones) had told us that her son had lived there into his mid-20s. At the time I’d joked that with a kid in performing arts, I saw the value…but was serious too. </p>
<p>The big drawback of it as both a guest quarters and now apt. Is that it has no water source due to the complicated footprint of the yard, pool, terrace/hill. To extend a waterline would mean ripping out both the expanse of deck AND the concrete. To intall a bathroom is even more expensive, because due to the hill it would require a grinder, pump, and extensive sewage line to the septic on the opposite side of the yard and pool…decimating the terrace with its mature japanese maple and age-old but beautiful azaleas that are taller than I am and ten times as wide.</p>
<p>We might do all of that one day, because to create a true separate residence might open up options as an alternative to a nursing home (with two of us, it might be cheaper to hire a live in nurse/elder nanny But because it involves the deck, concrete, and terrace (none of which need replacing at the moment) we concluded last year that it wasn’t worth having the most expensive bathroom in the universe until we were in a mood to remodel the pool area and had a lot of extra cash to burn ;)</p>
<p>In the mean time, I’ve decded a water cooler, hot plate and convection microwave will go a long way towards making it a slightly more “independent” place to be. I’ve put in a second set of base cabinet to create a workable little kitchenette downstairs. And now I’m wondering about those compost toilets made for remote cabins…I am dangerous with a possible project afoot :)</p>
<p>Happy/safe/fun travels, mp! You too, Sevmom!</p>
<p>Moda – although I’m all in favor of kids making their own decisions/finding their own way/living with the consequences of their decisions, I do have my limits! Potentially wasting credits (that we’re paying for) falls into that category, IMO. When D was applying for a semester abroad program not run by Wake Forest, there were many discussions with her advisor, the WF Registrar, etc. The program she did was phenomenal, but if she hadn’t been earning credits that went toward her graduation/major requirements, our view would have been different. In our case, the non-communicative child is S. In some respects, I guess it’s good that he has the Air Force breathing down his neck …</p>
<p>Fortunately, the program is thru her school and her grades were such that there is funding where they have paid her airfare etc. Basically, we’re paying the same as if she was at school - and in fact, pay the school directly. She is not really taking anything for her major, but that’s about all I know. I told H that it would be nice to actually get a visual on a transcript. I always had S’s password and then at the end when I thought he was short a class, turned out he was ahead by two and ended up with special student status his final quarter where he took only two classes, moved off campus and had a job as a TA. It saved us thousands in tuition, like 15K.</p>
<p>I actually meant to say she leaves the 28th of June… not in 28 days. But even though H is more patient than me in these instances, even he is getting perturbed. </p>
<p>KMC - you crack me up with the project. And I am not convinced about the composting toilet unless you have serious composting set up on your property… and even then, I am not sure I’d want to deal with that. :)</p>
<p>My daughter posted on FB a picture of herself with a democratic senator. My tea party mom was so upset. I am puzzled as to why? isn’t my D entitled to her own opinion? My mom was always like that could never see us a people who were growing and learning. When I was 12 and didn’t want to take my sister out in the stroller every night, there was something wrong with me. what 12 year old wants to do that? anyway, I feel that I parent my family sometimes. My sister doesn’t understand why she cant say anything she wants to my D either. I don’t say whatever I want its called respect for feelings. ie my children are people,
KMC the new place sounds awesome.
I will be leaving on my short trip soon. had my eyebrows waxed , very red and itchy. oww. </p>