Parents of the HS Class of 2009 (Part 1)

<p>Was thinking about he chipmunk and squirrel stories this weekend when a chipmunk jumped from one of my planters on the deck to the top of the “have-a-heart” trap that my husband put out. Seemed like the chipmunk was very thankful for the stairs we put in for the planter. Sigh… Not exactly the point or the trap. :)</p>

<p>Speaking of backyard critters – I still have the rabbit’s nest staked off in the back yard. Google tells me the babies should start venturing forth from the nest at about 3 weeks, which is in the next couple of days. Tomorrow we’re having an Invisible Fence put in for the puppy. Somehow I’m going to have to convince Kiley to leave the rabbits alone. Don’t even want to contemplate that potential horror … (But Kiley IS a terrier, and Wheatens are bred to root out critters and pests.)</p>

<p>D was here for the weekend. H was VERY pleasantly surprised when we arrived from the train station. After several reminder texts, S did call last night. He had been at his HS reunion in CT for the weekend. He said it was fun, but you’d never know it from his tone of voice. He just sounds unexcited about everything. I’m composing another lengthy email in my head – will put it all together later today to send. I just wish he’d talk to me! </p>

<p>Great testimony from your S, shaw!</p>

<p>CBB - I am just going to toss out there that there is a reason why “survival of the fittest” is a “thing.” :slight_smile: If Kiley gets a bunny, the bunny is gotten. End of that particular story - and guessing at least a few siblings will ultimately survive.</p>

<p>I have gotten past the desire to have my kids talk to “me.” Like for younger D, I guess I am just glad she talks to someone! And as long as I feel I can reasonably trust those people to offer sound advice and life direction, then I can feel OK about her not sharing all these feelings with me. So perhaps in this newly constructed email you might offer that you would just like to see him talking to someone (even a professional perhaps). For all my D’s push back against therapy in HS, I found it interesting(?) that she had already scheduled an appt for her first day home. Of course, I do not reject the possibility that it could have been to help her get her bearings in dealing with her parents! :)</p>

<p>S hit the “submit” on his application to med school on Saturday morning (so as to truly enjoy the weekend with that off his plate whereas I would have surely waited until Sunday evening for one more look over). He applied to 18 schools and only one has acceptance rates in double digits! Although his stats alone make him “competitive,” I will hope that his undergraduate school will give him a little bit of a bump when it comes to GPA, and his courses overall give him a bump for rigor. He did address why he didn’t complete a thesis project (which was that he could get Special Student status because he only had two classes left to take to graduate. It saved us nearly half the tuition for the semester, and both his advisors found other opportunities for him (TA Molecular Genetics and head up supervisory role in the main lab). Hope that works. He did not, however, use one of his “Work/Activities” spaces for academic achievement (Dean’s list, college scholar or magna cum laude) leaving it to the transcript. </p>

<p>I have no idea what med schools look for… I have no idea if the expectation is that he should have some firm helping him (like Med school counselor=college counselor). So while this kid DOES tell me every feeling, panic and anxiety of this process - I cannot truly offer comfort or consolation because I simply don’t know if his application is good, bad or ugly! But I do know it’s honest and sincere. </p>

<p>And in other news… D1 and her husband celebrated their first anniversary. A year flown by, that’s for sure.</p>

<p>Good luck to your son Moda.</p>

<p>I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for your son, Moda. </p>

<p>Congrats to your son, oregon! With his illnesses, new baby and marriage, I’m sure there were times when he felt overwhelmed. Wonderful news!
Ararab, S and D did a wine tour on Saturday at some of the vineyards in the North Fork. Photos are just beautiful. I’m glad you had a great time.
Good luck to S, moda! When will he hear the results?
Happy belated Father’s Day, Shaw. H was very pleasantly surprised with his gifts from S and D…all Led Zeppelin related. It’s amazing how generous a steady income can make your offspring!</p>

<p>Sending the good thoughts to your S, moda.
Shaw that was such a nice tribute from your S. Woody your prior post made me tear up. Both lovely for Father’s Day. </p>

<p>Moda…Great news that your S hit the submit button! Wishing you patience and calm as he waits for the interview process. I know several friends who used a student/doctor forum to find out info on interviews and other info throughout the process. I believe it was the student doctor network??? It has threads for each individual medical school. </p>

<p>oregon…So excited for your S! He has faced lots of obstacles and how wonderful that he will be graduating this weekend! Hooray!</p>

<p>D2 had her final dress fitting yesterday. She looked beautiful. Her future MIL and I went so we could learn how to lace the back of her dress and bustle the train after the ceremony. Four more weeks!</p>

<p>Moda – Oh yes, “survival of the fittest;” I get it, but don’t necessarily want to watch it in process! And honestly, I’m OK with S not talking to me, as long as he talks to someone – which I did put in the email. Great news on the med school applications – yes, what is the time frame for hearing results?</p>

<p>NMinn – I remember on my wedding dress that the ties for bustling the train were all color coded. I had bridesmaids and a grad school friend in the ladies room with me tying up everything.</p>

<p>WOW…Wedding count down - it really does fly by and then before you know it, the big day will be here. Did I miss where you found a dress NMN?</p>

<p>As for med school apps, I guess the way it works is that it takes like 4-6 weeks for the AMCAS to ‘verify’ once they get the transcript - and at least his transcript was “already attached” because he had done that already. Then, assuming he didn’t miss anything, the schools will send him secondaries, and from what I understand, everyone pretty much gets the “invitation” to submit secondaries. Some are really short and others, not so much. Basically, it’s like the supplemental app in addition to common app and an additional fee. Some school review the AMCAS application before they ask for secondaries, but most often they just get another bite of your wallet, thank you very much for playing. </p>

<p>S’s school has a committee that puts together a packet with all your recs, plus their recommendation, which is confidential. In addition to your recs, the committee has you interview with three other professors on the committee (he did that between fall and over winter). But you have let the committee know when you get requests for secondaries and they’ll put your file in line. But not until you submit your first secondary will they put together the entire dossier for online access to Med Schools.</p>

<p>Most schools start interviewing pretty quickly and most (except for the usual suspects ivies etc) are rolling admissions, so of all the things in applying of which you have no control, getting things done early is clearly to your advantage. Apparently a lot of schools will let you know if you’re accepted or rejected within two-three weeks post interview. Frankly, while everyone asking for secondaries kinda bites, I think S will benefit from his application being considered in total vs making an initial finding on his general app unless of course they did it just solely on the numbers… which according to the charts and grafts most of his schools fall in the “Go For It” category (which is only one off the best which is “High Chance” of which is has just two or three). </p>

<p>Most of that is that his GPA is off by about .2 for him to break into the next category. So even with what I considered great grades overall, just one C freshman year gave his GPA a hit overall, and getting B’s in Calc II and the prereq Ecology didn’t help the science gpa either. Realized he got a lot more A- than pure A-s. So, I will hope his undergrad gives him even a modicum of a bump over coming from the big state school or equiv AND they might take a gander at what he was taking all at the same time to have taken so many sciences/genetics. Anyway… I imagine the verification process is currently swamped, and they do some sort of conversion process too so everyone’s GPA is on some sort of “equal footing.”</p>

<p>NMN - He is on that forum that you mentioned, and has been since sometime before the MCAT. He also reads a few others apparently. Mostly I stumble upon them when I ask google things like, “How long to get verified” or Harvard Med School Secondary. :slight_smile: Yes, send him the good vibes. He is not enjoying his job, finds it somewhat morally bankrupt (whereas they don’t really consider how valuable something will be to serve the market but how valuable it is in purely making money - and we wonder why greed is a bad thing). But too, there are things that were promised in his job description and culture of the company overall that are changing due to the growth. Whereas it used to be one large common group, they are now setting up seperate leadership and team building things just for the senior associates. He thought that was a huge plus of the job when he took it. He doing well apparently, but it;s not very challenging and he’s getting bored… which will only be hastened if he doesn’t have this other stuff to look forward too or feed off of.</p>

<p>YIKES!! Sorry this is so very long! But let me ask you this… If I know a person associated with a med school, do I let them know S has submitted an application?</p>

<p>mod–yes. If you have a good relationship giving a heads up is OK. Nothing more than that. If your S has friends or relatives at a med school right now that person can go and talk with the admission person and give a heads up.
It might not make any difference but it is acceptable.
I feel for you as have gone through this part. I think from what you have shared that your S will be given interviews.
As for what most schools are looking for–it has changed the last few years from solid acedemics to an overall profile.
Many of the changes has come from the thrust to have doctors with world/global experiences and a good bedside manner (less law suits). Our state school’s interview includes a series of rooms where the candidate goes in and has different hands on challenges with actor patients but also challenges that prove that you have common sense or that you can think on your feet.
It is a long and expensive process. DIL is ready to submit her applications. She is so hopeful. It is a tough time for everyone.
D has just begun her rotations. Started with psych and landed on a little kids unit. Think 8 year old and younger mental illness.
The thing that gets me the most is that Med school is soooo expensive and yet the country expects a shortage of docs soon. Makes no sense.</p>

<p>S did graduate and I appreciated all of your lovely and supportive comments. It was a nice weekend and he was pleased–esp. with his new phone (his was secondhand and 6 years old!) and 6 months of free service from us.
G’son is a definite 2 1/4 year old and while a lovely and easy kid it made me just a little happy when he screamed “NO” and had a little fit. S soooo deserves this. :)</p>

<p>Moda…I still haven’t decided on a dress! Can you believe it!!!</p>

<p>H and I knew several students who have applied for med school the past few years. Our neighbor boy graduated last May and had a 3.9+ GPA from a small private school and a 37 MCAT score. He was invited to interview at Johns Hopkins, Northwestern, U of MN, U of Colorado, U of Iowa and one more that I can’t remember. He had been to Ghana for volunteer work, worked at his college lab and also at the University of Iowa and was a CNP and worked at a local nursing home. Also worked as a Spanish translator at the local free clinic. Nice kid. He was waitlisted at U of MN and offered a spot at Northwestern and Iowa. He chose Iowa and loves it. I know he applied to many schools including several Ivies and Mayo. Some schools just ignored the applications and some sent rejection letters. He couldn’t figure out what schools were looking for. D2’s friend who didn’t get any interviews last year reapplied and was accepted at U of Iowa this year and another neighbor boy was accepted at the U of MN on his second year of applying. The cost to apply to the schools and then travel for the interviews was Crazy! I am sending positive thoughts and fairy dust for him! :wink: And yes…mention it to people who can network for him. </p>

<p>Sending fairy dust to you as well, NM. I hate having to find just the right outfit. It sounds that you have a few choices?</p>

<p>Agree about the Med app. process. D applied to a school that send her a rejection letter and thought it was because her stats were higher than their typical applicant and that she would not choose them even if they offered her a spot. The truth was that she probably would not have once she thought about it.
There are waves of committee meetings and interviews being offered. I cannot remember how that goes but the candidate is against different applicants at different times. No doubt your S knows how this works.
The thing to rember is that he only needs one school and he is in. Long and anxiety ridden and expensive process.
Fairy dust sent his way. And some for you!</p>

<p>H and I meet for what is to be the last time about his pension. We are not on the same page. I trust myself more than I trust his process. I ask the micro questions while he is a macro guy. I think I am going to ask for one more week. Poor pension lady is going to hate me. Making an irrivocable choice is so difficult.</p>

<p>Reading NMN’s post is something I could never share with S. And now is time for a small rant - even if it doesn’t change the game.</p>

<p>The only real time S has traveled abroad of “late” is his junior year in HS when my sister took him to Africa and they went on a day visit to a tribe. We have not had the income to afford to send him to “experiences” because we paid full boat tuition and it was on him to earn money to have a life during the school year. He has no school debt whatsoever. He TA’d for three different classes, worked in two labs, heading one up his senior year and worked at a world class research facility for two summers overseeing 40 students at the same time. Also at his top CLA (#3/#4) his major almost made it impossible to do study abroad because it is a very tight track and they won’t accept transferred science credits as counting towards a major - (a friend of his at Amherst took almost all his hard sciences at the local U over the summers to transfer and was an econ major because he played hockey.) His personal statement points to his creativity as impetus for studying medicine and his transcript bears that out as a Molecular Biology Biochemistry major, Middle Eastern History major with a lot of Art classes. Kind of a renaissance man in that regard.</p>

<p>Let’s just say that the middle class is shrinking and gets absolute no “advantage” in any situation whatsoever, shrinking their opportunities even further. If either me or H were doctors/surgeons we’d have more connection and likely more opportunity for S to shadow etc, not to mention perhaps our income. If we were poor or URM, he’d have the opportunities of the disadvantaged etc. But being a white boy from a middle class family who has always valued education works against him in many ways. Unlike a few of the silver spooned, he had to earn his way but assumptions will undoubtedly be made of advantage. This is not to say he doesn’t have plenty of them. But it is to say that he did not, for example, ever pay for a prep class for any kind of testing, nor did we “afford” to send him to some 3rd world country for exposure to the disenfranchised. Frankly, he saw plenty of disenfranchised by working in the inner city county ER. </p>

<p>He does however likely have great recs, inclusive of one from his school’s president. I think he will say that S is a completely engaging young man who he felt proud to have representing his school to donors, trustees, and students. But who really knows. But I guess he should think of what else he’ll want to do if he doesn’t get in somewhere… because he has been saving for this whole med school application process but will unlikely have the funds to do it all over again and I need to start double duty saving for retirement!!</p>

<p>Moda, I’m sure you are correct that many of our children are in the situation of getting no advantage in admissions either due to excessive wealth or fame or to poverty/URM-hood. That means that there are fewer slots for them and undoubtedly assumptions about the advantages they have had. [And relative to some but not others of the hooked groups, advantages like a stable family and relatively reliable income and safe home are real]. </p>

<p>As an illustration, at ShawSon’s alma mater, the Class of 2017 is composed of: 33% Varsity Athletes, 25% URM, 18% First Generation College, 10% Legacy and 10% International (there will likely be some overlap among the categories). Someone told us it was the hardest school in the country to get into if you weren’t legacy, athlete, or URM. </p>

<p>Anyway, the implication is that non-hooked kids need to raise their game higher than where it was before because fewer will get the opportunities. </p>

<p>This isn’t about med school or college per se but my sense is that that people are overly relaxed about the world that is coming. An article in workintelligent.ly says the following: “Oxford researchers Carl Benedikt Frey and Michael Osborne predicted last year that 47 percent of jobs in the US could be eliminated because of computerized automation. And McKinsey says that by 2025, productivity gains in “knowledge work” sectors, typically administrative and professional services, could account for 40 per cent of all the current jobs in those areas. But like other innovation cycles throughout history, new jobs will emerge that we can’t even imagine today.” I suspect some of the low-touch specialties in medicine could be dramatically reduced by technology as well. Learning how to think and learning how to learn/pick up skills that will become needed will be vital to being employed. </p>

<p>one way I decided to join here was my dissatisfaction with the admissions process. I get your frustration. My daughter once felt frustrated because she felt she needed to have cured cancer to get into certain schools being a white female from the the northeast. A bit of an exaggeration but some truth to it. One of the reasons that Nurse practitionerr is a good job is that there are fewer docs, and the trend is for them to specialize. So NPs will do primary care. Its not the job it once was with health care reform, malpractice, etc and not popular here but most docs hate Obamacare. College in any form costs so much. My Ds got merit scholarships but we qualified for zero, and they are debt free.
Just got back from Bermuda. We had a great time, very relaxing and beautiful. It was our 30th. H booked a special dinner on the beach, with torches, etc… it was perfect weather</p>

<p>also main reason for posting, My D1 has posted on her FB for a job in DC anyone know of someone looking in DC?</p>

<p>@downtoearth‌, Is your D1 looking for a job or does she have a job that she is looking to fill?</p>

<p>Per your previous post, that is why I am pleased that ShawD is becoming an NP. Increasing demand, harder to outsource or replace with technology.</p>

<p>looking to fill a post</p>

<p>Do med schools vary quite a lot in terms of what is requested in the way of recommendations? I was surprised to see how much dental schools varied (3 any, 2 science profs +1 dentist, 2 in your major +1 science +1 dentist, 1 chem + 1 bio + 1 dentist, none, 1 dentist you’ve shadowed for 30+ hours + science prof + supervisor for community volunteer work. Several ask for a personal reference.) It sounds simple to have the committee recommendation sent it, but it ended up being more complicated than that. (Though I gather the young man I know is lucky…if he was in Canada, the dental admissions test includes a hands-on chalk carving segment!) </p>