<p>There has been a distribution for the majority of the estate and there are two things left to close. Sis is focused on about $4000 worth of books my mother gave my brother. Actually, she gave him $10,000 and he has kept $4000 worth and had the others returned to the estate. Sis has caused more than $800 in lawyers fees in just 48 hours and other sibs want her off the planet or at least get her to resign. One sib has offered her $10,000 to go away. Permanetly I think. This is the Sis I have never gotton along with and just stay away from. So 37 emails since Tuesday. The problem is that it was not written in the will but the books were given to him two years propr to her death.</p>
<p>NM–hoping today is a better day for your D.</p>
<p>kmc–the beauty in my passive agressive behavior is that I am consistent and they cannot get to me. In about 600 emails I have only responded 2-3 times because I had to answer a direct question. Yes, I am the middle kid of 5 and a people pleaser/non fighter. My H probably would not agree with that ; .</p>
<p>oregon, sorry you are going through this. I’d try to stay out of it too . If your mom gave the books to your brother 2 years before her death, how is that even considered to be part of the estate? My MIL gave away tons of stuff to each of her kids in the last 10 years or so of her life- some of it antique furniture, collectibles, etc. Once given, it belonged to the kid who she gave it to (there were 3 kids altogether including my husband). There was no question in any of our minds that these were gifts from her and it was up to her how she wanted to distribute things (and she did seem to make an effort to be fair about things and none of the siblings disputed anything). It is unfortunate you have one sibling who is causing trouble. Good luck!</p>
<p>My mother had only three accounts - divided by four. We split the jewelry by picking our favorites, choosing to sell some and others put in a box for some division later. But the truth is, it wasn’t much of an estate and they set it up in trust that her husband will remain in the house as long as he wants. When he passes or sells, we get the proceeds. This was done specifically so we couldn’t evict him and his kids couldn’t evict her.</p>
<p>Having H here is a blessing and a curse. He’s actually quite helpful, but he also keeps asking what’s for lunch or dinner, and we have a queen bed and he snores. He goes back on near the end of the month for a few days and then again in mid august. Hopefully by then we’ll have a clearer idea of where we’re moving.</p>
<p>D1 sent pictures of her classroom with tiny furniture. She is bursting with excitement. Plus, there is a pk coach for the district since it’s new to the public realm who will help develop curriculum to transition to Kindergarten throughout the year. D2 started a photo blog. Best thing I ever did was put H in charge… he spent most of yesterday figuring out how to wire her money and two days last week fixing her phone so it would work there.</p>
<p>NMN - I am so sorry about D2!! I hope the stones pass soon, but truth is it’s better that it happened now vs on their honeymoon OR while taking exams!!! But still what a pain.</p>
<p>My sister has MS and was diagnosed last week with a condition that will eventually have her hands curled into a claw. Working with her insurance company to pay for a treatment that is like 10K a shot, so my other sister tells me. I feel really lucky some days… </p>
<p>Moda, So sorry to hear about your sister. And hope D2 improves very soon, NM!</p>
<p>My kids moved in together yesterday (with one other guy) . They helped each other move. I’m looking forward to seeing their new place (have seen it from the outside only) and exploring their new neighborhood more.</p>
<p>S1’s last day at work is today. He has been with the same employer since he graduated 5 years ago and likes his coworkers so I’m guessing today will be rough. He and his coworkers went out together last night as a farewell. He goes to Palo Alto on Sunday for three weeks of training , then returns to the DC area for his new job. He has a friend from college in San Francisco and he’s hoping to have a chance to see him while he’s out that way. S2 luckily recovered fairly quickly from mono but the doctor told him he should take it easy for another month. </p>
<p>My mother loved to give things away and then take them back. She gave me her opal ring and then asked for it back and even put it in the will. Sis got it from mother and instisted it was hers. I don’t like it anyway so I just asked for $1000 to make it good and kept a little diamond watch that was in the will for Sis that had been given to me a decade ago. Mother is sitting somewhere laughing herself silly as this is the kind of stuff she created and thrived on sadly. So mother gave my brother the books and even has witnesses but then told Sis that they were not his to keep. </p>
<p>I am spending too much time trying to get an account set up on the social security site. They won’t let me and then they “do not have anyone to answer my call” (!) and then they say they will call back and that the average wait is 15 for a call back. That was two hours ago. I have TYY phone that I never use (free from the state and at times very useful) so need to get it set up again as I just bet they will answer when I call on that phone with the captioning service. I miss the paper statements. You can still get them but now I just want to get it set up on line.</p>
<p>Fun to hear about your D Mod!
Sevmom how nice that your kids enjoy each other.</p>
<p>We said goodbye to one of our dogs on Monday. He was 14 and had been declining for quite some time, but it’s always hard to know if it’s time. Even though we’ve been through this before, it’s still difficult. I keep expecting to see him in the usual spots in the house where he hung out.</p>
<p>Oh Nm hope she feels better soon, this should be a happy time for her. Moda your sister’s illness sounds awful!
Oregon so glad you are not one of them, it seems like there are more of them than ever. Hate drama.
Got in to grad school today, I think I am nuts…</p>
<p>Wow! dt congrats! I think getting into grad school is very dramatic!
cq sorry about your dog. I still miss my dog from 20 years ago.
No news from the family which is weird.
Social Security did call after 3 hours and a very helpful person explained that I am locked out of making an account because my answers do not match the credit reports answers and this happens all the time. Now I have to go in person.</p>
<p>CQ, hugs. Kudos, DTE!
Oregon, I think we should just set up an auto response on your email…I’ve long fantasized about setting up the following auto response on my email:</p>
<p>"Greetings. Your email has been scanned and rejected by the recipient as too ludicrous and time-wasting to warrant valued attention. You may resubmit your email for consideration at some future point by meeting the following criteria:</p>
<ol>
<li>It contains positive or relevant information that in some way affects or engages the recipient</li>
<li>You have fully read, fully understand, and are responding germanely to other relevant and historic emails in the chain of communication
And</li>
<li>It is not written on your phone while driving ;)"</li>
</ol>
<p>DTE, congratulations. When do you start? At ShawD’s school?</p>
<p>Oregon, no news is probably good news. Good that SS was helpful. </p>
<p>Moda, very sorry about your sister. </p>
<p>I feel like I have been at home for a while, though somehow in the middle of this, I was in London briefly. We had a great weekend in Martha’s Vineyard the weekend before last. Upcomin, Nantucket and then the travel starts. Germany once or twice in July. Then Toronto, Croatia, Prague, DC, then Germany again. </p>
<p>When will you be in Prague, shaw? My family and I will be there in about 2 weeks.
Went back and re-read a few posts…that’s very sad about your sister, moda.
Sev- very cool that your S’s will be rooming together.
When did the post #'s reappear?</p>
<p>yes Shaw, at Shaw D school. I think I am nuts but I am completely drawn this way, so its a leap of faith.
Oregon it is so hard to be the reasonable one, thank goodness you are but … I suggested to my older brother that my sister get the majority of anything my mom has left, she is there for her all the time(live in the same location) and has the least. He was adamant he get his share, I simply made the comment in passing and I said I wouldn’t mind if my mother made this decision. He has asked my sister how much my mom has so he can plan his retirement. It disgusts me. I say spend it all and enjoy.your life mom.
Kmc that is perfect!
Cq how does D like the job? My dog will be 12 this September, just not looking forward to the inevitable.Dont tell me animals don’t have souls, theirs are purer than humans I say. </p>
<p>Moda, so sorry about your sister’s illness. I think most of us are able to just go through our lives, knowing that something will get us in the end, but it’s hard to be able to “see” the bleak picture in advance.</p>
<p>DTE, grad school! I’m so impressed. I just don’t think my brain could handle it any more.</p>
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<p>The security questions that the credit card and other companies ask never relate to me. I have traced it to a woman who, 17 years after I married my current husband, married someone with the last name as my ex husband and was born in the same month and year as me. Her first name is similar but not idential to mine. One time I wrote down all the addresses the questions asked me about and found “her” in a trailer park in Florida. I traced the company that “writes” the security questions and left about 10 voice mail messages for a guy there and (of course) never received a response.</p>
<p>Well, today H and Son are traveling up to his college town (less than an hour away) to try to find an apartment. Very very late, Son procrastinated, I took the position that he and H had loads more time than me, which puts Son on course for a roach infested but expensive apartment. I have done hours of research at work, narrowed it down to the least horrible options, tabbed printouts that contained addresses and phone numbers, etc. They were bickering when I left the house, no clue how to go about the process, even though I have spoon fed them. I just can’t take another day off of work.</p>
<p>Third post in a row…feeling lonely. Now that Son has an apartment, it is starting to sink in that I have two to move into college within about a week’s time. But that’s all six weeks away, so plenty of time to deal with bedding, etc. It’s so difficult to get either one of them to focus and I just can’t stand the thought of getting on one of those “what do they need to bring to college?” threads. That may have been fun in 2009 but 5 years hence, not so much. </p>
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