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<p>In part, yes. She has decided that no one likes her…but she has stopped doing anything about her appearance. May be a backlash due to the school she attends. (A middle school full of girls who do a LOT about their appearance.) I strongly suggested that he have his D talk to someone (like a CSW).</p>
<p>Just leaving the west coast after 2.5 days helping ShawSon’s set up and visiting a couple of friends/business folks. He was really looking dead when we got there. He gets anxious before each new school but really he was allergic to mold in carpets and dust mites and pollen. Mama bear ShawWife sprung into action. Trips to ikea and BB&B. Vacuuming, dust mite covers, hepa filter, … . New sheets and blanket. Food from costco and trader joes. I helped him hook into their network – really hard – and course selection. It all made a big difference. He is really in go mode now. </p>
<p>We met some old friends who moved a few years ago from our town to a houseboat at a great Peruvian restaurantone night. Last night we had dinner with a young woman who we met at renaissance weekend through these same friends. She is probably 10 years older than ShawSon, bright, and an absolutely fascinating life story. She’s making outdoor plans with ShawSon – he is planning to do a backpacking trip in Yosemite this fall. She is magnetically beautiful – so good looking that males and females have a hard time taking their eyes off her – and not at all stuck up. I was giving her a little career guidance after ShawSon left for his latest party event. </p>
<p>He has been going to every social event and orientation he can go to and had made a rule to get together within 24 hours with anyone he liked. He is as directed socially as he is professionally. Funny. </p>
<p>Sounds like a good launch for ShawSon!</p>
<p>I’ve come down with something - sore throat, congestion, aches and chills. I was just filling out a wellness profile at work and noticed I had no sick days last year. Of course it’s the weekend so no sick days yet this year!</p>
<p>Hope everyone else has a good weekend!</p>
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<p>Shaw, do you think that either you or ShawWife instilled that direction and drive into your son, or if it is in his DNA? (Nurture vs. nature?)</p>
<p>Back home until Thursday. I am so behind on cleaning and grocery shopping! H and I went to a barn wedding on Saturday. It was very nice and the mother of the bride made so many cute decorations (burlap and lace table runners, wooden signs and wood bases for flower vases to set on tables. I made the seating chart for her on my computer using a digital chalkboard background. We had it printed poster size and sat it on an old fashioned easel. missy…I thought of you and laughed out loud during the reception. The bride and groom both graduated from Carleton College and many of their friends were in attendance. When we were on the dance floor it was very obvious that many of the young women did not believe in shaving their under arms or legs. It was definitely a topic of conversation with the “older” guests.</p>
<p>I think he got ambition and drive from both of us and especially me. But the focus and rules like that continues with the intensity is his. We gave up creating incentives for things because he would figure out creative ways to game whatever systems we made up so that he could succeed by whatever definition we created for success. </p>
<p>LOL! I hope I’m not the person everyone thinks of from now on when they see unshaven women!</p>
<p>Too funny missy! 
I wondered if the culture of the college was such that all of these young women adopted a shave free attitude. 
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<p>I am a Blacklist fan and was glued to the TV last night. I just love William Spader! </p>
<p>Why do we associate unshaven legs with MP? I thought that would be a high crime in Texas (although I will say that my Texas experience has largely involved business meetings in Houston and a weekend wedding in Austin with the bride’s sorority sisters from UT Austin). </p>
<p>Oh, got it. The dad who decided to wage a fight over shaving. Seems like poor judgment to me. For me, the live-and-die issues were putting the effort in at school, drinking/drugs (which I assumed kids would do but wanted to make sure it was minimal experimentation and in a small way), and being a good person (couldn’t get ShawD to be that to ShawWife during adolescence but decided that was an unwinnable battle). Hair on legs? If she is a good kid and wants to do that, she’ll discover later that it is socially a little outside the norm but no harm done.</p>
<p>ShawSon had his first day of class. The program he is in is in its first year. It meshes three different departments and two separate ones had admit classes. The other department was much more organized – they had a week math crash course and told students what to take. ShawSon’s assumed they knew math but didn’t really give him advice even when he asked. He has to get let into two courses that he will need to complete his two degree programs on time. But, he was concerned that he was underprepared for two of the three courses he needed to take this quarter. He came back from one pretty comfortable that there was no problem. The other one, he is going to wait until the first problem set to see if he can handle it. It is a PhD level course in Computational and Mathematical Engineering. He’s done more advanced math in that area, but not with the computational/engineering slant.</p>
<p>Also, the magnetically beautiful young woman I mentioned is having dinner with ShawSon tonight. I suspect she’s just friendly but this is the third meeting they’ve had (one with us) in a week. And she is planning a backpacking trip (two I think) with him. It would be odd as she would be the most desirable of women – she’s very bright, articulate, interesting, super-enthusiastic, charming, and humble on top of startling good looks – and she’s probably 10 years older. ShawWife and I were wondering after the dinner why we’ve never heard about boyfriends. She’d have to beat guys away with a stick. She is a liberal member of a non-liberal religion. Could that be it?</p>
<p>Today is Bruce Springsteen’s 65th birthday.</p>
<p>I know that some of you will find this vastly amusing, but I just learned what pdf stands for. (I had actually never wondered what it stood for.)</p>
<p>Portable document format? Or does it have some other translation? I think it’s one of those things where it doesn’t matter at all if we know/don’t know what it stands for. </p>
<p>Yes, portable document format. </p>
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<p>Right. I was never even curious.</p>
<p>As the wife of someone who sings professionally, I am enjoying the lead up to the High Holy Days. H has reherasal every night, so I can stay at work and get caught up on things.</p>
<p>My hoarder husband has actually been getting rid of a few things. We donated zillions of crayons, loads of little scissors, construction paper, etc. to a Sunday School that wanted them. He took D’s left over drill team poster making supplies (including $$$ worth of glitter in the school colors) in to the drill team teacher. </p>
<p>I have kept a few things for the future grandchildren, but I was positive that I would never encourage grandkids or anyone else to get out the glitter! (I may still have some stuck to my shoes from the last glitter poster from 4 years ago!)</p>
<p>Im going back a few posts, but because S is working with a lot of tech as it relates to healthcare, he looks at it as an accessibility thing, especially to rural docs and patients, as well as basically a trend towards continuous care or at least consistent! So yes, it might be that you won’t need as many docs, but a friend who is a PA just admitted that sometimes you get so used to the bending towards routine issues that PA’s and RN’s can miss some pretty big flags of deeper disease. I also think as more people become insured and (hopefully) engage in more preventative care, the roles of PAs, RNs and Docs will continue to evolve. But I don’t think docs will ever make the kind of income they used to even though I think there is definitely a lack of good docs in a general way. Have you ever tried to get into a heart specialist? And my mom’s thoracic surgeon was like two months out for a consult unless critical or emergency, to say nothing of getting into certain cancer docs. S is interested in still very interested in the genetics of cancer… surprise surprise. I know he doesn’t specifically speak to a preference there however mostly because you just never know what will capture your passion and he is not yet willing to commit.</p>
<p>Went to a medium last week. Interesting doesn’t cover it. I am supposed to be “reinventing” myself any day now. Wait for it. :)</p>
<p>To Shave or not to Shave: I think it’s absolutely disgusting when parents play their kids against the other parent, especially in divorce and especially when teenagers. I can totally relate to ShawD and ShawW, but I also have some hindsight because I have one daughter close to 30! I admit I am sometimes jealous of the closeness she is building with my sister because of proximity (and sister is actually pretty fun), but mostly she assures me that even with D2 - this too will pass. This said… I will never understand the behavior to reject all social cues when feeling down on oneself. If we are sure she is not checking out or depressed (because honestly, if either of that is going on it could very well drugs are next) fine. But if it’s about getting her Dad to engage, even if negative, that’s something else. But I agree, parents should stop the cycle and agree that maybe she needs a therapist ad litem, just to give her an independent listener. Honestly, I have two different sets of friends that have done this and the only ones that end up hurting or seriously mess up (or both as is the case) are the kids. The retribution and guilt? Seems to me it’s not about ignoring the legs, which isn’t a battle I’d pick, unless this was symptom of something else. After seeing the progression of four years of this first hand this summer, I really think to do this to a child should be abuse, and criminally so. But then, you’d get parents suing each other for this too! It just makes me sad to be honest. </p>
<p>OK… working on the nook! My furniture arrived! I will be really sincere to say, I love the couch even while knowing it won’t be everyone’s taste in fabric… very big print, a little too much on the floral, even if for me, but once I get the rest of the room pulled together, I think it will be perfect. While I am working a little backward, I also am getting new floor put in - and I surprised myself there too! Went with a 12mm laminate board that they will glue for extra protection at the entry at at the porch. But it saved me about $1000 between labor and materials over engineered hardware, and real hardwood was outside my budget for the investment. While I want a little jewel of a place, I am not willing to sacrifice all other jewelry in my life. Also need to get the valance made. Also have a bid for a built-in bookshelf with bottom cabinets which may not happen immediately, but hopefully before next summer.</p>
<p>I am obviously still at the nook. I will be honest to say I am confused by H’s waffle on our housing situation at home despite his currently living in a hotel every other week! But I will be equally as honest to say I’ve decided I am perfectly content to stretch this fall as late as I can. It is absolutely gorgeous here this time of the year and I am getting the opportunity to spend a lot of time with my Aunt, who is is 73 and leads an excessively busy social life during the summer. She actually said to me yesterday… Sometimes it’s hard being so popular, and then giggled like a school girl. She is gracious and amazing, warm and kind… it’s no wonder she’s invited everywhere; she’s a delightfully delight of a guest.</p>
<p>PS… also been binge watching The Roosevelt’s on pbs online. Fascinating people and history… and clearing up years of chronological confusion!</p>
<p>Checking in to say a quick hi. Back from SF, had a nice time, but of course now slammed at work into the wee hours. This is getting old. Or maybe I resemble that remark…;)</p>
<p>I did get the book finished, though it still needs another deep clean. Mcson will be getting the “not deep cleaned” version for his birthday this weekend. He’s quite an editor though, so this may be the gift that keeps taking ;)</p>
<p>Moda, reinventing oneself can be very entertaining…I do it every day…reinventing myself as someone who has the energy to keep working :)</p>
<p>Do keep us posted on your adventure!</p>
<p>Crazy day today, but had to check in. Moda, on the couch, I’m glad you went for it. My upholstered family room chairs are becoming threadbare…and we sit in them a lot less frequently than the couches. I guess there’s no stopping the wear and tear short of putting those plastic covers on them. My point is, I’ve always made such conservative choices in upholstery, not wanting to tire of something. But now I’m thinking that things don’t necessarily last long enough to tire of them. So I’m happily imagining your couch.</p>
<p>The Girl Who Will Not Shave has other deeper issues, and this is, indeed, a sign of other things. Which makes it all the more baffling that the dad took a firm stand over the not shaving without dealing with the deeper issues. But enough of that. As someone who didn’t threaten younger D with not paying for college if she got a tattoo (contrary to the advice of several people), I certainly wouldn’t die on the hill of unshaven legs.</p>
<p>Kmc, glad you’re back and that you had a good time. And again, so impressed with your book.</p>
<p>Moda, do you feel like you need to reinvent yourself?</p>
<p>Yay to mpH for getting rid of things. I Freecycled all our “Art Cupboard” stuff after our first move. Usually I followed a “first come, first served” rule when giving stuff away, but for that I gave preference to teachers. The woman who took it all said she taught 2nd grade. Maybe she did; maybe she didn’t – but it made me feel better.</p>
<p>Glad to hear your trip went well, kmc. I’m also impressed with the whole book thing. </p>
<p>Moda – we watched The Roosevelts. Very interesting. I’ve also read a couple biographies of various family members. As for reinventing yourself – I sometimes feel as if I should be doing this, but since I have NO idea what that would look like, I do nothing. Re: decorating – definitely go for what you like. We ended up VERY conservative in the new house at the beach – partly because that’s what really fits the style of the house, and partly because H has no imagination, at least in that way. I wanted to go for a P-O-P of color with the throw pills, but he just couldn’t commit to that. Now that we’ve had pillows made, he, of course, is saying we should have gone for more color …</p>
<p>Over the next couple of weeks we’re doing a fair amount of running back and forth between the beach and Cambridge – starting with today. H has gone off in his car to a meeting in Worcester. MA. I’m leaving in a little while with the dog, AND a bookcase tied to the top of my SUV. I am very, very nervous about driving on the highway with this thing on my roof. H tied it on 6 ways to Sunday, but I’m having visions of the thing coming off. Why we couldn’t just spend the $$ on a simple U-Haul van to move it is beyond me. As it is, we need D and her bf to come to the condo this evening to help us get it off the roof and down to the lower level. (H has a whole pulley system in the garage/shed here at the beach, so he just hoisted up the bookcase and lowered it onto my car – that was the easy part.)</p>
<p>Kudos to you all for dumping stuff and especially for MP H for doing so. If we freecycled, we could outfit a fabric store and definitely a complete ribbon store just from our basement.</p>
<p>ShawSon has largely figured out how to deal with class selection. Now he will have to figure out how to manage the work. He had dinner last night with the beautiful one and they agreed to take a backpacking trip on one of the upcoming the weekends to the well-known place where ShawWife and I were engaged (ShawWife has no engagement ring but instead chose an engagement painting). </p>
<p>Good for ShawSon on figuring out class selection. D2 says that figuring out class selection is somewhat nerve wracking. I think she feels that she is being asked to commit before she knows what she really wants to do, or what lab she wants to work in. After a very difficult experience in the German lab last year, she wants to be sure to get the right PI. She has made good friends with the department secretary already, which strikes me as one great way to get inside info …</p>
<p>In the meantime, D1 loves teaching CS at a local private middle school – great colleagues, and she loves the students and is working in a very supportive environment. I suspect she may have found her niche, even her calling. We hope it can work out long term for her.</p>