<p>Incidentally, one of my least favorite things is managing employees. So I try to hire people who desperately wavy to succeed and can work without monitoring after the initial training, which takes 2-3 years. This has not always been a success. I try to hire cheery, highly loyal office personnel, who really try hard to help me and the firm succeed. </p>
<p>I wake up each day thinking about what I wish I were going to do for the day and not what I will do for the day if that makes sense. I wish I was going to be able to spend time doing what I want – instead I go to work. :)</p>
<p>Also my day starts at 4:30 so that I can be at the gym at 5. If I wait to go at night I don’t make it because once I get to work my day isn’t my own. I have to adjust based on what the highest priority thing of the day is. Not really my style as I’m more of a planner. I’m very good at what I do and if I were still an engineer would probably be up the ranks where I am but I chose to go management and my company rewards the engineers more than the people who manages them. No I’m not okay with that but it is what it is. I would love the ability to hire people who I like – however we have gone to a hiring style where a committee actually does the interviewing process and if the person is chosen and accepts then and only then it is determined where the person is going to work and who for so basically I get whom ever they chose to give me. Great – NOT. With the current cost cutting even when I go to England I get to fly coach. Yeah me!</p>
<p>I would like to be able to go to bed at later – currently I’m in bed no later than 9 and still find it difficult to get up at 4:30. My ideal would be to go to bed at 11 and get up around 7. Yes I need sleep. 9 hours would be even better! :)</p>
<p>Maybe I will feel differently when I retire but currently I would love to be able to do all the things that I would rather be doing then sitting in the basement (yes my office is in the basement) dealing with a bi-polar boss and a whiny workforce. 
</p>
<p>MP - once I"m ready I would love to work just 3 days a week but we’ll see if that is doable. Not sure how they would feel about that here. Currently I don’t know of anyone here that works less than 45 hours a week. That is just the norm.</p>
<p>Well, I haven’t ended any civil wars and, at my salary, I won’t be paying for fancy weddings but I really like my most aspects of my work, am fairly independent, have enough time off to travel and vacation, so I figure I can just keep truckin’ on…</p>
<p>One reason I have stayed at my job is that it is very intellectually stimulating. plus I love kids. It has always been a paradox for me as I don’t have the personality to work among such high strung people, (not the patients). I love to learn, I don’t want to work full time, but I like to work, and help people. I am not a particularly crafty person. Who knows I am be telling you I have decided to retire, but I would have to do something stimulating.
NM hope your husband is doing well. </p>
<p>RM, I think for many people the dread of retirement is a mix of enjoying their work and fearing boredom I know in my own case I need an external structure or deadline to motivate me…and to “feel productive.” Left to my own devices, a day can just slide away on me.</p>
<p>During my brief sojourn as a SAHM – technically a year in Canada – I actually took freelance assignments to stay sane. My h-at-the-time thought I was nuts, but part of my idea of self seemed connected to the mere act of work. In addition to the freelance articles, I even took an independent consultant gig, dong a deparmental audit for a company that was reinventing its marketing department.</p>
<p>And I was was of those “make-your-own-baby-food-use-cloth-diapers” type so it wasn’t that there wasn’t any domestic industry to be had because I made it for myself Still, I needed that outside, catalytic force somehow.</p>
<p>In my case, its not retirement I crave. Its the “wow” day – “work optional wealth” I don’t want to stop working, but I don’t want my work to be “necessary” either Meaning, I’d prefer to only engage in assignments I want, for people I think I like. I generally try to do that now, started that a while ago, but I’m not there yet It would likely be different if I hadn’t career-hopped so much when younger…I’ve been a partner in this company 13 years now and its taken that long to build a base, albeit a shifting base, of clients I generally like working for. If I had another decade in, I might have the kind of freedom I imagine I want right now, but that too might be an illusion :)</p>
<p>The other phenom I’ve noticed is that for people like mch, for whom overwork is the norm, having free time can be a bit jarring For years even before me, his work consumed him to a place where he’s generally outsourced everything else – eg lawn, mechanical, home repairs, puttering. I’m not a lot different in that I too have hired help (eg cleaning woman) but I try harder to be odd-job independent…eg painting the house, getting a chainsaw to clear my trail when a tree’s down up in the woods, maintaining the chemistry on the pool, etc. On one hand its a PITA when I’m busy, but on the other, it forces me to have a little more balance between the physical and cerebral. I work out a lot of stuff mentally when I’m chopping up a tree 
I also do it because I hope to remain able to live independently for a long time, and economically if I have to :)</p>
<p>Mch’s aunt is a sad case. She was very used to people doing things for her. At 83, she’s quite stubborn about keeping her home, but completely unable to manage it. She hasn’t opened the pool I think since the day her husband left her 15 years ago…because she didn’t know how and couldn’t afford to. I could have cleaned it up for her and gotten it into working condition, but mch’s dad insists that would exacerbate things because she will not maintain it. She lives a few hours away, so she’d be on her own if I did ;)</p>
<p>Mch’s father, on the other hand, at 85 (almost 86) was up in the tree sawing off a limb the other day, despite our warnings He doesn’t sit around and wait for folks to do things for him, and sometimes I wish he would…but ya gotta love his spirit! (He also didn’t retire until 80, when the church basically made him leave…and he still does weddings, funerals, and fill-in work.) He says he hates retirement. Go figure.</p>
<p>I’ve actually long thought that instead of social security as we have it now, we should ave cooked up a scheme where around 60, you join the board of elders, receive a governmental stipend generous enough for sustenance, and then work part time civicly in whatever your area of contribution is. Eg. Have a percentage of al publicly funded positions be “unpaid” elders…in social work, teaching, urban planning, law enforcement, governance. I think in this way our elders would derive enjoyment from status and engagement and society would benefit from legacy wisdom.</p>
<p>Not to mention, it might make it more cost-effective to both operate a society AND have something of a social safety net. Madcap, I know ;)</p>
<p>Yeah DTE and I may be here forever. I don’t know what the future holds. We are in a financial place where it looks like we can retire within the next 5 years but who knows what is coming. We are setting up for an income after retirement. We hold D’s mortgage now and hope to hold S’s if we can figure out how to do that. Will at least be some $'s coming in after retirement. :)</p>
<p>Part of me is just over always being on a rushed schedule where no matter what I can’t make everyone happy and it’s a constant pull that I need to leave work at a certain time so that I can do everything at home and get to bed early enough to get up the next day. Just seems lately like a constant struggle to make it all flow. I know that when the kids were young that I did more and still managed so not sure why it’s such a struggle now other than I’m older and probably slower… Getting older is not all it’s cracked up to be to some degree.</p>
<p>I wish I had enough vacation. 3 weeks / year is just not enough in my book.</p>
<p>We may have a fancy wedding to pay for. Will see what D does in the future. She is careful and has only been with her BF for a couple of years so far so I don’t see that happening for another couple of years anyway.</p>
<p>Moda, despite my long ramble/whimsy I have not forgotten to do my little mojo dance for ModaSon’s interview. Just so you know the universe has your back ;)</p>
<p>Thanks KCM and all- When S landed in town, H took him to buy a new shirt and a new belt last night and he also got a haircut in prep for his day today. S said the day starts at 9am. Hoping for a great day for him!! I gave H a card to take home and give him. It’s a new yorker cartoon with two rabbits (father/son) sitting at a train station and it says… “your Mom wanted me to give this to you for good luck - it’s her foot.” I don’t know why I found it so funny, but I did. Hope he thinks so too!!</p>
<p>I also like the intellectual stimulation at work. Ideally I would work 3-4 days a week , but a 5 day, 40 hour workweek is a slow week for me right now. I have plenty of vacation, but would like to be able to not be restricted so much by deadlines (i.e. missing my 40 year HS reunion last weekend because it is year end at work). I spent 10+ years as a SAHM so having that break from the business world might also be why I am not really ready to retire. I wish I enjoyed cooking and other domestic pursuits (I do in theory), but I really don’t. </p>
<p>I might have posted about my empty nester “list”. So far I have started going to yoga (1x/ week) and am back on the treadmill. Went hiking 2 Sundays ago and that was the most fun that I have had in awhile and would like to do more. It’s supposed to rain all weekend so I am looking for something fun to do on Sunday. </p>
<p>Thinking of modaSon. </p>
<p>Continuing to pray for boysx3.</p>
<p>PS - after one “fancy” wedding, I am doubtful D2 will want one!</p>
<p>Moda - Will be thinking of your S today. Wishing him the best!!!</p>
<p>Actually knowing my D she will probably just want something small but we will see…</p>
<p>Tonight H and I are going to dinner and a movie. I can’t remember the last time we went out to a movie. Tomorrow laundry, grocery shopping and clean the house – doesn’t that sound like fun! If I manage to get all of that done then it will be either work on the favors for the shower, address the shower invites, or work on the baby blanket that I’m knitting. I also need to make an appearance at the gym as I couldn’t manage to get up this morning so need to get some exercise in. Sunday I’m hopeful that it will be either working on the quilt that I’m making or more shower stuff. I do need to find some time to clean up the plant buckets out side and start putting stuff away but we will see how I manage to get to it all. :)</p>
<p>I am a bit anxious about what will happen when H retires. After being a SAHM for 25 years I have a routine that I really enjoy and H thinks we should change things up and be together all of the time. I like my independence! When the girls were in school I was heavily involved in school activities. Now I always have a project to keep me busy…showers, weddings, remodels and construction, etc. I am rarely home but there are days I just like to sit and read a book. I am in two book clubs, a scrapbooking group, and play Bunco and cards every month. I am the one who finds workers and schedules all household maintenance. I am the one who sets our social schedule and organizes H’s work entertainment. I love to travel but H not so much. It will definitely be an adjustment!</p>
<p>H seems to have turned the corner with his back surgery. Wednesday was just awful and yesterday so much better! I got him out for a small walk in the sun and it went well. Hoping he can go a bit further today. </p>
<p>D1 is off for a weekend in Ohio with old friends. The trip was planned over the summer and she is excited to be away. Her week has not been great, however. Her car needed some unexpected repairs and then she got a flat tire on her way home from the repair place. The mechanic had told her her tires were really bad and now she has to get all new tires. $$$! She also has a young man who is interested in dating her. He just sent a beautiful flower arrangement that I will definitely enjoy while she is out of town. ;)</p>
<p>H and I have a wedding to attend on Saturday. Not sure if he will make it.</p>
<p>Moda…many good thoughts, prayers and fairy dust headed Modason’s way today! Good luck!</p>
<p>Sending major vibes for Modason!</p>
<p>My H has a ton of hobbies as well that don’t involve my hobbies. Can’t really see him knitting or sewing so I think we will each basically go our own ways and do our own things. That is how our weekends typically work although we do try to get eat lunch together.</p>
<p>I would also love to take up spinning my own yarn. That takes time however that currently I don’t have. One of my friends who is “retired” does hers. I use the retired term loosely as she watches her D’s 3 boys. She was somewhat looking forward to #2 being in all day K this school year but then her D had another one so she has another little one to watch. I think she is busy!</p>
<p>RM…I have a sister in PA who has a degree in chemical engineering. When she turned 50 she quit her job and bought a yarn shop. She spins her own yarn. She knits and crochets all of the time.</p>
<p>Would love to see your shower crafts when you finish! I know they will be darling!</p>
<p>H is building a cradle. I have a fear that he is going to be done before I am. I’ll take some photos and post if I can figure out how. Favors are kitchen towels rolled to look like cupcakes. They actually are looking fairly nice.</p>
<p>Sending good inverview vibes to Moda Son.</p>
<p>I decided to say yes to every business development opportunity this week. After returning home late Monday night from visiting my mother, I had a breakfast and a lunch Tuesday, a dinner Wednesday, and a breafast, a lunch and a dinner yesterday. My introverted little self is numb and my blood sugar feels off. </p>
<p>Some of the events were enjoyable and provided good info and contacts. Others, however…okay, I will readily admit that I am a “reverse snob.” I truly don’t hold people’s wealth or status against them, but sitting in a palatial house with the hostess wearing a diamond that must have been 5 karats, hearing about how she and her H are building a bigger house and isn’t that funny because eveyone else is downsizing, it just made me feel very insincere to join the others in expressing sympathy that her home in Cabo sustained hurricane damage, esp. on the day the local Ebola patient had passed away.</p>
<p>I have a friend who has a good rule…you can only complain about various first world problems (or in my hostess’s case, Top .01 % problems) if everyone in the group could foreseeably have the same problem. For example, my friend was able to complain to me about re-tiling her hot tub because she knew I have a hot tub. Good rule of thumb.</p>
<p>But perhaps only a good rule of thumb IRL, because Moda, I really do enjoy hearing about the Nook and NM, I loved hearing about your remodling the lake house.</p>
<p>Missy - that is definitely a good rule of thumb! This summer, on an absolutely gorgeous day, there was a snafu in communication where I thought we were taking out a friend’s boat (an old Chris Craft cruiser) for the day vs my family’s one. She thought the opposite. We both showed up boatless, and decided that if this was the worst problem we had to solve that day, we had no problems. Ended up on the path of easy and took a boat on a buoy called "just loafin’ which is their “kid” boat - like other people have “kid” cars. </p>
<p>And while I love the nook and fixing it up - even though the kitchen is now made to look only worse comparatively - but I still have most of my memories and belongings in storage with no short view to put it anywhere in my hometown. My H is mostly traveling to and from a hotel close to the office when not here with me. This also leaves no where for D2 to come “home” to unless it’s here, which surely won’t be good for a holiday job search. So… technically, that IS a problem. But I definitely feel fortunate enough to have another place to call home in a place that I absolutely love (that now has a comfortable place to sit down AND a TV in which I can at least watch Hulu and Netflix in the bedroom.</p>
<p>But I totally get the reverse snob thing. Not only do I find some of those conversations mind numbingly dull, I find them completely devoid of what is required to build real friendships; It’s all very superficial. But it’s also true that just because you’re not on food stamps doesn’t mean your problems aren’t valid… so yep… I like the rule of thumb.</p>
<p>H’s uncle who was a college professor with a hobby in ceramics turned that hobby into a selling proposition. Combine that with his wife’s love of gardening, and you have a guy who sells everything he makes and a fully laid table to provide sustenance (and a reduced grocery bill)! As they say, when there’s a will… </p>
<p>(H send me a picture of S from this morning… said he looked confident and felt great in his new suit. The pic he sent was horrible, but agree he looked confident. )</p>