Parents of the HS Class of 2009 (Part 1)

<p>Sorry to hear about the WL, Moda. I hope he gets better news from SF.</p>

<p>Both a relative and a next door neighbor are hoarders. the next door neighbor is an older man who attended MIT, became a HS math teacher, never married, lived with his parents until they died in rapid succession (shortly after we moved in to the house next door). His house was so cluttered that he would sit in his car at times. At a certain point, the town intervened. They brought in a dumpster and moved him to housing for a period while they got rid of the stuff. He’s now moved back and we got him to hire the women who has been our organizer. Very charming and she has charmed/cajoled him post-intervention to throw things out. Is hoarding a male thing, kmc?</p>

<p>I’m on a flight back from Frankfurt, only to head to DC tomorrow for a niece’s Bat Mitzvah. On Sunday, we go to ShawD’s nursing honor society induction. The pinning is in two or three weeks. </p>

<p>ShawSon was asked by a 2nd year business school student who has started and sold a couple of companies to be the CTO/co-founder of a new company. The student will be the early funder. ShawSon described it to me and it could be a good idea, but he is struggling to make time to get his assignments done and sleep. No time/energy for dating. I asked him how he would find the time to also do a new startup. I said, “The good news is that in the program that you are in and with your background, this will not be the last such offer you get. It might be the best, it might not, but you don’t have to latch on to this one.” We’ll see what happens. The Wild West.</p>

<p>When we took ShawD to Costco this past weekend, she said, “How would you feel about my moving to California after I graduate from the NP program? I’ve lived all my life in the Boston” (actually we live in the exurbs) “except for one semester in a small version of Harvard Square. So, I thought I would try California.” Well, who knows as in the summer she was thinking Detroit and the State Department, but if she does, it would strengthen my desire to start spending winters there. She absolutely loves her program, especially as she sees what she would be doing as a nurse practitioner. It does seem like she will have opportunities everywhere. According to US News, “For the best salary potential, go west – to San Jose, Calif., specifically, where the average salary for nurse practitioners was $125,450 in 2012.” In an ideal world, ShawSon will introduce her to one of his classmates (he offered that when she was thinking of moving to Detroit) and she’ll find a well-heeled mate to go along with a job so she can actually afford to live there. But, then she won’t need our help with a two-family house. </p>

<p>One of her friends from another school keeps saying, “You are so smart. Why don’t you go to medical school?” She says, “I would be able to handle medical school, but why would I want to do that?” I get to start work in one and a half years. ShawWife said, “People might think about it for the money or the prestige.” ShawD said, “I will start earning money right away and won’t have to take big loans and wait four plus years to start getting paid so I don’t know if higher income is such a good reason.” At her white coat ceremony, the only intelligent thing the speakers said was a quote from a practicing NP who said, “Don’t try to be an MD. We are doing something different.” AFAIK, she seemed to be differentiating between what I will call patient-centered care (which seems to be how the NPs think) rather than symptom-centered care (which seems to be the orientation of most but not all MDs). Much more caring in the patient-centered model, which I think matches ShawD’s personality. But who knows?</p>

<p>So sorry, Moda! Crossing my fingers for the first choice!</p>

<p>I thought I posted the above yesterday but it was still in my drafts.</p>

<p>As you are all well aware, H is close to being a hoarder…well, at least too close for my own comfort. Older D described all the decorations H puts up for every holiday to her BF and he said that it must be like living in a 1st grade classroom…a very apt description. A couple of days ago I came home to the house decorated for Thanksgiving. So much and so tacky. It probably hurts H’s feelings that he does all that "work"and I don’t even comment but I just hate it so much and I really resent his turning our house into a place in which I feel very uncomfortable. I’m sure that if we ever have grandkids, they will adore coming over…so much to look at! At some point when one of the other bedrooms is permanently unoccupied, I will create a sparsely decorated haven. </p>

<p>Shaw, I’m on Team ShawD and hope that she continues to focus on patient centered care, no matter the degree or job title.</p>

<p>Older D is on the edge of exhaustion/illness. Her quarter is finished at Thanksgiving, but she will be done before “finals” week, as all her classes require papers or projects. She is taking an extra course (so, 20 hours) which she needn’t have (a glitch in the computer program showed that she would not have enough credits for her double major unless she took the extra class). Because she only has night classes two days,she is working 8 hours each of those days…classic case of over extension, but it will all be over soon. H is more sympathetic/worried about her than I am. I think it’s because he had a pretty easy undergrad and grad school experience and never really had to live on little sleep and lots of coffee for an extended period of time. But goodness, she’s 22 years old, so that in itself is worth a lot! </p>

<p>mp–being 22 is why, at least partially, DIL is managing it all.</p>

<p>GF’s breaking point, I think, is paying for four storage units and being unable to cut back her hours. They had some rough financial years and while I do not know what a unit costs it is no doubt worth at least a half day or day of her work. Last winter she told him she would move out if the last of three showers broke. He can’t fix the other two showers because the downstairs is so full that the pipes cannot be accessed due to stuff. Entire rooms cannot be walked through. In the meantime, helps S remodel his house. I cannot imagine. </p>

<p>Iced in today. Always the big “should we” decision in the a.m. If you looked at our zip it is freezing rain. If you look at H’s work zip and then mine it is rain. So if we get out we may not get back in (has happened before). H has a very tough time cancelling work but he did and then creatively figured out a way to work from home being the doc of the day and doing the in-box/advice for the clinic.</p>

<p>I am going to try to get something or other done today. Really.</p>

<p>Oh Oregon, I just don’t think I could live in the conditions in which your GF is living. </p>

<p>IF SF asks for interview, S would be thrilled, but at this point he is in most in love with the south, and while the disappointment at the state school is real, he won’t feel true stress until after mid-december when country music sings in the first decision round. But again, there are several schools still in silence, SF included, and at this point (and considering the Jan-Feb interviews I keep hearing about), it aint over until it’s over.</p>

<p>Hoarding would drive me absolutely insane. According to a friend who lives in NYC, they were paying something like $300 a month on storage outside the city. They ended up getting a place up here but that’s still $150 for a much smaller space, and the only reason they were able to do that is because their oldest moved out and she realized if she could fit Christmas decorations into their Manhattan apt, they wouldn’t really need the rest in the city. But considering I have a LOT currently in storage, the only upside is that we aren’t paying for it (since H owns the space). </p>

<p>Mod–cool that your H owns the space.</p>

<p>I am a little slow…It just actually registered that your S and my DIL are possibly competing for some of the same Med school openings. I will bet not many, as I know she did not apply to SU, but guessing some. She did receive an interview request from BU today and you are right that it is in Jan/Feb. She has only heard from 2 of her 14 schools to date.Her application was a good month or more later than your S.</p>

<p>I cannot imagine S and G’son managing in Boston. Keeping mouth shut. Been through this before with D and it will work out fine. I believe your S and my DIL could end up in the same class–if so, we will have loads of fun at the white coat ceremony! (as I am sure that her parents will not realize the importance nor will they make the trip, if long distance, to be there).</p>

<p>I cannot even imagine feeling romantic in a hoarder’s environment nor towards the hoarder. Yuck</p>

<p>Good morning! My ride to the airport arrived 15 minutes earlier than scheduled, so I arrived at my gate an hour and a half before boarding and 2 hours before departure. Texts from H yesterday sounds like he made a lot of progress. Movers arrive today. My main task is to drive second car to Chicago filled with D’s items then fly back. We found a guy in our building who will walk the dog. I can’t wait until all our stuff arrives - I’m sure the spacious apartment will fill up quickly!</p>

<p>We’re trying to decide what to put in storage. If the place wasn’t partially furnished we probably wouldn’t have to put anything in storage, but there are already beds, a sofa, dining room furniture, and kitchen appliances. Since we know it’s temporary it’s hard to weigh the cost of storage vs getting rid of everything and starting over. </p>

<p>I gave H permission to purge as necessary. It’s only stuff.</p>

<p>Drive carefully, CQ. Those getting snow seem to have forgotten how to drive. A client I went through a small flurry to see yesterday had watched someone ditch their car in their own driveway :wink: </p>

<p>Oregon and Moda, that would be so cool if they ended up at the same school. Almost like a plot twist in our imaginary forum novel ;)</p>

<p>Re hoarder…just curious (because its fascinating to me) as to whether hoarder h has ever suffered a brain injury.
In her shoes, I’d move out even if I didn’t divorce him :wink: But I also wouldn’t continue paying for a house that was being trashed either. And since he doesn’t work, that might pose a problem…as would simply deciding not to pay for the storage units…which would then be auctioned off.
I’m thinking if he hasn’t thought this all through, there’s something terribly wrong here. She clearly has the power in this situation. He must not believe she would exercise it.</p>

<p>Girls pj party tonight at the compound. We decided to regress to our teen hood (and nobody wants to drive/hit deer hone from my place ;). Any suggestion for worthy, provocative chick flicks? We wanted to get 100 Foot Journey but its not out until Dec. 2nd.</p>

<p>I have a friend whose SIL is a hoarder, of the type that could be on TV. My friend says there just isn’t an effective treatment. For a while, psychiatrists were treating patients for addiction. Now they think it’s mentally closer to OCD. My friend also says that virtually every person “rescued” on the TV shows relapses, almost immediately starting the hoard all over again. (My poor friend - she is the one whose H died of H1N1 - is the only living relative in the area, so she is stuck dealing with her SIL. When the SIL had knee replacement surgery, she had to stay at my friend’s house for quite a while, because the home health care folks wouldn’t/couldn’t deal with the SIL’s house.)</p>

<p>I added a bold piece of art to my drab office. A print of one of Georgia O’Keefe’s skyscraper paintings. The original was at Crystal Bridges and when I saw it, I remembered that I owned a print (purchased over 25 years ago.) I finally unearthed it last night and it it does cheer up the office.</p>

<p><a href=“Skyscrapers”>http://xroads.virginia.edu/~ma02/freed/okeeffe/skyscrapers.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Who is going to write our novel? Perhaps we could collaborate when the bus finally comes to take us to some serene island.</p>

<p>There are many wonderful writers here. perhaps TM would, she is already published.
D1 informed me that she had forgotten to get tickets for TG, sigh.
D2 is working, I am thinking we will meet her after her shift. She is loving it and so many of the patients just love her. I have heard “the why don’t you become a doctor” ad nauseum My daughter has too, they are different disciplines. One is not smarter than the other. I am very impressed with her ability to assess and make decisions. I am also impressed with her ability to connect. That is not a skill everyone has. in addition she is handling the “dirty” work just fine wondered how this would be.
I am continuing through my class, doing well but not perfect which is what I want. Mostly its test taking strategy that I stink at. even then I might miss one that just makes me soooo mad. I do love learning and being challenged. </p>

<p>An exciting (not) morning as H and I sat in the middle of one of the steepest hills in the area (going to confirm this) trying to leave our neighborhood at 11 this am. Got 1/3 way down and then clearly was going into a nice new truck. H got us stopped but I got him to sit there for over 35 minutes (NO easy task)(he was ready to barrel on) we saw 4 cars coming down on us–man he wanted to try to go and my opinion is that if they could see us they could decide if they could change their direction. All turned around. We were sitting on the ice and they were on road that the sun had hit.
Then H walked down the entire hill and witnessed two trucks bashing into one another.
He was calmer after that (as in he was not an idiot to sit tight). So we sat and finally H managed to go around the shiny new truck into a driveway where we sat another 30 miniutes (me missing my hair appt. as I had the day before and because so many did, finally manage late this afternoon). Hair person refused payment so I handed her that much in cash in addition to the regular tip).
We finally made it back up our house with about 2 blocks to walk. 2 hours later–no problem driving down the hill.</p>

<p>This the PNW–no snow but this black ice that looks like rain. The guy at Trader Joes discussed that as it happens 1-2 times (maybe a total of 5 days) a year that we do ot have the infrastucture to deal with-- as in never ever is a neighborhood sanded.</p>

<p>I grew up in IND. and lived in PA and snow is snow --remember 3-5 ft and not being able to dig out for 3 days. I quite stupidly drove 3 hours to see my BF the day after Christmas in a snow white out back when. Stopped at a rest stop to fix my makeup:). (Would have come unglued if my kids had ever done the same).
This ice is so different and wierd.</p>

<p>We are out now. maybe a rant here? Maybe so gratefull that H only had me yell at him a few times. Years ago he refused and that cost us about $500…</p>

<p>I do think that when we saw a lovely red corvette trying to come up and then managed to park on the side as he/she was sliding and I mentioned how much our car insurance would go up if we hit it just might have had an impact.</p>

<p>Cross posted from Jewish schools thread…</p>

<p>I just got the most amazing phone call this morning …from boysx3. The nurse called, left me a message, and boysx3 wanted to talk to me. Called back, and there she was! They have partially removed the trach tube and she is able to speak!!! Her sense of humor is definitely there, she was able to carry on an active conversation, is feeling feisty and is eager to get out of the rehab hospital. I’m shaking and crying as I write this – I have been following her CB page, but this is a huge leap forward from her DH’s last post. I told her that there are a lot of folks on CC who have been asking after her and praying, sending good wishes, etc.</p>

<p>Keep those prayers and Mi Shebeirachs coming for boysx3! I am going to see her Wednesday morning. This just totally made my day.</p>

<p>What wonderful news and so glad you will get to visit her.</p>

<p>Such great news about boysx3! I have been following Caring Bridge and am so happy to hear this. </p>

<p>Made it to Chicago ahead of the snow, although it arrived after I did. Nice dinner last night with D and her BF. Return home this afternoon.</p>

<p>Such amazing news about boys. Thanks so much for sharing!</p>

<p>Thrilled about the news of Boysx3. She is a strong fighter, no doubt. Hope the trajectory continues at a rapid clip!!!</p>

<p>Earlier this week, the GF of my friend of 35 years moved out and headed back to Baltimore. No fight or anything, just a decision. Frankly, they’ve only gone out for 8 months and none of us here saw it working out long term regardless, but he is the type of guy that hates to be alone, never has really been alone and thinks he will now and forever be alone. I think she thought he was a lot more independently wealthy than he truly is and basically she wanted a different lifestyle. He does have a tendency to misrepresent certain things, so I get why she might have been surprised. But I also think he was more in love with the relationship than the girl on the other end of it, it seems she picked a week to move out when not many other of our friends were around. Sigh. So…I called my cleaning gal, and then went over there on Friday, rearranged furniture, rehung pictures, packed of boxes of her stuff that she had forgotten or passively aggressively left behind, and basically got him organized. I still can’t figure out what exactly happened, but I used the only skills I had to help. I supervised cleaning, organized cabinets, and hang pictures 58" on center! :slight_smile: I made him toss five summer ferns brought inside as they are way too messy. She was a terrible homemaker if you ask me. In any event, I feel bad for him, but honestly I never saw the connection all summer. She is much more a nomadic soul and he requires true roots. It was just a matter of time - and I guess the threat of lake-effect snow said it was time!! However, his fear of being alone for a 58 year old man is concerning, and the real truth is, while a negative nellie in general, he is far more Nellie than any other guy I’ve ever met! I was glad when some of the guys went over there yesterday and were helping him put in a new floor in a bathroom and thankfully, he starts a new job on Monday which will hopefully distract him. I’ve got my own issues that I am working out up here and he truly only sees himself in all things - of course, that could have been a problem as well!!</p>

<p>D comes home tonight around midnight, but I won’t see her until we all meet up in NY! I am going to be really honest. I am really nervous for her to come home and will be glad she will get a couple of good nights sleep before we are all together. Some of her pictures on FB, while not drinking in them and maybe not apparent to the everyman, I can tell. I worry about her the most of all my kids in a general way, and who knows how much she has grown or changed in the last five months abroad. And although she skyped with H quite regularly and that worked when he was here all summer, now that he is coming back and forth, it seems I have been slightly out of the loop and when I do hear from her, the connection is constantly breaking up and is totally frustrating. She has a way of playing H and I against each other and I’ve become super sensitive to it, which isn’t helpful either. </p>

<p>Oregon - I sent you a pm on here, but haven’t heard back… did you get it?</p>

<p>Great news for boysx3! Thanks for letting us know, Counting down and please send hugs and best wishes!</p>

<p>As I commented on FB, that is truly such wonderful news about boysx3! </p>

<p>Bummer, indeed, about your S being wait listed, Moda. But, as you say, it’s not over til it’s over.</p>

<p>H and I are re-adjusting to urban living, crazy Boston area drivers and all. (I had totally forgotten just how bad some of them are …) We had a very busy first week back, what with all the festivities surrounding the inauguration of the new (female!) President of WPI. It was all lots of fun, and I believe she’s going to be a tremendous asset to the school.</p>

<p>We’re off to a walking tour of parts of downtown Boston in a few minutes, but I wanted to add my 2 cents about hoarding – thank goodness nobody in either my or H’s families has that tendency. Being at all unorganized for more than a short period of time starts giving me the heebie-jeebies, so if H was at all like that we’d have a real problem. </p>