Parents of the HS Class of 2009 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
37001

<p>Glommed my Pocket Monkey for H. </p>

<p>Many congratulations to Oregon’s DIL and to Zetesis, and consolation to KMC. D broke up with her boyfriend last month, and getting that telephone call was tough as a mom to hear. And, truth be told, even tougher until I figured out what was going on beside the tears, and that took a couple of minutes. </p>

<p>Sevmom – you have more courage than I. That is all. (Says the woman who was wiping dust up a solid month after the “dustless” floor refinishing.) </p>

37002

<p>Thanks to all of you for the support. I’m like many of you-I do not like the dust and stress of remodeling and have tried to avoid it at all costs(although I know there are some people who do enjoy remodeling). But this has to get done so I’ll just have to get through it. </p>

<p>Sorry to hear about your daughter’s breakup, arabrab. S1 has broken up with his GF of almost 4 years a couple of times. Well, he says it has been mutual. They were apart for a few months this year but got back together a couple of months ago. When I saw them together last month,they were acting like nothing had ever happened. I really don’t know what to think. It is confusing. I like his girlfriend. I just wish they would make up their minds !</p>

37003

<p>Good morning. Have no idea why I’m up after just a few hours sleep ;)</p>

<p>Had an early Xmas last night for just the three of us as mcson has decided to hit the road tomorrow on a “wander” vacation visiting friends. He had stored up the OT to take the next two weeks off for SF and is instead heading to his former college town, then to Canada for a visit with his childhood best friend. He’s debating stopping at my folks on Xmas day, or just heading straight to a friend’s in TO and after that, perhaps to a cabin in the woods with that crew.</p>

<p>He’s still really unsure about being around the whole extended family when the breakup is so fresh. I don’t suppose I can blame him. They’re not likely able to resist the same kind of questions like the ones wandering through my own mind :wink: He says he has a low tolerance right now for two types of responses: misguided vilification of the ex, or turning it int a drinking theme. (My sisters, who are very fondly protective of mcson, would likely be fans of both :wink:
He also says the kind-hearted shock “but you two were perfect together” is just as tough. I’m guessing among his friends he’s received a range of responses, based on these comments. </p>

<p>So we managed to have a nice night together despite the general background sadness. I’m glad in retrospect that even though the flight was his “big” gift, I’d picked up some other gifts that were a hit. </p>

<p>Right now I’m struggling with some rational and irrational parental guilt. On one hand (rational) I feel guilty that I have mixed feelings about the breakup. I’m broken-hearted for him so much it makes me feel sick, but I also have a secret sense of relief because deep down I worried that her theatrical career would always take precedence over his own artistic path. I didn’t see her as being as willing to make sacrifices as he seemed to be, and was worried about the power balance in that regard. I envisioned a future where I’d not be especially close to them physically or spiritually as well. But I hate the selfishness of that impulse, that hope that now one day there’s a chance I’ll have new family closer by. In the end, though, I’d never trade that for HIS happiness.</p>

<p>Less rational is the fear that his coming here to work when we’d suddenly lost our employee somehow set the course for the demise of the relationship, that he completely over-estimated her ability to handle a distance relationship. Rationally speaking, I realize that if his choices – and they were choices – led down that path then ultimately they weren’t made to make it through the kinds of compromises life in partnership usually calls for. But knowing that doesn’t stop me from worrying about it ;)</p>

<p>At any rate, thanks for listening. It’s hard to not know more when we’re usually so close but I’m sure when he’s on more stable footing I’ll have a better idea of what happened. I obviously have a few hunches.</p>

37004

<p>Up early doing my French peasant thing - making an absolutely delicious cassoulet for some friends from the city… They find it very quaint to cut their Christmas tree down and we always oblige with a nearby farm and lunch afterwards. S and GF arrived last night. D came up earlier to do some shopping with me. A lot of fun but now poor H now has my cold.</p>

<p>My nephew broke up with his gf last year and a few of my sisters ralllied round with the villification of the ex. So NOT a good idea considering that they are now back together. Absolutely no business of mine and I have no idea to what extent I would react if the gf and/or went out of the picture. I have a feeling we kindof mate for life around here.</p>

<p>BTW, MP, is your S’s gf the same one who has been with him for years?? What kind of stone has he decided on?</p>

37005

<p>Yes, woody, I was very glad we didn’t say anything bad about S1’ s girlfriend become you never know what could happen down the line. So sorry you and your son are going through this, kmc. I’m sure he appreciates your support.</p>

37006

<p>kmc–you are being very supportive letting him take care of his sadness even though it means he will be away for Christmas day. We did not know for a long time why S and his first love broke up. Eventually he told us and what she had done was so hurtful and humiliating that he could not talk about it.
I thank my lucky stars for DIL. WE are such a better match ;;).</p>

<p>It was total caos around here yesterday. I was in deep sleep and H woke me up with icy fingers running down my hand–felt like an animal–which really set the tone. Then, after having gone over the schedule the day before and then that morning he announced that S thought he should get an chest x-ray to check his lung (all OK). Of course he told me after we had headed to the salon for haircuts (S and DIL to follow later). This meant that I did not spend 1 hour and return home to prepare a Happy Hour for friends and a nice dinner but instead was stuck at the salon so S and H could leave and DIL and G’S could get cuts. I was there over 4 hours–did leave and take G’s with me to the grocery in pouring down rain and tried to get D’s dog to perform (failed as she hates rain). My back hurts today from lifting 33 lbs in and out of the cart and carry him across the parking lot and back.</p>

<p>In the end we had bad Happy Hour food and ordered out dinner.
Oh, and just as the crises was building D called to say her flight was canceled and she had to spend a night in Minn.
I will confess that I treated H very badly about all of this. I suppose I will eventually feel guilty but I sure do not yet.
He is going to tell me how bad my behaviour was towards him and not have any insight as to his role. </p>

<p>Today I will make last nights dinner. Hopefully, all others will go to the Children’s Museum. Then dinner, presents and S and fam will take off. </p>

37007

<p>Well, @oregon101‌, I hope the rest of the holiday goes better. </p>

<p>We had ShawD and ShawSon and special cousin for dinner last night – Chanukah. ShawD is studying for her nursing licensure exam. Of course, she took a practice exam by accident – she thought it was a practice exam for one of her finals but was surprised at all the material covered in the course. If I have it right, they score from 1 (low) to 8 (high) in terms of mastery of a number of subjects. So, without prepping for the course, she got 8’s on each section of the practice exam. Now, she’s studying for most of the month and taking a school-provided prep course. (“There was a lot on the practice exam that was idiosyncratic.”) Apparently no one in her five year program has ever failed the licensure exam. </p>

<p>On the cute side, ShawSon had talked with ShawWife who wanted to make sure he was having fun. As you recall, he had a very intense semester in which he was expected to be working at a second year level on programming without having the first year prerequisite. So, he pushed very hard and says he pulled 4 all-nighters during exam week. Well, his grades: two As and on P in a psych course on human neuroimaging that he decided to take P/F. The application of drive, strategic thinking and IQ to overcome obstacles. [By the end, he was teaching his classmates, who were all admitted to a tough grad program at a prestigious school]. But, his priorities for the term were to a) learn the material; b) get an A- or better in his courses; and c) make friends/contacts mostly at the business school. He did all of those. He did go out on a couple of dates, but decided that he just didn’t have the energy to find a girlfriend and build a relationship. He said, “Mom, I’m investing this year in learning a set of skills and if it is a hellishly hard year, that’s OK.” But, ShawWife encouraged him to maybe go out a little bit. So, when ShawD came, he asked her to go over his profiles on a couple of online dating services. He thought maybe his profile needed to be a little more exciting. I gather it might if he is shooting for 21 year olds but not if he is shooting for 24 year olds. </p>

<p>ShawWife said she had to stifle a laugh as he told her that he probably wanted to avoid casual relationships because he thought that one of the next two serious relationships would result in marriage. Apparently I said exactly the same thing around the time that I met her and she wondered if he had been talking to me (answer no). He’s thinking strategically about how he can mesh his interest in being an entrepreneur with getting married and having kids. Maybe marry someone who will have a good but stable income – so maybe date women with solid career plans – or take a job with high income for a few years and save a lot. She said it was funny how much he thinks like me (of course I married an artist with no great income prospects, but that wasn’t the problem I was solving).</p>

<p>ShawD is being pursued by the tall, handsome guy with whom she went on her Birthright trip. But, he lives and goes to school in the South. She doesn’t think she needs to use online services to find guys. Which is true at one level-- loads of guys try to hit on her because she is nice-looking. But she has no men in her classes and so her only regular contact with men is at Chabad – which is largely Orthodox folks who want a life she does not want. Her uncle who is a doctor always said that as soon as she started working as a nurse, the single doctors would be beating a path to her doorstep. Who knows? </p>

37008

<p>I think all we can do with kids and breakups is offer sympathies and comfort. Still, sad, and hard at this season. Well, hard at any season.</p>

<p>Shawbridge – I bet your D is going to pass that NCLEX in the minimum number of questions. (A friend – (50 something career changer) took it a few months ago and told me about it. Apparently it is an adaptive test, and offers you only as many questions as it needs to determine if you pass or fail. Glad Shawson survived the fall term, and that he now has a few weeks to recharge the sleep batteries. I hope his winter quarter won’t be as crazy.</p>

37009

<p>I forget who asked but yes H went back to work on Thurs. He had his surgery on Monday and went back to work on Thurs. Tomorrow he goes and has the dressing changed. Not sure what that means. He believes that the cast it going to go away - it’s an open cast and that he will be some sort of appliance for the elbow. I don’t know – seems early but we will see.</p>

<p>Spent yesterday making cookies. I’ll do a gluten free one for D’s BF on Christmas Eve as they just don’t keep along with my traditional Christmas cinnamon rolls. I would like to also do a pie but we will see. Shopping is done but I haven’t been able to wrap anything yet. Going to start that tonight.</p>

37010

<p>sorry about the breakups. I have a feeling they might get back together. Shaw your son cracks me up with his approach to dating. You think he would meet people at his school. But I agree there doesn’t seem to be time and I think he is focusing on where he needs to be.
Kmc it must be like losing a family member,but I think they may get back together.
I have been home sick as a dog, started at work sunday. Just cannot be sick for the holiday as it is a no no.
Shaw there are some nice docs but honestly they can be kind of dorky. </p>

37011

<p>DTE, sorry to hear that you are sick. I hope you feel better soon. </p>

<p>I think in the highly technical field he is studying this year, there are not a lot of women at all. There are quite a few on campus of course, but he would have to find the time to meet them. It will happen over time. Needs some activities. He said that it was very important that the person value intelligence, because that is what he brings to the table. In fact, he is also so sweet and so helpful when his friends have problems and so likely to be successful. </p>

37012

<p>DTE, hope you feel better soon! </p>

<p>S had his last final Saturday morning. H went up to get him, since we could either store his belongings during spring study abroad, or bring it all home. So just when it was looking more unpacked around here, it’s back to piles of stuff to deal with.</p>

<p>Our tree is up, but the top third’s lights are not working. Nothing I’ve tried has worked so far. I’ve delayed putting ornaments on it until the light issue is resolved. I guess we need to decide if we’re doing it this year. I recall in years past we’ve had a decorated tree with regions of lights that were not working.</p>

<p>The past 15 years we’ve had some traditional activities - a Christmas Eve party at friends where I bring an over the top dessert, Christmas dinner and presents with the extended family. I also have always worked Christmas Eve because it’s such a busy time work-wise, and my new employer gives it as a day off and it’s not busy. So it’s time for some new ways of celebrating!</p>

<p>D will be alone on Christmas. She is working the 26th. Her bf is leaving today to spend the holiday with his family. She was invited, but with her new job she has to coordinate holidays. There are some relatives she could spend time with, but she would prefer to be alone than with these particular relatives. So we’re all having a different kind of Christmas this year. I’ve made a reservation for dinner, and we need to agree on a movie to see.</p>

<p>RM, hope your H continues to heal.</p>

<p>kmc, hope your S is doing okay. </p>

<p>shawbridge, glad shawson is home and able to rest a bit. Glad shawD is in a discipline so suited for her gifts and talents and interests. </p>

<p>One last day of work this week, then I have 2 days next week. I will be traveling most of January. I really enjoyed last week being on-site. Time will tell how I handle the constant travel aspect of the new job.</p>

<p>Hope all the last minute shopping, baking, wrapping, and decorating gets done by all of us who still have unfinished items!</p>

37013

<p>Thanks for the well wishes, guys.
Mcson seems to be holding up so far…he left yesterday for a road trip visiting friends. So maybe hat will get him through the worst of it. Or maybe it will delay his grieving a bit, hard to tell.</p>

<p>CQ, know what you mean about having a different kind of Christmas :wink: In retrospect, this might have been a great year to start the “Key West Xmas” I keep threatening ;)</p>

<p>I think a few of my clients would prefer I not have a Xmas at all. I was bowled over by two phenom yesterday…in one case, I’d quoted a new site to an existing client two months ago, but she didn’t have enough left in the marketing budget, so she scheduled the project to start in January. Its usually a 90-day process. Yesterday, she asked if it could be live Jan. 12th. Hellooooooooooo? </p>

<p>In the second case, a new client whose staff has only now procured 170 missing items required to complete the project wants to know if it can be live Dec. 31st. That one might be at least do-able, but not without OT ;)</p>

<p>In the mean time, I’m working on a rush proposal for someone whose accountant decided he needs to spend money before year end…which I can appreciate, but again, am feeling the time pressure in terms of working days left. </p>

<p>I suppose all the shenanigans are a good distraction, though, as left to my devices I stew and am blue for mcson. I think its worse now that he’s gone and I don’t have to put on a brave face for him. Mch has confided privately that he’s never felt mc-gf was proper partner material as he felt mcson seemed to be the one making all the sacrifices. I agree, but he did it willingly, out of love, and I understand that. But mch is likely right that in the end he may have a happier life this way.</p>

37014

<p>Waving hello to all as I pass by the computer on my way to my annual day-long baking palooza. Actually, I’m not doing quite as much this year – SIL has been on a mission to lose weight, and H & I don’t need all the leftover goodies. Still have wrapping to do – but, hey, gift cards are pretty quick/easy!</p>

<p>OK, time to share one very bizarre story. We’re at the beach for Christmas. D & bf were here for the weekend. They stayed Sun night and got up at 5:00 am yesterday to drive back to Boston. D got out of bed at 5:00 and happened to be looking out her window on the front of the house. (She hadn’t yet turned on any lights.) There’s a street light just before our house that casts a fair amount of light. D saw a jogger dressed in dark clothes running up our street. He started to pass our house when all of a sudden he took a sharp right toward our house, got up next to our stone wall (about 3 feet high and 15 feet from the edge of the road) and dropped flat to the ground behind the wall. D’s first thought was that it was our neighbor who jogs daily, and he’d had a heart attack or something. They guy was still on the ground when she heard me coming down the hall. She dragged me into her room and quickly told me the story while we’re both looking out the window. Just then, her bf in the next room got up and turned on his light. As D & I are looking out her window, we see a face pop up from behind the wall, and then the guy jumped off and took off running down the street. Later in the morning H called the police, but obviously there’s little they could do except take his story and say, “Well, let us know if you see him again …” D is coming back tomorrow for the holiday, but keeps texting to see if we’re OK. She’s convinced it was someone casing the house, but why pick a place with 2 cars parked in the drive? There are so many houses that are clearly unoccupied all winter. All in all, it was a very bizarre/freaky thing. </p>

37015

<p>How weird. Hopefully he is just someone’s nutsy holiday company who will go away soon.</p>

<p>No proposal from Son to his GF of 61/2 years. I guess time will tell as to whether she was expecting a ring.</p>

<p>My mom and my sister had a big argument yesterday in a way that only those two could. I don’t have the energy to go into it but I think both are justified in feeling hurt and angry. But leave it to my mother to tell my sister to take her presents with her as they will not be seeing each other on Christmas. That’s my mom; my sister will likely still come over but my mom really knows how to keep a fight going.</p>

<p>As for breakups among young adults, I think that at some point, if one can’t see himself or herself married to the other, they will break up. The other party is often shocked because he/she didn’t "do"anything. It’s very difficult to provide a reason but often young adults want to cut bait and look for more “marriageable” material, however they define it. We can all think of people we’re crazy about but would not want to sign up to spend the rest of our lives with. </p>

<p>I’m at work, in my jeans and comfy boots, streaming the classical radio station, working on one last contract. It actually beats laundry and grocery shopping, which is what H is doing. After today I will be off until Monday.</p>

<p>Wishing you all calm and peace and good health (that means you, DTE.)</p>

37016

<p>H got the “cast/dressing” removed today and then a custom splint made and a brief physical therapy appt. All is looking good but still 6 weeks or so in the splint - or I think that is what the surgeon said. I do believe that a surgeon is a “special” individual. Between this and the guy that I saw for the broken leg with the need for cadaver bone I have decided that they are all very “comfortable that they are that they are superior”. This guy indicated that he did exceptional work. :)</p>

37017

<p>^never argue with someone who wields a scalpel or a pen ;)</p>

37018

<p>Unless yours is bigger. ;)</p>

37019

<p>watched the movie 100 feet tonight. DIL looks so much like Charlotte Le bon! In fact DIL has larger features but so much the magical same. DIL does not have the same body but has the same style.
It was almost difficult for H and I to watch as we could not stop exclaiming!</p>

37020

<p>:) </p>

<p>Up early. Needed to work 4 hours today (stupid really) so I came in early so that I can get out early. Still have wrapping to do and some cooking to get done today.I will say that I"m enjoying the peace and quiet that is currently my office. I know that will change as others wonder in but I should be leaving about the time that everyone gets in. :slight_smile: It I don’t manage to get back on later I hope everyone that is traveling has safe travels and no matter what holiday you are celebrating that it is magical for you and your families. We are expecting the little one to appear in the next couple of weeks!</p>