Parents of the HS Class of 2009 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
37901

Hello to all! We spent the weekend at H’s college reunion. This is the first one he’s ever been to, but he felt an obligation to attend now that he’s a Trustee. Turned out to be a lot of fun, and he’s glad he went. So many interesting people! This next weekend we’re off to Maine for MY reunion. Thankfully our 2 schools aren’t on the same reunion schedule this year, as they have been in the past. H has always come to my reunions, and actually knows quite a few of my classmates.

Congratulations and kudos as appropriate to those of you who have posted noteworthy events. Glad to hear all is well with you in TX, mp. We could certainly use some rain here in the Northeast – but perhaps not THAT much.

dte – my Book Club chose “Being Mortal” for our September book. (We don’t meet during the summer.) We’re all of an age that makes the topic relevant.

My 20s feels like a couple of lifetimes ago. I know I’ve changed in some ways, but probably not fundamentally. I’m not where I thought I’d be, career-wise, but if given a chance to do everything over, I’m not sure I’d make different choices. H tends to think like this much more than I do – the whole, “What would I do differently?” I tend to tune him out when he gets going on “Maybe we should have done X, Y & Z when we designed/built the new beach house.” I guess it’s just that I don’t see the point – we’re certainly not going to build another house here! But, OTOH, H is also very, very good about looking down the road and planning for the future. We’re a good match in that I focus more on keeping things running/going in the here and now, and he’s planning for what’s to come.

I’m enjoying my new golf club – great group of ladies; very warm and welcoming. They’re all somewhat amazed I drive 40 mins to get to the club, but it’s really no big deal to me. Looks like we may get rained out tomorrow morning, but the Wednesday evening “9 & Dine” should be fine. Perhaps my game will improve by the end of the summer?

37902

Oregon, do your clients actually remember who they were as a little kid? I remember so little…certainly nothing of who I was. Or when your clients tell you the same thing, is that a big clue in itself?

Now that I have no choir/cheer/dance booster club activities, I guess I need to look into volunteering. I really haven’t felt drawn to any particular organization.

37903

Glad you’ve been okay in Texas, mp.

We’ve never gone to our college reunions but have gone back to our campuses just to check things out over the years.

I had an interesting day watching guys remove an old underground oil tank from our front yard. The house was built in the 1920’s but hasn’t used oil heat for many years. It was just an old corroded unused oil tank sitting there. It has been on my mind to get this taken care of since we bought the house about 10 years ago ( I wish we had in fact made the sellers take it out before we closed but it was found at the last minute and our realtor minimized it at the time). There are more issues with these tanks all the time (insurers reluctant to insure a home with a tank, harder to get a mortgage in many cases) so glad it is now gone! It was actually pretty fascinating to see how they did it. Had to get a permit, soil sample, the fire marshal had to be there ,etc.

37904

Missy…have done volunteering for many years and am now taking some time off. :wink:
CBB…good luck on the improvement of your golf game. My game never seems to improve. sigh…

I have spent the morning dog sitting for D1 and then taking the dog to the vet. Poor thing couldn’t walk this morning and wouldn’t eat or drink. D1 was in tears so I stepped in so she could go to work. After much time (and money) at the vet’s we have discovered the dog has a 105.2 temp (which is very high). All lab reports came back normal so they aren’t sure what is happening with the poor dog. They thought the temp and hind quarter stiffness was typical tick involvement but those tests came back normal. They sent us home with an antibiotic and advice to let her rest and try to get her to eat and drink. I hope they figure this out!

37905

Yikes NM sending good wishes. They ruled out the flu that has been on our news lately?

37906

Nm I hope your puppy is better soon, sounds like something tick bourne.
Oregon I am total introvert, I need my time, space. I can be social,but prefer to get together with another couple. large groups strangle me, although people say you would never know it.

37907

Best of luck with the dog, NM.

DTE, I think great kids are an important part of your legacy and feel the same way about mine. At my college reunions this weekend, ShawWife was a little surprised that a smaller proportion of the female students had the same kind of careers as the males (see below). Well, child birth and the lack of societal support for child-rearing make a big difference in terms of time available, but also, I think that what we go through changes what we desire. Climbing the ladder at work may have seemed more important prior to having children than it does afterwards, and while this affects men, I think it tends to affect some women more. In this socio-economic group, some could afford to take time off and then had a harder time going back. One woman who was a pediatrician said her practices was not at the time at all accommodating to moms. So, she quit for a number of years.

Oregon, I sure hope I am not the same person I was at age 5-7 – I had no social skills and no friends, though I had an extremely highly functioning intellect. I was lonely. Made my first friend in the summer of junior year in HS and he became one of my roommates in college for the last three years. I willed myself to learn social skills in college (and continued thereafter). I also was quite insecure. In my freshman year, I worked so hard in the first two weeks that I did 6 weeks of assignments in all my classes and observed a few weeks later that I was getting As in the physics and math quizzes and realized, “Hey I might survive here.”

I had an extraordinary weekend, both for content and time. I drove 4.5 hours Friday morning to the reunion. I hadn’t really fully thought about my childhood and fitting in to college until the reunion. My college reunions are legendary. People come back from all over the world every 5 years – CEOs, judges, senior government officials, PE guys, lawyers, RE guys, World Bankers, … Two of my group didn’t come this year for the first time – one is an ex-Fortune 500 CEO whose daughter graduated from HS that weekend and the other is a university president who had a university-related trip. It is also one of the most beautiful places in the world with buildings. I feel really grateful to the school for what I got from it and how it helped me. One guy whom I didn’t know said it felt bittersweet because he had such a good time there and could never go back. I said, “Wow. I felt grateful etc. but I wouldn’t want to go back to being the lonely kid who was trying to figure out how to make friends and the insecure student who didn’t know bright he really was. I think I’ve gotten happier every decade. Why would I want to go back?” It was just sweet, not bittersweet.

Despite the wonderful time I was having at the reunion, I had to get back home the next evening for ShawWife’s cousin and my friend who was becoming ordained as a rabbi, living the dream he had when he was 16 (sent in a letter to ShawWife) plus having half of his wedding. In Judaism, the wedding had two parts, a betrothal that took place a year (or less?) prior to the wedding and then the nuptials. In modern time they collapsed these, but in this case, our friend decided to split them up. The betrothal service involved them offering blessings to each other and many people offering blessings to them. Both the rabbi and his wife-to-be and his ex-wife were spiritual explorers. Our friend maintained a very close relationship with his ex-wife – I was always a little concerned that he hadn’t separated. Well, on Saturday night, she and her mom and all of her siblings showed up for his wedding. The ex-MIL offered a very affectionate blessing and said, “You will always be our son-in-law.” The ex-wife was extraordinary complimentary about the wife-to-be and said, “I was the perfect partner you when we were together and she is the perfect partner for you now.” It was pretty remarkable. People were talking about the testament this was to the relationship between him and his ex but I said, “Wait. This is an extraordinary testament to the quality of the wife-to-be. Most new wives would have said, 'I’m thrilled you have a great relationship with your ex, but she and her mom and her sisters are not going to be 100 miles from my wedding (or in this case betrothal).” It was a compelling evening. Have you ever been at a wedding where the ex attends and truly genuinely praises the new wife and the new relationship?

And it was great to see him ordained the next day yesterday. He has been working as a chaplain for people in hospitals, especially those who are dying, and finds that rewarding and very spiritual. Because of who he is, people open up to him and surprise themselves with the depth they achieve. He will share his gift with people who really need it.

Today I flew to London and had dinner with a bunch of Ismaili Muslims who were talking about a wedding they attended this weekend (and probably longer, those things go on and on).

37908

dt,
yes! I am seriously an amazing host. In fact, just a few days ago H and I were talking about the fact that we are looked to as the dinner party place. We have decided to step back after our guests this Wed. It is expensive and our feelings are beginning to be hurt. We know that we make everything look easy and wonder if that is the problem.

I love to set the experience and cook every single thing (Please do not bring a thing as you will mess up my food plan).
H is a really lovely side kick.
That said, when the guests arrive I want to leave.
Often I go and sit in the closet for a bit.

What I meant to say to you is that I like no more than 6 but can provides for 20 as long as I have the closet!

Maybe I should have a career in catering!

37909

Shaw, you are only proving my point. While you needed help learning social skills you were accepting of others and very interested in their experiences even as a child. You did not have the skills to make friends but knew you were very intelligent. Your core is the same, I will bet. You have always sound accepting of others. Which had nothing to do with being lonely. That is either temperment or skills needed learning. But, as I know, difficult as a child.
Guessing you were observant and thoughtful even during your lonely times. And always a hard worker.

37910

Where did DT’s post go?

We were talking about hating to be in large groups.

Sometime I feel like CC is enjoying a drug experience that is just to throw off our sense of reality.

37911

loved hearing about the oil tank removal. Really this stuff is so interesting to me and recently had to convince a young couple who were looking at a house to buy to think about this–and I asked the realator and found out that SOMEWHERE there was a buried oil tank that had not been decomissioned…
bet they had no idea what that actually even meant. Now that I think about it, I will bet they barely knew what what an oil tank is even about.
I remember the coal being delivered and my father loading the furnace. I remember other houses and how dirty oil was and every single weekend I cleaned the baseboards of the soot all through high school.

mp, bet you have a few little memories that you think are not important.
That said, no, am not alarmed when a client does not have early memories.
I have very acutate and confirmed memories as early as 18 months. Sometimes it is not really a blessing. My first was a house fire that one of my parents caused from a cigarette.
I do not actually think it is very important in the big picture unless there are feelings that you cannot put your finger on and that bothers you. As, why do I always feel this way when I see a (?)

Goodness. You are all going to be wondering about my 3 posts! Spent the day with H purging scrapbooks and pictures and it was very low key. We never left the house and so now I am having a gab fest with you guys. H is asleep.

37912

Oregon, I know what you mean about hosting and at the same time fantasizing escape :wink: At larger affairs, what I don’t like is the sense of not actually being able to connect since I am in event management mode.

I have a lot of sharp recollections from childhood. I am always trying to discern the elements of my behavior that are nature versus the elements that were environmentally or situationally produced/exacerbated, in part in an effort to be both authentic and happy – and in part in almost forensic curiosity :wink:

My curiosity, ironically, is a product of both! Somewhere along the line, and early, it became clear that no one had my back, irrespective of their intent. So my natural curiosity was heightened into something that looked like an essential tool for survival, when in fact, it was more about autonomy and control, and making sense of insensible behavior… Kinda hard to explain in a short space on an iPad.

But like a clay pot in the kiln, transformative experiences can harden tendencies. I had to watch my worldview when that curiosity was put to work in crime journalism. You can only look into the abyss so long before the abyss looks back :wink:

37913

oregon, Glad you brought the oil tank issue to the young couple’s attention. I have done some research and decided to have it totally removed (as opposed to having it just abandoned in place, where they clean it and fill it with sand). It was more expensive but now it is totally out of there, including the vent and fill pipe. I did read that some buyers are balking at tanks still in the ground that have just been filled with sand. The buyers want them out, in general. I am so relieved to have it out. It has been in the back of my mind since we bought the house. The state and local government will now have a record that it has been totally removed.

37914

Good morning, all. Very interesting posts!

I have memories of childhood, but have no recollection of how/what I was as a child. Decades ago I figured out why I fly under the radar. My sister has always been the type who demanded attention, and if there was no positive attention to be had, negative would do. Well, she attracted a lot of negative attention to my parents, so I think I perceived that attention was bad. So I was quiet and utterly forgettable. In a business where it’s about attracting clients, that’s not a good thing. I am such a work in progress and by the time I’m 70 or so, I may have it figured out.

37915

I have a question in regards to summer wedding attire for those in the know! We have a wedding to attend in July in California, outside of San Francisco. It is an outdoor event and the invitation stated that cocktail attire should be worn. I have friends who think CA cocktail attire is more casual/laid back than here. Can any of you help???

37916

I used to live in that area 30 years ago, but that was a long time ago! I do know that it can be cold in San Francisco in July. My birthday is at the end of July and I remember bundling up to go out to dinner. And it may depend more on your friends and their social group than the geographic location!

37917

Not good news. We are looking to go to the Napa area next March. If July is cold what is it like in March? >-) Anyone have any “must see/do” items? I would love to go up the coast and go to the Redwood national forest but looks too far away – sigh…

37918

It isn’t July v. March, RM – at least, not exactly. July in San Francisco can be foggy and cold, and may be so in part of the city when other parts are sunny and warm. In July Napa would generally be quite warm.

In March Napa could have really pleasant weather, or it could be rainy.

Not too tied to weather in San Francisco, in my experience.

37919

SF doesn’t seem to have as many extremes in temperature that other places have. I like temperatures in the 50’s and 60’s the best and that seems pretty typical for San Francisco.

37920

NM – I will be very curious to hear what attendees actually wear to this event. I’m interpreting “cocktail attire” as short dresses (vs. formal) and nice sports jackets for the guys. DH has a silk/wool jacket that would work perfectly, I think. I’d imagine the dresses for the ladies would be silks or nice fabrics, perhaps florals or a sheath with a nice jacket. I certainly wouldn’t expect anything sparkly or bedazzled.