Fun to see the kids growing up, but sometimes startling to think back to what we were doing at a similar age. D pointed out that she’s only a year younger than her dad and I were when we married. Gack. DH’s mom made some quite rude comments about religion when we first started dating; I’m going to try real hard now not to do that. (She really was a very good mother-in-law, but raised in a rather strict Southern methodist tradition that looked mighty suspiciously on those from Catholic roots.)
Gorgeous, beautiful, fantastic day today. Maybe it hit 90, but it was a most pleasant day, and quite possibly the nicest since early May. Totally revived the spirits.
I feel your pain on the stuff from mom, MP. We’re finally getting rid of some of the decorative china MIL really wanted us to have. I am just not a decorated plate kind of person. Milkmaids and pastoral scenes on pitchers and bowls aren’t it either. Another pickup is scheduled for Friday.
I must be the odd one here as it bothered me more than H when D and her (then BF) now fiance moved in together. The funny thing was that the grandparents were all completely unfazed. They would have had fits if H and I had lived together before we were married.
Great to hear that you S called home, CBBB. I don’t quite get the unhappiness about living together thing in 2015 (given that most of us did it back then). There is also a dramatically shrinking population of actively religious folks who are not fundamentalists. So, the pickings might be a lot slimmer, especially in a place like Cambridge where it is probably much more uncommon to attend church in one’s 20s than not.
Sorry to hear about the friend with cancer, DTE.
We had an interesting Father’s Day weekend. We decided that because ShawD was working 9 AM-9 PM on both Saturday and Sunday and ShawSon is in California and because my birthday was just three days before, we would postpone Father’s Day to some time when we are all together. Saturday was a normal, busy day: cycling to a restaurant a few towns over for lunch, took a friend on her personalized tour of Costco (it’s a joke that I’m a disciple and always tell her what we are having for dinner that came from Costco including the previous week’s wild Copper River salmon), and then out to dinner for Shabu with ShawWife’s sister (the health and nutrition lady – DTE do you need her?), her kids and ShawWife’s visiting brother. ShawD joined us at the end of her shift.
Sunday was funny. Absolutely nothing that was scheduled happened but it was a good day. ShawWife’s brother stayed with us and we planned to cycle to the same restaurant, but it was pouring. Then we had agreed to meet a couple for an advertised talk at a local museum on modern architecture in the area (stuff built by Gropius and disciples, I think). Our friends had asked us to join them for dinner – he was going into the hospital the next day for 9 days of chemo to deal with a central nervous system lymphoma so the chemo would destroy his insides and then they will put back in the stem cells – but we had declined because ShawD thought we had a benefit dinner for her good friends (dumb charity thing that one of the kids is doing). But after dropping the BIL at the airport, we were hustling to the museum when our friends called and said the museum seemed to be closed (website says closed and the museum didn’t answer the phone) so we took them to a show ShawWife had helped curate and then to our house for coffee. As soon as they left, ShawWife called about the benefit and discovered it is scheduled for the following week. So, we reached our friends on the way back and re-arranged to have a lovely dinner with them at the restaurant they had made reservations for.
ShawSon called that night. He had just taken a couple of neophytes backpacking in Yosemite. He called to say that I was the greatest dad he knew. He said he knew he wouldn’t be where he is without me. I told him that I really appreciated that he recognized that and that it was obviously not just me but also him – his effort, drive and talent. He said that it wasn’t just the help, but that I was among the few fathers he knew who was had been successful professionally and financially, loved what they were doing, and really made the kids/family a priority) and that he wanted to replicate that life. So, while he was on a journey and didn’t know the directions, he knew the destination and that made it a lot easier for him to go on the journey without knowing exactly what the directions were. Very sweet and remarkably articulate for a 25 year old male. Heart-warming.
DTE, boysx3 called me this afternoon! She sounds terrific and said that she has gotten a lot of her functioning back, and even more so since I saw her six weeks ago. She said short-term memory is still an issue, but she has regained the tools to help her compensate. We are going out for lunch on Monday. She has a whole lot of people on her side, and she is one heck of a fighter. I am so, so thrilled for her and her family.
Saw and old friend at the lake, her nephew was quite taken with D2. I guess he is a great guy however he is very conservative form a religious standpoint and D2 is not. She is religious but believes in gay marriage etc… I am not sure they would jive.
I am using your SIL Shaw.
Counting down so glad you are seeing Boys please send her my regards. So glad she is better and hey the older you get the short term memory one has anyway!
Good morning. Sounds like you’ve all been more or less enjoying the first days of summer. Shaw, your son is a lovely testament to your efforts at work-life balance, and I agree you’re a great model
I will say that the work-life balance gene has unfortunately not perhaps been as strong in me as I’d have liked I’m still working on that one! Or still working…something like that!
My “teen hood horror reunion” party was not nearly as dramatic as some might have guessed, and the person I was there to support seemed genuinely (and pleasantly) shocked to see me. That part was nice, so I’m glad I went.
I played nice with the other kids too and managed to reign in my evil thoughts…which is in itself highly unusual It was also quite surreal, since some of the “characters” present have found themselves (in pieces) in a book I’ve tried to write that was inspired by some of the angst I experienced among them. Totally fictional, but with strains that would echo. I’ve not queried the book or done anything with it since I finished, and I’ve realized this in part forms my reticence.
All this has put me in a reflective frame of mind, and has made me grateful for the quality of friendships that have lasted throughout my life. The universe is perfect, as they say
I feel I am jumping from one summer maintenance job to another around here. Power washing (houses/decks/furniture/boats and lift)s, planting, getting new deck installed and finishing new 4 season porch refresh. Ready for some R&R!
I hosted an evening on the new deck Monday night for some lady friends so we could pay our respects to a friend whose father passed away. So nice to to touch base with everyone.Had a friend who imbibed a bit too much so I had to take her keys and drive her home. A little awkward for her but necessary. I have seen her like this once before and I am concerned.
H has started a new wellness program sponsored by his employer. I am the cook so I will also start the program. Here’s to good health! Also a good idea as we FINALLY finished our wills and estate planning this morning! Hooray!
D2 is on vacation in Colorado and D1 will spend the weekend at the lake with H and I. No boyfriend as he is working.
Last night younger D, on her own, said that she is grateful that we are paying for her college. A friend of hers (a year older) had to drop out of school…she got a great scholarship and had a 4.00 but was still $4000 short and her parents won’t/can’t contribute at all. I am very glad that D appreciates her situation.
We have also scheduled her tonsillectomy for next winter break. She was never really sick in HS but this past spring had strep that took 3 rounds of antibiotics to beat. Glad to know that Mother Does Know Best occasionally…sent her to my ENT and yes, chronic tonsillitis.
Next thing she wants to check out is the finger that she broke as a very young girl in gymnastics…she wants it to be straight again. Do you think it’s considered cosmetic surgery to fix a pinkie that can’t be straightened?
MP, I hurt my pinkie playing basketball a few years ago with ShawSon (something I’m no longer able to do in any meaningful way as he is now 6’4" and playing full-court basketball for an hour a day). It just bent down at the first joint and I couldn’t straighten it. I went to the hand specialist (whose name touchingly was Dr. Ring) and he said, “Oh that’s a mallet finger” http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=a00018. For most cases, they can just make a splint that covers one joint but not both. I couldn’t take it off even for showers for a few weeks and it is now straight and I have control over it. Insurance covered it. My perception is that the HMOs in Massachusetts don’t start by denying coverage where in some other parts of the country, that may be de rigeur.
That sounds like what my husband had to do when he injured a finger playing volleyball a few years ago. He also saw a hand specialist and I’m pretty sure everything was covered by insurance.
Thanks. I guess I should feel more guilty than I do. It’s what happens when it’s the third kid and she’s pursuing a sport at a very young age where injuries are possible, and she’s hurt and the coach says “It’s nothing, get back on the beam” and she does and doesn’t say anything to us about it and fast forward 12 or so years later and she ends up with a crooked pinkie that bothers her…so I guess I didn’t look closely at her fingers for a dozen years? Looking back on it, I’m not surprised and am lucky that it wasn’t anything worse!
Why is it that I’m always so TIRED lately. I am fine at the beginning of the week but then just flag at the end of the week. Today I couldn’t even get out of bed to go to the gym. I know that some of it is being overweight and getting older but I really need to have some ENERGY!!!
RM…when I am tired I have to look at what I have been eating. If I eat lots of bad carbs I am exhausted! Have you tried upping your protein a little??? I also have to pay attention to my water intake so I am not dehydrated.
Heading to the lake in a few minutes. Beautiful weather here.
RM, I was seriously thinking of starting a thread that asks empty nesters/people of a certain age how they get anything done. I get up in the morning and go to work, and when I get home, all I can think of is how nice it will be to sit and watch TV (we’re watching Upstairs Downstairs all the way through.) I keep wondering if this is okay and normal at my “advanced age” (to use all my energy at work)…but of course, doing nothing during the week but work and watch TV has to be awful for me. I haven’t even been jumping into the pool at night because the mosquitoes are TERRIBLE this year after all the rain we’ve had.
Of course, I dare not start such a thread, because I will be scolded by the marathon runners and the people who work 60 hours a week while running their own non-profit and the ones who live on steamed broccoli and love it.
I was thinking of setting extremely modest goals for myself for each upcoming week…I’m thinking VERY modest, like working out once between Monday-Thursday and cleaning out one drawer, something like that. Then when my goals have been accomplished, I can watch TV without guilt. Yes, I’m pathetic…but like you, RM, I am just so tired.
NM, your constructive suggestions are appreciated.
I have recently changed my eating and find that I’m even more tired. I’ve cut a LOT of the carbs out and doing salads and protein for dinner. Tonight’s dinner for example is a salad and chicken breast stuffed with a garlic cheese/basil/parsley like blend with tomatoes and cheese on top. Lunch will be yogurt and 2 pieces of fruit. Breakfast was a bowl of chex (there is my carbs for the day). I’m fine now and will be until about 2 this afternoon and then I’ll just start the downward spiral. I’ll be in bed tonight no later than 9 and be up tomorrow morning (hopefully) to go to the gym at 4:30. Since I’m more “with it” in the morning I’ve started doing 15-30 minutes of cleaning once I get back from the gym and before I get ready for work. Makes the mornings rough sometimes but allows my weekends to be more about me and what I want to do and less about what I HAVE to do. I try to be at my desk no later than 7:00. So 5-6 roughly gym time, by 6:30 I need to be getting ready for work to be at my desk by 7. My commute thank goodness is only about 15 minutes unless there is an accident or something like that. I’m very good about moving once I get going.
I doubt that MP. I just try to get things done while I’m awake. After work I’m lucky that I can get dinner on the table, clean up and water the plants.
I am in the middle of taking a training for my license renewal and the last segment was on centenarians. They seemingly have loads of energy and interests. They look forward and do not dwell on the past. Fifty is now the 3rd stage of life. Exercise is the #1 most important factor.
I was tired just listening to the lecture.
I want to know how we worked, had kids, made meals, managed the house and bills and still read books and watched TV just 10 years ago?
