Good for your older daughter, MP. Very frustrating that the store over-hired so badly. I’ve heard that before from kids. The ice cream shop is like that around here.
I just made arrangements to visit D in NYC in September. 
I think we’re going to get out of the city one day (via train) and get somewhere where we can rent a car – not sure if we’ll head out the island or up the Hudson. Whatever she’d like.
Good morning.
I need a weekend to recover from my weekend, but am otherwise unscathed by party followed by sib visit 
Missy, perhaps your H’s objection is that at home, she has somewhere to eat and sleep at no real extra expense…and he’s not optimistic she’ll find a job a this late date, which would then turn the venture into a summer vacation compliments of the folks, as opposed to a summer of industry to contribute to her school expenses
If that’s his concern, he could suggest to her that she find the job (remotely) in said town first to cover the nut, then present her accommodation plan.
Of course, my theory is colored by my own experience, and my own early workaholism, and recent observations of young college students living away from home to be with BFs
McSon’s gf is adorable, and I love her, but she is seriously under-employed and was given parental blessing for a similar plan this summer. In her case, its a bit different as she does struggle with rheumatic arthritis, so jobs that are physically demanding are a concern for her. Nonetheless, I think in some cases if one has the opportunity to get by without working, they will. Its just human nature. Industry is something that is habituated, and often by necessity
However, I think that can set a pattern that doesn’t serve young adults well later in life. I think its better to raise the bar and expect them to do something industrious or meaningful, or CREATE an opportunity for industry or meaningful contribution. It doesn’t have to be about money. Its more about the sometimes hard task we all face in inventing and reinventing a life wherever and whatever the circumstances, and feeling good about action to sustain ourselves.
I don’t know if I’m explaining this right and probably sound like something of a Calvinist, but its not quite that harsh
I am thinking more along the lines of a combination of depression and inaction that can deepen when couch-surfing and not having the rudder of a schedule or purpose. I don’t have to think too hard to remember such feelings from my late teenhood during the times I willfully chose to be away from home but was at loose ends. Or observing my one sister who floated that way quite a bit.
Maybe these are things your H is thinking about, but is afraid to say, since his vantage is unique as a Stay-At-Home-Dad. Then again, maybe her absence forces HIM to also reinvent himself a little, since he derived his own sense of purpose from that role and she is the last real dependent. That can be scary too. Might be good to check in with him to get a bead on it all.
So either way, I’ll just send the mojo for a resolution that works for everyone
Great wisdom and insight from kmc as always.
Good for your D1 , mp!
H’s argument is so weak…basically that everyone comes back the first summer after college and finds that it’s not “the same” (friend-wise); I guess everyone has this bad experience so why shouldn’t she? He also told me that she thinks she is “putting one over on us.” I told him that if we already know she will likely spend nights with the BF, how is she putting anything over on us? As for work, she wants to be first out of the gate looking for a “during the school year” job; if she comes moves back when everyone else does, everyone will be competing for the same jobs at the same time.
The issue is pretty much resolved, although I don’t know if H has resigned himself to it. She will return at the first of August (3 weeks before school starts; 2 weeks before she can move into her apartment.) She has a couple of doctor’s appointments that she agrees she needs to keep, so she will stay until those are over.
Y’all impress me so much with your thoughtful responses! Thank you so much!
^good you got it worked out. If her school is anything like mcson’s school, in-house p/t jobs will start posting about NOW so tell her to get her resume up-to-date and to search the uni intranet for the best-paid gigs That will keep her busy for the next two weeks before she moves, and will give your H a bright spot in the deal
Its also a good time to search and send resumes to local employers, telling them they may be planning fall staffing schedules and that she’ll be avail to meet first week of Aug. When she gets there, she can do a walk-in check, which will impress them and make her look uber ambitious
Hi All!
Back from a quick trip up and back from the lake. No internet there at the moment. We had some trees removed and when they ground out the stumps they cut our Dish line. Workers came today to lay and bury a new line. I seem to be spending a lot of time waiting for service workers lately!
Sunday was D2’s 24th birthday. She was in Chicago playing in a golf tournament so we didn’t celebrate with her until last night. We met for appetizers on a roof top patio in town and then had dinner inside. Beautiful setting.
H and I head to California on Sunday. Looking forward to visiting some wineries and hiking along the coast. The following weekend we have a wedding outside of SF. I think it will be lots of fun!
NM, Happy B day to you D! Sounds like my style of a celebration. Enjoy your trip!
My D is driving me a bit batty, as she did when I turned 60 which was 5 years ago.
I simply hate being the center of attention but adore being the person that makes a celebration for others.
I am not comfortable with my own B-day parties. In my entire childhood I had a 7 yr old tea party with 3 friends and at 9 had 2 friends go with me to the movies (mom dropped us off!) and we walked across the street for ice cream and then walked home a few miles. (ah the simple times)(although at that same theater my younger sis had a man try to go up her thigh and she told my older sis who told the manager and the police were called and they arrested him but then the story stops, guess it was “taken care of” but no Childrens Services interivews or police questionings. 1958).
I digress. I had not even thought that my upcoming B-day was going to be anything but then a friend asked me if I was going to do anything special for my 65. Then D got all over it.
sigh.
It is a funny time for me as I have no reachable wants at all. The only wants I have are pie in the sky–such as flying first class ( could we? yes, would we? no), finding the perfect lot to do a build, finding a work that I can do from home and when I want, losing 10 lbs.,having my siblings be nice to each other (what a dream, they are back at each other).
So told D I would like to rent a boat for the day. She has chosen a party pontton boat (most of my guest list are actually her age) and I was thinking a fast boat and skiing. :))
Happy Friday! Happy Birthay to NM D1 and to Oregon.
Casting about for something fun to do this weekend. it’s supposed to be really hot so forget outdoor activities. Have not heard back from a friend I texted. I’ll have to come up with something…
Oh, oregon…I could take you skiing at the lake if you were in Wisconsin!
Totally forgot to mention to bears have been sighted a mile or so from my house. Right in residential neighborhoods.
Oregon, happy happy upcoming birthday! Sounds like you are handling it with grace. After the party, you’ll have to rent a fast boat for your own little party.
Also happy birthday to NM D.
Bears! Oh my! (Someone had to say it.) There are all kinds of coyote reports around here (a teen thought he’d engage one at a movie theater parking lot - not a great decision on his part.) But I hear that coyotes are common in lots of populated areas.
Oregon, my “wants” are expensive, too, mostly related to a 29 year old house of which I am the original occupant (meaning no prior updates to get it sold.)
Older D is coming home for the weekend. A HS friend is getting married.
My material “wants” mainly deal with world-wide travel. I have wanderlust. Don’t need a better house or better car. I want to see the world! I “want” good health and to know my Ds will be “fine” when I am gone.
We have bears at the lake and coyotes and deer at home. Ish…
(Mountain) lions, bobcats, and bears. We’ve got 'em. Oh my.
I’m with you, NorthMinnesota. I don’t need more stuff, that is for sure.
No to more stuff. I told D that I want this party to turn out to be a baby shower for our "sort of " second D and her close friend. And if people must give me somethng they can give me nice bottle of wine. Oh–and they can sign them. nice.
H and I are planning a trip to Zion and Bryce Canyon this Sept. We will probably fly in and out of Salt Lake City and rent a small SUV. Still planning. A small trip but one I have wanted to take for a long time. Bryce C was my dear Aunt’s favorite.
About 5 minutes after I left for yoga this AM , H saw a bear walk past our front windows. He managed t get a picture of it in the backyard.
Going to a friends house tonight for a cookout which should be fun except for the weather.
I don’t want any more stuff either. I dream of downsizing.
Yikes! What kind? Does that impact walking and being outside?
It’s a black bear, about half grown. Supposedly you are not supposed to go toward it or run. There have been multiple sightings in the last 2 days. Pretty sure it’s just the one bear in our suburban development.
Bryce is amazing!
Good morning everyone! We’re back from our annual week at Family Camp on a very small island in the middle of Lake Winnipesaukee in NH. This was our 24th year – I guess you could say we like it! D and her BF were with us for 4 days; S, who worked on staff for 3 summers, couldn’t get the time off since his department is short-handed. We ended up having fabulous weather, with only a little rain in the middle of the night on Friday. Now we’re back at the beach.
When I finish this post I’m off to speed clean the house before “hotel week” starts. Somehow most of our summer visitors ended up scheduled back to back …
We had all three kids at home for the weekend. Doesn’t get much better than all five of us playing in the pool.
Older D was home for a wedding. Funny, D is so un-attached to her HS friends. She almost didn’t come home for this wedding but she wanted some pool time. Here I thought this particular group would be friends forever, all be in each others’ weddings, etc. Almost all of them turned out for this wedding, I think just because it’s the first. H and I care a lot more about what all the girls are doing and where they are living than D does.
I guess it’s a lot healthier to move on from HS than it is to consider it the best time of your life and try to hold onto it.