That sounds very awkward, FallGirl. What about emailing her back and saying something like what you’ve said here-that you don’t feel comfortable calling the family but if she talks with them and they are open to having neighbors help with meals, to please get back to you about getting you on the schedule?
ShawWife would call someone who knows Jane to ask if a) she is having chemo; and b) whether she’d appreciate a group trying to get her some meals. There is a website on which people organize stuff like this – some of you will know the name.
Good suggestions. I don’t really know anyone to call and ask about “Jane” as she has never been close to any of the other women in the neighborhood. I think I will email back to the neighbor who brought this up and tell her I don’t feel comfortable calling Jane or her family. And I will keep my eyes and ears open as far as the website thing (I know what is is too, but can’t think of the name).
I think the website I was talking about is CaringBridge.
I’m pretty sure that you can’t just browse caringbridge and find someone’s page. I think you have to be given a link.
Our church uses Sign up Genius (signupgenius.com). There are probably other similar services. CaringBridge (and CarePages) work well for keeping friends up to date on someone’s illness, treatment, etc.
Happy holidays, everyone. The countdown is on around here…which must explain how I’ve come to work every night till bedtime 
what a week!
Sending hugs to those who’ve lost friends…this time of year is bittersweet. Wish my SIL would come up for the holidays. I hate to think of her alone and surviving a child is probably the hardest thing. My BFF who lost her daughter (my god daughter) years back spent the first 5 years afterwards on a family vaca at Xmas because Xmas was just too hard. This year, like last, we’ll get to see them, which I look forward to. They’re part of my Xmas since their first together when BFF was 16 and living with us
Mcson remains a adorable klutz. He designed the sweetest ring for gf…she’s a big space fan so the modeled the golden record from voyager as a background for a stone meant to look like Milky Way but the stone was a few mm too large in diameter so he’s been grinding away on the thing with the dremil the last few nights fine motor skills aren’t his strong suit so its a little painful to watch
He had the ring and the background “plate” 3d printed so it was the gem seller who was a little off on measurement. Meanwhile, Gf has also made him a beautiful ring artistically commemorating their trip to sleeping bear dunes. These two are just too cute
Gotta run but a big hi and holiday hugs from Michigan
kmc, they do sound like such a cute couple!
I’ve always heard that…do something totally different. Years ago, the husband of one of the middle school teachers was killed in a work-related accident…it happened on her birthday. Friends convinced her to reclaim her birthday and every year since then she has gone on a cruise. It’s not during a school vacation, but she takes the time anyway and no one begrudges her the time.
Returned home late Wednesday. For my work timesheet, we’re supposed to calculate time spent getting from door to door - hotel in the UAE to home, in my case. I had a whopping 22.5 hours just on Wednesday!
S returned home on Thursday, but isn’t done yet. He has a paper due on the last day of finals. He took a “mental health day” yesterday and saw the new Star Wars movie.
D will be coming on Wednesday for a few days. It was nice to tour London and the UAE with her - since she studied abroad in London, and minored in Middle Eastern studies, it was like having my own personal tour guide. She gave notice at her job and starts her new position on January 11.
Missypie, our decorating has been the opposite of yours. Before the in-laws came in October, H decided to move all the remaining boxes in our apartment to storage. That included all our Christmas decorations - tree, ornaments, stockings, wreath, wrapping paper, cards, decorative items.He doesn’t want to go retrieve them. Our tree he put in storage was having issues: it was pre-lit with the upper tier of lights not working, tends to lean, so yesterday he ordered a very inexpensive tree that is pre-lit and comes with ornaments. It’s supposed to arrive Tuesday.
I asked S if he cared if he didn’t have his stocking. We don’t have a fireplace anyway and last year I had to hang them off the knobs of some cabinets. He said as long as he received the contents (traditionally candy) he didn’t care about the delivery method.
One perk: we’re usually terrible about taking down the tree/decorations, so this year that shouldn’t be a struggle. One year it was still up on Valentine’s day.
Welcome home c_q. Sounds like the tourist part of the trip was great, but 22.5 hours of work in one day? Wow!
S and I are going into DC today with his friend and his friend’s mom (who is my friend). We’ll do some museum and then have a nice dinner (the boys are big time foodies). This is an annual thing we have done for several years and it’s always fun. S’s friends have started coming home so he is pretty busy now.
I have finished up my shopping except for one more gift card, decorating is done, wrapping is mostly done.
Finished the tote for GS to put his blocks in. H made him blocks for Christmas - they just fit! Tote was fun to make with the new machine but it took so much longer because I had to learn things as I went about the new sewing machine. Embroidered it with “MY BLOCKS” on the outside. Wrapping is still ongoing! Sweater for D still has a ways to go. Front and back are done and just started on one sleeve. Should be done if I don’t bother with things like sleep this week. 
There is always so much more I want to to but never it seems enough time to get it all done! Shopping though is complete! Thank goodness I can cross one thing off my list. Speaking of lists I think it’s time to write another one for the next few days! Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate.
Is it Monday already?!
RM, you are being such a wonderful grandmother…a tote with homemade blocks with embroidery on it. Perfection!!!
Poor son is getting a taste of what sharing holidays with a wife’s family will be like. Because of her married brother’s concession to always spend Thanksgiving with his wife’s family, Fiance’s family celebrates Thanksgiving the Saturday after. Future MIL now says that because we will always get to have them for Thanksgiving, they will always get them for Christmas. Ah, the negotiation that couples go through over the holidays! I’m just telling Son that it is an issue between he and Fiance, not the parents’ issue.
I’m experiencing anticipatory exhaustion, which I’m trying to meditate/pray my way out of. Once Mom arrives tomorrow, I can’t just tell everyone “you’re on your own” for food (while I wrap gifts, etc.) If no one pays attention to Mom at any point, she will say she shouldn’t have come/is a burden, etc. Crossing my fingers that she keeps the crying to a minimum. Right after she leaves, younger D has her tonsils taken out. Once again, H has talked me in to agreeing to have people over on the 30th.
I have this fantasy of spending a couple of days alone in a cabin in the mountains, with a pot of chili, some wine, some good books and a few big lazy cats.
Meanwhile, H never misses a workout. The Christmas cards he’s sending to friends and relatives may arrive in January, but he never misses a workout. I know there’s a lesson there, but he has bought only a few presents and has wrapped none.
While I’m venting…end of year work for my regular clients is fine…we have exchanged deadlines and schedules. But now three of my partners have cropped up with work to be done as favors (meaning non, or barely billable) for their friends, friends of clients, etc. Mind you, these are not widows or orphans…these are business people who wait until the last minute to take care of things and then call their buddy the lawyer. Fine when it’s your own buddy, but being drawn in to help someone else’s friend’s friend who likely won’t pay is just too much.
C-q, I wouldn’t feel a bit bad about having the decorations in storage. You are really making the most of your travels, living where you do, and I so admire that. I feel like you are really living!
RM - the block and bag for your GS sound wonderful!
I am officially done with shopping. Had today off and went to lunch with a friend who was also off. Everything is wrapped, but I don’t buy a lot. Back to work tomorrow and Wednesday.
I probably have about 100 gifts that are or need to be wrapped in total. I have about 70 maybe done.
Will hope to hear more about your trip someday c_q.
Visit with S is going well. He has been more talkative than usual (meaning 5 sentences instead of one).
DIL is easy to be with for me. She and D finally have something in common–school–so given their age difference of 8.5 years that is a good thing.
Took D and DIL shopping for DIL’s Christmas gift from us–lots of clothes for clinic days. Of course, D managed a pair of spendy jeans and a top…even thought she had a big gift of her India ticket (B-day and Christmas but much more than usual).
G’Son is now fun! He will be 4 in a few months. He loves his new two wheeler and has been all over the kitchen dining area. He is so good now that we must figure out where to take him as it is high winds and rain now.
mp, H NEVER misses a workout. It is the center of his universe.
As for your mother–totally get it as I remember the stomachaches when I was around mine. Not the same problems as you have but still just utter stress.
As for the family paying attention to her–pay them! Pay them well. Give them 1 hour shifts and make it worth their time. Totally tacky but bet you would get results. Maybe just asking would work but you need assurance that they have your back.
RM–your gifts sound so lovely!! Bet you could sell on Etsy.
Re 22.5 hours in a work day, if you do it right (as one of my lawyer friends did), flying back from Asia, you can bill more than 24 hours in a work day.
Lol. I need to learn to bill that instead of just working that
Missy, I would be happy to send missy-H a firmly worded email from Santa about the nature of your Xmas gifts this year:
Gift #1 - He is to WRAP all the gifts, even his own
Gift #2 - He is to send you to a cabin in the woods for a few days
Gift #3 - He is to entertain your mother in a meaningful way while you go have a spa day.
I anoint him with Santa mojo so that he is your willing servant this holiday season
RM, I am betting you’re a fast wrapper like the guy in that Japanese video demonstrating department store rapid-wrapping I tried it that way and the results were kinda funny so I resorted to my usual strategy which is covering all sins with the distraction of wide band glitter ribbon
I found that setting up my counter height portable table with my all my wrapping gear in reach made the wrapping go reasonably quickly over a few intense sessions this year. When my back got sore I dropped the height to kindergardener level and sat on a step stool. I love that adjustable table! Next year I’m going to o a step further and mcgyver up a paper roll holder on the end! Mch thought it was funny that I’d set up a “elf” station but I got twice as much done twic as fast because I was motivated to be finished to break it all down and store it before my party.
Party was lovely and my beef tenderloin-merlot-porcini reduction turned out so well that the maybe-in-laws vegetarian disaster is fading from my memory. Meat is simply my wheelhouse
The night after the party was early round-one Xmas with mcson’s gf before she flew out to see her folks. Grandkitty gift, which was a funny keyboard that makes harmonic meow sounds, was a hit…especially when mcson payed Carmina Burana on it
The “space-scene” pendant I got mcson’s gf to match the space ring he made her was also a hit. Because she loves to bake and purée despite her arthritis, I also got her a nice, authentic French tamis (its easier on hands than crank sifter and is likewise indispensable for soups…she was admiring the chef’s at the cooking party). She was delighted. It was a nice, chill night.
Last night was my friend’s annual solstice party which always leaves me feeling renewed and happy. I like the ceremony of giving the things that don’t serve to the death of the year and invoking the things that do serve into the new light of the new year.
So I feel fortunate this season to have had a trifecta of joyful pre-Xmas gatherings.
Likely a stark contrast to the 'parade of neurosis" we call Christmas in Canukistan Hi ho. Fun awaits, I’m certain!
Although I would LOVE my gifts to really look well wrapped, neat and tidy I almost always leave this to the last and by that time it’s just - get the paper on and as long as you can’t see what’s inside of it we are good. So yes I’m fast. Not neat but fast. One of these days I will get my act together and plan things MONTHS in advance. Although this year I PLANNED to do my Christmas cards (make them that is) in September but didn’t do them until late November. So planning doesn’t always work out.
Working through Thurs morning and then home to finish up the last of everything. First sleeve of the sweater is almost done. Expect to finish it tonight (I hope!).
kmc, thanks for the good wishes/commands. Traffic was light this morning. I guess I’m surprised how many folks must be making a week of it. I’ll leave at around 2 to pick up Mom and may not be back for the rest of the year. (Depends on how younger D does after having her tonsils removed.) Clients are quiet. I guess whatever was so urgent on Friday is no longer urgent. (Happens every year.)
^Parade of neuroses. Best of luck.
ShawSon arrived home today from India. Brought back a cold but he also organized his friends to negotiate in bulk at the markets. For example, they bought 70 scarves and essentially held an auction. He then bought a few because the price of these exquisite scarves was so low. [He had Indian kids there with him so he knew he was getting a good price]. Nice presents for ShawWife and ShawD. The world is not always prepared for this kid.
ShawWife picked him up at the airport, they delivered to ShawD a dresser we had taken back from my mother’s house (needed the brawn to take the dresser up the stairs) and then ShawD came as well.
Speaking of neuroses, my mother pointedly and repeatedly thanked me for the things I was doing. We went and saw a condo she should buy but won’t. Price is good. Very spacious. Perfect neighborhood in walking distance of many things and with underground parking. But, the laundry is on the second floor and not in the unit. I set up her printer and fixed her computer and put her docs in DropBox as the whole system is so unstable. She should normally say thanks but never does – ShawWife thought she said thankyou more times on this trip than in all my other trips combined. Someone must have coached her, but it was nice.