Glad you could be there with her, Shaw. Especially when my H was a hospice chaplain, he always made sure to be there with any family members after the death. It can be a very upsetting experience and one most people haven’t done before.
As usual, all the credit goes to ShawWife.
I’m sure you were a big help as well. My FIL died in the family home somewhat unexpectedly at age 81 (he had been in the hospital for a couple of days , released as being okay. No kids left in their town so H drove hours to help settle him back home when he was released from the hospital ). FIL was stable, H left Sunday night to get back for work, and MIL called Monday morning to say FIL was gone that morning. Drinking juice one minute, gone the next. The neighbor who got on the scene immediately and waited for the police, ambulance type things , was a godsend. Closest child of 3 was about 5 hours away and got there later in the day. But, the neighbor and her husband were wonderful . We will always be grateful as I’ll bet this woman will be with you and your wife.
Shaw - I’m sure she appreciated you and your wife being there. How terrible.
FG and KMC - hope you both feel better shortly.
Nothing much going on here. It’s been a hot dry summer for us so lots of outdoor activities. Get to see the kids most weekends which is nice. Grandkids are growing like weeds. Doing some planning on the wedding front.
Trying to keep calm…I feel so unsettled today. I can’t not pay attention to politics. Visiting my mother this Thursday-Sunday. It will be lots of yard work and lots of listening to her; I assume a lot of talk about death. Trying to just breathe and enjoy this nice cup of tea I just made.
Sorry you’re feeling so unsettled, missypie. Hope the visit with your mom does not end up being too bad. Does she still enjoy outings that you could do together at all?
Good luck MP. My MIL keeps threatening that she won’t be here forever. What is it with older people that they concentrate so much on death? Maybe I’ll be like that as well - only time will tell. I hope not!
My mother was like that toward the last couple of years of her life. Seems like talking about death goes with the territory for some older people. They are seeing lots of their friends, family or spouse become frail or die, they probably are declining themselves. As my mother would say, It’s tough getting old.
I don’t know if we’ve discussed these books here, but I recently read the books “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande, and “When Breath Becomes Air” by Paul Kalanithi. Both deal with illness and dying (the second is a first-hand account). With my parents in their late 80s and in declining health, and my brother having cancer and recently dying, unfortunately it’s been a lot on my mind recently.
There’s a balance between not being obsessed with death and dying and talking about nothing else, and being able to talk about it in a healthy way. I think our culture really avoids discussions of death, and since it’s unavoidable for everyone, it’s good to be able to discuss it openly and honestly.
Anyway, I recommend both books.
I think maybe I’ve just been exposed to more death than your average person so I just look at it as a fact of life and know that it isn’t something that I can change. It’s going to happen - when and how are the unknowns and I’m okay with that. Don’t know that I would want to know. My grandfather whom I was very close to died when I was 8 - we lived with him and my grandmother. Than in the span of basically less than 8 years as an adult I basically lost my entire family other than a cousin and her children - even her husband had passed. Maybe just being exposed to it I just except and expect it.
Mom’s lymphoma will get her (if high BP doesn’t first.) She won’t have a biopsy to obtain a clearer diagnosis to get an idea of exactly what it is and how long she has…I see her point since she won’t agree to treatment…I just don’t feel equipped to be her spiritual/psychological confidant/counselor as she faces death.
Lymphoma is what got my mom at age 87. Is there some kind of ministry at her church, a trained volunteer that could talk to her? I’m sure you know this already, but if the doctors ever indicate she has only a few months left, hospice can be a good resource. Good luck. I know it is tough.
Wow shaw, I’m glad you and shaw wife were there for your friend.
mp- Good luck with the visit to your mom. It sounds like such a difficult situation. I wish you peace.
I second the recommendation of the Atul Gawande book. A work friend suggested it to me and I have passed it on to others who are dealing with elderly parents.
I called in sick today which I was loath to do as I have never called in and it’s been almost 8 years. Saw the doctor and ended up with nasal spray and a few other meds and feel somewhat better.
Healing thoughts and prayers to all who need them.
Shaw…what a help you and shaw wife were!
missy…weather in MN looks glorious for your trip this week. Hoping you are able to offer some peace and comfort to your mom and that you find strength to make it through the week!
I am also horrified and discouraged with the election nonsense. I read a little blurb comparing England’s ability to quickly get a new Prime Minister after Brexit and how we drag out our election process for several years. I abhor the negativity.
Have been surviving the high heat at the lake.
MN, thanks for the good wishes but it’s H’s mother who is in MN. He and Son are going up to visit her at the same time I am going to southern IL to visit my mother.
Ahhhh…seems I am confusing so much these days! 
My book club is reading When Breath Becomes Air right now.
I let my cohost assign it after half the troops balked at he notion of reading Annie Prouxl’s new tome, Barkskins (at 770 pages)
More than half my club work in healthcare…eg one is a VP of hospital network, another an RPN prof, etc. So they love these types of books
Speaking of books, check out The Girls by Emma Cline. That “kid” is McSons age and landed a $2 million advance. I don’t always say this, but I predict she’ll be a good investment for random house even at that unheard of number. I like her style and really felt she did a wonderful job of writing from a middle-age pov.
Missy, sendin ya the mom-mojo. 18 mildly dysfunctional fam members from Canukistan are en route to the compound here this weekend so if the going gets tough, hop in the car from southern il and drop mom off in Michigan. They’ll whip her into shape in no time And if not, there’s always Beergaritas for you
This is way late, but so glad to see it:
http://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/fda-strengthens-warning-powerful-antibiotics-n617176?cid=sm_tw
@missypie I never venture into this thread. But today I clicked on it and that link was the first thing I saw. I was prescribed levofloxicin today for a sinus infection that won’t go away.
I will not pack for H and Son. I will not pack for H and Son. I will not pack for H and Son. I will not pack for H and Son. A woman was just nominated for President and H is trying to guilt me into helping them pack. Older D packed all by herself for dance camp when she was in 8th grade. Why do the adult males in my house think they can’t pack?