Sevmom - discussions on pay come up quite a bit with my friends and myself. Mostly because as women in a technology field we do compare notes to make sure that we are on par with some of the men. Hate being paid less when we do as good a job.
For taxes I guess we discuss that a lot as well. Not so much what we pay or complain about them but more that this towns taxes are going up for this reason etc. Not so much discussion regarding our taxes on our pay - more town and state taxes and where is the money going.
Definitely discuss retirement and where we want to be when we retire as far as lifestyle. Some of my friends are planning on going out very early (late 40’s) but their wants/needs on lifestyle are less than what I want. They don’t want/need fancy vacations, have hobbies that don’t require lots of funding (running, kayaking, etc) and are happy puttering around at home. Me – not so much. I want to travel, still be able to spend money on the grandkids etc. Hence I still work.
These are all topics though that come up on girls night along with complaining about husbands of course!
Those sound like fun discussions, RochesterMom! Certainly timing of retirement, where to retire comes up, general discussion of taxes that everyone pays comes up. That was not really what I was referring to but wasn’t clear on. When it veers to more sensitive topics, or resentment of what one person is making in a job or getting in retirement based on private or government employment , that could lead to some interesting discussions! Those are the things I try to steer clear of. There are plenty of people making great money in private employment. Everyone makes choices in terms of what type of employment to seek. We are not military but live near a base. Have met lots of officers and their families over the years. Military benefits and retirement can look attractive but there are sacrifices involved. From what I’ve read, most people don’t make it to 20 years. And if you don’t , I don’t think you get anything? But, I’m sure someone will correct me if that is not correct.
For the most part we have all be friends for a LONG time and know enough what topics might land us in hot water with each other. I don’t think any of us actually expect any of us to change each others mind. Just discuss and understand where each of us is coming from. My one friend who is talking retirement was an emergency room dr. Now she works for an insurance company vetting claims I think. She just has decided that she has ridden the coaster too long for her and has enough in savings (or so she thought) to go out. That of course was before she sold her house, bought a new house and is in the process of gutting the new house to make it exactly what she wants. She wanted something that was all 1 floor for her “advanced” years. I think she will work a couple more years to recoup.
I want something on 1 level too when we move. My sister is retired and bought a ranch house this spring. It is perfect for her and should allow her to stay there for many years, or even possibly until the bitter end!
@CBBBlinker , Do you have any exciting plans with your son when he gets back to the States? I will see my S2 in about 3 weeks for the first time since he moved to Denver in August. I’m looking forward to it.
Well, I think extent of the “exciting plans” is just seeing him in person! By his calculation he gets to Boston 2 days before we return from a 10 day trip. (He was a little unsure, dealing with the whole international date line thing …) At any rate, I told him he better still be at our condo in Cambridge when we get back! He said he would be, if only because almost all his buddies from college, etc are now working in the Boston area. Hopefully he’ll get to see lots of family before starting the road trip to FL to his next base. He’s also visiting friends on the way south. He’s very excited about his next job assignment; I’m less excited since when he’s not at the base in FL he could be sent anywhere in the world. Originally he said he’d be 6 months in FL and then 6 months out and about; repeat 2 times for a total of 3 more years in the USAF. But, this is the military, so it’s not guaranteed the alternating 6 months is set in stone. We have no idea if he’ll be able to make D’s wedding next September. I’ve learned the best way for me to deal with the ups and downs is to focus on the here and now and not worry about what may, or may not happen. So, at the moment I’m excited he’ll be in FL for the next several months, at least.
Returned late last night after working last week in California. Had beautiful weather and horrendous traffic! I’m not scheduled to travel out of the area for the next 4 weeks. I will be doing one training remotely and another training is in the area, but does not require getting on an airplane.
We sad goodbye to our sweet old dog a little over a week ago. It was time but still so sad. I realized it’s the first time in 28 years I have not had a dog at home.
S is back at his UG school for homecoming this weekend. D is going back to her school later this month - she’s active in her city’s alumni group and they are sending her for leadership training, and her company is having her do a recruiting activity while she’s there. So glad both of them enjoyed their UG experience and loved their schools!
H and I are going to see pianist Lang Lang with the New York Philharmonic tonight! And Monday is a work holiday for both of us.
We are almost done with our year end close so I have been working long hours. In addition our long term tech support guy is leaving and we said goodbye to a long time member of our department last week. She didn’t work for the same manager, but we were friends. And she was that one person in the office (because there is always one) who everyone told everything to, so she always knew what was going on. Before she left, she hinted at changes coming in our department. She knows something and I hope its not bad. I don’t need more stress right now.
Fall girl, fingers crossed! Sending you the good mojo.
CQ, sorry about your fur baby, sending cyber hugs.
CBB, excited for you that you get to see your son!
We had a little dinner with mcson and gf last night to celebrate Canadian thanksgiving and having them near at least for the moment was one of the things I listed in my “grateful-fors.”
Its 43 degrees this morning and its totally weird to still have the pool open. We bit the bullet and ordered an air dome in order to try to run longer so I can keep up my physiotherapy in-pool.
It won’t ship for at least 2-3 more weeks (they custom fabricate them) so in the mean time I’m using an “in-pool” solar cover we rigged up, plus a leaf net I’ve bungied around the perimeter, in order to keep the pool warm, clean and open.
I’m beginning to think this was a completely crazy notion…I spent all weekend tinkering with the set up instead of cleaning out my terrace beds
Fall girl - good luck. Maybe something good? I try to think positively.
CQ - ohh it is so difficult to say good bye to pets! So sorry for your loss!
KMC- - Good luck with the pool. Hope it all works out.
Sat for rainy and I just couldn’t get myself going so did very little. Yesterday was a bit better. Waiting for next weekend as H and I are going away for the weekend. Something we never do but we need a break and I think the 2 of us will enjoy the time away. Just a couple of hours away but no taking care of either our house or helping the kids so truly a weekend away with just the 2 of us. Looking forward to it and I don’t even care what the weather does! We’ll find something to do regardless.
@college_query - Sorry to hear about your dog; always hard.
It’s quite nippy and windy here this morning – can’t even imagine getting into a pool, @kmcmom13!
Saturday we went to the wedding of the daughter of good friends of ours. (Our D and fiance attended, too; S was invited, but obviously wasn’t there.) This is the one with the bride who originally wanted a $1200 veil. Well, she didn’t get that veil – her mother put her foot down and said, “No way!” She (mom) found someone on Etsy who makes custom veils for about 1/6 of the cost. Both the bride and groom have quite large extended families. so the reception venue was packed. Lots of fun, but honestly, the band was SOOOOOO loud! H’s ears actually hurt by the time we left.
We’ve had several discussions with D & fiance about their wedding music. They get it. Their DJ has said he’ll absolutely turn down the volume if asked; he’ll have a set-up during dinner and play jazz at a low enough volume to truly be background music.
In other news – through the magic of social media, D sent us a photo of S at the beach in Abu Dhabi, so at least we know he got there OK. The woman he’s visiting is the D of good friends of H’s family. Our D isn’t Facebook friends with her, but another extended family member is – so the photo got passed to D, who sent it to us. Next he goes to India.
CBB - Glad your S made it to Abu Dhabi okay. So much travel! Hopefully he enjoys it.
Love the info on the wedding music. Currently I’m trying to figure out if we need something other than the DJ for the actual wedding. Wedding is outside at the venue (let’s hope for good weather or we will just hand Umbrellas to everyone. I don’t know if we should have some trio or flutist or something and then the DJ or if the DJ can handle it. Also it’s at the same venue but in a different part so would there need to be another set of speakers? Just things I think about in my spare time. I think we have settled on the DJ but still need to figure out this for the actual wedding. What are your plans for this? Do you have a similar situation?
@RochesterMom - We WILL have good weather!! So, with that in mind, the ceremony will be at the camp’s outdoor chapel. D may try to hire a string quartet, but if not, the DJ will have a set-up there and will have appropriate music playing before the ceremony. (The camp has a sound system for the chapel, but it’s not that great – as we can attest from all the times we’ve attended the Sunday chapel service there.) So, that’s still a little up in the air. The DJ will have a sound system in the Dining Hall for the wedding dinner, playing something like jazz. And then he’ll have the main sound system in the lodge for the after-dinner dancing. Once you decide on the DJ, he/she can help you decide how many set-ups are needed, based on the venue layout and where things are happening. (Ha! Don’t I sound like I actually know what I’m talking about?)
I forgot to mention – D & fiance found a place that makes pies and has provided them for weddings. (Did I mention they’re not doing a cake, but want pie instead?) They bought an apple pie to try, and brought some for us to try when they came down for the wedding we all went to. End result? I told them they need to find another supplier! I make a pretty decent apple pie, and the one they brought was just plain bland; no flavor at all. I figure apple pie will be the most popular, so it’s important to have a good one.
Yeah, a good apple pie should have lots of flavor. I like apple, cherry, blackberry, raisin pies. What types of pies are you thinking of besides apple? Good luck with finding someone!
I have always objected to bands playing in the periods people want to talk. The whole point of these gatherings is for clans to a) join; and b) for old friends and relatives to catch up. We haven’t looked at weddings yet but for Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and for our wedding millennia ago, we told the band/DJ that they were only supposed to play at specific times. For our wedding, we asked my brother (a musician) to pull together a band in Toronto. His old friend is one of the best known musicians there (played/plays for folks like Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin) who moved to Toronto for a woman. He asked his friends to join him and we had a spectacular band. We had a great time and so did they.
I took ShawD to look at a couple of cities which were on the list of prospective places to move/work. We went to Portsmouth NH and Portland ME and will be going to Portland OR and maybe Denver/Boulder. :Her first conclusions: Portsmouth is like her hometown with a few more stores so she would only move there for a perfect job. Portland ME a nice place to live. But, as she reflected on the visit, she said, “There are a number of places that I could happily live so I really ought to figure out the ideal job and apply for that in cities that are above the line and get the experience I will need for the next step.” So, she applied for jobs in Austin,TX, Napa CA, Amherst MA, Seattle (I think), and a Boston suburb.
shaw my sister lives in Portsmouth NH and it’s lovely there.
Re wedding music - D had a pianist and some strings for the ceremony and the cocktails immediately after. The reception has a DJ. Ceremony was outside.
FallGirl, Portsmouth is lovely – looks very similar in some ways to where we live (they both put the capital Q in Quaint. The question is whether there are enough a) young people; b) interesting young people; c) interesting things happening to make it a good place for an unmarried 23 yo to live. It has a population of under 21,000, I believe.
If the water is 90 degrees, I find you don’t mind the cold air The keeping-the-water-90-degrees that’s the tricky part I also hot tub first before doing the physio.
On apple pie: I might just be weird, but we have a popular orchard/destination know for its wine, pies, and homemade donuts among other things. I went there Sunday to pick up a pie and had to literally wait in a long line for an hour just to get into the bakery., Which was no fun on the bum knee. I did so because Mch loves an apple pie at I was doing a mini-celebration of Canadian Thanksgiving.
I was underwhelmed by the pie after all that…beautiful crust but the apples were a little more tart than I like. I don’t entirely get what the wait was about, or why people flock there in hordes. But the cider was heavenly and wholly worth it!
The keeping-the-water-90-degrees that’s the tricky part