^ oh, no kmc…
Happy Halloween everyone. I have 3 big Costco boxes of full size Hershey bars that MUST leave my house. Or else.
Finally felt better over the weekend, but H and S were both a little under with the bug I had last week though a milder form. Got lots done around the house, went to yoga twice and ran both days. Had lunch with a good friend yesterday.
Overall a quite weekend but very nice.
I have not signed up to participate in trick-or-treat for my building because I don’t want to be tempted by leftover candy. Or sampling.
Went to a couple of museum exhibits on Saturday, then we took out S and his gf for dinner. A good day.
Glad you are feeling better, FG. Kmc, hope your H recovers quickly.
“Looking forward” to my first colonoscopy on Wednesday. Tomorrow is prep day!
cq-make sure your prep is really cold. You can even put it on ice, use a straw, truck a mint or had candy in your cheek as you drink through the straw. And hold your nose.
good luck!
km, LOL at your description–it was fabulous.
I emptied my office yesterday. Opened it in 1995. Very odd feeling. I will use a colleagues office a day a
month but still very surreal. I have no idea what there is for the next chapter. A fairly healthy 66 seems too young to rest. Isn’t this when we are all suppose to be so busy with the grandkids that we have no time for ourselves? That is not what I want but see how it filled in the spaces.
I have now had two Mah Jongg classes cancelled on me! And my glass cutting is going badly.
But the D and S is doing great and so far I have refused to the the rain get to me.
D is in Wisconsin eating cheese curds right now. There for an interview.
Send your magic!
Magic being sent Oregon.
oregon101, we all need in our lives community, meaning and structure. Retiring (or largely doing so) can take away some or all of these three. I’m going to assume that you have a good community (husband, kids/grandkids, friends). If so, then I’d work on the other two.
In particular, this is the time for you to do things that you find deeply fulfilling – things that give you a sense of meaning. Here’s how I am working on it. I get great satisfaction from thinking through hard things that other people don’t do so well – in particular deconstructing basic aspects of living in a way that helps people make better choices. For example, I am trying (not well at the moment) to write a book on how to think about career choices over a life trajectory (but I have to do my part on a 10th anniversary edition of one of my co-authored books). I also derive meaning from helping people make peace or solve societal conflicts, so I try to work on one pro bono project a year involving a civil war or large conflict and am on an NGO that has a very, very long-term vision of uniting the Abrahamic peoples so that they focus more on what they have in common than on what divides them. [Alas, I just endured a board meeting of said NGO that met Friday afternoon, Friday dinner, Saturday morning and afternoon and dinner, and Sunday morning activity and afternoon meeting – I skipped Saturday dinner and Sunday morning as I had a German colleague visiting]. If I slow down, I will do more things like this. For example, I’d like to share my wisdom – that businesses pay lots of $$ for – in Vietnam (but haven’t found an easy way to do that).
And, most people need to work on structure. Regular meetings or groups. One of my mentors used to get up every morning early and write from 6 AM to 10 AM. I have my PT/personal trainer come in three times a week in the morning. In an ideal world, the social structure you create supports you in the activities that give you meaning and add to your community.
shaw - I am not near retirement yet , but I need to bookmark your post.
Gee and I have been thinking that when I retire I’m going to LOVE having minimal or no structure. Get up when I want, go to bed when I want, eat when I want, etc. 
I’m just more creative and free flowing type that has struggled through the years to fit into a structured environment. I mean I do well in it but my creativity shows through sometimes too much. I really want the flexibility to not be so structured and have time for my creative outlets - sewing, cooking, knitting, etc. I can see myself picking up spinning my own yarn - just never have the time. Now my H is a bit more structured and will want meals on a certain schedule and will probably go to bed and get up at a certain time. The issue there will be if my wanting less structure will clash with his structure.
RM, my sense is that mental health is related to community, meaning and structure. If you have two of three, no problem. One or none: depression or other problems much more likely.
ShawWife is the epitome of creative. The creativity includes the art she produces but includes how she cooks, what’s in our house (we have an 8 foot tall suit of armor in our entry way with pearls on it, many sculptures of hands from around the world, …,), what’s around our house (she embedded colored glass marbles in our driveway when we paved it, in the town sidewalk when they installed it, and in the street near our house when they repaved it, and on and on). Our dining room table is typically so artistically laid out that people take pictures. Our first cleaning lady called me downstairs and pointed to the table and said, “Is it art or can I clean it up?” People copy how she wraps presents. We used to have a lamp made from an ancient bellows on wheels being discarded from a hospital and an upper body manikin discarded by a tailor. People frame her invitations to parties (she hates this). And on and on.
She’s now doing a residency at a museum in Western Massachusetts. But on a day-to-day basis, she doesn’t encounter people in her work and her work gives her minimal community (unlike those with office jobs). So, she schedules exercise every AM with someone, coffee or tea with people in the afternoon, lots of folks for dinner. Without that, she’d be lonely and also not be able to create what she creates (she did a piece last week at the museum comprised of 15 2.5’ x 2.5’ panels). This week, she said she made breakthrough. I think that being creative probably benefits from less structure than one finds in a typical office environment, but having no structure could be a real problem for most people.
I think retirees and SAHMs and SAHDs after kids go to college risk losing two or three of community, meaning and structure and that is a problem.
Your observations resonate with me, Shaw 
I didn’t last long on Maternity leave when mcson was born because we had just moved to a new city and I’d worked long hours in my former job and I felt a little lost without the structure and the community. My publisher had predicted that I wouldn’t last a month…and he was right…I’d started ad hoc nighttime editing/writing pretty much after a month even though I was on fully paid mat leave. My husband at the time thought I was nuts, and really seemed to resent my apparent “need” to work. The difference was that I loved working, and he didn’t.
McH-2 is another kettle o fish. He will work whether we (the company) want him to or not We joke now that at 60, he’s “semi retired” because he takes Sat and Sun mornings off and only logs about 8 hours on weekend, and he now generally shuts down around 7ish for dinner during the week
Survived the colonoscopy and don’t have to have another for 10 years. The procedure was fine but the prep was not. >:P
I have been very anxious about the upcoming election. Our church is hosting an interfaith Post-Election Service of Healing and Reconciliation on Wednesday evening. I have friends and relatives who post horribly vitriolic things on FB about my candidate of choice. S registered to vote using our home address, so he’ll be here Monday night, spend the night, vote early Tuesday then head back to classes (about 1.5 hours via subway).
Starting to plan out Thanksgiving dinner. Both kids and their significant others will be here. Trying to plan our limited refrigerator space, what I will make from scratch vs. what I will purchase already-made. H proposed going out to eat but I want leftovers (but not too many!) and also love the aroma of a roasting turkey. We went out 2 years ago but there were just 3 of us, we had just moved here and still had most of our belongings in boxes.
Need to get out and enjoy what promises to be a gorgeous autumn day. Hope everyone has a good weekend!
c_q I share your election anxiety. I like the Interfaith Service idea and wish my church was doing one (I’m actually surprised we are not). I plan to go to a yoga class on Tuesday evening partly to stay away from the TV and settle my mind.
Beautiful day here. Up early for yoga and then went out for a run. We have some errands to run this afternoon and then meeting some friends for dinner before euchre group. Just hoping no one brings up politics at euchre.
H and I are heading into the city tomorrow as his cousin is here from Chicago. We are looking forward to seeing her.
Back from Mexico and the wedding was lovely! Great weather and well planned by D1. Of course i thought she looked beautiful. Posted some sneak peeks on FB. D1 is still in Mexico on honeymoon so we have her dog. Her dog was exhausted from being at Doggy Day Care for the week. She also has red and goopy eyes so I think she has pink eye. Guess I will have to call her vet. I am not an experienced dog owner.
MN is having a heat wave. Guess they hit record temps last week when it was in the 70’s! Hope it lasts!
Happy the wedding went well, NM.
Enjoy those temps- 70’s and 60’s are perfect IMO.
Cq-glad you got that over!
Congrats on the nuptials, NM.
The dome is installed, and this a.m., was a balmy 75 inside (thanks to air warmer/blower that uses temp from pool heater…it was 48 outside at the time.) Thoroughly enjoyed my physio! We’ll see how it does in more wintry weather, but I’ll be happy even to hav just extended my season considerably!
Happy Nov. 8th! As we have mail in voting it always feels that we are just waiting as there is
nothing to focus on such as driving to the voting place.
It is 76 on our deck right now. I believe I will go for a walk instead of my home workout even if walking
is not as strenuous.
NM, so glad to hear all went well. You must have found a dress–I do not remember what you chose.
S and family are driving down this weekend. Looking forward to seeing G’Son. 4.5 is a delicious age.
km, congrats on the pool cover. Sounds like fun!
BIL was over for dinner as his wife was in the hospital nearby for staff infection in her knee.
He is a nice guy but so low keyed and offers very little–I found it somewhat painful.
He stayed way longer than we expected. Long evening. Food was great :).
It did get H and I talking about personal responsibility in a social situation.
H historically sat back and let others lead the conversation but has really changed
over the years in a good way.
Yes, even giving BIL a pass for his wife being in the hospital it was difficult to keep
a conversation going. I hate just asking questions as I hate being asked questions.
Please just bring up a new topic to get things going…
sigh…
Trying to stay calm and focus on what I can control in my life. I am feeling grateful for family and friends. I will take care of myself and workout this morning. I will try to practice kindness whenever possible. I will continue to pray.
^Ive been thinking a lot about kindness and social responsibility. Last night was rough, because I had friends abroad texting me from newsrooms, incredulous, etc. The Canadian Immigration server crashed. What I haven’t yet been able to articulate to those convinced that I should come home is that you can’t run from hatred. You have to look it in the eye and enlighten it. You have to not perpetuate hatred by hatin the haters. You have to instead love the people and enlighten the ignorance without engaging the hatred.
I cannot explain this to mcson and his gf. They are so young and politically passionate. They don’t see that their own stridency can be as divisive as the founding source of hatred they’re responding to. And yes, they say they’re going to Canada The other thing they don’t know yet is that there’s ample ignorance and hatred there too, but people, often a minority of people, have taken a stand for decades to weave a social structure in which there can be a social contract to keep hatred in check. That needs to happen here, and it will take every single disappointed resident to do so.
Leonard Cohen has died at the age of 82. I have his albums for the '70’s.
An amazing poet and writer as well as songwriter and performer.
H and I drove two hours to see him perform in 1983. The large concert venue, holding over a thousand, had only a handful of people, maybe 200. He was amazing but not yet popular.
We did not see him the last time he was in our city because it was at a venue that holds
many many thousands and would be too impersonal for us.
So grateful for that first concert! An amazing human being. His lyrics are so appropriate
for the current events. So very glad his last album was released recently.
S and DIL and G’Son are driving here today. It will be a crazy but fun time.
That’s a really special memory, oregon. Leonard Cohen’s lyrics were so beautiful and so relevant especially today.
Have fun with your S and his family.