Parents of the HS Class of 2009 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
4081

<p>

</p>

<p>It’s a difficult issue…I’ve told y’all how incredibly unathletic I am. It really wasn’t till my own kids played sports that I lost my “thing against athletes.” It was never about *all *athletes. There’s a category of people who are ultra-competetive - some are good athletes, some are not (and some think they are but aren’t.) To those people, the volleyball game at the company picnic is not fun unless you keep score and there is a winner and a loser. My neighbor’s family has big annual reunions…they not only play tennis, they organize these big family tennis tournaments. Just lobbing the ball around is not fun for them. Personally, I’d walk away from the intense company volleyball game or the family tennis tournament…the ultra-competitive people would have made it no fun for me.</p>

<p>That is probably the history of some of the campus organizations…the “ordinary” members are afraid of being overrun by extremists. And again, they need not be athletes. If the hiking club normally takes 5 mile hikes and a group of people come in and plan 20 mile hikes, it might not be fun for the original members. Of course, the original 5 milers don’t own the club, but it’s human nature to feel threatened.</p>

<p>And the parents of athletes of the ultra-competetive kind can’t really tell their kids not to join anything, or to join and just blend in…then they don’t have an outlet…again, it’s a difficult issue.</p>

4082

<p>son’s school has intramural sports that compete at different levels of competition. It’s a nice idea–different leagues for people with different aims/abilities. I wish they had the same arrangement for kids in the arts–there is no vehicle for kids who just enjoyed playing in the pep band or hacked away as an average musician in the orchestra or whatever in high school to continue their involvement.</p>

4083

<p>

</p>

<p>You said it!!! I loved orchestra in HS - played the violin …I wasn’t *good *at it, but it was a lot of fun. I guess I didn’t realize that the last day of HS orchestra was the last day I’d play the violin. My college had only one orchestra - the one with the music majors.</p>

4084

<p>I am not blaming the D, I am just saying to look at the other side sometimes. I have just seen so many times when jocks, athletes come in and take over something that is supposed to be fun.</p>

<p>At my Ds HS, they tried intermurals, they were supposed to be for everyone and lunch time fun. It got super competitive and those that the sports were supposed to benefit, the kids who didn’t play on the HS teams, were slowly edged out by the athletes and the jocks. </p>

<p>I too wish there were more outlets in HS and College to just try things and continue in a non super competive fun way- like a band or frisbee team.</p>

<p>If you ask most non jocks or super athletes, when a few come into a club, a sport, a team, that is origianlly suposed to be fun, a bit of exercise, social, it that dynamic can very quicly change to something that isn’t fun anymore. And if a jock or athlete can’t learn to blend a little and not make things so seriously and competive, then they shouldn’t be there in the first place.</p>

<p>Not everyone wants each and every EC they do to be a battle. Sometimes, you just want to have fun, and enjoy. On my Ds coed college soccer team, some “real” college soccer players, dvi 1 types, joined the team. It could have been bad, but they learned that this was for fun, a bit competitive, but not a cut throat league. A couple left, cause they just couldnt play with those of lesser skill. A couple stayed and learned that the social aspect was just a fun as always needing to win.</p>

<p>What finally happened at my Ds HS was that the intermural manager, a teacher, had to set rules that if you on a team, ie basketball, either in or out of school, you couldn’t make a team for intermurals all together. One jv or varsity player per team. Otherwise, you had the varsity players playing agaisnt the chess team, and it was just mean.</p>

<p>The school had to regulate how the intermural sports were handled more closely, because nature tooks its course and the competition got ugly, and those kids who just wanted a chance to shoot some hoops and play a game, who didn’t have the skills to make the school or outside teams, those kids were seeing all over again the jocks taking over.</p>

<p>Happens all the time. And it doesn’t take very many to ruin what was supposed to be a fun time for all.</p>

<p>As the mother of two girls who lived through this, I know what I am talking about happens alot.</p>

<p>Maybe the line “athletes need not apply” was accurate. Maybe that club didnt want to turn into another sports team. Not everything needs to be geared to athletes and jocks. That gets very old and very often pushes regualr folks away.</p>

<p>My kid is missing lots of things she did in high school right now, the year book, costumes, different clubs, all the thngs that she loved. She will find those groups, it takes time. Its only been two weeks. But she isn’t whining cause she doesn’t have her dance class or her tennis coach around.</p>

<p>I guess I get to frustrated with this sense that athletes have special issues, and special needs that somehow other kids don’t</p>

<p>Athletes need the applause, altheletes need kudos, trophies, parents watching. And that other kids who don’t do sports, dont have needs and might like some applause.</p>

<p>So much talk about sports, and teams, and dance classes, and studios, and such. What about a the art student, the piano player, the costume maker. You really don’t hear those kids feeling sorry for themselve because they haven’t yet had the chance to get invovled in those areas yet. THey just move on and find their way.</p>

4085

<p>oh my. Sorry you have so much resentment and unresolved feelings about your Ds not receiving recognition and support for their ECs and towards athletes. Sorry your school didn’t recognize and celebrate their achievements like so many other schools actually do for journalists, editors,theatre productions and speech and debate, etc. This thread, however, has a history of being supportive and non-judgemental and no politics. We vent and offer support and suggestions. Perhaps you could volunteer to change things at your local school.</p>

4086

<p>I guess it was the comment that the D felt “athletes need not apply”. As if the club was somehow in the wrong for not wanting the club to become a jock club. And that the athlete daughter felt unwelcome.</p>

<p>Well, as a place to vent, I will, That is how most non athlete kids feel when it comes to the vast majority of school, college and high school attention given to students that participate in the myriad of other ECs. </p>

<p>And then the athletes complain that they can’t continue with their sport in college, so they try and take over the intermurals. Believe me I have seen it, heard it, and it is prevelant.</p>

<p>So if a club doesn’t want a bunch of jocks on it, too bad. </p>

<p>After the post about the D not feeling welcome, I felt the non jocks needed defending. </p>

<p>And I wanted to emphasize that most college kids do not play sports, and therefore those EC clubs that are fitness minded will and should be for those students, and maybe its time for the jocks and athletes and sports teams members to adjust to the rest of the school.</p>

4087

<p>I don’t think they should discriminate at all for any reason. What if your D wanted to be on the school newspaper but was told that we don’t want anyone who wrote for a HS newspaper because it’s not the way we want to do it. What if your D wanted to continue designing/sewing costumes and was told – sorry you did that in HS and we don’t want someone who has experience because we want it done OUR way. I don’t think it matters. You could be a very good athlete but just want to “participate” in an EC. My D is a runner and is on a team. She enjoys hiking and can do some harder hikes but should that exclude her from the outdoor club? She’s happy to just be with some friends and go. Doesn’t care that the hike she could do in her sleep and doesn’t need to work as hard at it as others. She’s in good shape - because she needs to be for her sport. She works hard at it as do non sports oriented kids in their areas of expertise. Doesn’t mean that you should not allow someone just because they are in shape/have done it in the past/or because you believe that they will try to take over. I mean not everyone wants to be competitive in everything they do. Sometimes it’s just for fun. As long as that is communicated and the person knows what they are getting into then why shouldn’t they be able to participate?</p>

4088

<p>I may be coming at it from a different slant as the HS here supports all the ECs fairly equally. Lots of applause for the concerts/plays/orchestra/chorus/robotics/math team/etc. One of the most popular ECs at the HS was model UN and they were rewarded aptly for their competitions - one student was even sent to Germany for competition. Oh and she was a varsity tennis player who made varsity as an 8th grader.</p>

4089

<p>Wow, just wow. </p>

<p>My D was a HS athlete and a member of orchestra. We never told her she had to fit into a mold. We encouraged her sports participation primarily because I am also unathletic. I was always that last kid picked for sides in PE class. I don’t exercise regularly as I should. I never learned to love a sport or physical activity. It’s a chore for me. It’s because of this that I have encouraged both of my children to find an athletic activity that they can do for life. D is taking time at college to try out some new fitness activities and also working out the way she knows best. She shouldn’t be allowed to participate in some fitness classes because she was a 4 year varsity athlete? Ridiculous. Fitness is for life. Finding something that is fun and physical is important for stress relief and health. </p>

<p>At the same time, one of her search criteria was a college that had a non music major orchestra. She’s now enjoying playing with a new group of people and under a new director. It relaxes her in a different way and exercises a different part of her brain. I guess she shouldn’t be permitted to do that since she was first chair her senior year. Perhaps those theater kids shouldn’t be permitted to join the drama clubs or whatever. Same thing.</p>

4090

<p>Owlice–I forgot to offer my congrats to you and your son. Delicious spanakopita!</p>

4091

<p>Congrats to Owl’s son. Champagne was most welcome and so were the snacks. Yum.</p>

<p>My kids did not participate in sports in HS, but did Fine Arts instead. At the end of the year the school had a Fine Arts graduation ceremony where they “celebrated” for lack of a better word, the envolvement, big or small, of the graduating seniors. Each aspect, band, choir, theater, poetry, photography, dance was celebrated and recognized.</p>

<p>On another fun note…my DD discovered a Quidich group at her college. Talk about going “all out” in sports with this one. She is a big, HUGE HP fan, I wouldn’t doubt that she would join this group. I guess no prior experience needed. ;-)</p>

4092

<p>rrah you said it better than I could.</p>

4093

<p>OK - once and for all - is it “owl ice” or is it “ow, lice”? Inquiring minds want to know.
PS Congrats!
PPS - Yummy!
PPPS - D was a varsity skier and first stand violinist - never felt weird in either group. Personally, I would feel incredibly out of place in both.</p>

4094

<p>Ilovetoquilt22, the HS you describe sounds a lot like my own high school, back in the days of yore. There was sports up here, then everything else way down there. I think we all loved to hate the athletes as a bonding/self defense mechanism. No one else loved us so we had to love ourselves. Only athletes could get letter jackets and since it was pre-Title IX, only male athletes had letter jackets.</p>

<p>Thanks goodness my kids’ HS is not like that. A student can earn a letter jacket for sports, band, dance, cheer, even academics. Being in Texas, football players are probably placed a bit on a pedistal, but there is a lot of recognition to go around. The principal makes sure she attends the theatre performances and choir concerts, as well as the sporting events. There are 4 year athletes in choir and in theatre productions. Because lots of kids are recognized for lots of things, I don’t think the school has the “athlete and then everyone else” attitude that my own school did.</p>

<p>(I must say that my favorite thing to do in HS was costumes. I guess I didn’t even think about recognition because it was so cool to see my creations on stage. If I’d had a bit more courage, I would have gone into costuming as a profession.)</p>

4095

<p>woody–very funny! Thanks for the laugh :slight_smile:
Re: your ppps–I too would feel very uncomfortable in either of those groups. I guess my D isn’t as much like me as some seem to think.</p>

4096

<p>Thanks, all!! Cheesecake and chocolate mousse are late – sorry about that! – but are now on the buffet table. It’s so late, no one will notice if you take one of each! (Or even two of each!)</p>

<p>And it’s Owl - ice, thank you very much!! :D</p>

<p>When I was in high school, I attended a lot of school basketball games and screamed my lungs out for the team. I also attended the school plays and applauded those who made the school plays possible, and attended the orchestral concerts and applauded the musicians, and attended the taping of the “It’s Academic” competition (shown on local television here) and hollered my lungs out for that team. I also worked on the school magazine, which featured student poetry and short stories and drawings. </p>

<p>To each activity, its own kind of recognition. What is appropriate and customary for the science/math geek with all the answers on the “It’s Academic” team is different from what is appropriate and customary for the tennis player on the tennis team, which is different from what is appropriate and customary for the golfer on the golf team, the fullback on the football team, the choral singer in the chorus. The chess player gets a trophy when he or she wins the tournament; the violin player gets applause when he or she performs at the student coffee house.</p>

<p>No one cheers for the practice, no one applauds at the rehearsal, no one screams for the memorization of lines.</p>

<p>Different venues, different motivations, different pursuits, different recognitions.</p>

<p>What makes the athlete, the musician, the actor, the academic, the writer, isn’t what gets cheered or applauded or awarded or published; what makes the athlete, the musician, the actor, the academic, the writer, is what happens before the game, the concert, the play, the science fair, the magazine.</p>

<p>Different venues, different motivations, different pursuits, different recognitions.</p>

4097

<p>I really don’t want to get into the “athlete vs. non-athlete” thing as I feel that the kids should all be recognized for their hard work. Unfortunately the schools cause a lot of the resentment when they do things like refuse to display the dance team state champ trophy in the trophy cases or when no administrators show up to support the academic team. (true stories). And yes, I have brought this to the attention of the school administration.</p>

<p>I do think that college should be a time for the kids to try different things. If that’s the “retired” football player trying another sport or the former dancer playing intramural soccer or somebody else writing for the newspaper for the first time. So many of these kids only had time to concentrate on one (or a few) activities in HS.</p>

4098

<p>Owlice, as always, you’re spot on in your observations. “Different venues, different motivations, different pursuits, different recognitions.”</p>

<p>At D’s school the emphasis was on athletics. Ironically, the academic team was considered a “sport”- largely ignored unless their points were needed for an overall “Cup” win. In an interesting twist, they missed their regional meet as the coach had the date wrong. Don’t think that would happen with football, basketball or the like. Didn’t seem to be an issue this year as even a convincing win by the academics wouldn’t have pushed the school up in the standings much. </p>

<p>I agree that college should be a time to try new things. It is unfortunate that students feel excluded or unwanted because of their athletic status - or really for any reason. D was interested in a few activities and when I asked questions about them she indicated she decided not to pursue them, primarily because she did not feel they were as open to new people as other groups.</p>

4099

<p>My son is a state champion (3x) debater. No school administrator ever came to a debate tournament (or to a forensics match or an academic team match – and this year the academic team reached the regional tournament for the first time). There wasn’t even any end of the year recognition this year for the debate, academic or forensics teams. No debate section in the yearbook at all. But the School Board recognizes all state champions in the district very nicely and the school did, too, in other ways (perhaps because his coach is married to the student activities coordinator?). </p>

<p>This year for the first time the area newspaper finally felt my son deserved his own article. Just think if it had been a 3x sports champion! They wouldn’t have ignored that accomplishment for two previous years!</p>

4100

<p>Deja - makes me appreciate the HS my kids attend. Administrators were at EVERYTHING. I figured once school started the wife of the principal never saw him because he was always at every event that I had ever heard of. We saw him every where. Now sometimes he was only at the track meet for 15 minutes but that was because he needed to see the model UN kids, see the orchestra, etc. but he was there talking to the kids and parents. I guess that is why I don’t see that there should be or is a distinction. So many of my kids friends were not only on a sports team but in the band/ math team/ model UN/ etc. My kids were in the band for a while – one all the way through HS and the other only through ninth grade but it was very common for the students to be in multiple activities.</p>