<p>Sue D., too funny because it’s very familiar re: DS’s gatekeeping (re info) and independence (re chores). Mine is also only child and also decided not to tell me he was unwell until after he’d been to the health center and been prescribed antibiotics, where doc said there was concern about a “rattle” and “bronchitis” but no “bacon flu” (his words, delivered by email, not phone : ) Did ask him in a weekly phone call a few days prior if he was unwell (sounded unwell) to which he said “No, I’m great.” (Note to self: Be suspicious upon hearing: “Everything’s fine here at the whitehouse…” : )</p>
<p>One of the biggest adjustments for my D so far seems to be the isolated feel of a college campus despite the fact her school is in a very cute and vibrant college town. She commented that any sighting of a dog or child snaps her back into the “real world” beyond campus in a startling way. She rode in a friend’s car to the local Walmart yesterday which was her first time in a car in a month! She said it almost felt like being in a roller coaster after the stop and go slow buses she had occasionally been taking. I wouldn’t have predicted these issues so was quite surprised to hear them. Nothing earth shattering – for the most part she’s doing fine and enjoying herself – but all part of the college adjustment I guess.</p>
<p>I was feeling so sad today missed my D then talked to her and felt better. First time it has hit me. teary She is very busy but loves it. A roomate left and will not be back until next semester she doesnt know why. She says everyone is sick, D2 has a bad cold virus she says everyone at HS is sick too. coughing etc… no fever. Booked tickets for parents weekend dont seem to get bargains everyone talks about.</p>
<p>Tulare - my D said similar during her first year which was at a mid sized urban university. One comment that surprised me was -“no dogs on this campus. I miss dogs. And cats”. She went to a small private HS where there were many dogs living on campus and some cats too not to mention the zoo at home. But I never gave it a thought till she did. Interesting the things they zero in on!</p>
<p>I can imagine not telling parents about illness because it was no big deal and I didn’t want to worry them. I listen for signs of fatigue as that is a precursor for most illness for DS.</p>
<p>DS called tonight for my feedback/help in organizing his arguments for his next debate tournament as he’s just learning the format. I was happy to help. By the end he sounded tired, but it was 10:30 and after an hour of talking/analyzing.</p>
<p>downtoearth
must be in the air
I too was feeling down, missing my kiddo.
H and I checked out his FB to see what is going on in his life.
I sent him an e-mail (and then another threatening to call him if he didn’t respond to my e-mail)
Oy, it is hard to let go so “suddenly”. We work toward this so diligently, but the reality of it is hard. #theoryson is so far away. It has really hit me that we will see him but twice a year, and he will be becoming an adult and <em>new</em> person in all the time we are apart. And being an only…
well let’s just say it is is hard</p>
<p>I need a new project…</p>
<p>:: points #theorymom to the bicycles ::</p>
<p>:: pulls out maps of bike routes and tours ::</p>
<p>:: gets the brownies and cookies out of the pantry, too, and brews tea ::</p>
<p>OR has a small glass of single malt and a shortbread and commits to getting the bike out tomorrow</p>
<p>Oh, a single malt and shortbread is good, too!! :)</p>
<p>:hands #theorymom a nose guard:
Speaking of which, owlice, how is your nose?</p>
<p>lol, CD, on the nose guard!!</p>
<p>My nose is okay, thanks! No more spontaneous pain and it doesn’t look any different to me; I never did anything about it.</p>
<p>Now if only the rest of me would stop hurtin… oh, look, single malts! Never mind! :D</p>
<p>How are you doing?</p>
<p>I think we parents are sort of feeling the post-euphoria crash …</p>
<p>I’m still waiting for the euphoria from which to crash.</p>
<p>downtoearth–oh, yes it hurts when it hits doesn’t it…
virtual cc hug…I continue to find myself teary at times. your d sounds like she’s doing very well…sometimes that helps but sometimes, not so much. and thanks for your kind words the other day.</p>
<p>funny my d visited last wknd and as happy as she was about college, and her so sweet comment…by the end of the wknd she was so well, frustrating…waiting for her passport pics in Walgreens she caught herself and acknowledged she was “fouling the nest” (thanks cc for the perfect language) she hadn’t done much of that at all over the summer, but seemed visiting home she needed to do it big time. guess its establishing her new role, in or perhaps really “out” of the family==kind of the equivalent of saying, who needs this place, my new life is soo much better… my brother called it “throwing their psychological weight around” having a college senior and college graduate of his own to reflect on.</p>
<p>tulare–my s found his small lac isolated as well. definitely an adjustment…he’s getting a bicycle to get around and explore, and last year took up skiing…finding new ways to take advantage of being out in nature</p>
<p>Hi all, haven’t posted in awhile. I’ve had a bad case of being in a funk since getting home from taking D (only child) to school OOS several weeks ago. Doesn’t help that we hardly ever hear from her, we text her occassionally and sometimes she even answers, one or two words, but hardly any real communication. Heard thru her friends that she is doing great, but I envy those of you who actually chat with your kids (via skype, phone or email). I know, as some here have said, that we raised them to be independent, but, darn it, I wish we could have some info sometimes! I’m hoping it’s a phase and soon she will reconnect. But having 7 other suitemates and no privacy probably doesn’t help, either. Any advice for this empty nester mourning the loss of her only child?</p>
<p>jptmom, we have bicycles, single malts, brownies, tea, and shortbread – take your pick!!</p>
<p>(And you didn’t lose your only child; you’re just letting her grow elsewhere for a while.)</p>
<p>jpt - I feel your pain.</p>
<p>Tonight miracle of miracles, #theoryson IM’d me. He finished his last mid-term today and feels he did better than he thought he would. He still likes school, and that is about as far as we got. But it was at least <em>something</em>. Another shortbread and I will definitely have to get the bike out tomorrow</p>
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<p>Owlice, this is such a great way of putting it. I may have to quote you in conversations, if that’s OK.</p>
<p>Yes, Owlice, that is a beautiful phrase (and, comforting!).</p>
<p>Btw, how is your son doing?</p>