<p>My D was suprised at the amount of kids who put off writing papers until night before. She does hers ahead of time , as far a researcha nd outlines etc… I guess that expensive school i sent her to did some good? I least I keep telling myself that. I did recoup my investment in her scholarship. One thing I am glad of is this college bit is over, I told her a friend of hers who is very competative and took a gap is applying to IVY, she said besides the fact the kid would rub it in her face she didnt care hoped the best for her, and that she was very happy where she was. that was nice to hear. I lreally like who she has become. Just had to say that.</p>
<p>downtoearth–sounds like you have one nice D. My S is clearly trying to be nice. He is an very quiet guy so this is a huge struggle for him but I actually see him stepping up today. The funny story is that he was such a brat at PW that when we offered to take him for steak (we are vegetarians so this was nice 
of us) and had researched where to go, etc. and he pulled his “I don’t care” stuff we just went cheap somewhere else. So last night he shares that he went with a friend and their g’parents to this great steak place (the place I had reservations and canceled) and when I told him he even “got it” (his attitude, etc.) and laughed at himself. Or so I thought :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Oregon - don’t feel badly about S not getting your postcard. I am still not sure if son has yet to pick up an entire box of raisin oatmeal cookies (granted, they tasted good, but presentation questionable) and they were sent a week ago yesterday! He called on friday only to start the conversation by chastising me about texting him random questions. Let’s just say, he changed the subject pretty quickly following my response. Sometimes it’s like time hasnt moved an inch in that if he is having a rough day, I get the brunt of it somehow, even two thousand miles away! All of this to say, however, I will try to save up some of my questions from now on to reach compromise.</p>
<p>Looking forward to hearing how our latest round (and except for the feb), the last of PW goes for everyone. I spent the last week cleaning my office/den. While for some reason I still saved all of the acceptance letters, I just now tossed all the other information we had on all the other colleges and condensed files from the last 10 years for all three of the kids. I admit I save a lot of crap, but I guess that’s because my parents purged the house I grew up in and I have nothing from my growing up years except for birth records etc. My kids will likely be perplexed when I hand over all these things in years to come, but they’ll also secretly enjoy them. Maybe. 
The point is, I still ended up throwing away (recycling) or burning three garbage bags worth of paper.</p>
<p>Talked to ShawbridgeSon yesterday to let him know I was going to be out of town again. He told me he’d taken his 2nd math midterm (there seem to be two) and thought it had gone well. He was using the day of Saturday to do the rest of his homework and would study Saturday night (despite lots of Halloween parties) and Sunday day for his economics 2nd Economics mid-term on Sunday. He has become good at this kind of planning – he started preparing for the first midterm on Wednesday. </p>
<p>He’s almost always polite with us, unless we question his ability to manage his work and life. While he doesn’t have the eating habits we’d like, he appears to be moving in the same direction – very good grades, professors impressed with his thinking. So, I don’t challenge and my wife, who sometimes does, always has to back down when confronted with the facts. I recall last year when my wife asked him if he was studying enough for his SATs and he responded, “Have I ever not succeeded at something I said I was going to do?” “Uhmm, no. You always succeed when you tell us you will.” “Then leave me alone to handle it.” Tail wagging between legs. (He did stunningly well for a dyslexic kid).</p>
<p>Oregon, he succeeds by ignoring many aspects of life. Picking up postcards (or cookies) from the post office would be 17th on the priority list and he only seems to have 4 things on the list: success in school, enjoying (and succeeding in) a very few extracurriculars, making and keeping up with a few close friends, and family. I think many boys (and perhaps girls) managing the change by not doing “extraneous” things. I suspect it is a matter of degree, with my son being on the extreme end. [He hasn’t yet tried his new bank card and is surviving on cash he’s gotten when he visited home and his college cash card that enables late night pizza]. Maybe your son is doing the same.</p>
<p>Here’s a question: On an interesting note, next weekend is Parents Weekend and he told me he’d prefer to come home for the weekend and spend time with us. “I’m sure you won’t miss anything. They’re just setting you up to ask for money. And, I can spend more real time with you at home.” What do you say to that? ShawbridgeMom really wants to go. But, I’ve been to the campus a few times, met with administrators a couple of times, and she’s only been there to drop him off. I think we both want to see a little more about his new life – who his friends are, etc. – but I don’t feel as strongly about it.</p>
<p>Can you ask him to show you both around on another weekend?</p>
<p>Good suggestion, Treetopleaf. We can ask and he’d probably say yes. I’ll ask my wife, although I don’t know if it would satisfy my wife who has heavy-duty social needs and likes the big events (even though the sessions are useless).</p>
<p>Shawbridge, I think that’s a great idea. The two PWs we went to for S1 basically meant going to the football game and, last year, a silent auction at the frat afte dinner with a couple of friends and their parents. We didn’t get to stay close to campus, and didn’t participate in any other activities. Last Spring, however, when I visited with S2 (during auditions) we had a GREAT time, stayed close to campus, met lots of kids and I took 9 grateful boys to dinner. It was MUCH better without all the hullaballoo.</p>
<p>As a mom I can only suggest we like to put names to faces. And even better if we can shake hands with a parent or two as well. Given that any other weekend there won’t logically be a lot other parents around, sometimes it does a mom’s heart good to see that all is well. While I could have stood a little more together time with son, there was something about just peeking into his day to day life that seems to have relaxed with his being “on his own.” In our case, this is a relative term since he still likes money. </p>
<p>And it’s fine by me if checking his mailbox is the last thing on his list because believe me, it’s a lot easier to NOT send stuff. I suppose I have been getting mixed messages and so I wont send anything more unless specifically asked. The one thing I know is that son needs no more pressure than he is probably already under.</p>
<p>I coouldnt go tp PW and was sad . but plan to go on another weekend. I think it will be easier without other parents to compete for restaurant reservations etc… but I’m with Shawbridge wife and Modadun. I didnt really plan to go to all the programs. I did go to a 3 day parent orientaton in June so that prob was enough. I miss my D.
Funny she went to see Rocky Horror Picture Show at her school with all the acting but no throwing of things… She thought it was hysterical she had never seen it until that day saw a dvd prior. We had it on VCR but she was too young in our eyes at that time, and never bought it in DVD. funny how some things transcend generations.</p>
<p>She saw it on DVD in her dorm prior to the show. I meant.</p>
<p>We wanted to meet the roommates’ parents and it seemed it would be our only opportunity to do so on PW. (and we did catch up with them just before we left for home). It is fun to go to one PW but will agree that after that does not seem as important.</p>
<p>Oh–I see why it sounded like I was upset about S not getting the mail. Actually, I did not mean for it to sound that way–I do get that in and out going mail is not a priority or even part of their lives in general. Which reminds me–I am sending a care package to one of S’s friends and I had better have S let her know to check for it or it go my the way of the oatmeal cookies :).
S has been with GF most of the weekend but has been pleasant to be around and this has been a huge change and grand. This has been my biggest complaint and gripe but here is hoping for this good attitude to become permanent. </p>
<p>Ran into S’s past teacher who has an 11th grader who he said is “what is that phrase?? Oh, Fowling the nest”. Made me laugh.</p>
<p>We skipped PW for S2 simply because it is a long drive and H goes all the time for game week-ends of which PW is not one. H will be there next week-end. S2 needs more dress clothes for presentations with colder weather in mind.</p>
<p>We went to all of the PWs for S1, but his college is only an hour away. H and S1 won the parent/child 5-k race three years in a row, which was neat (S1 is abroad so missed the opportunity for a clean sweep). We were at S1’s college yesterday for a game and thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with all of his friends and their parents and catching up on all the post-college plans. We parents used it as an opportunity to start planning the college graduation party. This group did a joint party when graduating from high school and will do so again for college. The time goes soooo fast. </p>
<p>Oregon, glad to hear your visit is going great. Is everybody healthy again?</p>
<p>Just back from D’s PW. (BTW - Is PW a “new” CC term?) Great visit. Introduced to tons of kids - and a couple of parents. Kids were actually eager to shake hands, etc. Took a couple of parent-less dormmates out for meals. She showed us her studio with a couple of her pieces on display, bio labs and some research her class was marginally involved in, her favorite pieces in the museum. H updated computer. We never got to the concert we had tickets for - oh well… H and I took a looonnng walk in the bird sanctuary this AM. D went to frat parties both nights - crazy costumes- long after H and I were tucked in bed! Terrific place for her to be! Everybody’s happy.</p>
<p>Such a busy few days…one of those weekends where I want to get to work to get some rest.</p>
<p>First, a report on my friend’s memorial service. The 1200 seat church sanctuary was packed, overflow in the fellowship hall. The service was 2 hours long but flew by (lots of music). His wife looked beatific-just glowing. (The peace that passeth all understanding? Or shock?) I think she and the kids had cried all the tears there were to cry. The son who is a senior in HS looked ****ed, which is probably a very appropriate emotion.</p>
<p>There were LOTS of teens there…Son came home from school for the service and the girls signed out of school to attend. I think that pretty much the whole church youth choir was there to support the son. PLUS (tear jerker coming), the son plays baseball, so his teammates were there in force wearing their jerseys.</p>
<p>Over 100 people were in the choir - former choir members from years gone by traveled distances to be there.</p>
<p>Shawbridge - Re: PW…Our PW is next weekend and is very football-tailgate oriented, each of which appealed sufficiently to me but not H. or S…So we compromised and decided to skip the FORMAL PW and instead have a “McSon Tour of the Unusual and Weird in Ann Arbor” wherein said McSon is going to simulate his life on campus, introduce us to anyone he really cares about (if he can find them), and plan evening shenanigans, with the understanding that some or all of us can escape to the hotel room for refuge or recouping. Maybe your S. would enjoy the opportunity to host you in a fun kind of way outside the structured programming as well. McSon was not convinced the formal programming would actually depict his particular day-in-the-life.
Just a thought.</p>
<p>Missy… it sounds like it was a lovely service. When my dad died (at 52), everyone was very helpful and concerned at first, but she (his wife) could have used a pick me up about 6 months later vs the overwhelming display that happened initially. Just a thought. Glad so many came out to show their respects. That clearly says somethng about the deceased. I am always fearful that when I die, it will be a very small gathering. :)</p>
<p>Tomorrow is d15’s birthday where she will become D16. I am off to do a little shopping. She is SO hard to buy for in a usual way, so this is even more difficult. However, she did give up a list of sorts so at least I have that going for me.</p>
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<p>Tomorrow is MY D16’s birthday where she will be come D17! Mine got her driver’s license last year on her 16th birthday. Will your D get her license?</p>
<p>Got to remember to order the cake. D wanted yet another pair of Ugg boots, so when you drop the money for that, you don’t need to buy much else.</p>
<p>Another PW warrior back from the front. (woody, I think we might need to check if PW needs to be added to the abbreviation thread. Good call)</p>
<p>Overall a successful visit. Did the obligatory Target/grocery runs, met some of her friends and their parents, went to the football game, left said game when it started pouring in the second half. D let her 17 y.o. brother stay with her and go out with her friends, several of whom also had siblings in tow.</p>
<p>Then Saturday night S spiked a fever, chills, etc, etc and we probably infected everyone on the plane home Sunday. Sorry!</p>
<p>missypie–thanks for sharing the service with us. Agree that the real down time is 6 weeks or so–Holiday time–will be hard on family and friends alike but it sounds like a strong community.</p>