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<p>When D1 started college, I would mail her a little something most every weekday during her freshman year…a little clipping from the hometown newspaper, a comic strip, some news from a friend I saw, etc. I admit doing it more for myself than for her, but I didn’t get much appreciation from her for doing so–she was too busy to keep in touch much.</p>
<p>Fast forward 4 years when she’s graduated from college and has brought all of her stuff home. One of the things that she brought home is a box in which she was keeping all of these notes. She told me then that the notes really meant a lot to her. She was the envy of her dorm because she always had mail in her mailbox. And for mother’s day this year, she gave me a big box of cards with the charge that I was supposed to do the same for her little sister who was to start college in the fall. (Frankly, I hadn’t planned on doing so…but now I am)</p>
<p>Sometimes, your kids don’t tell you how much they appreciate you at the time you’re doing something for them. I hope that you’ll hear someday, though!</p>
<p>My MIL will be one of the survivors as well. I’ve told my husband a million times that she is going to be the death of me ;)</p>
<p>Okay, that’s the next movie or better yet, video game…post-apocolypse, the planet is populated only by crabby inlaws…if there are no grandchildren or daughtersinlaw or holiday meals to criticize, do they retain their true character as inlaws?</p>
<p>They survived the Depression…Can they survive the Apocolypse?</p>
<p>Missy… you really should consider stand up. Do you have that really great texan accent? You’d be a shoe-in. </p>
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<p>While stereotyped at it’s best, I think girls tend to be a tad more sentimental than the guys. However, I did notice a few years ago that my H has saved every card I have ever given him (something I have not done in reverse). Also, son has a shoebox filled with all kinds of trinkets etc that his GFs have given him (the two or 3 that have qualified as GF status). But D25 called me last summer to say she was reading all these old emails and letters I had sent her over the years to say thank you for always having such faith in her and how glad she was to have kept them. Who knew she had taken to saving the letters, let alone printing out emails I never thought she was even reading!!</p>
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<p>I remember a Newsweek article from some years back with the headline of something like Are All Men Autistic? The point was that stereotypical “engineer” personality (not very talkative, not great social skills) is much more typical in males and that it falls pretty close to the autism spectrum. I’m not implying autism on your son’s part, just that I agree that guys are more likely to come across as cold, unappreciative, unsentimental than girls.</p>
<p>I might take that into consideration if it wasn’t only me to which the behavior applies. I used to think it was flattering to get such high praise from others about how well-mannered, considerate and respectful my kids are/were (and that applies to all three of them). It was consolation I suppose for getting the shorter end of the stick in my own interpersonal relationships with them. So if it was an “ALWAYS,” maybe I’d consider that it was a function of wiring, but since it’s individual specific, I’ll just stick with rude.</p>
<p>Regarding expressions of gratitude…</p>
<p>I dropped a line to geek_son about this after witnessing an email exchange between him and his grandmother. She asked him whether he’d picked up a package that she sent him; he replied, Yup, sure did, and I’m keeping my room nice and neat too! :rolleyes: He wasn’t ungrateful, just overwhelmed and unthinking.</p>
<p>So I just sent him a quick email reminding him that when someone picks out something special for him and takes the time and expense to buy it and ship it to him, it’s just common courtesy to acknowledge the gift and thank the giver – and a quick email to say “Thanks so much” takes less than a minute.</p>
<p>He’s gotten quite a bit better about it since then. It’s kind of comical, though, because we ship things direct on purchase and he usually doesn’t know who’s sent him what! So he guesses based on what’s in the box.</p>
<p>Well, come to think of it, it’s his first time receiving mail. When he comes back for Christmas, we’re going to have Independent Living 102 – how to deposit paychecks, mail book receipts for reimbursement, and read the return address or packing slip to find out who sent him something!</p>
<p>Thanksgiving was wonderful, and I’m so looking forward to seeing a lot of him this month. I’ll be decorating when he comes back for Christmas. His request, because he said he’s found that he “loves doing things with his mom.” <em>sniffle</em></p>
<p>Missypie you are giving me a bad name. I work almost entirely with men as “gasp” a women engineering manager. I’m currently sitting in my office LOL with tears in my eyes. I just LOVED the video game idea. I can see it now. Only thought is if there is now one there to complain to can they EXIST? Trying to dry my eyes and act serious…</p>
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<p>Do the guys fit the stereotype? We have a neighbor who is an engineer and he IS the stereotype. If you visit with him for 10 minutes, you’ve exhausted every possible topic of converstation because everything you bring up (thinking it’s good for at least a 5 minute converstation) is met with a one word reply.</p>
<p>We’ll never get thank you notes from ShawbridgeSon, geek_mom. But, he got a gift from his grandmother and immediately said, “I’ll call her to thank her.” The dyslexic in him just doesn’t write unless he must. I didn’t see him do it, so I don’t know if he did.</p>
<p>He unfailingly thanks his mother or me if we help him in any way (for help on the art project or a letter or picking him up from school). Just not in writing. His younger sister didn’t and seems to be doing that now as well (“Thanks for your help on that paper” “Thanks for picking me up” “Thanks for driving me to my friends house”). It works very well.</p>
<p>My S is the most handsome, generous, polite young man as long as he is not alone with his family. Then he is quiet and bored and tired. He does say thank you but he also criticizes me (in particular) frequently. Which is why is was so humorous when he called 3 times late one night to tell me how he felt sick. I feel like I am just waiting for him to “grow up” in his family relationships. I do take solice in his outside of the family behavior and the fact that he does study hard and take things seriously in general.</p>
<p>Oregon101, I have the female version of your son at home.</p>
<p>They can be tough to work with on occassion. You just need to learn what interests them. Basically any thing with numbers is always a good bet. I’m to some degree the same but also have hobbies etc. and a LIFE as I like to say. Some of these guys you have to remind to tie their shoes. They are brillant but sometimes clueless…</p>
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<p>I just always hope that the women who marry these guys love them as they are and don’t plan to change them…</p>
<p>I haven’t known a whole lot of female engineers but the few I’ve met have been quite successful…they seem to have more spark and personality than the guys, so they stand out from the crowd.</p>
<p>My hubby is a quiet engineer.
I am the talkative one, for sure.
I have to make sure I pose a question that cannot be answered in just 3 words.
Sometimes his qualities that originally attracted me 25 years ago, now annoy me to no end. Oh well. I sure do love him and I am in it for the long-haul.</p>
<p>My engineer neighbor also has a talkative wife, so I think they’re well suited to each other. The guy travels a lot on business, mostly to Vietnam. I think that his interpreter must have a very easy job translating his 1-3 word utterances.</p>
<p>ditto to the above</p>
<p>I have book club here tonight. Have been busy cleaning up and grocery shopping. We read Zeitoun, true story of a Syrian-American living in New Orleans when Katrina hit and what transpired. Very thought provoking. Making crab cakes and shrimp served with remoulade sauce for the N’Awlins part and then Hummus with veggies for Syrian. We only serve appetizers and dessert, no meal. For dessert I have pecan pralines and Baklava…close enough! ;)</p>
<p>I thought it was a given that all H’s annoyed us at times even though we love them to death! :)</p>