<p>Actually, I think the most motivating summer job to complete a college education is back breaking manual labor. It becomes clear that your young form will be punished and there is a first-hand flash forward of your life in plain view of your co-workers. It is good money, however, for the age group of 18-21 and loads their bank accounts for the next semester.</p>
<p>I think a study, like Missy suggests, would be a good one, but I think you underestimate the degree of support - both parental and academic - that Shawbridge’s son has enjoyed. Certainly, the circles in which they travel are very well educated and his life has been infused with great minds overcoming obstacles. In CC posts although not huge, would suggest his role models have been amazing in this regard. He also has had ample intervention into the causes behind his disabilities and this would be one of those kids whose minds are so unique that compensating for deficiencies are an art form. It is a perfect storm of yes, affluence, opportunity and inspiration. He is also a first born, which by scientific study of majority, are usually hard driven. </p>
<p>My own daughter, who isn’t disabled per say, suffered a very different educational experience where teachers grew easily frustrated with her lack of attention. That she wasn’t a brilliant mind made their job probably less rewarding than it would be to say give Shawbridge’s son just that little extra attention that not only built his self-esteem but also was amply rewarded because he is just so brilliant. </p>
<p>Her first stab at college was fret with issues of low self-esteem and an academic work load that she had never before experienced, compounded by issue of inattention and so wanting to “be like everyone else” refused the benefits of the advances in pharmacology. This is a perfect storm for underachievement, and a distrust. What does it say that her good looks actually worked against her? She was just so “pretty and charming that surely (she) didn’t want her teachers to think she was disabled.” That will ring in my ears until the day I die. </p>
<p>Shawbridge son also seems very willing to take advice, try whatever MIGHT work - there is a persistence there mixed with humility that leads to an understanding in a very mature way that perhaps others can and will be helpful. That they have, trust is built and the cycle continues. </p>
<p>I honestly believe that if my oldest had attended the school my two younger children attended and attend, her world may have been very different. I know this because my youngest child is much more like her sister than she’d care to admit. And yet, her successes and failures have resulted in a much more confident and self-assured girl. And academically far more persistence and successful.</p>
<p>This all said, we now have a report card taped to our fridge that shows a gpa that would have been an impossibility AND has proven slightly motivating to S to not have a repeat of his sister besting him next semester. She now has taken great pains to understand her pitfalls and learning style. Also she has finally seen the positive effects of putting better habits into practice AND making use of science by way of medicine. She is not a brilliant mind, but she is plenty smart and this is the first time in her life she knows for sure that what I’ve said all along is true. </p>
<p>What I find most amazing is that all those letters of encouragement I sent her in college, she had printed out and saved. She has admitted to barely reading them at the time and to this day, she has never given any explanation for her dismal second semester that had her leave her first college, but that she says she’s read them all a lot over they years tells me that what we tell our kids will eventually get through. So just keep saying what you’re saying even when it seems he’s shut off his ears. He’s still listening.</p>
<p>Here’s another thing: My S… he never lets on how much he wants things. Ever. He has a real aversion to any kind of public humiliation. When he applied ED last year, I knew his not telling anyone (and thus having a pretty insipid peer recommendation) slightly hurt his application. And I also know that rejection inspired him to really put his best foot forward for the panicked rush of applications that followed. And now… when the idea of getting on the team is before him, I worry that it may APPEAR slightly aloof if only to protect his ego. But I know this young man. He may look big and tough, and sometimes even slightly smug, but he is not. He is hyper-sensitive and a while confident, is a little insecure and humble to a fault in that he rarely takes the credit he deserves - as a leader, a student or an athlete. He has big shoulders, but I often worry about where he rests his own head. He is a very contradictory character… but he’s mine.</p>
<p>Yikes… this is long. Sorry, but all of this is only to say: I believe that everyone gets to where they are going eventually - even me - and while the road might not be straight, it doesn’t mean they aren’t on the path where they were meant to be.</p>