<p>sabaray…yes, hearing how everyone is doing does help put things in perspective no matter what the struggle is. I know reading about the kids’ struggles and successes helps me with D2. Although she hasn’t encountered academic difficulties it has helped me process her need to be closer to home, her desire to be more challenged in her classes and not be invovled with a group that she has different values from. It had been difficult not to say “just suck it up” when she has been "blessed " with a full ride scholarship at a beautiful university where she was successful academically and athletically. When H and I stepped back and really opened our eyes we saw the stress and strain she was experiencing and how it was effecting her health, academics, social and emotional life. It just wasn’t worth it. This thread has been so valuable for so many of us. Hopefully we can all continue to be there for each other. Thanks to all for their ideas, advice and support. I bet the kids who are struggling will find their way as they mature and parents help guide them to be independent and successful.</p>
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<p>What is so funny about that is that professionals spend thousands of dollars going to seminars on time management, organization, etc. and then brag about the tips they picked up. </p>
<p>That is what I tell Son about his apparent inablity to calendar items on a consident basis. There are so many products built around people’s inablity to remember stuff (Daytimers, Outlook Calendar, etc.). Highly paid professionals go on and on about how they rely on those tools…but somehow its embarrassing to an 18 year old to admit he needs help.</p>
<p>S is in the second week of J-term and sent me some of his work from his class via picture texts last night (it’s a studio art class). Not really sure what the end result will be because it’s collaborative. And while he has some talent, apparently he has a friend in the class that is teaching him some different techniques as well. In any event, I made one of his drawings my wallpaper on my phone! How cool is technology?</p>
<p>J-term, while for credit, is very different than the semester and in my email to him I pointed out that it is our “expectation” (a word I am sure he will grow to hate) is that he is gearing up for the second semester to start really strong. I think he did avail himself to the help that was available but I think sometimes kids either accept or decline these things based on how they’re presented (AKA a “Success Center” does sound a little remedial vs other verbiage). Not sure there even IS a specific math help center, but for his Calc II class there were sessions with TAs (basically Math majors I guess since they don’t actually teach or anything) in the library for problem sets. Some of the people were good at explaining and some, not so much. Still, getting the help was probably huge reason why he got a B in the class (and seems to be thrilled never to have to take Math again). And I think because there were writing conferences required of his HS English classes, he didnt think twice about going to conference with the professor (who also happened to be his advisor so sometimes he HAD to go and see her). He also had a study group for his Bio class, which he said was only really helpful because they talked about the class and then could confirm if he knew what the heck he was talking about. The only class that he didn’t have any kind of “support” (student driven or otherwise) was religious ethics and was his C+.</p>
<p>When older D was a freshman, she never asked for help, assistance etc. She called me yesterday to tell me that she had been emailing professors where she had been shut out of the class to see if she could get in. So yesterday she ended up getting signatures to enroll in those two classes and told me she introduced herself to the professor especially because most are larger lecture classes and so she wanted the professor to be able to put a name with a face if she should email. I realize this is a lot of years late, but in all seriousness, it is better late than never. She has learned to advocate for herself and see that there is absolutely no shame in asking for help and most professors are really good about giving it. Her words were something like “people love to talk about the subject they love.” I also think because she’s paying for it, she wants her money’s worth (which is definitely irony since she didn’t really feel that way when the amounts were quadruple what she’s paying now when WE were paying the bills.</p>
<p>Younger D told me today that she would like to be a child psychologist. This comes from the moodiest of my three children whom I have offered several times to find someone for her to talk to if she wished to have a confidant outside of her dad and me (to which she adamantly refuses). Weird. I figure she can major in whatever floats her boat. After all, her dad is a history major and he’s done quite well in life. (Actually he told me the other night that he originally wanted to major in Hotel Management and then had the thought that he’d become a history professor – whereas now he just likes comfort, nice places to stay and the ability to pontificate on how history is simply repeating itself on most levels).</p>
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I agree, sabaray. It’s great to read about those kids who are thriving, but it is also important to acknowledge the kids who are struggling, and what their parents are going through.</p>
<p>I don’t post often, mostly I just lurk, but I have found this thread to be a great source of information, encouragement, and humor. Thanks for your wonderful posts!</p>
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<p>I agree. What I think is also important to remember is that “everyone has their issues” even amid academic (or any kind of) success. And everyone has some struggles even when they might not impact them in a more public way. </p>
<p>I so wish this place had existed (and if it did I knew about it) back in 2003/2004 when my own daughter was flunking out. I am sure we would have avoided certain things while also allowing for some of what became inevitable to not consume us as a family. I know for a fact I would have pushed for certain thngs and let others go as out of my control. While it all seems to be working out in the end, I would by lying if I haven’t considered how many years were wasted. And too… I would have started with the gap year. But you can’t look back and can only move forward.</p>
<p>Missy., I think promoting the consumer mentality with your son is an excellent one. It is in the college’s best interest to keep their customers coming back. Plus, based on the other threads currently getting the most action on CC, any kind of help a school offers is probably getting a lot more business this semester.</p>
<p>I’m in on the trip to Spain. Wine, tapas, chocolate…I guess the food diary will have to stay home.</p>
<p>Fallgirl, we’ll be doing so much walking in gorgeous surroundings that the calories will melt off. How about a nice hike around Montserrat?</p>
<p>I’m still in la la land here as S doesn’t head back to school until Sunday. I’m up for the Barcelona trip! Actually, we’ll be there post-cruise for 3 days this fall celebrating H and my anniversary, so any tips from Missy would be appreciated!</p>
<p>S is a little shocked by his mediocre grades, but is taking full responsibility - quite a change from HS. He is still hoping for law school and calculated what his gpa would be at the end of four years if got straight A’s for the balance of undergrad. A very different mindset, but I’ll withhold my ecstasy until the mid-term grades come out.</p>
<p>Thanks for the tips here on asking for help - I have a full page of them to give him before he heads off.</p>
<p>No matter how stressful it is for our kids or us, it still doesn’t hold a candle to the panic I was feeling a year ago at this time!</p>
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<p>Went to a mtg yesterday at D’s schools and it was like flashback city. Many mom’s lamenting that they wished the kid had applied EA to at least one school and many other’s in a slight panic about kiddo having been deferred into RD round. The senior lounge area was a mix of the beginnings of second semester senior slump and the stressed out and harried. Easy to see who was “done” and for whom the wait very much continued. From those having been there and done that a common refrain was that this is just the first step in what sometimes seems like a marathon of them.</p>
<p>I’m in for the trip to Spain – can I get on the plane!!! I could really use a trip.</p>
<p>S’s B’day is tomorrow and I am sending the Whoopie Pies that someone mentioned on this site. </p>
<p>So any one have any idea for where to get a Cookie Cake sent? I did an email check and I can’t say that I saw anything interesting. Thought maybe you could give me some ideas.</p>
<p>Oh the Cookie Cake is for my D in Maine who has a B’day in 1 month.</p>
<p>Don’t know any online but check school website sometimes teams deliver this. Maybe the online box office if they have one.</p>
<p>Good idea Modadunn but I didn’t see anything like it when I looked. Very small school. Maybe not that much ask for it. They do list some local bakeries that I checked out but again didn’t see Cookie Cakes and she doesn’t like regular cakes – go figure.</p>
<p>500 pages WOOOOOTTTTTTT!!!</p>
<p>RM, if you are a Costco member they have a couple of chocolate chip cookie pies that you can order through them. Otherwise if you google mail order cookie cake it looks like there are a lot of options. Are there any bakeries local to your D’s school that might let you order at a distance?</p>
<p>I started thinking about this last fall when I realized that D would be away for her birthday. When I was in college, our food service had great cakes that your parents could order for you. I haven’t heard of anything similar at D’s school.</p>
<p>Mrs. Field’s has birthday cookie cakes.</p>
<p>I’m ready to join the trip to Spain. Churros y chocolate, yum. Tapas, yum yum. George, yum yum yum.</p>
<p>A few pages back someone said that Calc II and Physics are gut courses. That made me take a second look, until I realized there are, apparently, two different meanings for “gut.” When I went to college, a “gut” was the easiest possible class, not something like Calc II but something like Rocks for Jocks, the geology class a student took if she was looking for an easy A.</p>
<p>That was me! I had no idea there were different meanings. I googled it and of course see all kinds of references to an easy course. When I was in school a gut course was an exceptionally difficult one. Perhaps regional differences? Just so we’re clear, I do not believe Calc II and Physics to be easy courses.</p>
<p>Oh waaaaa
I just watched the first part of American Idol (before I turned it because these first episodes are so mean spirited) and listened to a girl sing Hallelujah.
My son used to perform this as a solo piece and the last time he did so people in the audience were crying. This song tonight just sent me over the edge. I thought I had been holding it together pretty well. Guess it’s closer to the surface than I admitted to myself.</p>
<p>Not a costco member. I don’t think we even have any locally. I saw the Mrs. Fields website. Thanks I may try that. Just didn’t know if anyone had used someone and had good/bad luck with them. I thought that the bakeries near campus might have something but it doesn’t look like if from their websites.</p>