<p>Ah, downtoearth, you’ve mentioned health issues over the past few weeks, so sorry to hear you had a positive biopsy but I’m sending prayers that the outcome is positive. I guess you’re doing the best thing possible for yourself and your family by just putting one foot in front of the other. We’re here for you.</p>
<p>All that’s left for S is graduation next Thursday. Just found out he’s giving a speech next week at the teacher appreciation event for his very favorite teacher. He doesn’t want me to come, so in exchange I made him promise to read me his speech. </p>
<p>I’m still concerned he’s missing some life skills (i.e., he had to make an envelope for the school to send his transcripts to his college and didn’t know where to put the address…ouch), but I’m proud of him and know he’ll figure it all out. she hopes.</p>
<p>Here’s hoping all of our…uhm, ‘underfocused and undermotivated’ boys become the capable men we know they can be, and that we’re overjoyed at their growth when they come home from college the first time.</p>
<p>I just did something I’ve been putting off - made Son a Drs. appointment for the afternoon we take him to school…he needs a local relationship for his ADD meds…I wanted to make it his job to go get the prescription every month, rather than us keeping track of his pills, getting the prescription, mailing it down, etc. And if he doesn’t keep up with his prescription, his roommate will be asking for a transfer.</p>
<p>missypie, excellent decision. Be sure to have your S bring copies of his medical records and I would encourage him to complete whatever documentation the doc needs for you to be able to discuss issues with the doc if that becomes necessary.</p>
<p>We told S we would not use the proivacy waiver as a means to snoop into his medical life, but if he were in a crisis or unable to communciate his desires to a doc, we wanted to be able to assist him, consistent with his wishes.</p>
<p>privacy schmivacy
Our S’s going to school on our dime is contingent on a signed privacy waiver. He has no issues with that at all. His school in fact sends grades home to all parents unless the kid is not claimed as a dependent on anyone’s tax returns and they pretty much insist the kids sign the waivers and they encourage us to stay involved. Seems maybe there are a lot of kids similar to mine at this school LOL
When he is on his own, paying his own way, I guess we won’t have “need to know” status, but until then… I look forward to the day when we have no need at all to mind his business and we can just mind our own. Now that will be a day worth celebrating!</p>
<p>countingdown—sending healing your way and thanks for sharing that here. I am proud of you too, its amazing what we women can pull off. hope you can enjoy the party…</p>
<p>lindz – it’s downtoearth who’s having the current health issue, so I am forwarding all those good healing vibes to her today. I’m doing about the same and am happy to report I just passed seven years!</p>
<h1>theorymom – yeah, S1 readily agreed, but we would have pushed the issue if necessary. His school sends home report cards as long as we are claiming him as a dependent. Too much $$ involved here to sit by and wait for an implosion. While he had a big bump in the road mid-year with one class, he seems to have corrected course and it sounds like he will do extremely well this quarter.</h1>
<h1>theorymom it is called “THE HAPPY DANCE” and quite frankly after needing for H and I to hunt through the pile in his closet to find the source of the smell…backpack from what year we do not know. H put it on the front porch for S’s arrival home. sigh. 57 days till we do at least a little happy dance. looking forward to dinners out and happy hour (the baby boomer senior menu is what I have named it).</h1>
<p>ok!!! lookin’ forward to dancin that happy dance!
I might have thought I would be dancing it now, given we are “done” but it just doesn’t feel like the time yet.
Maybe when he is safely ensconsed in school and we can breathe.
Love t’all you. Hugs and congrats.</p>
<h1>theorymom, if you are still thinking about a gap year, here’s some unsolicited data. I was in London the other day having dinner with a couple of cousins who went to Oxford and are now both parents of kids under 10 (one has three and the other two with a third one on the way). Both took a year off before starting at Oxford and both remarked that the one year made a lot of difference and that the 18 year olds were seemed much more immature than they were when they were just one year older. I asked them what the difference was and they said, “They did such stupid things.” Then one (who is very funny) said, “We did stupid things too but they were different stupid things.”</h1>
<p>I have read that kids with some learning disabilities take longer to mature. Although your son has not been diagnosed, based on your description, it wouldn’t be surprising if he had one or more LDs. In addition, although normal teenagers tend to be pretty disorganized (in general, the pre-frontal cortex which helps with judgment in decision-making and (I think) organization is still forming in the late teen years), our neuropsychologist told us years ago that the what distinguishes the kids with LDs who do well in school from those who don’t is time management skills. The Dean for Disabilities at my son’s school said the same thing. We’re planning a little practice on that this summer and might even do something online so it can be shared. In your son’s case, a year off might really help in the further development of his brain. You might even be able to address some of the learning issues and especially planning.</p>
<p>Our son has generally been OK at working backwards from assignments to say “I can’t go out this weekend because I have a paper due on Friday and will have to get X and Y done mid-week so I need to work on the paper on Saturday and Sunday.” However, he’s had help in working on that kind of backward planning. In all other regards, if his head wasn’t attached securely, he might have left it numerous times. But, things change. He flew down to Tennessee this week to meet his friends at a big music festival. My wife, who took him to the 7 AM flight, commented to me on how organized he was. He had thought of everything he would need and was fully packed the night before. So, maybe, just maybe, we are seeing a change at age 19.</p>
<p>Hi all. Checking in post-graduation and haven’t caught up on everyone’s lives, though I see congrats are in order for Cpeltz, and good health thoughts for downtoearth. It’s been a whirlwind, but we drove over to the beach for a couple of days to decompress, which seems to already be working. Left S2 (graduate) alone at home, and am trusting he will follow directions…no friends over etc. and will continue to check in. Could NEVER have done this with S1. As my friends point out, he will not be under your roof in 2 months…it IS hard for us micromanagers…</p>
<p>Tomorrow we’re “interviewing” a 4 year old rescue golden retriever to see if he might be interested in joining our family. We had adopted our last GR at 4 years as well. I had wanted to find someone a little younger, but he sounds like a fabulous dog whose owners had a beautiful home that he was never allowed in–raised in the garage. Owners didn’t know if he was house trained (he is) or if he was good with children (apparently he is). Aye yi yi. You get a dog past all the bad habits, at the point where they’re just all about the love, and THEN you get rid of it? Anyone care to bet the odds we DON’T bring him home?</p>
<p>By the way, the single best inexpensive purchase you can make for you child’s dorm room is a 6 outlet surge protector. There are NEVER enough outlets for computer, printer, cell phone, lamp etc. in a dorm room. $4.99/Fryes.</p>
<p>Hello everyone–for those who aren’t graduated yet, enjoy the engagement. For those post-ceremony, let’s hope we get some kind of honeymoon period!</p>
<p>Good luck to those of you still working your way towards graduation, congrats to those who have survived and healthy vibes to downtoearth.</p>
<p>A collective sigh of relief in our household today, as we made it through a successful grad party last night. The weather held and we could be outdoors which was great with the 100+ who attended. It was so much fun to see all D’s friends and people who have supported her and helped her succeed from all parts of her life. A very happy occasion. </p>
<p>Now it looks like we have a few weeks of calm ahead. I can actually focus on work again and we’ll have time for summer fun. Soon enough we’ll turn to thinking about college preparations, but for right now we’ll enjoy the arrival of summer!</p>
<p>Congrats on the successful parties and trips, everyone.</p>
<p>Meloncholy today. All three kids left early this morning for church youth choir tour. I’d have killed for this day without kids, by the pool, ten years ago, but now I just found things to worry and be sad about. (But I did finish the June CC Book Club selection which I highly recommend.)</p>
<p>Son’s final transcript came - he’s back down to the top 21% - I wonder if his school will take away the extra money they gave him when he went from 21% to 20% last winter. 19 students didn’t graduate, thus the decline in percentile. I guess I should count my blessings that he ended up where he did, instead of being one of the 19.</p>
<p>All these years, Son has had one good friend in youth choir and she graduated last year. I really don’t know who he’s going to hang out with on this trip. They flew Southwest and had one stop - when they could move around, his “friend” he was sitting by moved to sit somewhere else, so the rest of the flight he sat by strangers…traveling with 30 people you know and no one to sit by - it happens to him so often.</p>
<p>Ah Missypie, that’s not a comforting picture for your S on the flight. He gets a fresh new start at college, and the kids will be much more mature and hopefully more accepting of other kids who are unique.</p>
<p>Northernwoods, 100+? That’s like a wedding! We’ll have a dozen for dinner when S graduates this Thursday.</p>
<p>He got his dorm assignment today. He put in his first three choices for triples, as they all have private baths, and got his second choice with is an all male dorm (260 boys/men). I think he’s secretly thrilled as am I. I’m hoping it gives him more focus and a great connection with a bunch of guys…they turned the dining room into a “man cave” a couple of years ago with big screen TV, pool tables, pizza bar, etc. And a big plus - one of his roommates is also from Southern California!</p>
<p>{{{hugs}}} missypie. I know how you are feeling.
But I tell myself (and you) it will be a mere blip on his life’s radar. He will make friends for life in the next few years. He will mature as well. He will be happy.</p>
<p>First, many kudos to all of you in surviving graduation.</p>
<p>We held it today at my son’s school. The ceremony lasted just 100 minutes – praise to all because it was very hot in the gym (no air, old school). I had the honor of presenting my son with his diploma. That’s a tradition at our school – the teachers who have kids walking can present the diploma. My friend did the same with her daughter, who happens to be one of my son’s best friends. The kids gave outstanding speeches (all right, my son was the valedictorian, so …). They were short, sweet and often very funny. Had a nice gathering at the house, including three staff members who worked or taught my son. </p>
<p>We’ll spend the rest of the week doing leftovers!</p>
<p>Graduation on Friday night went well…I cried, D2 didn’t see me. All is well! H and I worked the lock in last night…we are tired and delirious. Heading back to sleep…they had graduation inside…grrr…slight chance of rain that never developed. Wow…I feel old, happy and strange all at the same time.</p>
<p>Our school also has the tradition of parent teachers presenting their kids with diplomas…it’s sweet to observe…and the mom of the Val…super-sweet!</p>
<p>I texted Son and he said he was having a great time and was not lonely. The youth choir directors do a great job of including everyone, because believe me, church choirs attract more than their share of the quirky…it’s just situations like having to choose someone to sit by on the plane that are tricky. And who knows…he may have spent the whole first leg of the flight listening to his iPod (not talking to his seatmate.)</p>
