<p>Yesterday was a big day for my D - shopping for her first “real” saxophone. We found a great guy who repairs and sells wonderful instruments. She played about 8 of them and took one home for a few days to make sure she’s really in love. It definitely was one she could play all day long, and sounded beautiful … and it looks cool, too. She’s nervous about letting us make this investment; it’s not a huge cost, about 3 years’ worth of rental, and probably an excellent resale value, but she knows it means something. She was sorry the one she liked was at the top of our price range - but I told her that I’d set that price range very thoughtfully and am absolutely willing to pay it.</p>
<p>I’m telling the story because the process became part of the learning experience - we had a talk about how you grow up, how your interests get refined. I think this transition from Junior to Senior year is very significant, and for her, the saxophone is a great illustration.</p>
<p>Juniors are trying to do as much as they can, as deeply as they can, as well as they can, because it’s the last full year colleges see, and in a lot of ways they are the go-to kids at the HS to get a lot done in ECs, because they’re so focused. </p>
<p>Senior year has a dual quality - in some things they continue to strive for “achievement,” in a measurable and public way, such as finishing off their sports/theater/music/academic team career at their goal level, or filling a leadership role they’ve always looked forward to, or simply competing a program of academics that they are proud of. But in other things they are more private, more personal and often less quantitative. I think for a lot of kids, even when they fulfill those public goals, they find their heart is a little less in it than they’d expected, but I would say to them that this is normal - they are ready to leave the HS arena, and naturally those rewards might feel a little thinner than they’d always dreamed (even from a few months before, when they were a Junior). </p>
<p>Senior year is when a kid might find their energy is going more for the kinds of things to do or ways to be that they will continue in college - perhaps an activity that has no actual place in HS, or maybe something they do for the pure enjoyment of, whether people in HS see it, or care about it, at all. </p>
<p>I think finding these things helps senioritis, and I also think it helps them have the stamina for the HS stuff - if you have everything invested in a place that suddenly loses its appeal, that’s way harder than just seeing it as a part of your life, and having somewhere else to “recharge.” My D1 had a great academic record and an ED acceptance to her dream school locked up by December; she managed to stay sane the rest of the year by 1) making a few personal goals and sticking with them, while also letting herself off the hook a bit, 2) enjoying a few low-pressure hobbies to relax, and also finding a more mature enjoyment in some of the other activities she had (this was when she finally “got” playing jazz), and 3) putting more of her energy in helping the underclassmen enjoy the activities in which she was so fortunate herself to have had support from older students. It was still a hard year, but it didn’t go completely to pot, fortunately.</p>
<p>D2, while not the same kind of conventional achiever, has had a Junior year to be proud of. Many of her interests and activities will come to a nice peak this coming year, and she should have the most rewarding academic year of all, too. But I’m also encouraging her to see what she does also as “lifelong loves,” and this is why we’re investing in the saxophone now. She spent many years as a very committed band student, but spring of 10th grade that fell apart (too long a story to tell - please believe that we are well-supported in saying that the band teacher was horrible to her, regardless of the fact that she was one of the most talented and dedicated kids in the program). She tried to play on her own this year, but had a lot of other activities, and the saxophone got a little lost for the past 6 months.</p>
<p>What I’m hoping she’ll understand, and feel, is that her relationship with the sax is HERS. It’s not what chair she is in band, or what scores she gets in music competitions, or even what anyone thinks about how she plays. Right now it’s all about just loving to play it. And that’s something she’s gotten a hold of again, in a mature, lasting way, and that’s why I want her to own one. She needs the freedom to take it to college, as part of the collection of things in her life, as part of who she is, as SHE defines it. </p>
<p>I had my own personal vision for Junior year, and I couldn’t be happier. I have another vision for Senior year - again, more about HOW she is, WHO she is - and I think she is starting her first steps with that, becoming the kid after HS who takes what she did and what she learned, and makes her life from it.</p>
<p>And as a bonus, this summer she has the part of a sassy, jazzy saxophone player in a play (not in the pit, but an acting part). I’m so looking forward to seeing it, after our experience a year ago, where someone tried to take her pride and joy in this instrument away from her. No one but us will really know what it will mean to see her up there, holding that instrument, having that identity. It will be a wonderful first step on this new path.</p>
LuckyBoy is such an overachiever :rolleyes: —apparently there are 2 separate strains of mono (who knew?) and he managed to get both! Yippee! No “saliva contact” for 2 months (hahaha) and no sports either.</p>