Parents of the HS Class of 2011 - Original

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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<p>ShawD’s school’s College Counseling Office sent out end-of-junior year-transcripts and the agreed college list and ShawD’s college counselor wrote that ShawD had an “amazing” list (lord help us) and that she could add a Reach or two as it is heavier on Likelies and Possibles. Interestingly enough, I thought McGill, Hamilton and University of Rochester would be Reaches, but she has listed them as Possibles, so I’m not completely sure what Reaches for her would be. The only school currently on the counselor’s list as a reach is St. Mary’s College of Maryland (actually she wrote that it was between Possible and a Reach), which had kind of dropped of ShawD’s list. </p>

<p>ShawD wouldn’t get into Ivies or Little Ivies – I’d call them hyper-reaches. ShawD wouldn’t want to go to any of those schools. She took a tour of Amherst and half an hour into the tour, she told her mom that she wouldn’t want to go there even if she could get in because there was too much pressure and had a viscerally negative reaction to the sense of pressure. The counselor has College of Wooster as a Likely and Colby (not really on ShawD’s list) as a Possible. We had these as Possible and Reach, so we may need to recalibrate. </p>

<p>Perhaps because we didn’t discover her ADHD until sophomore year and she didn’t start taking Ritalin until junior year (it was masked by a major medical problem), she’s not that confident academically and I’d rather have her be a bigger fish in a somewhat less competitive pond. So, I’m a little confused. As far as I can tell, her unweighted GPA is 3.2 and her Weighted GPA is 3.5, although her grades have gone up each year (UW GPA 3 freshman year to 3.1 sophomore year to 3.6 junior year and WGPA went from 3 to 3.35 to 4.0) and it is a private school that is known to grade harder than lots of schools. We’ve got a bunch of Canadian schools on her list as she’s a dual citizen and she likes Canada and all but McGill are down as Likelies. Any thoughts on schools that would be Reaches for her that are small-ish, supportive and not too competitive-feeling?</p>

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<p>Question</p>

<p>Shouldn’t the hs GC be able to tell the parent/student if the curriculum siad studnet has taken and plans for sr yr is most rigorous or not??</p>

<p>When asking the GC–she said that it was “confidential” Huh?</p>

<p>The GC form has lots of info on it–and some of it may be confidential–
however whether the curriculum was most rigorous or not–isn’t a “confidential” type of question , is it?</p>

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<p>Good points–
We tell kiddo to keep moving forward–keep focused on what is important to kiddo…that hs is not the be all, end all…and really all of the “nostalgia” of being together stuff pretty much fades away when you get into college and move on with our life.</p>

<p>I recall the day before graduation from college–someone I had hung out with for a week bwtween exams and stuff–and the big day–said
“Good luck, Have a nice life”…!
That was kind of a shock because I hadn’t thought about not seeing these college people again–
Don’t know why–because it wasn’t like I was keeping up with alot of the hs people…</p>

<p>We have gently let our student know that the nice bubble of hs etc goes away–etc–</p>

<p>I have been surprised by what has happened to the hs crowd of my grad yr…some did well…and for some -hs was THE pinacle…</p>

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<p>Absolutely! Yes, it should be confidential what another particular student is taking or has taken. But, a GC should be able tell your student if they are taking the most rigorous classes or not, and if not, what classes they should be taking instead.</p>

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<p>I was willing to sound somewhat cynical for the sake of discussion - usually I think I’m a “smell the roses” and “make lemonade” kind of person on CC. I worry I’m too much so, actually, really don’t want to use this as a place to complain unless absolutely necessary. </p>

<p>I definitely agree that I’d like to see a HS kid who’s able to enjoy it and be generally happy. It’s way better than the alternative! </p>

<p>I just think that being happy in HS can come in many ways, and when it’s too tied to the HS kind of perks - getting praise from teachers, being a cool kid, having friends who define your life, being famous in your town for some kind of accomplishment - it’s a little too fragile for my taste. I’m not saying anyone here’s kid is like that; I’m just philosophizing. </p>

<p>When I worked counseling teenagers, a very useful phrase we used was “You can go wherever you want, but you have to take you with you.” This has continued to be handy throughout my life. So many HS kids (and people in general) think their problems are inherent in their surroundings - and so often they also base their happiness on their surroundings, too. I think HS is a hotbed for this kind of thinking, because there’s such a microscope feeling. I think they’ll have a better time moving on if they get out from under the microscope, for better or worse, once in a while, and get a fresh look at themselves. THAT’s who’s going with them to college, not the image people have of them in the HS world.</p>

<p>Yes, fogfog, I agree that moving on from college can feel the same way. I was sadder leaving college, though, because it had been a place I chose and felt really good about, and I didn’t mind how it meshed with my identity. It still does! That’s a feeling I do wish on young people, very different.</p>

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<p>shaw - I’m not sure what kind of school your D likes. McGill, Rochester and Wooster are all pretty different in personality, size, location, etc.</p>

<p>I’m wondering if some of the midwest’s great LACs might have the atmosphere she’s looking for, as slightly higher reaches. Kenyon, Oberlin, Macalester, and Carleton come to mind. Brandeis, perhaps? The Amherst example was very helpful. I’m not sure she’d really see Colby as very different from Amherst (I know it’s not on her list, just an example). I imagine you’ve been looking at the Colleges That Change Lives list?</p>

<p>I’m not sure the GC is right about reaches, though. My D2 has a very similar grade pattern to yours and I’d say we’re in a similar boat for matches and safeties. Are her scores exceptional? I know she goes to a high quality HS (mine doesn’t). My D1 goes to Tufts and finds people very smart but not overtly competitive (D1 had an UW 4.0 and 31 ACT, so she’s in a little different boat). My D2 has gone back and forth on more competitive reaches - she does like Vassar, in theory - but she, too, probably wouldn’t thrive in that atmosphere, at least at this point. I’m not sure I’ll encourage her to reach much higher, either, unless we really see a different kind of kid in the next few months.</p>

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<p>PS Just got back from TS3. OK, I’ll give it to the Class of '10, but it sure was wonderful!</p>

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<p>Emmybet, I think the profile is going to small-ish, good for biology, not too pressured but high intellectual standards. She doesn’t want to go to a school where fraternities and sororities are major parts of the social scene and would be perfectly happy if the school had de miminimus athletic programs. She also is a dancer, though she’d just like to be in classes rather than perform. She also doesn’t want schools with a female to male ratio in excess of 60/40, though Goucher exceeds that.</p>

<p>McGill is in the list because a) all of our bright Canadian relatives went there and b) we have a house in the Laurentians that we go to every summer and some winters but I don’t think it is a good choice for her (too big, too impersonal). Several of the other Canadian schools on her list are Mount Allison, Acadia, Kings/Dalhousie, and Queens. Queens is large but ShawD is thrilled because they have a class open to freshman in which the students get to dissect cadavers each week. She loves bio and the human body and may be interested in medicine. So, the school shouldn’t handicap her in case she wants to go to med school. According to the GC, her Likelies are Goucher, Mount Allison, Acadia, New College of Florida and Oxford College of Emory. [I think King’s and Queen’s would be on this list also]. She put Colby, Colorado College, Hamilton, McGill and University of Rochester as Possibles. </p>

<p>ShawD will take the ACTs in September and October. We were waiting until the ACT folks approved 50% extended time that the SAT folks had granted because she feels much more comfortable with the ACT type questions. I’d guess 28-31 now that she’s got the Ritalin as she got a 27 on her first practice attempt without ever preparing for an ACT and she didn’t quite know what to do with the science sections.</p>

<p>I think the Midwest LACs are worth investigating and I have already asked her to think about Kenyon. We live outside of Boston and she wants to go out of state so her mother won’t drop by for breakfast (she’s the baby and her mother actually arranged a couple of times to teach art classes at sleep-away camps). That rules out Brandeis. </p>

<p>Tufts is a great place, though more for kids with your D1’s numbers than for ShawD, I would think. (I know a girl with 2340 SATs and top 10% class rank from an incredibly tough Boston private high school who got rejected from Tufts this year.) We’re friends with many professors and the President (who is a gem but, unfortunately for the school, going to leave at the end of the year). But, it is 20 minutes from our house and my wife probably would show up for breakfast.</p>

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<p>That is very funny about location! Sounds like your geographical ideas are right on.</p>

<p>I think my D1, who had good stats, also benefited from the “no-name town in the boonies” factor.</p>

<p>This D1, who is a Bio major, knows some kids at Denison, which sounds really wonderful. I know you’re getting lots of advice from people on the tri-state schools. Another one I thought of is Kalamazoo, which has the bonus of being across the street from a big MI state U, so if she needs a particular science course, for example, she has resources beyond the LAC.</p>

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<p>Oh EmmyBet I completely agree-great quote about having to take you with you! So true-also known as the geographical cure. Moving doesn’t fix your problems because you bring yourself along!</p>

<p>I also agree that it will be good for him to get away from the microscope-I know he feels pressure to be the “good kid” all the time-we talk about this a lot. He really needs to go away to college instead of opting for the safe route and staying too close to home. </p>

<p>That’s funny about not going to Boston for fear Mom will drop by for coffee! He has been looking at Brandeis since someone suggested it to him. We only live an hour or so from Boston so that may be too close for him or may be just right-who knows?</p>

<p>I have a question about courses next year. I don’t know if anyone has had this situation but our town school system is having to cope with lack of funds-I know we are not alone here. The problem and one of the things stressing him out which he just talked to me about today is his class selections may be in shambles. The recent town budget meeting did not go our way and we were unable to get funding restored. This is a problem for my D entering 8th grade but I of course will focus on him since this IS the Class of 2011/2015 thread! </p>

<p>Here is the issue-they have been talking about cutting Honors classes at the HS (of course that’s always the first to go around here). He was talking to his Science teacher this week and she told him she will not be able to offer an additional Chem 2 class next year since she will be down a science teacher. Same problem with other classes-the English and History departments are also losing a teacher. Bottom line is he will not know until about two weeks before classes start what classes he will get and if he doesn’t get the two science classes he needs he won’t meet the lab requirements for 4 years of science-even though he has taken science every year one year isn’t considered a lab. I was amazed at how much info an earlier poster was getting from their GC-ours has been useless and we only discovered this lab situation after I insisted he go see her before making course selections for next year. </p>

<p>Has anyone ever had or heard of this happening to a kid-not meeting college requirements because the HS couldn’t offer the classes or couldn’t schedule the student so they could take what they needed? This is just stunning to me.</p>

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<p>^^ holy moly!</p>

<p>Is it possible to take them at a state community college and get dual credit…</p>

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<p>I was wondering about that-I will have to look into that option.</p>

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<p>Only when a kid flunked a class or messed up on schedule and ended up not taking the available requirements for some reason. I imagine that the school committee would wave any requirement the child couldn’t meet through no fault of their own. I would also think sr.'s would get priority on required classes.</p>

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<p>I would think so, although I bet most parents and students don’t know enough to ask. We asked a few weeks ago and the GC gave us an answer after a quick reveiw of S’s classes.</p>

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<p>I just caught up on a week of posts :slight_smile: Welcome to all the new members! And it’s nice to see some students joining in. LuckyBoy has NO IDEA about this little “habit” of mine :D</p>

<p>Mono summer continues :rolleyes: Poor guy! Not much going on in the college search front. Mailings arrive every day, some get looked at, some get tossed onto the pile. I immediately recycle the ones that are just form letters or that he’d never attend. He has not done anything to prune The Big List. And frankly, I haven’t been on him to do so. He had such a stressful school year, both academically and emotionally (my mom’s death hit everyone in the family), that I think he should just have some time to be a kid. He’s spent time online chatting with his Austrian friends, making music, reading for fun (Art of War! something on game theory!), playing with LuckyYoungest and Little Cousins, and helping out a friend with his Eagle project. He has been working on his own Eagle process, too :D</p>

<p>I’ve been focused on choosing LuckyYoungest’s curriculum/books/readings/activities for next year. We’re going to be homeschooling her for academic reasons for grades 5-8. She might be one of those kids taking APs in freshman year ;)</p>

<p>The boy gets another “free” week and then I’ll have get to work. He is signed up for the super duper dog and pony show visit day at the Oh So Local State Flagship next month. Progress, right? </p>

<p>Hope you all enjoy the rest of the weekend :)</p>

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<p>KLucky, thanks for the update on the mono. Glad he has some time to take it easy and enjoy some stress-free summer things.</p>

<p>Just talked to songbird’s friend (who I think I mentioned had mono starting in March, and she said she feels 95% back to normal. She’s full-time back to all her old activities (MT, dance team, cheerleading) but says once in a great while that distinctive mono headache threatens to come back and she knows she has to lie down for a bit.</p>

<p>Keep Luckyboy resting as much as possible, especially with his super-achievement of acquiring BOTH strains at the same time. (A little ostentatious, don’t you think? :slight_smile: :)</p>

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<p>Pepper, I am sure that if they cut courses, they would not let scheduling conflicts prevent people from graduating (although graduate requirements are set by the state). With respect to classes cut, we set up a partial homeschooling plan for ShawSon and hired a grad student from Harvard as a weekly tutor in math. It can work, but requires negotiations with the school system.</p>

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<p>Happy Father’s Day, dads!</p>

<p>Is the question whether he can get the 4 years of lab science to graduate HS, or to have the 4 years colleges are expecting? </p>

<p>I guess I’m surprised that a public HS would require 4 years of lab science - your average HS student wouldn’t want or be able to comply with this requirement. I think our schools here generally only require 2-3 years, and at least one would be an intro course or one without a lab. And I think a district that doesn’t offer enough courses is unfair in insisting kids have them to graduate. </p>

<p>As for colleges, they will just want the kids to have taken the most of what was available. Sure, they’re impressed if you’ve gone outside the HS to get more, but it’s not a golden key to the “best” schools. It’s his choice at that point. Of course it’s incredibly frustrating when the schools have limited resources - and my heart is with you, Pepper, having gone through a very tight vote on school spending in our town, barely squeaking by with a temporary funding plan that won’t kill the district (yet). I’d just like to chime in with the attitude that you can only do what you can do, and it will only make you and your S (who already sounds like a real plum!) crazy to get into a “CC-like” panic about not being good enough. </p>

<p>If his passion and joy is to study this, then it would be great if he can find a way. If he has other things on his plate and is going to have a great year regardless, that’s great, too. If the district really falls flat on him this year, and I grieve for you if that’s happening in so many subjects, then it will behoove him to find his own meaning, either through other institutions, tutors, independent study. I took university extension classes when I was a senior, and it was a great experience, both academically and personally. </p>

<p>This is nowhere near as important, because grad requirements don’t enter into it at all, but my D was heartbroken when they had to cancel the advanced choir class she’s been in for 2 years (a select group, above choirs 1 and 2). They’ll meet as an EC, so she’ll still be in the group, but she was left with a big hole in her school day plans. As it turns out, the choir teacher will give her an independent study working on music, learning more about arranging, learning how to use their recording studio equipment, teaching younger students - in the long run, she’ll get a pretty great experience, maybe even more valuable than the other. We’re grateful he was able to set this up, but the important thing was she got to open up her thinking and come up with something she’s really excited about.</p>

<p>It’s terrible that these fiscal handcuffs are hurting kids all over the country. But I do think a kid with some imagination can benefit from the “close a door-open a window” approach.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>My H has strongly recommended that I do NOT see TS3. Probably a wise piece of advice…</p>

<p>DD will most likely head out of state in a year and dreams of living away for a while.<br>
One of my goals for the year: not to let the application process and “season of anticipation” overshadow the treasured family time! I plan to enjoy having one more year with her in the house.</p>

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<p>It is a requirement for some colleges-not to graduate from HS.</p>

<p>His passion is writing and the English language but he also likes the sciences and math-everything it seems but my love (history.) I am a firm believer in the "when one door closes another opens’ approach as well. We will have to have a contingency plan in case he can’t get all his classes-and at this point as I said who knows what will happen. I will be a regular at school committee meetings all summer trying to keep in the loop with what is going on and trying to save the foreign language program at the middle school. </p>

<p>I am sorry about your daughter losing chorus. I do think that’s a big deal. One of the things he has already had to give up due to scheduling is a 1/2 year of band-he may have to give it up entirely and this is something he loves so I understand how your daughter feels.</p>

<p>A lot of students all over the country are going to have to deal with what we are up against-we’ll just have to do our best to try and get him what he needs.</p>

<p>He seems a lot happier today. He shared his latest book idea with us and is going to start to write it. This will be his second-his first one is still being read by his English teacher and she will be in touch with him over the summer-I think it is incredibly nice of her to spend so much time with it-it is over 400 pages and she has two young children so it’s not like she has all kinds of free time on her hands. He has been blessed with some incredibly dedicated teachers who have gone above and beyond for him and really all the kids.</p>

<p>I too mnmomof2 will be cherishing his last year of being with us “full-time”!</p>

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<p>Good for you, Pepper. I know colleges will think your son is great.</p>

<p>Luckily my D still has the upper level choir - although who knows what would have happened if our town referendum hadn’t passed by the skin of its teeth. The class she lost was actually something the teacher taught above and beyond, outside of his contract, just for the joy of it. She got 2 years. But he’s also willing to take his own time to give her these other opportunities. </p>

<p>There are some lovely people out there. We’re so lucky to have had them in our children’s lives.</p>