<p>emmybet: at least she answered your question…without a “you are soooo annoying”…</p>
<p>I think that’s what sets my husband and I apart:
If he wants to know something about my daughter, he asks me…if I want to know something, I ask her; my first mistake…</p>
<p>I finally lost patience with D, who has still not even finished a draft of her CA essay, and in a desperation move, sent a note to her Dad, with whom she was spending most of the weekend, asking for his assistance in getting her moving in the application process, pointing out that maybe it would help if she heard this from someone other than me, since what I’m saying seems to be white noise. I outlined several items that she should be working on (CA essay, CA w/o essay, setting up interviews, to start). Well apparently he opened up the conversation with D by saying “your mother sent me a note with a list of things for you to do” and D was not happy, thinking that I was now going to start blaming her dad if things didn’t get done. Well no. Just trying to share some parenting tasks (with someone who loves taking credit for all accomplishments, but isn’t particularly inclined to take the laboring oar in anything). The good news is that she did commit to a couple of deadlines, and neither of her EA apps. is due until December 1st. If she meets the deadlines, we should be in pretty good shape. But reading about the submissions and acceptances here is making me a little anxious. And D is such a procrastinator that I foresee a November 30th meltdown. LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP. SHE WILL GET IN SOMEWHERE. I will keep repeating this …</p>
<p>cooker: just heard this EXACT story from a friend here in NJ…down to the email…</p>
<p>rodney - You are right, no eyeroll. BUT she did sneak a few conciliatory looks at H, who was chiming in with, “You’re fine,” “You’ll get it done,” “Of course you will,” etc. </p>
<p>I wasn’t mad, though, because I knew inside that I have to pull back a little. AND I know that he will slam her way harder than I do if she blows this (he was the one who found the old mail in her car - not a fun moment!).</p>
<p>We do become bad guys sometimes … not always such a wrong thing, but it feels lousy … I was telling a friend yesterday about how my parents were very hands-off, always said, “You’ll be fine, you can do these things,” rarely came down on me. BUT I had an older brother by the sidelines saying, “Don’t be so stupid! Why’d you do a dumb thing like that?” - all very caring (he’s one of the most wonderful people I know), but something a teenager needs once in a while.</p>
<p>So I leave out the invectives but both H and I do let her know that in some of this she’s being ridiculous. It’s what I call the 75%/25% balance with seniors: 75% of their stuff we should leave them alone, let them make mistakes and learn to pick up the pieces (or savor their successes), but in that last 25% we still have to jump in and be the boss, or at least threaten to.</p>
<p>I’m ALMOST at the threatening phase … she knows that. That’s why she’s saying, “Well, of COURSE, Mom, that’s what I was GOING to do already!” blah blah blah. </p>
<p>I can live with it.</p>
<p>Had a good/interersting/scary conversation with D about drinking. There are a few friends of hers who have started drinking that I have always considered “good kids.” They are telling her that if she waits until she is 21, she wil “go crazy.” I told her that the parents of my generation are in an odd spot because it was legal for us to drink at 18 or 19. I told her that no matter what, (1) it is illegal, and (2) drinking can get kids busted from their leadership positions and basically all school ECs. I said that being busted could haunt kids on future job applications, etc. It is amazing that some of these kids who have worked so hard to achieve leadership positions at school would risk it all for a couple of drinks at parties.</p>
<p>(Younger D, the freshman, had to chime in with the names of the kids in her class who are drinking.)</p>
<p>Just thought I would chime in here… My DS is only a Junior, but I’m reading this thread so I can get a head’s up on what is in store for us next year and also to get any early info on some strategies or maybe what was a mistake. Well… I now read these posts with total anxiety and panic. We are in the midst of this just with his SAT prep… me nagging, he rolls eyes at me… and says he has everything under control… uh huh… spoken by a kid who had all weekend to do the practice tests but somehow was still up at midnight last night doing them… I’m sure that was a TRUE test. I’m thinking to myself… this signals a lot of fun next year at this time. OMG!!!</p>
<p>Emmybet… always enjoy your posts! They always keep me smiling. Probably had that conversation MANY times in our house. They want to be so independent and in control of their own destiny, but this college stuff is WAY too complicated and intense, that I really don’t think they could do all of it on their own. It’s a full time job. My S also call me his college manager. LOL!!</p>
<p>Ohiomom24… We will be in the same boat next year. We do have a very low EFC so will be hoping for a lot of need based and also merit aid. My strategy this year so far, is to visit the schools that look like are going to be a safety for him, that also give great merit aid first, then hopefully he will fall in love with one a few of them before we set out looking at the more reachier schools. He already has 2 EA schools he likes so that makes me happy.</p>
<p>I’m with all of you on the H getting the easier job of all this. Mine too just asks me all the questions regarding my S and then wants me to do all the nagging. His latest… I’m supposed to tell my S that HE’S going to take away the keys to his car if he doesn’t get all the last bit of paperwork turned in for his Eagle Scout project… URGH!!!</p>
<p>5boys - I still think that the second semester of the Jr. year is the most stressful time of HS. </p>
<p>I will let you in on a little secret that I used for the SAT testing. S had no time last year for any prep, and really didn’t want to take the test multiple times. I kept him home Friday before the test and stayed home myself. Let him sleep in, made him a nice breakfast and let him relax a little bit. Then he did one full practice test and he was happy with that score. I also took away his phone that Friday evening. Didn’t want any GF problems or any friends calling ant talking until 2:00 AM. He wanted to do well on the test, because he didn’t want to retake it, so he was very agreeable. And it worked well for him.</p>
<p>D did hit Submit once on the Common App this weekend. Yay! The other EA app is due Nov 15th and we are visiting tomorrow. So her response " Mom, why should I apply today - I’ll wait till we see it on Tuesday". Oy - one more reason to put things off - the 2 supplemental questions that this school requires are not yet done either. Ah well, need to be happy that she did push the button once!!</p>
<p>She was incredibly tired and frustrated on Friday night, rewriting her essay for what felt like the umpteenth time. Ever the drama queen, she groans “I don’t want to go to college - this is too much work”. Promptly came the response from S - "Then start practicing how to say ‘would you like fries with that?’ !! LOL!!</p>
<p>arisamp,you have me laughing with tears. loved your son’s retort.</p>
<p>aniger: I’m sorry I didn’t remember our pms until you jogged my memory. Did your son consider UPitt or URochester as safety/matches? There is a thread right now on college search about good neuro programs. Many of the schools my son is applying to are discussed. Take a look. I think I saw a thread of yours there not long ago searching for very selective schools which don’t require any essays in their supplements. While these schools are not what you were looking for in that thread as they wld be as I said above safety/match, the Rochester supplement does have required essays but the essay he writes for the CA can be used for Pitt.</p>
<p>Holliesue, Congrats to your D! Gotta remember to check the mail, huh? I’ll pass it along to my D.</p>
<p>Arisamp: that’s a hilarious retort. I remember when my younger D was in a “I hate reading” and “reading’s not important” stage. I was trying reason w/ her about the importance of reading so she could go to college and get a job. She told she’d get a job that doesn’t require any reading. Like what? Even cabdrivers have to read!</p>
<p>aniger, did you ever see this thread?</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/881237-ivy-caliber-safeties-matches-condensed-advice.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/881237-ivy-caliber-safeties-matches-condensed-advice.html</a></p>
<p>The OP, who is now at Swarthmore, took an incredibly detailed research-oriented approach towards looking for schools. Her visit reports are good reading. It’s one thing to have an adult say that a possible safety or match has good academics; it’s another thing to hear from another student (and one with the stats to end up at a tippy-top school) that Match or Safety U offers an excellent education.</p>
<p>ST, that’s a great thread. I saw it last spring and I adore Keil – a very bright, impressive, generous girl w/ a great head on her shoulders. She offered me some wonderful advice for my S via a PM. I hope she’s having a terrific time at Swarthmore.</p>
<p>I am so pleased to read I have accomplished something-thanks all! In my perceived failure I have in fact succeeded! I am in fact awesome!</p>
<p>I may turn over the college process but H can NEVER touch the laundry. :)</p>
<p>The drinking stuff reared its ugly head again this weekend-which does boggle my mind that these kids are so stupid. My S did not go to the party after Homecoming-he was one of the few who didn’t-and he was actually quite upset that he didn’t-I had to hear “I’m a senior and have never been to a HS party” which of course means a drinking party. He didn’t go since he was afraid we would find out-OK whatever works I guess. I told him these parties a lot of times get the cops called to them-would he like to be suspended and maybe lose his chance at being a NMF and possibly a nice scholarship? He didn’t think of that-well I do understand that since he is still a kid but I hope he will think of that next time. I am glad he made the right choice this weekend-but I fear this year is going to have a lot of times he is going to have the same temptation and I wonder if he’ll always make it.</p>
<p>One thing on U Rochester-he visited it this summer with H and he loved it. H thought it too science oriented for him but the more I find out about it the more I think it would be a great fit for him. A lot of this is going to depend on what merit aid he gets offered.</p>
<p>OK back to lurking. :)</p>
<p>When my kids point out a really nice car, I say “I bet that driver is really good at math!” The kids groan every time! </p>
<p>D ordered the cap and gown over the weekend. Hard to believe. I am having a lot of photos scanned next week. This project was driven in part by the desire to have some “digital memories” playing somewhere for the graduation party. </p>
<p>D got sick over the weekend; just in time for big year end sporting competition (tonight) and a killer Physics test (tomorrow). 
</p>
<p>Oh how I wish we did not have to wait for D’s admissions decisions! D is in the April admission pile with the exception of the state U (NOT a beloved match/saftey) and a “reach for everyone” December 15 reply. It may be a looong winter here.</p>
<p>Well, I feel a bit like I have been laid off. My constant researching of colleges, editing of essays, cking online app processes…well the job is done (mostly). I know there will be more fin aid stuff but today, I took a walk in the freezy fall sun, listened to the birds and landscapers leaf blowing. Didn’t have a list of things that I needed to bug ds about. The apps are submitted, the LORs sent, the transcripts sent… </p>
<p>The next deadline is 30 days away for the PSU honors app. Cornell deadline isn’t until Jan.
Wow. Peace and quiet.</p>
<p>Argh. Now that the EA apps are mostly done, I went back to the spreadsheet to look at RD apps and requirements. Some of the schools (top 20 schools) on D’s list do require 2 Sat II scores. D did better on the ACT rather than the SAT - so we sent those scores to the EA schools. Her SAT II scores are good - but don’t have the magical ‘7’ in front (just a tad bit short). How critical are these scores? Should she attempt a retake? I know there’s a Dec 4th SAT date that she could try shooting for (I believe registration closes this week for that one).</p>
<p>Amandakayak - Out here, it feels like it always something …am waiting for the day when I can enjoy the peace and quiet!</p>
<p>arisamp: don’t some of those schools accept ACT in lieu of SAT II scores?..which would be better if they did?..not sure if that has changed recently though; I know that when I went through this process with my older daughter, her ACT could have been substituted for SAT II’s</p>
<p>Random thought</p>
<p>Stressed ---- spelled backwards is —Desserts !!!</p>
<p>Pass the martinis and brownies please :D</p>
<p>Stressed backwards = desserts</p>
<p>Well, that explains why my jeans are so tight!</p>
<p>Pass the brownies!</p>
<p>fog – you’ve got me laughing. i won’t even admit to how much i’ve gained in the last year and a half during this stressful process coupled w/ peri-menopause, and how much i have to lose. i really need to go up a size in jeans but i’m so reluctant to do so – afraid that’s tantamount to saying i’m not going to lose this weight. was hoping that today i’d start the diet in earnest but i’ll admit that i ate a few halloween candies. my S had an appt w/ his allergist and i just dropped off all the remaining candy at that office. thank god my kids are too old to trick & treat and bring more into the house.</p>
<p>seriously, i need to lose at least 20 lbs before he graduates.</p>