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Really? At our school (small private), the staff sometimes laments that enforcement has been TOO good…this was a decent money-maker for them the first 6 months…after that, no one violated it. The school is totally serious about it, duly warns new students and parents, and most parents made their kids fork over the $50 from their own pockets. That pretty much put the kabash on it. Nowadays, violaters are very few and far between.</p>
<p>mrdysart–Welcome! My daughter is like your son–extremely bright but a terrible procrastinator. She loves being involved in everything and doing as much as possible. She never starts her homework until after dinner (in part because she is seldom home before dinner, and sometimes not until 9 p.m. or so). </p>
<p>I made a chart of college deadlines for her. She was happy to see the December 1 deadlines–in her mind, that means she can just do her applications over Thanksgiving. In my mind, that means that she needs to get going now!</p>
<p>Regarding procrastination…I don’t mean this as criticism in any way (of kids OR parents), but in my observation, people’s “styles” of getting work done (or not) are set pretty early in life. Procrastinators seemed to be there in grade school, as were the worker-bees who preferred to be organized and get it done. I’m not sure you’re going to have luck changing a person’s work-style at 17 or 18. A more organized and timely style doesn’t necessarily correlate with success, either. Some people (especially at that age) really do their best work under tremendous deadline pressure. (I used to be one of them.) </p>
<p>By late-twenties or early-thirties, though, most people realize the price they pay in stress is simply too high, and they aren’t willing to continue living that way. So they become somewhat (or much) more organized.</p>
<p>Living with a procrastinator, I’m told, can be hell on earth.</p>
<p>I agree–work-styles are probably set early in life.</p>
<p>However, my daughter wanted me to get a book at the library to read tonight so she can discuss it in Book Club (which is voluntary, and she is not an officer). I asked her to do three simple things, one of which is to ask her GC a question to which she needs the answer in order to submit any applications. All three items could be accomplished by email and completed less than three minutes total (it took me longer than that to drive to the library). We will see what happens.</p>
<p>On opening those envelopes - our college counselor said that families need to figure out in advance who does what. Specifically:
<p>Mine doesn’t want to know about envelopes and doesn’t want me to open them, will try to check news privately (aka on laptop somewhere not too public), and will text news.</p>
<p>Congrats to everyone who’s child has an acceptance–it’s so exciting!</p>
<p>My S hit the SEND button last night on 3 applications. I’m so proud of him–he does have procrastination tendencies (unlike my worker bee daughter) but is keeping them in check. Six more to go; his goal is to have them all done by Thanksgiving so he can concentrate on finals in December.</p>
<p>As far as opening envelopes…that’s his job (and joy or pain) BUT…we do need to figure out if we’ll text him or not. I’m not sure we will…I don’t want him driving off the side of the road while speeding home to open up an envelope!</p>
<p>momofsongbird - well, if there was alot of steam from say, a boiling kettle nearby? if it just opened on its own? it really can’t be held against someone if the thing just fell out of that open envelope, could it? you’d want to pick it up off the floor and if you happened to see something, say scholarship? </p>
<p>I am way more sneaky!</p>
<p>congrats everybody – such great news. love hearing it. </p>
<p>here, i’m letting my S open the mail/email. i clearly remember doing this for myself many moons ago. when his letter from UPitt arrived last week I was walking out the door to fetch his younger brother. had to wait 20 minutes until i arrived home to hear the news about scholarship (knew he got in b/c the large envelope i handed him had “congratulations” written across it). unfortunately, it didn’t contain the scholarship info.; letter said his app is before the scholarship committee and he’ll hear results in a future letter.</p>
<p>Amandakayak, you’re funny!</p>
<p>Of course I take all advice here with a huge handful of salt but I liked the suggestion that the student asking for recommendations should do so via a letter providing more information than allowed on the very abbreviated form that our school uses. So S wrote a separate letter for each of his recommenders and they loved it - to the extent that one of the LORs consists largely of direct, attributed quotes from his original letter. (of course he waived his write to see the letters but this teacher thought hed like a copy and gave him one yesterday.) So what do you think? Shouldnt the letter consist more of what the teacher thinks that what the student has written? And what really can he do about it?! Im hoping the second teacher doesnt cut and paste as freely as the first one did. CONGRATS to everyone whose student has had good news this thread is getting exciting! (meanwhile, at our house, the first app hasnt even gone off yet…)</p>
<p>samuck, that cut-and-paste LOR might still be better than what the teacher would have written otherwise. It sounds like maybe the teacher didn’t know what to write, but was pretty proud of what he/she came up with.</p>
<p>samuck, I agree that the letter should’ve been the teacher’s opinion, rather than a liberal cut-and-paste from his request letter. Our kid’s app packages have ample opportunities to show THEIR work (grades, essay, etc.), and I think this teacher sort of dropped the ball by quoting your son so liberally. Did he/she at least put in some subjective descriptors of your son (i.e., hardworking, creative, diligent, bright, a leader) with specific examples from the classroom to back them up? </p>
<p>Unfortunately, at this point, I don’t think there’s anything you can do. I’m hoping the second teacher writes a terrific letter and, if so, I think colleges will focus more on that one. (The first teacher reflected badly on himself, not your son, but I know how you feel. We just want those letters to be well-written, clear “snapshots” of our kids at their best. Why is that sometimes so difficult?)</p>
<p>Thanks, spdf and momofsongbird, for your comments. I think it’s too late too. The teacher did include some of her own descriptions and used some nice superlatives but it was pretty general, with no real specifics. ( Except she zeroed in quite a bit on his appearance which freaked him out). I am keeping fingers crossed that the second LOR will actually be more useful. And of course the GC writes a letter too – but his GC is new, part time and temporary so can’t quite see how that’s going to work out. As I say, am at least getting to experience some good news vicariously through this thread.</p>
<p>Samuck – Hmmmm. One of the teachers that my son asked to do LOR’s asked him to fill out a one page sheet (in addition to the Naviance forms that the guidance dept. required) where he was to list adjectives to describe himself, to give specific examples of things that he had done in class, etc. The sheet said that these things were likely to be used in the LOR, so don’t be shy, brag! I thought this was a little awkward, as my son was reluctant to talk himself up too much. It was definitely more humble than if I had written it about him! We won’t see the LOR, so we don’t know if the teacher used the information and, if she did, whether she let reader believe that they were her ideas. </p>
<p>In the end, I guess it’s better that they use what the student thinks, especially if the alternative is a weak letter that lacks specifics.</p>
<p>Our GC requires “brag sheets” from both parents and student - its last question: “if you were to write a recommendation, what would it say?” GC stated flat out early in the game that he would cut and paste from that, and who could blame him since he has something like 90 seniors and maybe 200+ students overall…The LORs have a separate similar form but since they go to more than 1 person, I do hope they both didn’t plagerize! Wasn’t there a thread today about a kid being caught plagerizing? What’s the punishment for a teacher? :)</p>
<p>Gosh, they would never do LOR like that at my son’s schools. Hearing stuff like this makes me so glad we decided to send DS to a private school. There isn’t one teacher he has had who would have to ask him to list adjectives to describe himself or need to be told what he did in class.</p>
<p>We went to Houston to visit Rice Sunday and Monday. S loved the school. It is a beautiful campus. Students seems very happy. Definitely staying on the list. I can’t believe how many pages have been added in our short time away. Congrats to the children of holliesue, TessaR and college4three on their acceptances. Hope I didn’t miss anyone.</p>
<p>My ds GC doesn’t know him beyond his stats and from looking at his transcript and resume. Ds’ teachers do know him but again, they know him from a class situation, just one class, they don’t know about his ECs, his goals, etc. What I needed from this GC was rapid transit of transcript and secondary school report (as long as I paid the fee and filled out his paperwork of course!) and he delivered like a well-oiled machine. I’d rather provide him with choice words for “his” recommendation - because frankly all he knows is that ds fills out paperwork accurately, hasn’t been suspended or caused trouble…has a good attendance record. </p>
<p>What I am hearing from my neighbors and friends who have their kids in private hs is that although their GC has much fewer students, they are surprised by the lack of true college guidance they are receiving and the slow pace transcripts are being sent out. e.g. I have one friend’s dd who applied to 8 schools in Sept and the transcripts were not sent out until this last week after the headmaster was called - at least 2 of these schools are rolling. My GC didn’t provide much guidance either but then again, I didn’t need it or ask for it or expect it, I have naviance, I love to do research, and I have cc!! 
</p>
<p>Cked with ds about envelope opening = no, let me. and what if I find out you are accepted from cking online? don’t tell me, let me find out on my own. Good to know, but I still have a lovely kettle right next to where the mail gets placed.</p>
<p>Much different at my son’s school. They even have a special class with only 5 kids in each which starts in January of their junior yr and goes until Dec taught by the GC. They work on their essays, apps, brag sheets, college lists, etc., etc., Every application has to be in the GC office by Dec.1st. All essays and short answers are read by the GC and sent back with suggestions and DS has also shown his to his English teacher for comments. Before any app is sent out everything is proofed by the GC. This alone is worth the tuition, imo.</p>