<p>OM
So sorry to hear about your DD and the school …
hoping there are others on her list that she can fall in love with somewhere else.
Hugs
fogfog</p>
<p>Omom - big hugs to you and your daughter. She is lucky to have you as a mom.</p>
<p>Yes, my best wishes, too. We’ll all be seeing some rejections - for us, probably fully half of her list, and likely most of the ones she’s dreamt of for the past 2 years. It’s nice to have this group to get support from.</p>
<p>I hope she can rally and find someplace new. Someone gave me the same advice when it happened to me (a deferral, but I knew I wasn’t ever getting in) and I found the truly right place. Maybe some new doors will open up.</p>
<p>OM – so sorry about the rejection. Hugs to you and your daughter. It’s really hard for her right now, but I am sure she will have some wonderful choices come April, fall in love with another school and forget all about the school that should not be named. You raised a great daughter and no rejection would change that. Hang on there.</p>
<p>Drat, drat, drat, O-Mom! So very sorry, and feeling a lot of empathy for your d right now. Like most painful things, it will ease in time, but I wish I could take the sting away right now…for any and all of our kids who have worked so hard, reached so high, and now face a disappointment. We all know how that feels, and it’s particularly hard to watch in a teenager. I’m hoping she gets some news that puts the smile back on her face very soon!</p>
<p>Thinking of you Omom and, of course, of your daughter. We want so much for our kids and it’s so hard to see their disappointment. Still waiting here – have heard that ED school will mail Mon or Tues. Planning on a chat with DS tomorrow to see if we can keep everything in perspective as we receive the news – either good or bad - and as he prepares for exams on Thurs.
One of my best friends frequently talks about disappointments v. tragedies; while many of our kids will most definitely be disappointed, let us pray that there are no tragedies and let us help them learn the difference.</p>
<p>OM, I’m sorry to hear your news. I just got back from a baby shower where I met a mom who went through this process last year. Her daughter was rejected from her first choice, ED reach school and is now at a match school and LOVES it. More importantly, the mom shared some wisdom w/ me that sort of echoes what siemom wrote above. She said it was a teaching moment for her as a parent to help her daughter realize that life can be bumpy and at times disappointing, but that is what builds our resilience, much like working muscles builds our physical endurance (apt since the baby shower mom is our boot camp teacher at the gym). Now her daughter recognizes that in the end, it worked out for the best b/c she believes she’s happier where she landed than she may have been at her ED.</p>
<p>We got into this conversation b/c I know I’m feeling tremendous stress about next week – not b/c I think his ED/EA schools are the end all but b/c I’ll need to step up to the plate to teach him how to cope w/ disappointment. Because he’s lived through my cancer, he already knows the difference between personal disappointment on this scale and serious life-changing circumstances but like someone said above, these kids have worked very hard over years and this decision is wrapped up in validation and some self-worth (hence her questioning whether she’ll get into other schools like Swat).</p>
<p>But, I second what Rodney said: b/c this is such a crap shoot at this level of school, just because she didn’t get into Swat, doesn’t mean she won’t be successful at other peer institutions. How many times have I seen kids post over the last year and half that they were accepted by HY but not PS? Too many times to count. So, she absolutely has a shot at comparable schools but to be prudent, she should also have matches/safeties that she loves. I’m confident that our kids will all land on their feet regardless of what ground they stand on, whether it’s their first choice campus or not.</p>
<p>
That’s a good point. She has been through both in her young life, and while this disappointment stings (a lot) right now, it is not a tragedy.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of your kind words, everyone. I just wish there was some way to fix it for her, but I know that eventually, she’ll be OK. The rejection letter is torn in pieces on our kitchen table, as is the school t-shirt! Let’s just call it art therapy.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>So true. Thank you for the reminder</p>
<p>OM, sorry about your D not getting accepted. </p>
<p>Maybe some retail therapy is in order.</p>
<p>For some kids, if they don’t try for that big reach, they may always wonder “what if?”</p>
<p>The important thing is to encourage kids not to let acceptances/rejections be a referendum on their personal self-worth. Easier to say than do, but in the current admissions climate, there are a lot of top kids focused on a small number of available spots. </p>
<p>Love thy safeties!</p>
<p>Congratulations to everyone on so much good news! I have been away from computers a few days, and this thread moves fast! I can’t imagine the feeling of the ED, and then done - poof! I’d feel a little lost, I think - ha
But it is likely I will be right with you, Oregonianmom, with a rejection (or in my S’s case, more than one is likely), and I know it will be a heartbreaker to see him upset and feeling personally judged as “not enough” when there has been so much work put into the high school years. Your D is so lucky to have you, as someone said! Knowing they’ll be OK in the end doesn’t take the hurt out of today, but I still think it will feel good later to have tried for that prize.
Our S is hearing only from safeties early, and his favorite reachy schools all will be of the April first variety. He has three acceptances to safeties so far - so he knows he’s going to school and at least he has a choice 
however none of them float his boat or give him a feeling of validation like the others he hasn’t heard from yet. I’ll be here till the end!
Next week is CSS Profile time for me - I know some of you have accomplished this daunting task already - any big tips for this year?</p>
<p>OMom - Can she go do an overnight visit at her other schools? She may find they aren’t what she thought. I am sorry she didn’t get accepted. How heartbreaking. I think this whole college process is just brutal. Big hugs…</p>
<p>
Unfortunately, none are within driving distance. We have a week scheduled to do some overnight visits in April after acceptances come out, but we can’t possibly visit any before the application deadline.</p>
<p>O-mom, sorry for the decline but HECK it is their loss, and someday she will come to be ok with that. UNC-Chapel Hill is my personal “their loss” school and I still wished I had gone there, if only for the dream of what I thought it was like, probably not the reality!! </p>
<p>Good day here to report - ds and dd2 (8th grader) both successfully auditioned for the HS and JHS (respectively) north jersey area band today eventhough ds thought he completely and utterly bombed it, he told me the sight reading was improv and I thought “well, great, he does jazz, so, improv…that sounds like he had a handle on it…” Later he let me know that by saying “improv” he meant he took a look at the notes and played those notes around not necessarily in any prescribed rhythm. He also is sitting right next to his gf in the band so he couldn’t be happier.</p>
<p>omom - sorry to hear the news; so hard to see a child hurting </p>
<p>I got deferred from my ED years ago and was crushed. I was also embarrassed to have everyone know and fearful that it meant all my applications would result in rejections. In April I got in and then turned them down (for a variety of reasons having to do with me changing over the 4 months - not out of anger). Well, I loved where I went (a more selective school!) and cannot imagine any other undergraduate experience.</p>
<p>I hope your d already feels better and really does understand this selective school application process is just fickle. She will land somewhere wonderful and thrive. </p>
<p>Most likely, I will be repeating this to myself later this week!</p>
<p>OM, is there chocolate in the house? Just sayin…</p>
<p>OM, Sorry to hear about the deferral. cyber hugs to you. Better schools and results are just around the corner. The destroyed t-shirt image gave me a giggle.</p>
<p>Congrats to all for the newest round of acceptances -it’s hard to keep up!</p>
<p>mosb, LOL, this week as I wait for my son’s early decisions, I’ve been eating chocolate like it’s about to be rationed! I’m supposed to be on a diet b/c I’ve gained so much weight in the last year but now that won’t start until the end of this upcoming week, regardless of the news. All the apps will be out of our house and that alone will diminish my stress. For me, the waiting to hear bit is harder than coping w/ the news. Once I get the news and help him through it if it’s not what he wants to hear, I’ll be fine until the 2 weeks before April 1. Hopefully by then I’ll have lost some significant weight! :)</p>
<p>Chocolate - yes. I think that might help.</p>