<p>Welcome back to all of you who have been away for a while. Mamom - congrats on the merit money. To those whose kid’s still have apps to do - patience, one day at a time, they will get it done.</p>
<p>Calgon - I’m sure my fellow CC friends will share their great advice with you. IMO, it is virtually impossible to get a ninth grader to focus on college so I would not even try. The admissions process will seem long enuf to him when he does start so you don’t want to burn him out early. The process can be ‘relatively’ stress-free if started early and well informed. Those are your jobs until the summer before junior year. Then you can bring him into the loop. Learn all you can about the process by then. Your end goal is to find a range of schools that are a good fit for your child academically and socially and a good fit for you financially. There are many great schools for each child.</p>
<p>A few key items to start early espec if you have an A student - have your child take the SAT II test the same year he takes the AP class in the subject; keep a list of all awards and ECS and jobs - you will need them for applications; focus on getting a good score on the PSAT - scholarships are great for NMF.</p>
<p>Enjoy the process. I found it a wonderful experience. I learned a lot about my son. I will always treasure this journey with him and my new CC friends.</p>
<p>When my D1 was a freshman in high school, the principal at her college-prep private Catholic school spoke to parents at back-to-school night and asked us parents to please not talk about college for a year. She said they need a year to adapt to high school life, and to them college is a million miles away, and please let them be high school students. I took that to heart and honored that request. I’m sorry that the same principal no longer says that to freshman parents, and they seem to now start talking about college and career to the poor little freshman… but when our D2 started at that school, we still took care to avoid talk of college for a year. By sophomore year, they start getting hammered about it.</p>
<p>Calgon, welcome! You’ve been given some great advice. To the advice to keep track of ECs, awards, etc. I would add start a file now. Put all those award certificates, program brochures, etc. in it as well as a note as to when the activity started and ended and how many hours were involved. This can be a place to put newspaper clippings as well. We were shocked with my oldest when some applications asked for exact starting and ending dates as well as hours. It took some digging to recreate all that. Fortunately my youngest was a freshman at the time, so I started a file. It has made life much easier when applying for summer programs, colleges and scholarships. </p>
<p>Also, my youngest started volunteering the summer after freshman year. From my perspective, it was a good parenting move. He got involved with a local program that had him out doing lots of physical work. He had to answer to a crew boss, learn new skills, and work and live with kids he hadn’t known before. It was a tremendous growth experience for him. By the end of the summer he had his first Presidential Volunteer Award. That put him into great position for his next two summers. After his sophomore year, he repeated the same volunteer program as well as attending an academic program that paid him to attend. After his junior year he got into one of those nationally known summer programs. He’s off to a great start with college acceptances.</p>
<p>I think the freshman year volunteering gave him a head start. That snowballed to sophomore summer, which snowballed to… Most importantly, it helped him become a mature young man who cares for others. He’s a smart, curious, energetic guy who easily could have gone down different paths.</p>
<p>Hope everyone is enjoying whats left of the Christmas break.</p>
<p>Calgon, love your name–I remember those ads!! Be sure to chek into the thread for those of use with freshman. Also–there are several parents here with Srs who also have freshman. Welcome</p>
<p>calgon - I agree - it is not time to worry about college at all. Our college counselor introduces himself to the school at the start of the year and then says “To you freshman and sophomore students and parents - Hi - see you in two years.”
The one thing you could do is to start tracking his ECs. Make a file. List the clubs/activities and notable things that you don’t think you will forget, but just might.</p>
<p>Calgon- The only thing I would add to what the others have already said is to start visiting colleges when you are on vacation or traveling. Get a feel over the next two years what kind of school your S likes: small LAC, big rah, rah school, urban, in the sticks, etc. Just walk the campus, take in a game or some other event going on when you are in the area. Oh, and I have a kid with a 3.26 GPA who has gotten into 4 schools with merit so far. Definitely capable of more but I can’t beat it into him (nor would I want to). Every kid can get into a school somewhere. If your S is interested in one particular school pull up the common data set for that school and see what the stats are for the kids who go there, show them to your son.</p>
<p>It is nice having news of the different ages here - families with kids who are younger and older, along with the seniors. And we always welcome visitors, which I forgot to mention. There are so many helpful threads and forums on CC, whether or not they directly “apply” (ha ha, a little college pun) to your situation.</p>
<p>Also I’ll mention that there are many, many kids, and many kids/families on CC, where college has not been their primary focus since an early age. High school is a long, winding, exciting, and variable journey, and I do believe most kids go through a lot of very intense changes. In fact, if they don’t, I kind of worry about them.</p>
<p>D had a singing rehearsal today and now is out shopping with a friend. I’m glad she’s got this day off before the grind starts again. A lot of what she is doing is fun, and pretty much all is her own choice. She’ll also be very happy when BF gets home from his family vacation!</p>
<p>^ Hi Emmy
We are a family like you mentioend that didn’t really think about college apps until mid highschool and told our student to do what kiddo enjoyed and stayed focused on what kiddo enjoyed–and let the pieces come together…
There are things I wish I had know fresh/soph yr–which we learned here on CC
and at the same time am glad I hadn’t been “grooming” my child for college since birth haha! and rather just raising a great kid ;)</p>
<p>Yes, well, my D2 was “thinking” about college all along, partly because she had an older sister who’d gone through it but also because she’s that type - likes to dream about the future. I do like the advice of visiting colleges. D2 never went on visits with her older sister, but she went to several camps at colleges for many years and thought about what she did and didn’t like. Also, because she was interested in performing arts she knew she needed to start thinking early about school options. So it was nice that in the spring of 10th grade she was interested in starting tours. But we only did that because she enjoyed it.</p>
<p>I had an interesting conversation this week with a parent of kids about 10 years younger than mine - the mom said, “It’s hard to know when they should keep doing activities they don’t always enjoy, especially if they’re really good at them.” I kept thinking about this - I don’t think I ever said to my kids “Don’t quit XYZ - you’re too good at it.” Every decision we made about any activity was based on whether they liked doing it or not. Yes, at some things they did excel. And I guess there are kids where the excelling IS what they enjoy, or at least it tips the balance. We’re just not wired that way. D2 especially needs meaning - she’s either in love or she isn’t.</p>
<p>I remember when I was in HS there was something I deeply loved doing. I was pretty good at it, but then one year another girl came out of nowhere and did it so much better. I cried to my teacher about how unfair that was - not that there was any prize or award at stake, since it wasn’t that kind of activity - but just that it seemed to come so easily for her on her first try.</p>
<p>My teacher said, “But maybe she doesn’t even care about it. Maybe she’ll never do that activity again. You can make a whole life out of it, and it doesn’t matter if that girl or anyone else does it or not. Just do it for yourself.”</p>
<p>I guess this idea doesn’t work if you want to be an Olympic gold medalist, but in pretty much any other activity, there’s room for everyone, without any question of being “the best” at it, or of “deserving” to do it. I think it’s kind of a shame that these college applicants have to spent 2-3 years thinking there is some kind of absolute reckoning on whether they are “good” enough. Usually once they get to college they find out that everything is relative anyway, and that those oh-so-important lines in the sand have evaporated - or maybe never existed.</p>
<p>Emmybet, I agree. My refrain over the years, particularly about music and musical theatre, with all the hard work and sacrifices they entail, has been: when it stops being fun for you, we stop doing it. Simple as that. Life is too short for anyone, especially a child, to be doing an EC they don’t enjoy. And there are Sooo many other interesting things to try.</p>
<p>I’ve said before, if my D had said she wanted to give up music, I admit I would have had to swallow hard once or twice, but I definitely would have let and encouraged her to do just that if it was no longer rewarding for her.</p>
<p>S quit football this year after playing since he was 7yo. I loved watching him play and was not happy with the decision. I did wonder how it would look on his apps to quit his sr year of HS, but other than a “are you sure” type conversation we let the subject drop. It was absolutely the best decision for him. He is so much more relaxed, he has friends over the house all the time now, because he has free time. He has grown socially like never before. When he was playing football, he got home around 7, ate dinner, and did homework. He had no free time to socialize. He is still playing rec bball, but it is only one day a week.</p>
<p>If I could figure out the quote feature here I would quote fogfog because I would say the exact same thing. </p>
<p>I could never have groomed my kids for anything because they wouldn’t let me anyway! :)</p>
<p>I do wish we had known things freshman year though-and to the student or any parent wondering I would really strongly encourage everyone to become their own GC.</p>
<p>The biggest problems S has has in his college search have been lack of AP classes and those Subject tests. I did not know you could self-study for AP classes-his school offers a different college-level class but many colleges he applied to do not recognize them. I also did not know about the Subject tests-let alone that he could have been taking them as early as freshman year. That caused him problems because he was cramming for them first semester Senior year-which has been by far his hardest semester in HS-and because he couldn’t really make a good selection-his choices were limited by the timing and not knowing about them earlier.</p>
<p>The other thing I would have had him do is keep a better record of his EC’s and especially the time spent. That was hard to quantify for the applications.</p>
<p>I guess a student should prepare for this as if they wanted to apply to the “best” colleges in the country. For most of his schools he was well prepared anyway but the few that require Subject tests are at another level entirely. </p>
<p>My D starts HS next year and other than knowing the importance of these couple of things and making sure she doubles up science a year earlier than my S there really is not much else she will do differently. I can only hope she enjoys her HS experience and matures there as much as my S has-it’s very important to enjoy the journey!</p>
<p>After going through the college process with my two older kids, I think that my youngest had an easier college search because I knew how to search, what questions to ask him to help him figure out what he wanted and knew to start actually visiting colleges early enough (but not tooo early) so that he didn’t feel that every weekend was taken up with college visits. </p>
<p>I think the biggest lesson for parents is the mantra that I’ve heard over and over on this forum (hmmm, but not recently) and that’s to “love the kid on the couch”. Your kid is not my kid and I often have to remind myself that THIS kid, is not his brother or his sister. His stats, his goals and his quirks are all his.</p>
<p>Sorry Ohiomom! Just a little AFC North rivalry.</p>
<p>I also learned to “love the kid on the couch.” My younger daughter prefers free time to organized activities. She does not have the long list of ECs that most high school kids have, but did focus on a few things that interested her. She did a good college search and applied to match schools with a lot of success. I’ve learned to appreciate how independent and motivated she is. I feel that she has the skills that will help her succeed in college.</p>
<p>Calgon- the only thing I talk about with my youngest is the importance of keeping a good GPA. They are so young and sometimes they don’t realize until it is too late that the extra 1/2 hour of studying can mean the difference between having lots of choices versus some choices.</p>
<p>mamom - My D also decided not to pursue her winter sport this year. We were shocked since she has excelled in it and had a chance to do very well this year at the state level. But it is a 4 hour per day/7 day per week commitment. She is so much more relaxed, happy and social now because she now has time to think and breath. She picked up a part time job and seems to be loving life right now. Now that she haas a couple of acceptances under her belt and she has some extra time, she is singing and lauging all the time now! Sometimes we forget how much pressure these kids are under to perform and succeed.</p>
<p>I have a slightly different opinion about encouraging kids to keep up with activities. One of my kids has a talent which she doesn’t always love pursuing in a structured environment. While I don’t insist that she do her activity in an organized way, I’ve told her that it would be a shame to waste her talent. This may or may not help her in college admissions down the road, but that’s not the point. She really has a talent and it would be a shame to let it go.</p>
<p>So much good news here and it sounds like everyone enjoyed their breaks, even while deadlines loomed and supplements were hammered out. Here the 1/1 stuff was all submitted a whole day early (insert eyeroll). A couple more due this week and then a few more after that but they don’t require additional essays so I think she may hit the submit on all of them and be done. A girl can dream can’t she?</p>
<p>I have a question-I took a look at some of the apps she uploaded and realized she didn’t check off the seeking merit aid and seeking financial aid boxes on a couple of them. I am thinking this means an e-mail to the admissions officer letting them know she does want to be considered for merit aid and will be applying for financial aid. Anyone have any experience with this particular glitch?</p>
<p>Its a trip to compare this whole online thing to how I applied to colleges, painstakingly typing on the form, white-out nearby. Its still stressful, prone to mistakes and nitpicky no matter what format!</p>
<p>Ugh - you can either skip this or listen to my rant, up to you. Gingerbread sits unfinished, taxes unfinished (because blankety blank turbo tax doesn’t have updated docs from IRS until 1/6 or 1/12 depending on the form), profile remains a mystery because although dh gave me the secret codes to see the brokerage/retirement accts (like prying candy out of a baby’s hands), I don’t have data on his business acct, or ds’ bank acct balance (which I believe is $0 given the amount of “hanging out at Starbucks” he’s been doing). Grrrrr.</p>
<p>Then ds’ gf (his first so you know what that is like for my sweet baboo) decided they needed to take a break (after 1 mo. - WOW) right before Christmas and oh, yeah and take her ex-bf (?) and his parents (???) up on the offer to go on Christmas vacation with them (???) and oh, hasn’t yet returned from this trip. His carefully wrapped Christmas present lies on his desk, unpresented and forlorn. Really??? And he is still texting away to her all during break. I actually made him not speak of her to me during the break (“she who should not be named”) which he thankfully obliged. But you know when someone breaks your kid’s heart or treats them badly? And how you want to cause them pain? I’m there.</p>
<p>After all the questioning from dh, decided to revisit the COAs of the list. OMG, what was I thinking? Given my new found knowledge of the current fin situation, unless I get employed again or boy strikes some great aid and quick, we are screwed. State flagship is remarkably not much of a big savings either, especially if you project how tuition has been going up really unchecked. Like it might be good for next year, but in 2 yrs - it might equal neighboring state’s OOS tuition. So if any of you know work for an ex-marketing professional who bakes gingerbread and ice skates, let me know.</p>