<p>Cool T-shirts! Our school does not have this tradition for APs (although S1 & 2 have their share for all theater productions).</p>
<p>I’ve been thinking and wondering lately about an issue that may present itself in the next few weeks–what would be the best outcome regarding schools where we were needing large merit? </p>
<p>By now, a few of those have passed us by, so I ask the philosophical question: What would be better–for our kids to get the acceptance to a dreamy/reachy school they cannot afford to attend (but getting the satisfaction and reward of being deemed admissable), or to get flat rejected (ouch!!) and that school sinks like a stone after a few days of misery?</p>
<p>madbean, I am wondering the same thing as S has one super-super reach out there with an approaching announce date. I am thinking flat out rejected is better. Otherwise, there will be much handwringing as my older 2 attended.</p>
<p>I am sitting here watching the clock as freshman honors online room selection is in ten mins. Must log on to get the coveted private rooms in the suites. Nicest dorms I have ever seen with the parking garage under.</p>
<p>I asked our son that question. And although we will not now until Monday night if his reaction will be this way, he said: “If I get in but we can’t afford it, I will be okay because it won’t be because of anything I could contorl. If I don’t get in, I will alway wonder what I more I could have done to be admitted.”</p>
<p>fogfog, I think some parents are completely oblivious. We had dinner last year with at the home of a family whose daughter went to school with mine. The parents described the rebellious younger son and the angelic, perfect older sister. ShawD said, “she’s no goody-goody.”</p>
<p>Some parents may decide it is OK or, while not OK, to fight other battles.</p>
<p>OWM - You have several options re: letters. There are web sites that have templates you can use for letters, instructions how to use Word, nice letters you can print and paste, swap with a parent who doesn’t need Rs.</p>
<p>I’ll look online to see what clip art or paper I can find for math or science. Try some education sites for beakers, equations, calculator, computer, iPad.</p>
<p>Madbean - I think my ds will enjoy being able to say “no, thanks” to the super reachy, it will give him pleasure to tell his friends he could’ve gone there but didn’t want to. I remind him, noone (from his HS) will know or care or remember where you were planning to go to school or where you ended up going. But I still remember where I was rejected (UNC-Chapel Hill and it was my favorite!!!) and where I got in. BUT, I have already laid the seeds of why ds’ super reach (which we now know we cannot in our imagination afford) is not the right choice for him - beyond cost, I really don’t think it is a good fit. That said, I will shout from the roof if he gets in (my neighbors are elitists, they’d enjoy that), or wimper for a few minutes if he doesn’t.</p>
<p>Whoever told me, ds shouldn’t want Michigan because of all that snow, was a wonderful person - it gave my ds something to attribute his decision to, besides $. </p>
<p>Planning trips to open houses - Fl for 2 days, Pitts for 2 and good old Rutgers for a couple different things. Want to make sure I get these things planned. Time is a’slippin away.</p>
<p>madbean, we had that discussion before D applied to a couple of her schools. She decided she would rather try and get in and then have to say no than not try at all. We’ll see how reality matches that if she is lucky enough to get in.</p>
<p>Madbean - I am sorry to say that this exact thing happened to my DD. Before she even applied, I told her we could not afford it without major aid and the chances of us getting it were slim. It has been her dream school since she was a child (her dad’s alma mater and they drive the 4 hours to attend functions there every year). She “just wanted to see if I can get in” (and I honestly doubted she would). So OF COURSE she was accepted with no aid.</p>
<p>We went thru several sad days and then I thought she was over it… until she mentioned the other day that this was the subject of her latest paper in AP Comp… “how she wanted to go to School X but couldn’t”…sigh.</p>
<p>Question for the wise group: S just returned from a state-wide competition focusing on business and marketing - it is an EC in his college apps and mentioned in his essays. He took first place in two events and now qualifies for an international competition next month. This isn’t an “every-day word” kind of EC, though.
Should he e-mail colleges he doesn’t yet have admission decision from with this update?
Or would that seem weird?
Thanks for opinions / experiences!</p>
<p>^ While decisons come out soon,
I should think qualifying for international competition merits an email update to the University admission reps for your region…</p>
<p>I would identfy the admissions rep for your area for each school and send him or her an email as this is a significant accomplishment. If the email is strictly informational it certainly can’t hurt.</p>
<p>Madbean - I asked S this question tonight before I saw your post. His super reach, he said he’d stay on WL (we happen to know someone who got off the list last year and is now attending). He has 2 other schools that are still reaches due to selectivity/# of apps but may be good possibilities. He said if he got into one and WL at the other, he’d tell the WL school to take him off, he’d be done. He’d be happy with either one. I hope that makes sense…We are trying to run all the scenarios so we have no surprises. Of course, we have nothing else to do but talk, talk, talk, wait, wait, wait.</p>
<p>Puma - I agree that you should have him email his regional rep. Keeps his name fresh in their minds Congrats to him.</p>
<p>Puma12 - Absolutely, without a doubt, YES. You and your son must be very proud of this fabulous accomplishment. At a time when senioritis hits so many kids, your son is going the extra mile. Huge congrats!!</p>
<p>Puma - congrats and YES! Perhaps the update will arrive just as the file makes its way to the committee review!<br>
I know D would rather know she got in even if she could not go. It would give her affirmation and confidence. Still hard, but an achievement to be accepted.</p>
<p>Thank you guys. S is trying to figure out how to politely say “oh, btw, I have something cool to tell you” - he will work on it tomorrow. It is especially sweet, as he is the one with mono and went up to the competition late, napped about half the time, and was VERY happy about doing so well.</p>
<p>Tonight I am glued to the TV watching and crying at the devastation in Japan - this is where we used to live for a few years. It will be a long night in so many places around the world. If you are a praying person. Please pray. The Great Hanshin earthquake, in 1994 killed over 6000 people in Japan. This one is just as big.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the thoughtful replies, everyone. It’s a topic I just can’t get my head around–even after all this time and thought and many conversations. Of course I told S2 what the situation would be before he applied if he didn’t get the longshot awards–but not only does he love one particular school and a fabulous crazy-selective major, I must admit–so do I. </p>
<p>I was also watching tv tonight and actually saw the tsunami hit. The live coverage was horrible and unbelievable. I join in the prayers, puma. If ever anything should give one proper perspective…</p>
<p>madbean - How many times have I read on cc about kids who could not go to their dream school because of money and ended up loving where they did end up. I have been taking a closer look at S’s schools. “My” first choice for him is the school throwing money at him, and I am taking a very close look at the classes offered for his major, the internships offered, where kids end up after graduation, etc to ensure I will not be pushing him to an inferior program. And S is suppose to be doing the same. If he can make the numbers work or show us how one school provides a superior product over the other than we will see what we can do. He knows we all need to nake compromises. </p>
<p>I have a friend in HI who just sent an email that her and her family are evacuating their house. Not sure where they are headed.</p>
<p>I think rather than parents being oblivious to their kids drinking, having sex and doing drugs, that some parents just think it is normal behavior. IMO, some bad behavior is normal and fully expect my kid to try to experiment but we will not condone it. Actually, I would be very surprised if my son does not drink on occasion. We have not “caught” him doing it, but I suspect it is happening.</p>
<p>I appreciate the recent posts regarding how to advise your child in the event he or she is arrested for, or the victim of, a crime on campus. I don’t want to minimize that advice at all, but will add one more piece: there’s a great deal a person can do to keep himself or herself OUT of situations that may go south.</p>
<p>If a situation doesn’t look right, feel right, smell right, whatever…leave. There’s a wonderful book called “The Gift of Fear” that emphasizes how our instincts almost always know when we’re in some kind of danger, risk, or threat. But for a variety of reasons we often override those instincts. We need to teach kids to honor and trust their instincts.</p>
<p>Now if they’re part of the problem, that’s another matter…</p>
<p>Puma, congrats to your son! This one is easy to word; he just emails his admissions counselor at each school and says: Hi, Ms. So-and-so, I just want to let you know that I recently competed in XYZ, and my team placed X (won?), which means we’re moving on to compete in the internationals. Very excited, and wanted to share the news!
Son-of-Puma</p>
Congrats to him.</p>