<p>I know some kids just can’t do overnights at their schools for $ or logistical reasons. But when it’s possible, here’s a great example of why it’s so helpful to do an overnight visit, stay in dorms, do evening activities, classes with students, etc.</p>
<p>Sb is doing 3rd visits (I know!) to her pared down list of 3 schools remaining. But the first 2 visits were auditions, scholarship interviews…quite different from the visits she’s doing now.</p>
<p>Here’s a txt she sent me last night: “Really feeling “culture clash” here. Ppl friendly, talented, but driving me a little nuts. Need to see more music stuff tmrw to see if program worth discomfort.” </p>
<p>Now in my book that’s valuable info. She may feel very differently today (that text came after just a few hours last night), but it tells me she’s getting a sense of “fit” at this school, and if it’s going to be a tradeoff for something she values there (the music program), I want her to know that going in, and have it be a known entity in the decision making. I probably should post this over in the 2012s…you guys already know this. :)</p>
<p>puma: Was it state DECA and he qualified for the national/international competition? Definitely have him send an e-mail as others have suggested. And congratulations. If it’s DECA, he will have a great time. Our older son and his classmate placed 12th nationally in e-commerce. He is using all those skills now as a freelancer in addition to his full-time job.</p>
<p>The earthquake has put a lot of things in perspective this morning. We are not in control and millions of people have so much more real stress in their lives than we do. Even as we wait out the decision process or lament the struggles of our favorite basketball team we are safe and blessed beyond all measure.</p>
<p>My prayers go out to those in Japan, HI and elsewhere affected by the earthquake and tsunami.<br>
As to whether D would rather get in to her reachy, reach school and not go- the answer is a resounding yes. Of course she may never know if she got in- she never got an email about establishing an online password, and decisions will be made available tomorrow pm online. I asked if she wanted to contact the school to get a replacement id/password and she said she’d just wait for the letter. There is nonchalance and then there is practically comatose. Ah well, she is progressing on her online h.s. classes so I guess that is where her focus is right now.</p>
yup. One of S’s favorites posts decisions online Sunday @3:00pm. He doesn’t even know that. I am not sure if it is his way of dealing with the stress by pretending to not care or what.</p>
<p>Emmybet - Are your Japanese exchange students able to contact home? I hope they were able to make sure their families are safe, the not-knowing and being so far away from home at such a young age…and you being surrogate Mom!! Hugs to all of you today.</p>
<p>When my D added reaches to her list last fall, she definitely said she wanted to know IF she could get in, even if they end up being not the best choice for her for one reason or other. I’m concerned now, in case they are all rejections (SO possible), but I know she’ll be OK. </p>
<p>In the meantime, she said opening night went well, and thank goodness her test for today was postponed!</p>
<p>I’m reeling from the news in Japan right now. I have two sleeping Japanese girls in our basement rec room, and I don’t know if I’m going to be the one who tells them, or if their families have sent messages. I hope it isn’t too stressful for the girl who is here on a trip to be away at this particular moment. And I hope our exchange student doesn’t suddenly get hit with all of the homesickness she hasn’t had since she got here.</p>
<p>We had a tornado here going on 6 years ago, which was massively destructive. Multiplying that by 1000 or more is almost impossible to imagine.</p>
<p>Puma, I’d like to add my congratulations to your son! Whatever he did, we’re all happy for him! I, for one, am quite curious about the details but can understand why you don’t post that personal information here.</p>
<p>I’m driving myself a little crazy trying to plan re-visits and first visits to a handful of colleges. The cost vs. fit (both social and program-wise) are complicated decisions. Adding in potential earnings via co-op also makes a big difference for cost. So far, we are going to upstate NY next week and Boston in April, but there are two other NY colleges that are also in the picture. Guess it’s good that he ruled out the one in FL.</p>
<p>mamom- My D is the same way. Doesn’t want to know. And I’d say its definitely her way of trying to deal with the stress. I have come to think she made the right decision. She is blissfully unaware that one of her favorites already notified people its accepting. So I have been silently mourning. Hopefully by the time the rejections go out she will have some other acceptances in hand to balance it out.</p>
<p>I was one who didn’t want to know the gender of my children ahead of time, wanted the whole surprise. I think I should have taken that approach to college decisions as well. No foreknowledge, just a surprise in the mailbox. Knowing ahead of time when things are happening means I am in a constant state of heightened anxiety. Of course, if I was a naturally Zen person this wouldn’t be an issue…</p>
<p>The next source of craziness will be figuring out visits. There are a couple schools she hasn’t seen yet at all! And some she would like to see again but there is a finite amount of time and money to accomplish this. Especially because she has a play in the middle of April, the weekend when many of the schools have their accepted students weekends. Oh well.</p>
<p>Puma- Congrats to your son!</p>
<p>Emmy- All thoughts to your Japanese visitors and their loved ones.</p>
<p>D won’t be revisiting. If she does anything, it will be to visit the one school she added late in the game but hasn’t toured (although she knew enough to make an informed choice). </p>
<p>I’m hoping some of the student FB groups will be helpful to her in her choice. She feels like she really understands the curriculum comparisons, and other aspects, but it’s the people she wonders about. mosb is right that the decision sometimes does come down to that - you do have to live and work with these folks for 4 years. But it’s also very hard to gauge. Maybe some of the new technologies will give a broader spectrum of impression than seeing one or two classes (which may, or may not, be effective representatives), or having one overnight (which sometimes causes the host kids to distort how they really are and live). We’ll just see.</p>
<p>AvonDad - thank you so much for doing this! But I hope you don’t wake up in the middle of the night fearing you’ll forget! Please know someone would do it for you, and we’d all be forgiving. You’re entitled to have a life, too …</p>
<p>Although I imagine this is helping you, too!</p>
<p>I’ve encouraged my son to join the FB groups of the colleges that are on the short list but he’s worried that he could be slanted one way or another by a couple of weird posters that may not really reflect the school. I don’t totally agree but certainly can’t insist.</p>
<p>Emmybet - Hope they both have good news from their families when they wake. Seems like the tsunami created the more devastating affects, saw reporters in Tokyo in high rises without much bldg damage seen, but power outages, and shut down of the trains to get out of town. Where are they from? It’s a blessing that Japanese bldg codes focus on controlling effects of earthquakes (unlike say china or haiti)</p>
<p>I’m also trying to plan the visits - focussing on the 3 that are generally in the running $-wise. The others are fading into the background unless something miraculous arrives in a mailbox. One dh will handle since I had seen it from the summer road trip (without dh) and one I will handle which unfortunately involves flying and airfares went up $100 overnight. I think I will wait to see if they drop again next wk.</p>
<p>EmmyBet-I’m sending good thoughts your way. I hope your exchange students receive word from their families. I’m glad they are with you as they process this information today. You will know the right thing to say I’m sure.</p>
<p>We are also weighing the pros and cons of visits to Ds final choices - a couple require airfare and overnight visits and cost/time are considerations. </p>
<p>At this point, I agree with MOSB. I believe the decision is really about the people. Can these be her “peeps” for 5 years (D is in a five year program).Will she outgrow the environment after 2-3 years? Rural vs urban…coop or traditional…</p>
<p>I am not sure joining FB is a good thing right now - from Ds experience, once you join, people innundate you looking for roomates. This could be overwhelming for some one that hasn’t really decided that they are “in”…</p>
<p>Ok so I am printing five sets of revised 11 page tax returns to mail. Talked to the one IDOC school and they said mail it to the school directly. Will correct FAFSA. </p>
<p>Probably correct PROFILE or can it stand with estimates–opinions?</p>
<p>Oh, the tangled web…</p>
<p>D has an earache with bleeding ear feature-- will miss some school today for doctors visit. After a call from the school nurse yesterday, our 11year old son is getting xrays as I type for Hopefully a severely sprained --not broken ankle. I should just quit my job! </p>
<p>Thanks for the heads up, momofboston. I guess the “few annoying people” who can skew your opinion can happen anywhere. Darn.</p>
<p>D has 2 safeties she didn’t visit, and while she won’t say so yet, I can’t imagine she’ll seriously consider them at this point, since a school much higher on her list is a solid, affordable acceptance, and gives her everything she needs. </p>
<p>Some of the higher-selectivity schools yet to come would be good fits and probably give her a better experience - and if she gets into any I guess she’ll just have to figure out how to decide.</p>
<p>The one school she hasn’t seen is near my family, and my mom has already volunteered to coordinate a visit, so it’s just one airfare, if anything. I’d almost let her decide on this school unseen - she knows the area so well, and the campus/style of the school is so much like others she absolutely loves, plus she could communicate with people in other ways. I know this isn’t the preferred method, but in this case I could see making an exception. </p>
<p>Japanese D is up - I had to tell her about the earthquake, and of course she is very upset. She is going to try to reach her family, but right now it is the middle of the night. We’ll just keep faith that everyone is OK.</p>
<p>vanmo - I agree! That is too much in one day for any mom!</p>
<p>There is a countdown bonus this weekend as the clocks will be set ahead one hour on Saturday night/Sunday morning for the start of daylight savings time. That’s one hour less we have to wait.</p>
<p>To bad we can’t fast forward the calendar by a couple of weeks and call is college admissions acceptance notification time. :)</p>
<p>EmmyBet - Thanks for the offer to fill in on the countdown. I actually have made this item part of my daily routine although the daily posting time may vary due to work or family committments. I originally became involved with countdowns a few years ago on a different “CC” board (Cruise Critic - roll call forums) where we established weekly countdowns. We used weekly instead of daily as the time from booking a cruise to the departure date was often months and months. Since our time horizon is much shorter on this forum, I opted to go with the daily updates.</p>
<p>I hope the daylight savings time jump this weekend makes all of our new snow go away faster! We had 6 to 8 inches last night and its still coming down at a rate of an inch or two per hour. The kids are in school which was somewhat of a surprise but they are out of calamity days so I doubt there was much choice. I hope everyone’s weekend is sunnier and warmer than here on the north coast of Ohio. THINK SPRING!!!</p>
<p>MOSB - Thank you for revisiting the issue of what to do in a situation that might involve the police. It reminded me of something I wanted to add to Aniger’s comment of a couple of days ago, that one should say nothing to the police except “I want a lawyer.” It is now necessary to also say something to the effect of “I exercise my right to remain silent.” Prior to last year, no one would have ever thought that was necessary. However, the Supreme Court, in Berghuis v. Thompkins, held that simply remaining silent is not an excercise of the right to remain silent, which means that the police can legally continue to interrogate someone indefinitely. In Berghuis, after hours of interrogation, the suspect finally said something, which was construed as a confession and led to his conviction. Be sure your children are aware of this. This country, and its legal systems, are not the ones we grew up with.</p>
Ah well, she is progressing on her online h.s. classes so I guess that is where her focus is right now.</p>