<p>I was ready to jump on my husband when I heard him on the phone asking his mom if she was coming down for graduation. We will have a full house with older d/bf & s1 coming in for the night. When the kids only get together once or maybe twice a year, I like it to be just us. She is s2’s grandmother, but not the other two. Plus we are going up for a family wedding the weekend prior, so I think that should be enough family time.</p>
<p>Had a discussion with one of the senior mom’s about graduation gifts for the guy friends. She was hoping we would all opt-out since both of us aren’t working. That is fine with me, I didn’t have any great ideas anyway apart for gift cards. There are so many expenses at the end of the year- prom, party bus, senior trip, yearbook ads, etc, etc & today it was “the senior shirt”.</p>
<p>I feel so much better now that others are expressing mixed feelings about visits over graduation. I agree the event should be about the kid. My kid will be tired, emotional, and will want to spend time with friends. So hard to balance those facts with the desire to prioritize family, respect elders, and not cause any family drama.<br>
I have no worries that this thread will stay alive; we have a lot in common. And, where else could I admit that my in-laws need to be the center of attention without feeling too terribly ashamed? </p>
<p>We get unlimited seating, but it’s first come first seated in a 40,000 seat arena!</p>
<p>After reading all the posts about aging parents, I picked up the phone and called mine. They are 80 and 81 and in thankfully very good mental and physical health. Still play golf twice a week in a golf league, and bridge once a week. They are both getting a little more forgetful (then again, so am I) but dad still amazes me with his storehouse of history knowledge and ability to weave it into current events, and mom still hosts great dinner parties (although not on the scale she used to). My kids are so blessed to have them as part of their lives (they live about 15 minutes away and are very involved in kids’ activities). And I am incredibly fortunate as well.</p>
<p>We only get three tickets for graduation; it’s in the HS performing arts center so seating is limited. So no grandparents at the ceremony; my nephew is also graduating so we will have a joint family party later in the month. I think we’ll have dinner out with my parents after graduation before the school’s grad night lock-in which starts late that night.</p>
<p>Speaking about grandparents, graduation is already becoming about my mother. Graduation is from 5:00-7:00, and then families go out to dinner prior to the graduates returning to the high school for lock-in. There are already complaints that eating after 7:00 is too late and that she doesn’t like where D chose to go.</p>
<p>I keep telling her that this is D’s day and we are going to do what she wants…:rolleyes:</p>
<p>I should edit my above post (which I’m afraid may have come across the wrong way) to add that I am in the clear minority among my friends both in regard to parents’ health and our good relationship. I definitely understand where a lot of you are coming from with wanting our graduates, and not their grandparents, to be the focus of attention on graduation day.</p>
<p>We get 15 for outside in our HS football stadium, if it rains and we have to go to the backup, we only get 4 which will be just enough for immediate family.</p>
<p>We don’t have a limit on graduation tickets, or actually need tickets of any kind. I kind of wish we did because it would make the entire process much easier. Bluedad and I have had heated discussions over what Bluejr should be expected to ‘show up for’. I feel strongly he should be allowed to go out with his friends after graduation (he will have spent the day with family). It’s his day! The entire timing stinks but no one can help that. </p>
<p>To make the entire process all the more fun we have three sets of grandparents none of which get along. My parents still don’t like each other 20+ years after a bitter, ugly divorce, and my in laws have been downright ugly to my dad. They are disrespectful to me and have been for 20+ years which irritates the crud out of my mom. We all smile and nod for the most part for the sake of the kids, but there is always an undercurrent of…well not very nice feelings. My mother has decided to bring her twin sister for moral support who is very outspoken so who knows what kind of fun we have in store! </p>
<p>As long as I’m ranting…If I hear my inlaws tell Bluejr not to mention his school again (because it will hurt his cousins feelings) I will scream! The cousin has already graduated college, she’s thrilled for his choice, and is so over the fact that she was waitlisted at his #2 choice SIX years ago! Personally I think it’s kind of insulting to my niece. She didn’t even apply to the school he’s going to. Aren’t families fun?!</p>
Hmm, havent tried Frontier, will have to look them up. Thanks!</p>
<p>Uggs- 11yo D would love a pair. I have resisted up til now, but did tell her I would get her some to wear next winter. 6th grade is just so tough, that if the Uggs help her feel like she fits in better I am sure I can swing it. Oh, and she has been lusting after a Northface jacket. There goes my clothes budget. </p>
<p>Regarding Grandparents We have invited neither (my Father and Hs Mother). There are 330+ kids in the class and I know my Dad would never last. He was itchy at Ss Eagle Scout ceremony which was much shorter. Hs Mother would graciously sit through whatever we invite her to, but she has over 30 grandkids, ours is not that special (except to us) and I am sure she has seen enough graduations to last a lifetime. The school gives us 8 tickets for graduation, but I think it will only be H, D and I. </p>
<p>S got a call back to come in to interview for a landscaping job yesterday. I was kinda of surprised that they went to the effort to interview kids applying for summer jobs raking lawns and picking up trash. But, it will be good experience for him.</p>
<p>Fun? Fun? “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” (Love The Princess Bride- quotes for almost every occasion. “My name is Inigo Montoya…”)</p>
<p>^ lol! Princess Bride is one of our favorite movies! Thanks for the belly-laugh kiderny!! :)</p>
<p>BTW, Bluedad likes to roll-eyes at me when I ask him to do something and say ‘As you wish…’ on a fairly regular basis. It always gets big laughs. The term RoUS’s is used often as well. So many amazing quotes in that movie!!</p>
<p>Just us parents and D2 will go to the ceremony. SO not looking forward to it: 800 graduates, of which I know maybe 50. Outdoors on stadium seating. It’s worse for the graduates, they don’t get to bring a book. We have three extra tickets, anyone want them? :)</p>
<p>We get ten tickets but are only using 8. My sil and bil are only coming because my FIL doesn’t like to drive long distances anymore. My parents (who sound just like Cookers - even down to playing bridge) are flying up from Florida. They are only staying here a few days then going down to my sister’s as that is nearer to where my mom’s sister who isn’t well is. </p>
<p>My parents never make it about them. They always tell their grandchildren to go and do whatever when they visit. My mom hated that my grandmother (my dad’s mom) made us feel guilty if we didn’t sit with her when she came to visit. </p>
<p>We are going for brunch after the ceremony. I have invited our best couple friend to that so will be 11 total. I assume after that boychild will go to some parties and everyone else will come back to the house. I’ll do a cookout for dinner and that will be that.</p>
<p>Our cruise debarks on Sat. June 11; the ship will dock around 7:00 a.m. and we have an 11:10 a.m. flight. We are going to self-disembark (meaning we will carry our own luggage off the ship) and I’m trying to find the fastest way to get to the airport. I know we can just walk out and find a cab, but it has also been suggested to pre-reserve a town car. Can anyone give me recommendations on this? It will be the four of us and probably 2 large suitcases and 2 medium-sized ones.</p>
<p>PM me, if you’d rather do that than post on here. Thanks!!</p>
<p>I love my mom, but she drives me C<em>R</em>A<em>Z</em>Y. Things are fine one on one, but in big groups and on big occassions…</p>
<p>I just got a text asking if she could send my some names and addresses that I needed to include for S’s graduations announcements. Are you kidding me??? Is there a region out there where it is appropriate to send High School graduation announements to the friends of the grandparents??? <strong><em>sigh</em></strong> Did I mention we live 3 states away and these people don’t know ME let alone our S!</p>
Oh, I totally feel your pain. This type of thing would not surprise me in the least. I am so sorry for your frustration and wish I would offer something more than solidarity…</p>
<p>okay I have a graduation related question. D is not actually graduating from her program- but receiving a certificate of completion. She graduates from her local high school- but is not going to that and no one out of state would even recognize the name. I am reluctant to do traditional graduation announcements, mostly because for other than grandparents it looks like I want people to send her gifts (and many of these folks don’t have much). I want to send something to people and include her senior pic and let them know where she is going to college, but I do not want to handwrite a bunch of letters. Anyone have ideas as to what kind of announcement (if any) I should send- and appropriate wording?</p>
<p>Kinderny, boychild’s school gave us a stack of printed announcements and they are still sitting in the envelope they were sent home in a month ago - so obviously if it were me I wouldn’t send out anything. </p>
<p>JMO, but everyone who is really close to her probably already knows and anyone who isn’t probably doesn’t care and will toss note and picture into the bin.</p>
<p>I’m planning to send out an announcement with pictures of son as a kindergartner and HS senior, some little quote, grad details, where’s he’s going to college and say something like, “This note is NOT a solicitation of gifts, rather the sharing of our joy of Son’s accomplishment. Save the date of Aug ** for the going away party!”</p>
<p>I like knowing where other kids are going and am not planning on sending this out to people that won’t care. I hope I know who they are!</p>
<p>It just took me over an hour to get through the posts since yesterday; how am I going to catch up with all that I missed before? </p>
<p>UT & Shaw-- congrats to both your kids! It sounds like they have been very thoughtful in their decision making, and both are going to fabulous schools.</p>
<p>Re: winter weather gear for FlMM’s S or anyone else venturing into cold weather clime from warm. My S, who waits outside in all sorts of winter weather for his 30 min public bus commute to a private school with a large, hilly campus which has him walking from building to building all day, wears a Columbia jacket of the sort that UT spoke of: it has a detachable fleece jacket liner (which he wears alone when it’s fall/spring) and an outer heavy, water-proof shell. He most definitely wears a hat/gloves (hat – beanie type, gloves – northface fleece), and on very snowy days, he’ll wear boots; otherwise, sneakers. He wears layers – usually a long sleeved T under a hoodie. For pants, he’s either in jeans (even has a couple that are flannel lined), cords in a jean style or khakis. His younger brother who goes to our local public HS where he’s in-doors all day once he gets there, only wears a north face fleece jacket, no gloves but a beanie hat, mainly bc he thinks it’s cool. So I really think that S1 is dressed that way bc he’s trekking outside every 50 minutes to get to the next class, as he will be in college.</p>
<p>Re: graduation. My M, if she gets relief from her serious back pain, will be abroad by the time my S graduates in mid June. She lives 6 mths in her hometown in Europe and travels w/ her sister and BIL. She can’t travel alone at this point. I think she’s really sad that she won’t see him graduate as she really adores him. But the good news is that his college is only 15 mins away from her home here in the states. They’ve already planned on him bringing some classmates to her home for some Sunday dinners. My H and I did the same 30 years ago when we were in college! Despite her age, she’s still a gourmet cook. My MIL will be attending but will be leaving my FIL home bc he’s in no condition to walk the campus. Unfortunately, S2 can’t attend b/c he’s got his last day of school – review day – before exams begin.</p>
<p>No one here sends graduation announcements, although it would be nice to do so for the reasons kinderny described. Glad I’m off the hook w/ that chore! His school doesn’t even do senior pics. I believe that their ID pic from this year is their pic in the yearbook.</p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong - I love my Mom and I am happy that she can share this milestone but she does drive me nuts. I just got off the phone with her when she started whining again - I finally told her that she was invited to attend this celebration. If she didn’t want to come then so be it but this is really about D and her accomplishments, not about dinner or anything else. I think she got the message.</p>
<p>BTW - we love Princess Bride…here are some of my favorites…</p>
<p>When I was your age, television was called books.
As you wish.
You rush a miracle, you get rotten miracles.</p>
(Love The Princess Bride- quotes for almost every occasion. “My name is Inigo Montoya…”)</p>
</p>