Parents of the HS Class of 2011 - Original

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
16821

<p>I posted this under a new thread, but thought I would ask here too. You all have great advice! I’ve posted here before under a different name. I am posting now “anonymously” because my daughter saw that I posted before and got a lot of grief from her!</p>

<p>Trying to get an idea of what my D will need in spending money during her first year at college. She’ll have some money from grad gifts, work, savings and I’m sure I and my ex will supplement (OK - I know I am going to have to negotiate here with the ex - perhaps, main purpose of this exercise! : ) ). But I want to get an idea of what type of things they spend $ on, including just some extra cash to have some fun. She is going to a small college, in a small town. I expect most activities will be on campus (closest airport and train are 1 1/2 hours away). She expects to join the outing club and I would expect that there will be some costs associated with weekend or day trips.</p>

<p>What would you estimate for the following? What else should I consider, excluding tuition and books?</p>

<p>food/snacks (in addition to full meal plan):
laundry:
social activities - movies, concerts, parties:
travel home (OK, I know I need to figure this out on my own; she’s going 9 hours away, she won’t be coming home much!)</p>

<p>My friend gave her son $150/mo. He goes to a similar type school. He doesn’t spend it all and is saving some each month for when he will travel during breaks and semester abroad. Have no idea if there is a difference in what girls and boys spend and what this particular boy spends his money on.</p>

<p>Any insight will be helpful. I know there will be big differences based on the kid, where she is at school, etc. Just trying to wrap my head around this!</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

16822

<p>For banking, we will have our S open an account at the on campus bank – probably when he is there for orientation. There is no local branch of our bank in the immediate area. On the money front, we are struggling with that now. We gave our oldest $170 / month for the first two years with the understanding that it was to cover everything including phone (We thought it was a good idea if she had one bill to pay.). She is much closer to home than our second. For S we are paying for the phone, and are thinking maybe $150 /month which would include money for travel home. We have made them responsible for purchasing books, so money from summer jobs is going towards that. I admit that I admire the parents who have told their kids that they have to provide their own spending money, but since we helped our D, I feel like that opportunity has passed us by. I would also add, that based on our kids, girls use more money than boys, but that could just be personality.</p>

16823

<p>Our son will probably open a checking account in his college town as we don’t have any branches here of the ones he will have available, although I’m going to make sure of that first. It was very convenient to be able to make emergency deposits at our home bank into our older son’s college bank.</p>

<p>As far as how much money to give, we always make our kids come up with that. We pay for their phone and their books, tuition and board, and transportation home, so we think it’s reasonable for the kids to come up with non-essentials. We will stock him up with consumables when we get there, send care packages, but it will be up to our son to finance extra’s.</p>

16824

<p>Son opened a checking/savings account with ATM/Debit card, with closest branch location 1.4 miles away from campus…but right on bus route. DH and I have access to both accounts, co we can deposit, transfer and monitor activity on-line.</p>

<p>He is working this summer, and we have asked him to save 75% of his net earnings to pay for books, and to use as spending $$ at school. We want him to determine a weekly budget based on his savings and anticipated expenses… and then live within his means. </p>

<p>I have asked him to take money out at the beginning of each month or week… and spend down the cash according to his plan - refrain from using the debit card, except in case of emergency. He won’t need a credit card. </p>

<p>We will supplement any unusual expenses, if needed, but we want him to take the lead in owning financial responsibility for his social life. We also asked him to take out a direct subsidized student loan… but have offered to assume responsibility for paying it back, provided he maintains Dean’s List status. DH and I feel strongly he needs to have some skin in this game!</p>

16825

<p>I think we will pay for S’s cell phone and trips home, medical expenses and possibly some other specific items, and make the rest his responsibility. He has enough savings to cover his books and incidentals and fun for a semester or two if he doesn’t want to get a job right way, but ultimately he will either have to earn enough at his next summer job to cover both his student contribution to school and books/incidentals and spending money, or work during the school year. We will send money for gifts/holidays/etc. as I’m sure the grandparents will as well.</p>

16826

<p>ShawD will have to open a new bank account and get a new cell phone because she will be in Canada. The good news on the bank account is that ShawD’s grandmother is a good client of one of the big Canadian banks and we have an account there as well. So, I just called them and asked to set up an account for her. They were happy to do so and wanted to make sure we did it through their office rather than the local bank branch in ShawD’s college town so they could help if there were a problem. We’ve found a phone plan that provides coverage in both the US and Canada without roaming charges.</p>

<p>I’ve always been a bit unclear about how to handle money. Fixed allowance or cover what’s needed. Due to a combination of intense desire to succeed and learning disabilities, I don’t expect ShawSon to earn any money when at school. However, he spends very little, so it hasn’t been an issue. ShawD does like to go to TJMaxx and Urban Outfitters and shop online, but she is going to attend a school which will charge us $13K per year compared to $53.5K a year at Amherst. Do we put her on a budget or figure she’s saving us so much money we don’t worry about it?</p>

16827

<p>momofboston - Rats. We are going to miss the Chihuly exhibit in both Boston & Israel. Maybe next year!</p>

<p>EO - I hired a nutritionist recommended by my doctor. She changed what I was eating. No more pasta (BOO HOO), almost no carbs, protein at every meal, small portions, 4 meals a day.</p>

<p>mamom - I am shocked at where business students are starting math!</p>

<p>We have our accounts at BOA so opened DS’s checking & savings account there too. Both accts joint with me so I can see everything when I log in to mine. There is an ATM in town and I’m hoping he can cash a check on campus if needed for pizza etc. </p>

<p>He’ll also have a Amex credit card that I can put a limit on and change his limit online as often as I want (keep it low except when he is travelling). I haven’t thought about how much spending money we’ll give him. He is very cautious with money and we encourage him to go out and socialize so I don’t want money to hold him back. As soon as I figure it out, I’ll let you know. BTW - I definitely think girls spend way more than boys in general unless the boy has an expensive hobby (golf, skiing) or eats 6 meals a day).</p>

16828

<p>Like many of you, I would rather give my D a certain amount each month/semester for her to budget than pay for every item that comes up. And I don’t plan on paying for everything. She will need to be vested in the budget process and I think the best way for her to do that is if she has to spend some of her own money, whether it is grad gifts, prior savings or earnings. I’m just not sure what types of things she will be spending money on. Currently, she pays for her social life - movies, concerts, meals out with friends, clothes beyond what I consider basic (she wore a uniform to HS and I will need to buy her some more clothes; she’s heading to New England, so her summer clothes won’t cut for too long!) The other issue is that my ex and I will share in our contributions towards her expenses and I am not sure how that is going to pan out so I am trying to anticipate what D’s needs may be, and then we’ll figure out what I, ex or D will cover. Our current financial arrangement will change now that she is off to college (still have others at home).</p>

<p>Although D already has a checking and savings account, I am going to open up a new one for her at the one bank that has an ATM on campus. There are branches here, so no big deal. She also has a credit card, but it is tied to my account. May try to change that to my ex’s account! Credit card will be for emergency only or “approved” on-line purchases for books or other “needs”.</p>

<p>D will also have a campus card that we can deposit money. I think the card is good on campus for the bookstore, cafe, etc. Don’t know if anyone in town accepts it.</p>

<p>She’s a pretty thrifty kid and I’m not too worried that she’ll go too crazy with the spending.<br>
I do want to make sure, though, she has enough money to participate in some fun things and be social (no, I hope it won’t go towards beer!).</p>

16829

<p>

IMO, one has little to do with the other. If your daughter needs clothes and your family budget and vision is one of getting value for your money, then shopping at The Max or Target (pronounced the French way, of course) matches the model. I don’t believe in taking the savings you were fortunate to have on college and changing your shopping to Nordstroms. But, this is just MY opinion, like I said.</p>

<p>As I’ve said, my DS has been very lucky to get some very sizable scholarships so his college education expenses will be very manageable. He wanted to know why he had to work this summer when (1) none of his friends are (2) he already worked to get the scholarships. I debunked #1 easily and explained that you work for many reasons, only one of which was making money. After I went thru the positive reasons for working and witnessed some amazing eyeball rolling, I think he understood even if he would not admit he agreed.</p>

16830

<p>

</p>

<p>I think the problem is the sequencing of math courses. LOTS of students don’t take Calc. They take Algebra in 8th grade, Geometry in 9th, Algebra II in 10th and PreCalc in 11th. Senior year, those who don’t take Calc either take AP Stats or nothing. Either way, they get out of practice and don’t do as well on the placement tests as they would have right after taking PreCalc. I really wish they would do some sort of assessment in middle school - of aptitude or interest or whatever - and have the kids who won’t be taking Calc, start Alegbra in 9th grade, leading to PreCalc senior year.</p>

<p>BTW, foreign language is even more screwed up. Many start in 8th grade, so they have their required 3 years in by the end of sophomore year. Many are taking their college placement tests after more than 2 years without foreign language instruction.</p>

16831

<p>The conversation here spurred me to have the budget/banking conversation I’d been meaning to with D.</p>

<p>I was pleased that she already knew there were fee-free ATMs on her campus. She says she doesn’t see a need to get a bank out there, since she can get an ATM card from her bank here and use it for her simple needs. I said if/when she gets a job out there it might be worth it to have an account, but that she’s probably right for this year, anyway. She has a checking and savings account here, has just about enough money to last her first year, depending on her spending. She says even with the temptations of NYC she can’t see herself spending even $50 a week on entertainment, clothes, sundries, etc. She likes to do things, but she loves bargains. We know she’ll get a ton of deals on theatre through her school and other discounts. She also has a credit card that we pay, that she can use for books, booking her own flights, and emergencies.</p>

<p>shawbridge’s question rings in our house, too. We have about the same price differential between D1’s and D2’s educational costs. Of course we have no intention of handing D2 the balance, nor would she expect it. We want her to have the same “education” in handling money that D1 had, somehow. D1 had to work summers and during school to finance all of her extras, since she used up all we could do for her with her basic school cost. D2 might be able to have summers where she gets great experience - but maybe as a volunteer, or even in a program we pay for if it’s valuable, and we might subsidize her sundry expenses during the school year if her meaningful occupations don’t bring in the income. It seems like a reasonable trade for such a low college cost, especially if she’s making herself more employable in the future.</p>

<p>Part of this is the nature of their fields - D1 could get lab jobs, research internships (that paid really well!) and is probably looking at getting a salary in grad school. She is a very frugal person who had to swallow a lot of pride because the best school for her was very costly. D2 knows she has done herself a big favor by not exhausting help from us in paying for college. But she always will have a very clear “deal” about what funds she has available to her. She’s not quite as naturally frugal, and today we talked very clearly about how she’s going to need to budget herself. She says she’s looking forward to the responsibility.</p>

<p>She isn’t earning money this summer, has a volunteer internship and other activities. But she’ll do some work for us to make up for a small allowance for entertainment. My philosophy is that you can give your kids whatever amount of money feels right to you, but the important thing is whether or not they understand a clear deal that helps them learn to manage money and become mature about it.</p>

<p>I’ve seen rich kids who think there’s an endless stream - and I’ve seen quite poor kids who are incredibly careless with money, too. I’ve also seen the complete opposite with both kinds, when parents are fair and consistent, and let the kids learn the hard way what happens when you manage your money badly.</p>

16832

<p>PS - before anyone worries D is shorting herself on spending money being near NYC, she has enough for more like $100/week in her bank account already from savings, grad presents, etc. - she just doesn’t want to spend that much. She knows what the train fare is to/from the city, and what student tickets cost, including the $10 tickets to plays, operas, museums, etc. via the Honors College. Plus she’s a major vintage/goodwill kind of clothes shopper.</p>

16833

<p>As I read all the budgeting comments I have to add in my two cents. S had to get a checking acct last summer so his work check could be direct deposited. It is linked with my checking so I can move money in if necessary and I can see how he is spending his money. He has a debit/ATM card. What I have found is he has no idea how he is spending his money. I see him using his debit card for a cup of coffee, a package of gum, etc. The problem is all those one and two dollar purchases add up to a lot of money over the course of a week. We have talked to him about budgeting but it is going in one ear and out the other. So sometime this week I am going to force him to stop using the debit card except for gas purchases and have him start living off the cash in his pocket, whatever that amount is. I am sure the first several weeks are going to be a struggle and adjustments will have to be made, ie-increases in his weekly draw.</p>

16834

<p>drat, just got locked out of my bank account online. Using a different lap top than normal and it asked me those dreaded security questions. “What was the name of my first pet???” Really?? I don’t know and I can’t believe I even choose that question to answer. Then if asked me my mothers middle name which I do know and thought I answed correctly, but I guess not.</p>

16835

<p>Yee-haw, mamom! (I mean the previous post - not the one about being locked out of your online banking…)</p>

<p>And I forgot to say how happy I was that you all had fun at Marquette. Really Milwaukee is a fantastic city. There are some rougher areas around Marquette, so please encourage him to pay attention to all of the safety advice. But he’ll be fine, and he’ll have a ton of fun there.</p>

<p>I told D today 2 stories about how I learned to deal with money. First, I always set my savings plan first - my job before college paid just a bit more than $100 a week, depending on my timecard (I punched a clock at a warehouse). Some weeks I had $11 to spend, other weeks maybe $18. I had other income to fill in the gaps, but I knew I’d save my $100/wk guaranteed. Second, like many of us, I was in college when “cash cards” were invented, and I was worried about overdrawing. In my first job, I wrote my weekly cash withdrawals into my check register and subtracted them at the beginning of the month; I checked them off from week-to-week when I actually used the cash card.</p>

<p>I told her that it never hurts to take money away from yourself first, before you’re tempted to spend it. She has a little habit of saying “I bought this or that extra” (like when she’s using our credit card to buy clothes) “and I’ll pay you back.” It’s been hard to break her, but when she’s at school she knows that deal is OVER. </p>

<p>She has overdrawn a couple of times (D1 did, too, not understanding the timing of depositing, waiting for checks to clear, and THEN using the money), and paid the penalties herself. That sure is a wake-up call for a teen!</p>

16836

<p>My ds will be clueless about finances, about spending money and the like. He will undoubtedly be the subject of many funny stories when we get to the other side (“College Class of 2015 and Beyond” or whatever it gets named). I had to point out a monthly $3 charge on his bank acct, which ended up being a charge for when you do more than 3 ATM/debits per month. He still just shrugged that off, like “so?” He certainly knows how to spend money and he has earned money (he’s had a job for 5 yrs which started off all busy but now rarely has extra hours for the HS workers) but he has squandered that away mostly on senioritis and his “bro-nights.”</p>

<p>What I find difficult is the amount of options in dining plans - certainly I will learn the system, but for him - it does require a more fiscally responsible eater - e.g. “Use your dining passes only when you are going to eat enough because each pass costs us about $9. If you are just in the mood for a bagel - get it with “dining dollars” at a cart.” For Pitt, the plan is semester long but unused dollars/passes disappear - no rollover. So there will either be feast or famine come December. As well, the housing plans, there are differences in cost but they don’t spell that out when you select those options. What’s up with that?</p>

<p>The good news with Pitt, is your ID gives you free public transport around the city. It seemed like prices in general, although being a city, were more moderate than what I would expect. </p>

<p>I really admire everyone’s fiscal planning to be able to afford all this. I am still a deer in the headlights for how this is all going to work. Like Kinderny’s mantra, mine will be “still looking for work.” </p>

<p>Ldinct - Yeah, just hang out for 3 months waiting for the 2nd interview! Geez, that sure is obnoxious!</p>

<p>ps thank you for the cyber hugs, I needed them and I appreciate you all indulging me, this forum is really my only outlet, and I really keep it together in person because I am able to get these things out by expressing them here. I know to some it must be quite annoying, it is to me as well! :)</p>

16837

<p>Congrats to all of our graduates and families,
Hang in there to all of our grads-to-be and families, and
Hugs to all the parents who are in special need of TLC right now!</p>

<p>Re: college banking, just wanted to remind everyone to check with your own bank first to see if they enable online transfers to accounts held at other banks. Many do. So our oldest chose ABC bank with an on-campus ATM, and we simply set up a monthly transfer from our XYZ account to her ABC account. </p>

<p>(And kinderny still hates her D’s school)</p>

16838

<p>Have a freelance project to finish tonight so I’m just dropping by to say hello. Husband, son and crew are on Day 2 of their construction work and have almost completely replaced a roof on a house in the Navajo reservation.</p>

<p>Big news is: Husband texts me last night as says “Who is DS’s primary care physician? We need it for an accident report.” Lovely, right? Never mind that I gave him DS’s insurance card before they left. I respond with the name and then ask “why? what happened?” No answer. Texted the questions again. No response. Sort of a rough way to try to fall asleep. After two texts this morning, I finally got a response. DS got bit by a dog at the work site. In his thigh. Hubby send me a picture of the really ugly bruise and full set of teeth marks. He had asked if he could pet the dog and the owner said “yes.” Apparently he should have asked the dog.</p>

<p>On the banking question, we will give DS $100 a month allowance. He has his graduation gift money and a his research grant salary. Before he leaves, we will have him do a budget (just like the personal finance merit badge in Scouts). That’s his money for pizza delivery, fresh baked cookie delivery (yes, there is such a thing), etc. He may blow it all by the middle of the month and have to deal with it.</p>

<p>Hope everyone has a lovely evening.</p>

16839

<p>On the subject of budgeting:
At D’s orientation that was a question posed to the Orientation Leaders. The average was $200/month for things like dining out on Sunday nights (the dining plan’s last meal is 2:00 PM on Sunday), social stuff, etc. One thing was that of the 3 that were asked, the girls got about 200/month, the guy only got about 50. </p>

<p>We currently give D 100/month for gas, dining out etc. We will continue to do that but she has to use her money from graduation for books and whatever she uses beyond the $100. She will have her car on campus so that has to include gas as well. She shouldn’t have to use her car that much since the school has buses to get around campus. It will be up to her to budget. She has done well with managing it for the last year or so but I am sure college budgeting will be different.</p>

16840

<p>Marquette offers one dining plan, just one. I went online several times before I believed in this day and age and all the choices every other school offers, they only offer one. It lets the kids pretty much all they want except in one or two dining halls so it is sure to be sufficient. We do have a choice of buying $100 or $500 in marquette bucks or whatever they call it. It does roll over, thankfully so we will get the $500 plan. You have to buy their health services plan, it’s not insurance but allows unlimited access to the health center. They charge us something like $40 for a bus pass to the city of milwaukee public transportation, much less than what I paid for a S to get T pass for Boston. </p>

<p>I do have to revisit his vaccinations. He just got the Gardisil one and I thought he was caught up on all others but saw that someone here said these kids needed a meningitis booster. I will have to ask about that. The school is OK with his current immunizations but they don’t require much. He goes back for the second Gardisil in August so maybe he can get the booster then if he needs it. </p>

<p>I had S sign away his rights to privacy to his grades, health and bursar acct while I was at Marquette. Easier than I thought. </p>

<p>We have a trust set up in case of H’s & my death. I think they get whatever is left after paying for their school and living expenses when they are 23yo. I do have to have the will rewitten though, we have changed out minds about who we want for 11yo D’s guardian.</p>