<p>mamom - good idea getting DS to change his habits now. People spend less when they pay cash and when they have to break big bills. Would you break a $100 bill for a pack of gum?</p>
<p>DS’s school has one meal plan too, but with <400 kids I wouldn’t expect more.</p>
<p>AmandaK - don’t for a minute think that you are annoying anyone by venting here. We’ve agreed many times that this is the place for that and you certainly have a right to your feelings!</p>
<p>I think DD2 is going to have a more difficult time learning to live within her budget than her older sister did but we’ll see.</p>
<p>Oh, I think I didn’t tell you all that yesterday when D went to the doctor for her physical-college health form-immunization they called me saying the computer had no record of her shots! She’s only been going to this organization since she was 6 mos old! The only answer they could come up with was a “computer purge.” Well, too bad - they’re going to have to reconstruct it from her visit record. I told them they had until August, so I felt better than I have other years when I forget about these things and give them 2 days to get a form done (or 2 hours!).</p>
<p>And while I’ve gotten copies of her immunization records in the past, I’m sorry to say I haven’t compulsively filed them at home - I was foolish enough to think that’s what the doctor’s computer was for. Hopefully it’ll all work out and she won’t go to school in August with bandaids all over her arms.</p>
<p>Emmybet - If you have any doubt the doctor cannot reconstruct the records,perhaps you/your daughter can get a copy from her school. I doubt they are discarded yet.</p>
<p>Yes! That was my next call. I forgot today; thank you for reminding me. I have my fingers crossed the records are still there. Watch it be the thing they’re obsessively prompt about!</p>
<p>I really love this thread. I love the thoughts around monthly allowance. I think we will start with $100/month and a cc for emergency. Thanks for everyone’s great advice.</p>
<p>Olderwisermom: Sorry to hear about the misunderstanding between the canine and your DS. Trusting everything thing will be okay.</p>
<p>Back to finances,</p>
<p>FlMathMom and EmmyBet, I wasn’t imagine switching from TJMaxx to Neiman Marcus because of her good fortune in picking a less expensive school and getting a scholarship – and they told us that if she is proactive and asks, she can aldo get a job working for one of her professors (in biology or biochemistry) for $7-8K for the summer. So, net annual cost to us would be $6K. She’s a responsible kid and did an internship at a biology lab two summers ago and went to a university summer science program the next summer. </p>
<p>She’s a careful shopper but she shops for recreation above and beyond need, especially for makeup. She loves makeup – it seems like a form of self-expression for her and she’s 5’9", thin, muscular and all legs so people suggest modeling not infrequently. A couple of weeks ago, I took her shopping and on the way back, she said to me, “If I could get a job that involved science, makeup and fashion, I would be so happy.” I said, I don’t know about fashion, but on makeup, I know where to go. My firm has a long-standing client that is a major player in cosmetics. I had lunch with my partner who deals with them today and mentioned this and he said, just let me know and I’ll introduce her to the right people there. So, it could go from avocation to vocation (though I doubt they’d pay her $7K for the summer). She’s thrilled about the idea.</p>
<p>I haven’t really worked on teaching my kids about spending. My bad. But, ShawSon in HS was really learning how to balance serious learning disabilities with serious intellectual gifts as well as some physical disease (which surgery during a gap year appears to have corrected) and I just didn’t want to burden him with anything else. The good news: He learned well – he was admitted to good schools (Ivy and NESCAC) and is attending one of the country’s elite LACs. To do well (and he’s doing very well), he strategically manages his time and energy (really energy more than time), and a budget would just be another constraint on his time/energy management. He’s capable of handling that now, but he spends nothing – ignoring books, he probably spent less than $500 out of pocket in each of his first two years of college. Basically this was for second dinners. He’s taken a few trips (Bonnaroo, Europe during a gap year, and this summer a road trip to Zion, Bryce, and the Grand Canyon) and has been extremely frugal (going to Burger King in London because the pubs were too expensive). Given that we have not created budget constraints for ShawSon, it feels like it would be uneven to impose big financial constraints on ShawD. </p>
<p>It is also true, and I don’t know how to factor this in, that we are OK financially. We’d fully saved for two full-pay college tuitions. ShawD attended a private HS that costs us way more than her university will. We travel several times a year for vacations (this calendar year, skiing in Canada, family trip to Greece, ShawWife and me to Italy – ShawWife is teaching art at a villa in Tuscany and ShawD was going to join us but is instead traveling with one of our family friends now now in Paris, etc.). But, in the long run, I do want to make sure that she knows how to manage her life, including spending, because she won’t necessarily earn the income that I do.</p>
<p>went back about 4 pages. We are a busy group. </p>
<p>OWM - yikes about dog bite! so glad it was “only” his leg and not his face or neck. Hope it heals fast.</p>
<p>Emmy - I am one of those who scans in all physicals and immunization sheets. I find it is easier than holding onto a hard copy for camp and school when they request them. Hope your Doctors office is able to quickly pull all that info together. </p>
<p>KLM - I expect S to earn most of his spending money this summer but he was offered a small amount of work study at school. I think his courseload is light enough that I am going to suggest he do the work study (about 5 hours a week) for any additional funds he needs. We are paying for all school related expenses including books. S went to private school and I always had to buy his books anyway, so it is not a new expense for me. </p>
<p>Idinct - good luck with the job hunt. I hope you don’t need that interview in Sept!</p>
<p>FlMathmom - Shihuly is the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston through Aug 7th. I need to get over there to see it soon.
[Visit</a> Chihuly: Through the Looking Glass at the MFA](<a href=“http://www.mfa.org/chihuly-music/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_term=branded-general&utm_content=mfa-presents-chihuly-music&utm_campaign=mfa-presents-chihuly-nat]Visit”>http://www.mfa.org/chihuly-music/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_term=branded-general&utm_content=mfa-presents-chihuly-music&utm_campaign=mfa-presents-chihuly-nat)
Congrats on weight loss!!</p>
<p>Kathie - hope your D got home safe and sound.</p>
<p>momjr - I am sure your years of service were well appreciated. Think of all that free time you now have!</p>
<p>aria- sorry you didn’t get any formal pics of S at prom. I am sure he looked great!</p>
<p>AK - unfortunate about the recital piece, lesson learned by your S. I am sorry your Mother was not there. These big occasions are when we miss the ones we love. </p>
<p>VaMom - we save original boxes. not sure why except I guess to see what the Lego is suppose to look like when built.</p>
<p>cgpm - cruise sounded like it was lovely! welcome back.</p>
<p>OWM- ouch. I am so sorry- both about the bite and not knowing right away about the details of the incident. </p>
<p>AK- If i can kvetch about D’s school (not serious) then you can share your sorrow (much more serious) about missing your Mom. Ditto for Pepper and others that feel like they are leaning too much on this community. I consider it a sanity saver- plus fun to boot.</p>
<p>D believes that she is thrifty-I believe that she is cheap about paying for things she needs (and can save a lot when motivated) but then blows her $$ on frivolous things such as extra clothes (and oh my god the shoes!). She has not been a social creature so has not spent much on going out. We are giving her $100/mo for necessities above and beyond room, board and tuition (and we pay for her cell plan). She has qualified for work study but may or may not try it- we don’t care so much this first year. We’ve talked about how she is going to access funds. I mentioned a local bank without ATM fees but it is up to her to figure it out. She has a debit card for the account where we will transer her monthly stipend.</p>
<p>This seriously made me laugh out loud.
<a href=“And%20kinderny%20still%20hates%20her%20D’s%20school”>quote=TXArtemis</a>
[/quote]
</p>
<p>shaw - I had no doubt you had a thoughtful plan for your kids, nor that they will be thoughtful and planful themselves! </p>
<p>Your remarks simply made me wonder again what it will be like in the long run to have 2 kids with a X4 college cost differential. D1 is the first to complain that we “spoil” her sister (with or without justification), but she says she won’t bat an eye these next 4 years if D2 gets to do different things in the summers, get some spending money from us, has more trips home (or parental visits), or if we pay for her grad school. D2 could have gone to a school at D1’s high cost and wouldn’t have had those perks, and D1 knows it’s a different ballgame.</p>
<p>But I’m also concerned because D2 is just a little bit frivolous (she and kindneryjr could be twins about the shoes) and not quite as industrious that someday she might need a hard lesson in supporting herself within her means. But maybe not - she’s really quite planful.</p>
<p>I’ve seen kids who have had “too many” trips abroad (a friend’s sons are “tired” of Europe!!) but clearly your kids have a great perspective and know they are lucky to live in a family where that is a common occurrence.</p>
<p>I’m guessing D2 will spend within the average range of money - she won’t eat out much (which uses up more cash than anything else college students do), get daily lattes or use expensive substances (legal or illegal). We all know college students really only have so much time for outings and entertainment. But H and I want her to be able to enjoy NYC, since that’s one of the reasons why she is going to school within spitting distance, so I’m glad she has a bit of a stockpile for now. If any relatives wants to give her a gift, or if he and I want to pitch in for something particular, I saw yesterday that a 10-pack of train rides is about $60. As you Pitt-bound folks have said, “free” transportation is a great incentive to get out and around town.</p>
<p>Psst - Pepper’s son graduated last night. Let’s surprise her!</p>
<p>hurray for pepper’s son’s graduation!!!</p>
<p>Is that what you meant?</p>
<p>(standard addendum here 
)</p>
<p>Congratulations to Pepper’s son, our most recent grad!!</p>
<p>Hello all - we survived our open house with glorious weather, plenty of friends, and a happy grad. What a relief! Now, I can finally enjoy her friends’ gatherings.
AK - hugs on missing your mom; we thought about my dad a lot over the last week. Milestones are significant and highlight the losses we’ve had. What a blessing your memories must be.
OWN - bummer about the dog! Yay Pepperson and all our other new grads!
Thanks to all those who have served school orgs, church orgs, scout orgs, etc. We are “graduating” from some of our volunteer duties 
Good luck on moves, clear outs, and job hunting!
When D returns from her training trip, she will be locked in her room with a shredder and some garbage bags. She will then be chained to a table with her thank you notes. Then she will start doing her own laundry
D will be joining her university credit union. No local banks with branches, free transfers, free ATMs there. D will get no allowance from us. She needs to do books and expenses herself. I expect I will slip a $20 in the mail fairly regularly and she will have zero interest loans available if the scholarship $/summer wages run out. She has a meal plan, no car, and we will stock her with school and personal supplies at move in.
We have legal stuff set up so that kids get their $ in two installments (21 and 25). Dear neighbor, who is a great father and smart about money, is trustee.
Shots done! Happy Wednesday all.<br>
I still hate kinderny’s school too.</p>
<p>momjr ~ Thanks </p>
<p>momofboston & EAO1227 ~ Thanks. EAO: good old calories counting (healthy foods) and walking. 
</p>
<p>
^ Lol, momjr!</p>
<p>
^That is so great, mamom!</p>
<p>OWM ~ How awful about your DS having been bitten by a “friendly” dog! Hope it heals quickly.</p>
<p>mamom ~ Thanks </p>
<p>pepper03 ~ Congrats on your Ss graduation!</p>
<p>Concerning spending money, so far $100 a month (on top of room & board and tuition/scholarhips) sounds about right for us as well, together with a credit card (our account) for emergencies only.</p>
<p>Congrats to Pepper and son on his graduation!</p>
<p>Mnmom:Glad to hear that your Open House was a success.</p>
<p>OWM: I’m hope your son’s bite heals quickly.</p>
<p>When you set up checking accounts for your freshmen, it might also be worth setting some sort of overdraft protection. My D1 overdrew her account once, and the fees were much more expensive than the overdraft amount. (She did learn a good lesson about keeping track of her checks). One other expense to consider is Fraternity/Sorority dues. They vary by school and chapter, but they were much higher than I expected. We will definitely need to set a limit on D2’s spending $$. She is NOT frugal, and there’s great shopping within walking distance of her school.</p>
<p>The student checking account we opened for son is linked to a savings account. Provided funds are there, transfer will be made automatically at no cost… to cover potential overdraft. I like that it also offers free atm for out of network transactions, AND that we can monitor his financial activity from home.</p>
<p>I believe overdraft fees are $38 per occurrence…ouch! That can make for an expensive cup of “must have coffee.” Heaven forbid, the kid also grabs a slice of pizza with his debit card later in the day. That could be close to an entire week’s spending money, blown on $5 or $6 worth of consumables.</p>
<p>Potential overdraft fees and incidental/impulsive spending are two reasons we asked our boy to ice the debit card - reserving its use for emergency-only. </p>
<p>We will sit down to help him plan/strategize his budget (including a reserve or surplus amount for unknown stuff) …but he really needs to learn to figure out what he can afford to spend, withdraw that amount each month or week… and use cash for his social purchases. </p>
<p>We are paying for his schooling …with some added incentive for him to perform well, by paying his loans, should he maintain Dean’s List status). We have also paid his HStuition and pretty much every want and need to this point… so we see this as nudging him toward the edge of the nest with a little independence/accountability. I hope it doesn’t backfire!</p>
<p>CONGRATULATIONS PEPPER AND PEPPERSON!!!</p>
<p>You made it to the other side!!!</p>
<p>
Congrats on the weight loss, FLMM!</p>
<p>Just to show that there are lots of different ways to do this successfully…I’ve been doing almost the exact opposite of you for the past year or so, with good results.</p>
<p>Pasta or rice almost every dinner, mixed with lots of sauteed or stir-fried vegetables and small amounts of boneless/skinless chicken breast (plus small amounts of olive oil and grated cheese). Very little protein; almost no red meat.</p>
<p>Lots of fresh fruits/vegetables. Carbs everyday (besides the pasta, a bagel or scone every morning with fruit). Cheese and fruit (and sometimes another 1/2 bagel or slice of whole-grain bread) for lunch.</p>
<p>Portion control? Yes, important. Lots of fruits & vegetables? Yes, probably important for everybody. Lots of protein? For me, no. Lots of carbs? For me, yes. Fair amount of dairy? Yes.</p>
<p>This is a great approach for me, yet I know of you (FLMM) and lots of others who do it very differently.</p>
<p>I haven’t increased exercise much, though I do a fair amount of heavy gardening pretty much year-round except Dec-Feb.</p>
<p>Good luck to all those who are trying! For me it’s two steps-forward-one-step-back, but over time, it does come off.</p>
<p>I uploaded a couple of cruise pics on my shutterfly album. One is June 4 as we are leaving Seattle on a bright warm day; the other is at Mendenhall Glacier in Juneau. I am already trying to figure out how to go back! Alaska was so beautiful.</p>
<p>Congrats to all the recent graduates!</p>