<p>Blue-I absolutely agree with keeping door open when not studying or sleeping. I also pick up that tip from “Naked Roommate”. I reminded my DS twice already of keeping his door open and I got the same response “no one keeps door open”. I hope it will change once school starts. There are two female students live right across from S’s room. From where he sits (by the desk) he can see thru the girls’ room if both doors were open. I wonder what are the thoughts of parents who have Ds who live in a co-ed dorm. Will it make your Ds uncomfortable when the boys across from your D’s room have door open?</p>
<p>^I guess then I would add: keep the door open unless you’re studying, sleeping, or changing.</p>
<p>sunnydayfun, if the doors are open, then no one is likely to be changing clothing, engaging in romantic behaviors, or other activities that generally take place behind a closed door. 
Being able to look out your open door into the room of your hallmates is not going to be a big deal. They’re going to be passing each other in the halls wrapped in towels, or sharing the same bathroom (if the dorm has co-ed bathrooms).</p>
<p>Congrats on all of the moves this weekend! And hugs to parents hearing the downside of homesickness, exhaustion, general anxiety. </p>
<p>missypie - I went to school in Chicago 30 years ago and I know my mother was beside herself. I am sure with even better technology the strong diligence paid to safety when I went is even stronger. I know your D is a smart girl who will learn what’s OK and not OK. I think paying attention to safety at a city school is kind of a bonding experience - people always go places together. I made a lot of friends that way, now that I think about it.</p>
<p>The above discussion is reminding me of a kid I knew at college. We didn’t have coed floors at that point. He had a room near my BF (now H); his room was at the top of the stairs, and he always had his door open, plus positioned his desk so that he faced the door. No matter when you went up or down stairs, went to the bathroom, or just walked by in general, you wondered if he would be there, looking out the door. It creeped most of the guys on his floor out. So I guess it’s just a question of how you behave. I like the open door method in general, but I think with coed floors, particularly, it would be good not to position yourself so that you look like your main focus is keeping an eye on people.</p>
<p>Four days until we get in the car. Move-in is Sunday, but we’re taking Saturday to reconnoiter and do some sightseeing in NYC (and see a play, of course). D says she’s doing OK, although she’s stressed by some last-minute computer glitches. I’m expecting highs and lows this week for all of us.</p>
<p>Missypie & emmybet: I have a kind of funny pepper spray story from my law school days in Chicago.</p>
<p>Shortly after moving to Chicago in 1989, I bought myself a small can of pepper spray on a keychain. I heard that it was a good idea to test the spray nozzle from time to time to make sure it didn’t get clogged. So, every once in a while, I’d spray it while I was walking down the sidewalk. Well, about 4 months after I bought it, I was “testing” it and nothing came out. I realized that I had “tested” every bit of pepper spray out of the darn thing! I didn’t bother to replace it. Since then- I’ve never had an occasion where I wish I had pepper spray. </p>
<p>But I’m a big believer in paying for peace of mind. (hence the CSI insurance and cloud back up for my D) I agree with missypie- if you have those things- nothing willl happen ;)</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for the kind words and wishes on our “low.” D came over to do laundry yesterday and looks like things are back on track. She’s not infused with school spirit or anything, but she said “I think it will work out.” </p>
<p>She’s funny – She gets along well with her roommate, but rm is a social butterfly type who already has 100’s of close friends in the dorm (or so it seems to d). I asked d if she talked to the them also, after all some might be potential friends for her. She said “Yeah, I talk to them, but then I see the look in their eyes, like I failed the Turing test.”(*)</p>
<p>Her plan (which I hope she actually goes through with) is to put up bulletin board notices in the dorm for people to play World of Darkness and an offer of free bellydance lessons on the courtyard for anyone interested (she hopes to start a bellydance club eventually). Today is first day of classes – I hope to get a report!</p>
<p>AK - I hope the hazing is more along the tatertot-stealing variety than the the head-shaved painted-blue variety! Yikes!</p>
<p>gator - I loved reading your story! My 13 yr d is autistic and we were told years ago that she’d probably end up in a group home or best-case semi-independent with a very simple job. Sounds like we did a lot the same as you – in-home therapy/training, multiple out of home therapies, found the perfect school. I don’t know that she’ll be breaking 2000 on the SAT, but she’s doing great in school and already talking about college (mostly due to older sis). She wants to double major in chemistry and theater! Your story was truly inspiring!</p>
<p>Love all the move-in stories and still-at-home stories too!</p>
<ul>
<li>The Turing test is a test of a machine’s ability to appear human. Basically, if you fail, that means they know you are a robot!</li>
</ul>
<p>Snoozn - I hope she keeps at it with the bellydancing classes, it might take a while to get the word out. I would be one of those shy onlookers watching and wishing I had her pluck! I am sure “her” people will be out there somewhere, she’s just got to find them. </p>
<p>Still haven’t heard from ds. It is now about 2 days later and I can’t stop my mind from racing. Sent him a short txt last night “how’s by you?” and didn’t get a reply at all. I am hoping to God that tatertots have been withheld but nothing more scarring. I read things online about band hazing and it’s all running through my head. By now, I have analyzed every word of that text repeatedly and the upperclassman being “perverted and condescending” are the things that make me scared.</p>
<p>On the bright side, had a good phone interview today that is promising. Knock wood, it would be a dream job. I kept upbeat and confident, thank you Cesar Milan, it worked.</p>
<p>^^^I think I would be heartened at “condescending”- just arrogant p*****s showing up the newbies. Nothing too terrifying. (Unfortunately I think the perverted kinda goes without saying. “This one time, at band camp.” 
)</p>
<p>Fingers crossed it was a passing storm.</p>
<p>Hi All</p>
<p>AK–I am guessing “perverted” meaning whatever potty/s3x humor is in vogue right now…and that it’s meant to “shock” the newbies…
and with some humor/ignoring combination, your ds will be ok.
And condesceding stuff is likely to disappear quickly. Right now everyone is sizing each other up–and the pecking order is being reestablished…and fwiw, all of the freshman that used to be at the top of the heap, are starting over with blank slates.
Since it’s band camp and supervised; my guess is there isn’t time for alcohol typs of hazing, right? So no worries there.</p>
<p>I know from reading about team sports hazing, I have worried about that sort of thing. However, a group or two at the U has gotten into so much trouble this year, I am hoping that sort of behavior is being severly curtailed.</p>
<p>On Open Doors—in our dorms all doors were generally open…and it was a good thing…people would say high while passing by, and you could join the group discussion etc…head to meals together etc.
Our student’s dorm is coed by floor, every other flr is guys/girls and I think the baths are that way. </p>
<p>Snoozn…why did your DD come home to do laundrey instead of staying on campus etc…?</p>
<p>Launch Date + 4 and counting… We’ll know more Friday…(Fly out Thursday)
Kiddo is packed for the most part.
Have been surprised by the stuff not going to college.
And kiddo let us kow that this is not the time to dispose of everything, it’s still kiddo’s room etc…and just because it is not going to college doesn’t mean that kiddo doesn’t want it…</p>
<p>First care package sent today. Bluejrjr helped me pick some items. Pretty funny what he insisted on including. We arrived at the post office thinking we could get one of those ‘if it fits it ships boxes’…um, there weren’t any big enough. :o We ended up buying a large box and paying for 2-3 day shipping. I only had to hesitate slightly when they asked if I wanted overnight shipping for $38! :eek: No, the brownies will keep for 2-3 days. Hopefully they don’t sit in the mailroom for long. If I don’t hear anything about the package I’ll send a text asking.</p>
<p>@emmybet: safe travels and enjoy your time in NYC. What are you seeing?</p>
<p>When is a good time for the first care package? I was thinking that his birthday (3 weeks from move-in day) would be his first package, but it sounds like some folks are sending stuff already!</p>
<p>mathmomvt - Bluejr forgot some important papers that needed to be sent, as well as a couple of pictures that he had wanted. I took the opportunity to add some goodies. His brother then wanted in on the fun and it became quite the mailing. Otherwise, I would have waited a week probably. I would NOT use me as a reference for anything. This was as much to soothe my frazzled nerves as make him feel good. Hey, at least I’m honest. :o</p>
<p>
Ahh, the good old '70’s! Is that “say hi” or stay high? ;)</p>
<p>Son opened up all the cards he got at his graduation party tonight after dinner. He was moaning about all the thank you notes he has to write, but also thinking about what kinds of electronic toys he could buy. He has now talked (on-line, of course) to both his roommates. One suggested that they need two fridges for the three of them. Alex doesn’t think he needs any. He doesn’t usually drink much besides water. We decided that he can think about it and get one later if he feels the need. </p>
<p>Feeling a little pressured about the big pack. We have a pile, but son’s room is still a wreck and he hasn’t packed a stitch of clothing. My husband just told me tonight that he’s planning to go to a baseball game on Wednesday - the day before we leave - so I’m not sure how early we will get out Thursday morning. Son has told us that there’s an informal get together for students and parents Thursday afternoon. Hope we can make it.</p>
<p>We are seeing Follies. SO excited. Meets everyone’s needs: Bernadette Peters, Elaine Paige, and big production numbers for Dad; Sondheim, Danny Burstein and Jan Maxwell for D and me. It’s also a nostalgic return to the Marquis theatre where she saw her first Broadway show - the Drowsy Chaperone - in 8th grade (mind you, she’d seen dozens of shows, but that was her first trip to NYC).</p>
<p>What does a college freshman make sure she takes from home in 2011? Well, iTunes songs, of course! She’s been downloading my CDs all afternoon. She also has been creating her staging area, the size of which will probably make us all gulp (when H got home from work he thought the 5 garbage bags of clothes was the “donate” pile). </p>
<p>I gave her the great CC advice of splitting up her books among several containers, mixing them with linens, shoes, etc. Hopefully nothing will be horribly heavy, although we will have a handcart.</p>
<p>D1 in Puerto Rico finally called; they are fine, just very wet, and didn’t have power all day so her cell phone ran out of juice. They have a small generator, so she was able to charge it a little. She sounds like she’s finding this a wild adventure. Ah, youth!</p>
<p>The best advice that I received prior to move in. Was to take it one step at a time. I was shocked at how well it went. And my son moved into a school with over 50,000 population.</p>
<p>At times it got a little crazy. But they were very organized. We had 2 vehicles my SUV and my sons Mustang. We dropped off his car at student parking went on an unpacked my SUV. Then went back and got his car. While MOM made the bed and set everything up.</p>
<p>I just hope your school was as organized as ours was.</p>
<p>Emmybet–I was thinking of your DD when I heard about the storm rolling thru PR. Glad she is OK.</p>
<p>Congrats to all who have successfully launched their kiddos. It’s exciting to read and a bit scary. We’ve still got almost 2 weeks till launch and it continues to loom large. I’m sure it will be fine, but it will be a day of mixed emotions. Proud, happy, sad, etc.</p>
<p>Spent a wonderful weekend with DS. I took him down to NC to do some scubadiving with a group of friends. The diving was wonderful and it was really great to spend some fun time with DS before he goes off to school. The weekend was too short, and now we are back to reality.</p>
<p>AK–sending zen thoughts your way and hopefully DS has sent you another text to calm your nerves! Hang in there, and have a glass of wine and stay 
</p>
<p>@emmybet: that’s a good choice. I loooove Bernadette Peters. D1 and I saw “How to Succeed in Business” with Daniel Radcliffe and she was right across the street when “A Little Night Music” let out. It was quite exciting…</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Kathiep—how funny…
autocorrect can really pick stuff up can’t it.</p>
<p>On that note–once while preparing a paper for grad school appps–I was writing about public affairs…and left out the L…
my former college advisor got quite a chuckle out of it…and I was glad it was caught before the essay went out.</p>
<p>Thanks guys, I knew you could help me return to zen. Dd1 texted ds and apparently her wording got him to call me directly earlier tonight. He reassured me that beyond sleep deprivation, he was fine and unharmed in all the ways I was imagining. When I asked him about his earlier text, he said he was just overreacting that night and things were better the next day. He only had a minute but I have to tell you, I will sleep much much better tonight, it was so good to hear his voice.</p>
<p>Emmybet - Glad to hear d1 is fine! You have more practice than I in this zen thing!</p>