<p>OMG, I would love to learn the fiddle and have a seminar with Ricky Scaggs. (I was a violinist - a very poor violinist - in HS.) Sometimes, don’t you have a feeling of I want to go to college there! I felt that way when they were decribing one of the majors at D’s school.</p>
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<p>We received the third quarter shun during D’s entire drill team career. Other girls would be running to talk with their parents, sitting on their laps if it was crowded. We almost never saw D. Sometimes we’d have nice chats with her friends, but she would almost never come by. (And we certainly knew to never go seek her out!)</p>
<p>hahahaha KinderNY We are big fans of The Princess Bride!!</p>
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<p>Amanda K Tell ya what–trade ya my surely soph for your surely student…</p>
<p>College shopping and apps for our kiddo 1 went nicely–we had great trips, saw schools, had great meals…great bonding…and part of that was a generally cooperative kiddo…(sometimes overwhelmed–yet a generally patient kid. even did apps in a very timely manner etc)</p>
<p>Kiddo2–will be a completely different thing–for so many reasons…Yet it is possible kiddo2 will be nicer to a stranger ;o)</p>
<p>At sporting events–
kiddo 1 would speak to us and be kind if we sought kiddo out…
kiddo 2 gave us the “disgruntle/rude shunning…” We said, ‘nobody thinks you are “cooler” because you are rude and nasty to your parents…’ </p>
<p>My kiddos tell me how badly their peers treat their parents and how badly they talk about them…I guess teens think they have to be at odds with their parents or put on a show to seem “independent”, idk</p>
<p>Amanda - I’m so jealous of your canning abilities! I’ll bet that jelly is going to be amazing!! Those critter’s would drive me nuts. I would take it very personally and would have paid a neighbor kid to take them out long ago…just saying. Every once in a while I make applesauce when we go apple picking in the fall, but I don’t can so we eat and give away lots in a short time.</p>
<p>Kinder - Glad you had a nice visit with your DD. Sounds like she’s easing into dorm life. You knew she wasn’t going to take to it barrels busting so all things considered (esp dealing with the ankle injury) I think she’s doing really well!! Hugs to all of you!!</p>
<p>EmmyBet - I’ve really been keeping your DD in my thoughts. Some kids are easy going and the little things just don’t matter. Other’s really pay attention to details. There are big picture people, and detail oriented people. Often it’s what makes us good at what we do. I think she will come to terms with the housing and food, but she has to allow herself to process it, not fight it. It does matter. It sounds like up until this point she tried to tell herself that it didn’t matter and mentally place it aside. Accepting that she isn’t thrilled with it, that it does matter, but she can deal with it validates her feelings…it’s not the same emotionally process as saying “it’s silly to worry about those things, they don’t matter”. It seems like splitting hairs, but in the process of becoming settled it may be something she needs to go through. Sending her (and you) gentle hugs!! :)</p>
<p>Big hugs to all parents heading to football/theater/musical events this fall where they have to experience firsts without seeing their kids participating. It’s all part of the ‘new normal’ we keep talking about. It can be really hard the first couple of times, especially when we’ve always associated that activity so strongly with our kids.</p>
<p>amandak, I’ve now done the college looking/applying/deciding thing with two completely different kids. The older one was brilliant, big-picture thinker, severely dyslexic, highly ambitious, very analytical and very tired (had sleep apnea prior to surgery plus reading/writing made him tired). I’m part of Team ShawSon. We talked about all of the schools and he chose to visit only two (plus my alma mater during reunions). He said, “I don’t want to fall in love with a school with a 10% chance of admissions.” But, the trips and the conversations were good and very far-reaching.</p>
<p>ShawD is bright but not a big-picture thinker, unbelievably good socially, anxious, not confident academically (took a while to identify and treat ADHD, so her confidence is lower than it might be). Not introspective and even talking about college admissions made her anxious. Decided to avoid the high pressure schools (not clear she would have gotten in anyway). She and I visited two schools and then she decided to look primarily in Canada because they could more or less tell her whether she would be admitted. We had a great trip, visiting U. of Rochester and seven Canadian schools. She added the seventh, which is the school she is now attending. Great trip with her, not too much discussion, though I asked her to dictate to me her reflections on each school after we visited. I was worried, like you that it might be painful. “I don’t want to talk about it.” “I’m not ShawSon.” But it was a great trip for us and, I think, strengthened her willingness to call me for advice (and often follow the advice).</p>
<p>So, it could be fun, just in a quieter, perhaps less introspective way.</p>
<p>Ahh teenagers. Don’t they all think their parents are so uncool. Luckily that passes. I’m sure we’ll be happy when we are smart and cool again! My DS put up with me being around and in return I didn’t try an smother him too much. I “think” it was a good balance.</p>
<p>DS is having a good time so far. Got an excited text yesterday when he found out his AP calculus classes/scores will exempt him from any further calculus and he will be taking stats. He also had to take the latin placement exam and seemed good with whatever happens with that. He also texted that the pre-med track is filled with all the classes he loves. Good things so far. He also changed his fb page to say he now lives in his college town.</p>
<p>We had a great weekend. Some good friends we lived next door to in GA came to visit. They are empty nesters and having the time of their lives. The husband got into mountain biking and the wife will do the easier biking routes. They’ve traveled all over the US on trips and are really enjoying themselves. Their kids are jealous!!! So that’s good news for empty nesters!</p>
<p>We went to an art festival on Saturday, visited the Pentagon 911 memorial that evening (much calmer and quiet than it would be on Sunday). Then on Sunday we took a 20 mile bike ride on the Mt. Vernon bike trail. Great time. They left early this morning but it was a really good weekend.</p>
Ouch! You want them to feel comfortable at school but that’s painful IMO. I caught Bluejr calling his school ‘home’ this weekend and without notice I started crying. It absolutely caught me off guard. He laughed and said “don’t you want me to feel at home there?”. Yes, of course I do! I asked if he could simply have two homes…school and here. We all agreed that was very reasonable and moved on. He hugged me in a very sweet but ‘whatever gets you through this’ way. I didn’t care. I took the hug and ‘dual home status’ gladly!</p>
<p>Morning everyone,
Fun catching up with all the news. D called on Fri night and we had a great chat.
" Mum, I have found my college vice". Sharp intake of breath on my end.
" Ooh, tell me more"
" Its the double choc fudge cookies in the dining hall, can’t resist, I have had 3 today!"</p>
<p>GeekSon has been gone for about six weeks, and we finally had a nice long video chat. It was lovely. Got a chance to ask him many of the things we’d been wondering, was able to see and hear that he’s still our kid and hasn’t sprouted antennae or anything. He showed us something he’d bought from the dorm auction - a DanceDanceRevolution pad. Those things are huge, and he said he can lay it on his floor, meaning that his floor isn’t covered by debris, which was an unexpected bonus. He is doing some ECs but not too many, is sort of keeping up with homework (but slept through a placement test and blamed his alarm clock), and eats breakfast nearly every day. Life is good.</p>
<p>AK you can always call on me for that frying pan! It is currently not is use so of course it is available to all my buddies here!</p>
<p>Things are not so good around here right now. Most of the stress is related to having two parents and a mother in law who are old and sick. Not much to do but the best we can. </p>
<p>I haven’t been quite this stressed in a while-so when my son mentions during a phone call yesterday he has blue fingertips and had them last week too I do the worst possible thing-go to the internet! I now have him dead and buried-I am really out there! My dog Pepper is also sick right now and I am worried about her. It’s just like the straw that broke the camels back right now-so maxed out that anything else just puts me over the edge.</p>
<p>Lefty my son is also having a bit of a shock at how hard college is! He has twice used the word “dumb” to describe himself since he has been there, and he said it has been a humbling experience. He doesn’t tell this to me-he tells his father. He had so much work to do that he told my husband he is overwhelmed and needs to make a schedule. I know he hasn’t addressed this with me since I have been telling him that he was in for a rude awakening! He simply is not used to the rigor or workload. I have a lot of confidence in him that he will be OK-but he really had no idea how little this pond was. </p>
<p>He too finds the dorm very noisy at night-and he isn’t a late night guy so I am sure much of his distress at times is because he is tired. Overall he is very happy where he is though-it just is a huge adjustment for all these kids and there are times it is going to be very hard for them. </p>
<p>fogfog-does your son like the weather now? :)</p>
<p>Good morning everyone - I hope you had anice weekend!</p>
<p>AK - love the jam…can you send some my way? I am feeling your pain with the college search…my D2 felt that we had ignored her during D1’s search but now that the attention is focused on her, she isn’t liking it one bit! Surely is an understatement in my house these days.</p>
<p>Kinder and Emmy - hugs to you…this transition is very hard.</p>
<p>Pepper - I am sorry to hear about all your stress…your in a tough spot these days. Blue fingertips, yikes, in this case the Internet is not your friend. Some kid is probably playing a prank on him when he is sleeping…I may borrow your frying pan for D2…she is definitely livng in a different world than the rest of us.</p>
<p>D1 is also struggling to figure out her daily schedule…she is loaded up with work. She absolutely loves all of her architecture classes and studio. She said six hours could go by in studio and it feels like 10 minutes…that is good news given she spent about 10 hours in the studio this past weekend! She is having a hard time with the one class that should be an easy review given she had it in high school…she also described herself as “dumb” when it comes to this class. </p>
<p>Overall, she is adjusting well. The newness is wearing off and she is just starting to feel lonely at times…just part of the process…her FB pictures shows us that she certainly has had plenty of fun the past couple of weeks…it is now about the balance.</p>
<p>I am getting a glimpse of empty nesting and I don’t think I am liking it right now. I am busy with work but it is in the evenings and weekends that I am finding I have more time than I like on my hands - I could do house projects but, nah…not into it. DH and I are going out more so that is a good thing…</p>
<p>Today is ShawD’s first day of class. So, the rubber meets the road. </p>
<p>momofBoston, her FB pictures also show that she has had a lot of fun in orientation. Arts and Sciences Coveralls worn to roll in mud (not sure what this is about), face-painting before a football game, a semi-formal, … . Now, it’s real adjustment time</p>
<p>She decided that she doesn’t have much in terms of ECs (yoga, maybe dance) so she called to see if I could help her find/revise her resume for a position running entertainment events. She was co-head of entertainment at her school and ran/supervised about three per week. This is just one per month and she gets paid $500 (total or per month). Not a tough job for her and a good way to get to know even more people – not hard for her in any event. I want to tell her, don’t do it for the money, but I think she finds it validating. </p>
<p>momofboston, the extra time is an opportunity for personal growth/contribution. What is something that would feel like it added meaning to your life? People who volunteer are actually happier on average (and there is reason to believe it is causal and not just correlation).</p>
<p>I DID THAT this am when talking with another CCmom on the phone–we were discussing Thanksgivingflights and I said something about flying “here” and then “back home” meaning the college town.
WHAT was I thinking, idk!</p>
<p>Kiddo changed the FB town to the college town the day of Move in while walking across campus…</p>
<p>Pepper–kiddo told my DH that all of the rain had impacted sports related stuff…
Other than that–kiddo evidently isn’t using an umbrella to go to classes etc…there was alot of area flooding. IDK how the drainage is on the campus…I know when we were in PHL, the water in some parts of UPenns campus was ankle deep.</p>
<p>My only thought was
–omg…those athletic shoes/sneakers must stink because of being damp from the rain and used daily!!!</p>
<p>When DD was still at home, she NEVER wore rain boots. This summer, DH was laughing at us because I bought DD two pairs (they were on sale at Target; she was abroad, & I wasn’t sure which she would like better), and she ended up taking both. From what she said this weekend, they are the ONLY shoes she’s been wearing. She said that, even when it’s not raining, the pathways don’t drain very well & the grass is wet.</p>
<p>I also figured out today how DD’s U keeps kids from being involved in too many EC’s: ALL of them meet between 7-9PM on Tuesdays!</p>
<p>D1 changed her “Lives in” on Facebook this summer to her summer camp town, and of course now it is her college town. It took me by surprise the first time I saw it, but she did keep her ‘hometown’ the same.</p>
<p>Her birthday is on Wednesday. I made her a candy bar cake and had it sent to her from the UPS store, since I honestly had no idea had to wrap and ship it without damaging it. She called me today all excited when she opened up the package. She reported that it arrived in one piece, with no damage. </p>
<p>We will see her on Sunday and take her out to dinner for her birthday.</p>
<p>Yes the change of living location was a bit sad. But I can now enter his room and do major damage and if he complains when he comes HOME I can tell him that he lives in NJ now! we tend to tease each other a lot so it will be OK. I am glad he’s feeling at home there!</p>
<p>Did you see the pics of the train station under water…?the place where you catch the Dinky…that walk through underpass was completely flooded during Irene. Other than that–I think all was good.</p>
<p>Kiddo told me that certain items were packed–I just found them on a shelf in the closet. And some things that kiddo thought were passed to kiddo2…were in the Staples bag in the closet…</p>
<p>I think the whole “packing” --which was done very efficiently–kept kiddo so focused that some things went by in the packing fog…</p>
<p>DH was in a funk all day. I thought it was the stress of just getting back from our road trip only to be leaving Thursday for Israel to visit the grandkids. He finally admitted that he misses DS terribly and had been looking forward to talking to him over the weekend. I’m sure the child will call before we leave. So far I’m OK. I’m super busy plus I (and most women) have friends to discuss my feelings with including all of my “besties” on CC. Thanks.</p>
<p>Good morning all. Passing coffee and muffins to all! </p>
<p>Fog–I didn’t see pics of the Dinky underwater. I guess those waterproof boots DS has for hiking came in handy for traipsing around campus. I’m sure there was water in other places too!</p>
<p>I’m still trying to get back into the school routine. DS2 has to be out the door at 6:35am each morning. That’s early for me! He’s trying to get into the routine too! So far we are doing well. He’s liking HS but is still intimidated by the workload (sounds like some of our college kids, huh?) </p>
<p>Hope today brings sunshine and good news from college kiddos!</p>
My DS put up with me being around and in return I didn’t try an smother him too much. I “think” it was a good balance.</p>