<p>I got the impression that DS’s school is all about students taking care of things, and parents are out of the loop. When he was evacuated from the backpacking trip we never even got an email from school. They posted on their website only. So I’m guessing they will not like a HIPPA or FERPA–neither of which are on website. DS will tell us most things, and I would expect them to call if he was in hospital.</p>
<p>DS called several times yesterday! He was trying to figure out his schedule since he didn’t test well on his latin placement. His teacher first 2 years did not give him a good foundation that he needed for those tests. He asked whether to continue latin (101 level) or take a new language. I gave him pros and cons of latin vs new language and also suggested he discuss it with his advisior. I told him the main advantage to latin was he is familiar with it and the classes will be “easier” than a new language which will free up time for other classes. He really was interested in a new language though. After talking to advisor, he stuck with latin for above reasons. He’s pretty happy with his schedule.</p>
<p>He also mentioned he would like a bike. I had tried to get him to take one, but he didn’t think he’d need/use one. So I may end up taking a trip up fairly soon with a bike! I told him to decide if he needs it (classes start tomorrow so he will get a feel for things) and let me know a good day to come up when we can have lunch. He said that sounded great!</p>
<p>I asked about roomies. Two are athletes and he doesn’t see them much. The other one is a science major like DS and also isn’t into the party scene, so they’ve been hanging out! DS said that he can’t believe how many people are going out every night and getting s**t faced (his words). I told him that happens on every campus, and will probably calm down a bit when classes start. I told him he’d find his people soon. He sounds like he’s doing really well and is excited about classes. He’s getting enough sleep and running every morning–such a party animal. It was good to talk to him!</p>
<p>Exciting home front news–they started working on my house!!! We are having the entire exterior renovated. They were supposed to do driveway last week, but rain postponed that. They started on siding and will work on roof tomorrow. Glad I will be at work for most of the roof work! It will be wonderful to have the house looking good soon!</p>
<p>re: HIPAA waiver - I needed the waiver to discuss insurance claim with insurance co. for ds’ appendectomy when they still weren’t paying the nice surgeon correctly. Even though dh was listed as the responsible person for the bill…they couldn’t discuss the bill with us unless ds wanted us to??? Really? So, the HIPAA we have on file with insurance now is good for all issues dealing with him and them - doesn’t apply to medical records, just billing/claim issues.</p>
<p>I have a question for you wise CC friends. This relates to S1 who is a college senior (turned 21 recently) who applied to medical schools this summer. He received his first med school interview invitation yesterday (yay!) and now needs to travel to Florida in Nov. for the interview. We live in Ohio and he goes to school in Pennsylvania. He is NOT a seasoned traveler and has not been on an airplane for about 10 years. I know that that’s unusual these days. Because of D1’s special needs (because of anxiety she can’t handle crowded/enclosed places), when we’ve traveled as a family, it’s been by car. The past few years have been a bit rough for us financially, so we’ve had to pass on some opportunities for travel – things like a high school trip to Spain. All of our college search trips were done by car. He’ll be traveling to France for the month of January as part of a college class, but that will be after the interview date. Here’s the question…we’re trying to decide if one of us should travel with him on this first (and hopefully not only) interview trip. He hasn’t been in an airport for 10 years, he’s not old enough to rent a car, he’s never taken a cab (suburb dwellers), he’s never taken a limo (prom not included). So he’s a real novice when it come to travel. It seems a bit unfair to me to expect him to deal with the stress of the interview and top it all off with the stress of finding his way through airports, ground transportation, etc. My husband assumes S1 will go it alone…I’m not so sure. I’d hate to have him arrive at the interview so stressed (and all of this WOULD stress S1) that he couldn’t focus on the interview. And for all we know, this may be his only interview at a med school and thus his only shot at getting in. One of my regrets of his childhood is that we weren’t able to travel more and expose him to more of these things, but there’s nothing I can do to change that now. Just trying to decide if one of us should travel to Florida with him, staying in the background, but helping him to navigate the transportation issues. Thoughts?</p>
<p>I think I’d have him travel alone, though with enough time after the flight to destress before the interview. Many airports will have shuttles to the hotels, so maybe he could take that instead of a cab. And, maybe the interview could be at the hotel? </p>
<p>He just needs to ask questions of the airport and hotel personnel, they are hired to help.</p>
<p>What is the age to rent a car? I guess I thought it was 21.</p>
<p>bajamm: Thanks for the input. The med school interview won’t be at the hotel. They’re all day events at the school. So he’d need to get from the hotel to/from the med school as well. Yes, he could choose a hotel with transportation to/from the airport. I thought the min. age to rent a car now was 25, but I could be wrong. Need to check on that!</p>
<p>OhioMom, I think I’d go with him. Yes, he’s an adult, but as you say, there are all these special circumstances. It will help him immeasurably and it won’t hurt you much at all.</p>
<p>Another option is to try to find a friend (or even a brand new acquaintance) from his (or a nearby) school also going to the med school interview if possible.</p>
<p>ohiomom, I travel all the time (and my kids do too) so this aspect of life is simpler. But, I think that it would be less expensive for your son to fly early, even a day early, and stay in a hotel, than to have you accompany him. I find it less stressful to take taxis and shuttles than to try to navigate myself to an unfamiliar place. </p>
<p>Query: Does he have a classmate who’s also invited to interview?</p>
<p>Ohiomom Hmm- I hear what you are saying about your son stressing out. On the other hand if you travel with your S you could be implying that YOU think he can’t handle it. I’d let him ask for help or indicate what he’d like/ find least stressful. If you end up going with him is there anyway that you could take an extra day to make it not so much that you think he can’t do this on his own, but you realize that you’ve never had the chance to do this together so you’d like to have a day traveling together?</p>
<p>Thanks all for they cyber hugs and condolences. Service is this Saturday.</p>
<p>ohiomom, I’ll second bajamm’s advice and add to it, that if you plan this out well enough, it should be fairly stress free but also empowering. I’m sure your son would like to be confident in himself and the only way to build that confidence is to just get through it. Southwest usually has excellent deals from Philly to Florida. (Assuming that your son is at a Philadelphia area college) The first time any of us deal with something new, it’s bound to be a bit uncomfortable, but that’s okay.</p>
<p>I would suggest investigating the hotel nearest the college to see what the transportation options are. Enterprise does rent to people under 25 for a surcharge. My daughter was excited about turning 25 because her car rental would be cheaper!</p>
<p>Ohiomom - Where is he interviewing? Is there a hotel within walking distance? If there is, you just need to find a shuttle bus to hotel from airport. Best thing I think is to travel the day before the interview - early enough to allow for a calm evening to recharge. I used to love travel and flew by the seat of my pants at times - (yes, that was me in the HK airport in '85 trying to beg enough money from kind expats and businessmen to pay the unexpected airport tax so I could get to Tokyo to make my connecting flight). I don’t know about renting a car, but depending on where he’s going, having a car always makes me more not less stressed. Better to leave the driving to someone who knows the place! </p>
<p>Stop kicking yourself about the “not being more travelled” as if that is your responsibility. My parents never took me on a plane (depression-era parents always drove everywhere including across the country, with a trailer, packed with food - eating out once a year type - at HoJos if it was a big occasion!!) and my first trip was internationally when I was in college to SE Asia/PRC.</p>
<p>kathie - Gentle hugs to you. Loss of any kind is never easy…we are never prepared.</p>
<p>ohiomom - I’m going to vote with the tribe on this one and say a well planned trip, with a hotel near the university, avoiding a rent-a-car if at all possible, and your son will do just fine. Is there any chance anyone else from his university is also going to this event? It sounds like they are interviewing quite a few students at once. If he could coordinate travel plans with another student, share cabs, etc. it would lessen the anxiety. I also agree with amanda (shocker, I know ), don’t beat yourself up about not traveling extensively with your kids. We do the best we can with what we have at the time. Our kids succeed because of what we do…and sometimes in spite of what we do! :)</p>
<p>Thanks to all of you for chiming in! This is the child who cried getting on the bus to kindergarten for WEEKS! And the child who couldn’t handle it if I volunteered in his classroom in elementary school because he “missed me” for hours afterward. The child that I FORCED to take swimming lessons, to play t-ball and soccer as a child, and the list goes on. The “homebody” child. And the child who chose my alma mater for college – I’m sure because it was the most familiar. He’s come a long way, but I still don’t think there’s an adventurous bone in his body. Different from me and different from my other kids. In some ways, sooooooo similar to my husband. I’ve always accused my husband of being his enabler and I’m always the one shoving him (picture him with his heels firmly planted in the ground) out of the nest to try something new. Him, kicking and screaming…me shoving and shoving.</p>
<p>I’m just torn on this one because it could mean a lot to his future. I’m sensitive to not wanting to coddle him – to wanting him to feel empowered by tackling this situation – and yet not wanting to screw up his big chance. He’s already hinted that it would be nice if we could make this a little mini-vacation and I could go with him. It’s tempting, because I love spending time one-on-one with him. And as those of you with 4 kids know, sometimes it’s hard to find the time to do that. I would also feel better if he had one more interview scheduled – because then I’d know that all of his eggs wouldn’t be in this one basket.</p>
<p>This med school application process is new to me. Some schools only have overall acceptance rates of 2 - 4%. It’s tough to get to the interview stage and then, even once you’re invited to interview, at some schools your chances are still below 30% from that pool. Most schools have groups of students in on interview days…sometimes 8 - 10 students per day, sometimes more. Some interview individually, some in groups. They typically assign you an interview date or allow you the choice of 2 or 3 dates. My son doesn’t know of anyone else interviewing on this day at this school and he didn’t get to pick the date. </p>
<p>From my research, there are no hotels within walking distance, but some hotels in the area that at least have airport shuttles. Yes, leaving plenty of travel time is an option, though he’s a bit concerned about missing too many classes/labs because his interview date is the week before Thanksgiving break and there are papers and exams scheduled. So, lots to think about…thanks for your thoughts!!</p>
<p>**The next new student move-in is Dartmouth College move-in on September 14th - that’s today!
Move-in day is TODAY!<br>
Labor Day is past. Football season is in full bloom. Where has the summer gone? :eek:</p>
<p>[ul][<em>]University of Chicago, University of California Riverside, Irvine and San Diego move-ins on September 18th are just 4 days to go.
[</em>]Stanford University move-in on September 20th is just 6 days to go.
[li]The last new student move-ins are the University of Oregon and the University of Southern Oregon on September 22nd which is 8 days to go. </p>[/li]
<p>The LAST Move-in day is in 8 days. Just over a week to go. The launching season is nearly complete and I will be done with this countdown![/ul]</p>
<p>ohiomom - I think a mini-vaca is in order. The med school interview process is too stressful and important to let fear, anxiety, and logistics get in the way. I realize he is 21but for whatever reason he is out of his element and not prepared when it comes to travel…once he gets in somewhere then send him off on his own to figure out the logistics. If you haven’t been exposed to travel, it is very intimidating to figure out the logistics for the first time - it isn’t like there are friendly people everywhere willing to help out like ther was 25 years agao when we first embarked on solo travel…he is more likely to run onto someone that will take advantage of a first time traveler than help him out. Just one person’s opinion.</p>
<p>Well, when you call it a mini-vacation…I’m persuaded to the other side! What city? If there was a beach, and you can get good airfare, why not - if no beach, then it’s a harder sell.</p>
<p>I’m still on the side of having him go this alone. If he has a cell phone, especially a smart phone, he is really never alone. He can call for help or just reassurance whenever he needs it. If you think about traveling, most of it is simply following directions. You get to the airport and go to the terminal of your airline (Philadelphia’s airport has very good signage), inside you can stand in line at your airline or go to a kiosk if you don’t have baggage - again there are signs. There are signs to the gates.</p>
<p>Once you get off, you just follow the herd to baggage claim. Etc. Even if there is a bump, there is a solution and it’s that solution that makes you figure out how to deal with other problems. I know that when I travel with my adult children, who have flown internationally by themselves more then I have, my husband or I tend to take the lead. We don’t even think about it. And if you are there continually smoothing the way, how will that help?</p>
<p>We, as parents, want our kids live to be painless and anxiety free but that’s not always a good thing. I’ve found that planning everything out takes away most of the anxiety.</p>
<p>My Ds have been doing solo travel quite a bit, but snags can be incredibly stressful. For example, I sent D2 to orientation on her own - and she had significant problems getting from the airport to school, even though we though we had everything perfectly arranged. However, I wouldn’t have sent her alone on something where her state of mind or stress level could impact her future, like the auditions. </p>
<p>I’m usually all over the “grow up and deal” point of view, but I think a possible med school acceptance trumps dealing with a potentially ruinous trip, especially mid-semester. It’s obvious you don’t want to make a habit of it, and he already has some major independent traveling coming up in the near future. You certainly can put him “in charge” as much as possible, just be an observer and then a fixer for something that really is over his head.</p>
<p>I have a very independent, capable D and a more middle-of-the-spectrum one, and I’d say both have had their piece-of-cake and nightmare travel experiences. But always the end of the road was somewhere they could relax and not have to be at their peak performance.</p>
<p>ohiomom, what does your S1 want? I’d ask him straight up if, given his novice traveller status, he’d like some company on the trip. He might gratefully say that yes, that’d be great. Or he might want help just with planning logistics. Or he might say thanks but no thanks, I’ve got this. </p>
<p>I’m a big fan of the tripadvisor forums. That’d be a great resource for your S1 to ask questions like how much he should expect to pay for a taxi ride from the airport to his hotel. People there love to be helpful and answer questions.</p>
<p>Ohiomom: I think you should go if your son wants you to come and you can work it out. You can use this experience to help him acclimate to flying and navigating in strange cities.<br>
Hopefully, there will be more interviews and he will be able to handle those on his own.</p>
DS said that he can’t believe how many people are going out every night and getting s**t faced (his words). I told him that happens on every campus, and will probably calm down a bit when classes start. I told him he’d find his people soon. He sounds like he’s doing really well and is excited about classes. He’s getting enough sleep and running every morning–such a party animal. It was good to talk to him!</p>
), don’t beat yourself up about not traveling extensively with your kids. We do the best we can with what we have at the time. Our kids succeed because of what we do…and sometimes in spite of what we do! :)</p>