Parents of the HS Class of 2011 - We're awesome!

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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<p>You are right BI</p>

<p>I hope that OP of the “upset” thread has someone in his/her life who can look 'em straight in the eye and give them the truth. The good thing for the OP is–if he/she hasn’t made an @ss of themself and had fits publically yet–the venting here is behind the “safety” of a keyboard…and hopefuly they can chil/adjust without anyone knowing how upset they were…</p>

<p>We Skyped this weekend for the first time too. Used the video chat function. It was great and the first time to “see” everyone. Very nice to see kiddo’s face, the body language and be able to ask questions, tell jokes, comment…in a much more casual unrestricted way. Kiddo had suggested it and it went much better than a cell phone being passed around. </p>

<p>We have told youngr kiddo to please feel free to email/call/skype with sibling …though I don’t think either one has taken us up on that…we are hoping to encourage them to start using these things and developing these methods since really they won’t ever live in the same house again…a few years from now younger kiddo will be off to college and then they are off to grad school or jobs in other places…so they daily dinner at the table/reconnecting will need to be replaced with something…
skype video seems to fit the bill pretty well…</p>

<p>Samuck–thanks for the details. I know the system varies–Even from nation to nation in the EU etc…We have friends in Norway whose son had to take a test to get into plumber’s school. That seems so foreign to us because here anyone can go to a trade school. </p>

<p>I recall that when we lived overseas parents were very worried about the written and oral exams after 5th grade because it made a determination for the next level of education and whether their student was university bound or trade school bound and since it is state paid/state run it is so different. There is a lot of “underemployment” in Europe right now…and has been that way for years and years. Then again, the US isn’t fairing so well either right now. For example, lots of those with JDs can’t find jobs</p>

3422

<p>Hi Everyone! So we dropped S at school, got delayed by Irene but then fled like cowards across the Pond to escape the empty nest blues. Just got back from an amazing 25th anniversary trip- rediscovered life as a couple without kids in tow, very fun and very good for the marriage ;). S handled first weeks of college pretty well, emailed us daily as instructed (these emails will be wonderful archived memories for his first days of college). It was good to just get a synopsis at the end of the day rather than the minute by minute “minutia” texts that I think might have occurred. </p>

<p>But now I’m back home and apparently leaving for a month does not eliminate empty nest blues, it just postpones the inevitable…reading back at how everyone has handled it though has been very therapeutic :). Anyway, just wanted to say hi to everyone and congratulate you all on your successful launches of your 2015’ers!</p>

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<p>Welcome back Yalemom15</p>

<p>Yes Irene did make move in hectic. </p>

<p>Sounds like your trip was fabulous! So glad it was so much fun. Now to face your kiddo’s room. I hear ya…my Dh calls it the “shrine” because it is perfectly orderly and exactly as kiddo left it. hahaha.</p>

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<p>“I hope that OP of the “upset” thread has someone in his/her life who can look 'em straight in the eye and give them the truth.”</p>

<p>I haven’t had patience with the nutty parents since boychild was in kindergarten and one of the other parents enrolled their son in art classes over Xmas break because the teacher had told her the son was having some trouble with coloring within the lines. </p>

<p>She was a flash card freak, too.</p>

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<p>Welcome back yalemom!! :)</p>

<p>What a wonderful trip. Happy belated anniversary!! I’m sure the empty nest blues will fade shortly. Funny thing about ourselves…no matter how we try to escape, there we are. :wink: Glad our tales were of help. :slight_smile: Parts would make a good book for an enterprising writer if we combined the old and new threads…how far we’ve come!!!</p>

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<p>Happy, happy belated birthday Arisamp!</p>

<p>L’shana tova to those who are celebrating…may it be a good, sweet year for everyone.
I haven’t posted for awhile but read when I can. Glad to hear about those who are thriving and hugs and well wishes for those who are still getting settled and hitting little bumps in the road…as soon as I’m done here, I have to go find the ‘very upset parent thread’ as I’m now incredibly curious and, of course, could use a good laugh :)</p>

<p>Last week-end was parents week-end and I went solo so dh could stay with D (hs 2014). Her school is so hard to get to (across the country AND rural) so I flew into Philadelphia and spent the night with D1 (college 2013) in her sorority house! Had a great time–she’s thriving, particularly now that all of her pre-med coursework (that she hated) is behind her and she’s taking only classes for her major now and loves them all. </p>

<p>Next day I made my way to D2’s school in the torrential rain…watched a car wipe out and do a 360, slamming into the guard rail. Called 911, shaken, continued on even more slowly. Trip took almost twice as long as expected and I missed D’s crew practice–freshman parents were invited to go out on a boat and watch the practice. Very disappointing as ‘walking on’ to the team has been one of the highlights for D and she’s loving the experience. Things picked up after that and D and I had a wonderful time. The school put on a very nice program with some good sessions and it was great to see D in her new environment. It’s clear the fit is a good one. D has made many ‘friends’ and always has someone to eat with, hang out with, etc. but she doesn’t feel like she’s necessarily found…‘true friends’ yet. All in all, for just one month at school, I couldn’t really be happier for her.</p>

<p>Came home and dh had surgery that he’d put off for over a year due to the long and painful recovery. Surgery was longer and more intense than expected and we’re 2 days post surgery and the dr was honest…very unpleasant and hard to see dh in so much pain. Will be happy in a few days when, hopefully, some of this will have abated.</p>

<p>Re: how schools handle the Jewish holidays…some professors have cancelled classes and neither of my girls feel comfortable missing classes so they’ll attend those that are being held. They will attend services with friends.</p>

<p>Oh, one last observation about D…truly kept a messy, messy (did I say messy?) room. One of the few things we ‘fought’ about over the years. Her RM is incredibly neat and my D now makes her bed every day, folds her clothes, put dirty clothes in her basket and doesn’t let things pile up. Truly a transformation that I never would have imagined. Will be interesting to see how she deals with her room at home over Thanksgiving!!</p>

<p>Off to find the upset parents thread…happy Thursday to all!</p>

3427

<p>Thanks for the wishes folks. I have to say I received the best gift ever yesterday from D. She mailed me a car decal and a sappy letter (distance does make the heart grow fonder!) - but also mailed me a DVD. She and S talked about it - S apparently told her how mom really would like to know all the tiny details about what she’s up to during the day etc - so she made a dvd for a week at college. Lots of footage hanging out with friends (all of whom wished this mom!), eating in the cafeteria, tired and headed to sleep at night, headed to practice, walking during the rain, and even some footage of her classes! Amazing, amazing to watch - sort of got rid of that disconnected feeling I’ve been having. </p>

<p>Lacrossemom - I completely understand. I am here to be supportive, to listen, sometimes offer suggestions - but she is the one who has to make the decisions and then act upon them. Thus far, I am the sounding board she uses when she’s stressed out - it is hard for me to take since I am upset long after the conversation, worrying about her, but it does help her.</p>

<p>blue - we’ve used skype chat a few times - it does help to see them. And we are using fantasy football as a connection too :slight_smile: All of us are in one league together and I got a message from her two weeks “I am kicking your butt” :)</p>

<p>Welcome back yalemom! Belated wishes for your anniversary! collage1 - sorry to hear about your H’s surgery. Hope the recovery is smooth.</p>

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<p>@arisamp - What a WONDERFUL DVD! I would so love to have one like that.</p>

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<p>@ arisamp - That is an amazing gift of love. WOW!!! Make sure at least two more copies are made and placed outside of your home in the event of loss or fire. That is something you don’t want to lose!!</p>

3430

<p>Hi guys,</p>

<p>Just catching up. Unfortunately my father has been very ill and who knows how it will go? I have been busy with parent stuff (as usual) and don’t have much to add about college things other than he changed his home today to Boston so I think he is going to make it!</p>

<p>I posted last that he was really struggling and as far as I know he still is but he must be working through it since he hasn’t felt it necessary to discuss anything with me since our last chat. </p>

<p>I hope to be able to stay in better touch with my buddies here.</p>

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<p>I hope you have better luck with that than we did. Room at school perfect, clean, neat…room at home…same old mess! I don’t get it.</p>

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<p>Last year at this time, I was mildly upset that my D’s HS didn’t rank, mostly because I suspected that she would be somewhere in the top 5. Having read through the upset parent thread, though, I’m REALLY glad they didn’t. I could just see several parents in my D’s class going through exactly the same thing, and I’m not sure I would not have been among them!</p>

<p>What a difference a year makes!</p>

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<p>Pepper - hugs! It could happen to any of us.</p>

<p>Saw a parent of a college sophomore last night. Out of the blue he’s telling me how his D had a really rough first fall, surprised everyone, just basic adjustment issues. Somehow a couple of months in, she had a breakthrough. She had a great second semester and couldn’t wait to go back this fall. </p>

<p>I’ve heard so many of these stories and always find them encouraging. I also was really humbled by his honesty. I can tell lots of parents think they’re supposed to say “Oh, s/he just LOVES school!” and feel relieved when we can admit there are ups and downs. I’m not going around saying it’s awful - because it’s not - but I’m casually remarking that it’s a big adjustment. I think we do the families coming up a favor by not perpetuating the myth that if you’re not blissfully happy - or doing perfectly academically - there’s something wrong with you.</p>

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<p>Our HS solved the problem this year by having 3 co-vals. That made everyone happy, not that anyone was complaining.</p>

<p>At the Convocation ceremony following freshmen move-in, the College President made the comment that the incoming 2015 class consisted of 1624 new students of which 791 were either 1st, 2nd or 3rd in their HS class. He went on to say that we guarantee all of you that 788 of you will not repeat this feat in 4 years. :D</p>

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<p>I read the very upset thread and laughed. I’ve been out of HS for 32 years now and I don’t recall ever being asked what my class rank was way back then. I’m sure when the li’l darlin’ applies to med school mom will have some complaint about how that process works, too. (She went to an<em>easier</em> school, etc. etc.)</p>

<p>I TG that my girls were in the upper quartile, but not high enough that being top 10 (or 1) was a possibility. It makes slacker mom so much more mellow :)</p>

<p>Watching the process of my 2nd D acclimatize to college vs how her sister did is something. #1d is a drama queen of the highest order (and a sensitive person, too), and is prone to mountains out of molehills. There were times when she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go back, but we reminded her that she made the commitment and it was up to her to make it work. Also, grades are especially important for transfers and hers wouldn’t get her into anyplace better than where she was. After many fits and starts, she stuck it out and is now enjoying her Jr year. She knows plenty of kids who transferred or quit and she feels she made the best decision.</p>

<h1>2D internalizes more and is more inclined to stick it out (complaining wildly during the process) than try to change courses mid-stream.</h1>

<p>When grad rates at many schools hover in the 60’s-70’s, you know that lots of kids don’t make it the first time. Some struggles are insurmountable, others not so much. We’re still parenting, but at a distance, and it’s hard to figure out sometimes where the line is. I’m hopeful that my girls will make it through, but if they don’t there’s still plenty of time for them.</p>

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<p>Emilybee - Isn’t it freeing to just say what you feel sometimes?
Pepper - I’m sorry to hear about your father’s health. Hugs to you.</p>

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<p>Yalemom15 - welcome back, happy 25th, welcome to the Empty Nest subset of our group. DS has a very close HS friend at Yale. She seems to be happy. I’ll get more info at Thanksgiving.</p>

<p>Chag sameach collage1. What a nightmare trip to PW. Glad you had a good time. I hope your DH recovers quickly from his surgery.</p>

<p>Arisamp - whaaaah!! I want one of those DVDs. Think I will “suggest” to DS that it will be a great holiday gift. He and his group can do it together, make copies and voila…gift for parents!</p>

<p>Pepper - hugs to you. So sorry you are dealing with more parent issues. They don’t seem to stop. How’s your mom? Glad DS seems to be better.</p>

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<p>Emmybet - Even the kids that seem to be adjusting well have their moments. I think my D is doing well but I get the “self doubt” texts when my D is under stress, over tired or when she can’t find someone to eat with. I really don’t hear from her otherwise…just an occasional FB update. But this is all part of the overall adjustment…for everyone.</p>

<p>Pepper - <em>HUGS</em> to you. I hope your father feels better.</p>

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<p>Hugs to you Pepper. I hope things work out with your father. As the saying goes, Getting old is not for Sissies.</p>

<p>Arisamp - What a fantastic birthday present! Your kids really did know what all of us Moms want! Unfortunately, I have a son who would never be so bold as to film himself or have friends film him doing just every day things. </p>

<p>I sent son a care package today of all kinds of food stuff, including homemade cookies. He thinks he’s lost 10 lbs and he really didn’t have that to lose so I thought some chocolate would help. </p>

<p>I also read the very upset parent thread, but couldn’t relate at all. We had no worries about the Val/Sal thing and I can’t even think who either was right now. I just remember that they didn’t give a very interesting speech at graduation.</p>

<p>Agree about passing on the news that freshman year is not all sunlight and roses but that that is okay too.</p>

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<p>Pepper, sorry to hear you are dealing now with your Dad. <hugs></hugs></p>

<p>Amanda, it depends. I have been known to suffer foot in mouth disease periodically - like the time I was playing mah jongg (not with my regular game) and the discussion got around to colleges. I mentioned how I had heard that the kids at X College hated it because they said there was nothing to do there and I didn’t know one woman’s son had just been accepted and it was his first choice. one of my friends started kicking me under the table so I tried to qualify my statement and only made matters worse. She left in tears. :(</p>

<p>I’ve stalled enough today and have to get going and pack for the weekend. I hate packing.</p>