<p>EmmyB and anialways-One year I was invited to a professor’s house for Thanksgiving dinner with other students who chose to stay at campus because finals were right after the holiday. And other times we had “potluck” for holiday meals among OOS and international students. It was a lot of fun and don’t remember being homesick.</p>
<p>Hi you guys are really sweet. Knowing my D I am pretty sure she will figure out a way to enjoy and I am sure there will be invites from gracious people like you all here. Thank you for your moral support. I have been meaning to tell you all how much being on this forum has helped initially preparing me mentally and later with various issues each one of us has had with our children. Okay not issues but the process of transition. I have not contributed much but have taken a lot from the discussions here. So once again thanks a ton to each one of you.</p>
<p>Blue - for you, I will write it down and pm you, and anyone else who wants a new recipe to try.</p>
<p>Anialways - I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to send your kid off across the world. Bravo to you for having that kind of composure!!</p>
<p>Pepper - I looked up the prof who berated my ds and found he is one of those “favorite” profs because at the end, he generously curves the entire class. So, there is at least an upside. Ds is also taking philosophy - and loves that class. Too bad he’s an engineering major, right?</p>
<p>Hi!</p>
<p>So, I thought I would share part of my tumultuous week wih my cybermates - out of the blue, D1 imploded last weekend. Until that point, there was no indication that she wasn’t transitioning well - if you looked at her FB pictures, you would think just the opposite. Well, I go the call at midnight last Fri night - she was hysterical. She was stranded in the middle of the city, her dorm mates had entered a party and she didn’t get in for what ever reason. She couldn’t find a cab, really didn’t know exactly where she was, and was scared because she wasn’t in exactly the best part of town. I can’t even begin to tell you what taking that phone call was like…while on the phone with me, she did eventually flag down a cab that returned her to her dorm safely. Issue 1 - panic in the face of adversity</p>
<p>The next afternoon she called us and asked to meet us for dinner - she had something to discuss. At dinner, she poured out her heart, I don’t think I like my major, I am spending 30 hours a week in the studio, and then I have my other 4 classes (19 credits required 1st term in her major), and it is really hard to have a social life in the city. The school has not held any type of events to bring kids together YET so they have had to look off campus if they want to move beyond dorm life. I say yet because it is a big hockey school and it starts next week - there are a number of events around that. Living in the city is proving to be more expensive than expected but she is also finding that it is difficult to connect with people because she is always in the studio…it is the nature of her program. </p>
<p>Issue 2 - D is a very social kid and is having a hard time socially for the first time in her life. I do expect this to change for she joined a sorority and that is just getting started as well as the outdoor club…except she has no time to be be outdoors! She claims she is not homesick, likes dorm living and she really doesn’t miss living at home.</p>
<p>Issue 3 - She has been able to manage her time and has come through the first round of exams in good shape but she isn’t sure she wants to spend her “entire life” in the studio. Her studio mates are all from outside the US and although they understand English, many are not speaking it regularly…so she feels a bit isolated in the place she has to spend most of her time.</p>
<p>Issue 4 - Unbeknownst to us, she put a transfer app in to Big State U for January transfer. Her rational for this knee jerk reaction is that she is floundering and she doesn’t want us to spend the money on a private school while she figures it out. I don’t know if I believe that…I think she is thinking that academics and social may be easier there. Both DH and I want her to stay the year to give it time. For God’s sake…it has only been a month.</p>
<p>As you can see I am aggravated with her and I used Pepper’s Frying Pan. A week has just about passed since her implosion…she seems to be back on track but who knows?</p>
<p>So Emmybet, you are not the only one hitting transition bumps, my D’s honeymoon lasted just about a month and now she is questioning every decision she has made. I also think her expectations about college did include the work but I think that she didn’t expect to feel so lonely…and she expected to have more fun.</p>
<p>Stay tuned.</p>
<p>EmmyBet, so happy to hear the good news about your D. Ive worried (speaking here as the mother of a toe dipper…) Sounds like shes in though and the water is fine!</p>
<p>Kinderny, love those dinner parties. S is in a building where the suites have full kitchens which seem to get a lot of use. He was invited to his first Rosh Hashanah celebration dinner and really enjoyed it.</p>
<p>Cartillege piercing no big deal on this side of the Atlantic where the PMs wife has a tattoo. D has two in one ear, and I think it looks pretty. For my 50th birthday, I was going to treat myself to one but was such a crybaby with the lobe piercing that I ended up just getting three of those. </p>
<p>FLmathmom- I know what you mean. Apparently one of Ss roommates has a girlfriend who stays over a lot but its not a problem. For one thing, she does a lot of cleaning…aargh! </p>
<p>I cannot believe next years housing options are already under discussion. I remember S October of senior year versus Spring what a difference. There was such phenomenal growth/development/change last year does that slow down this year? I remember who I was fall of freshman year and who I was in the Spring quite a difference.</p>
<p>Thanksgiving: the one thing I know absolutely is that Americans are the friendliest people in the world. If there is anyone who might not have a place to go for the holidays, s/he will be invited home by near strangers. That was my experience as an international student. That was Hs experience as a West Coast student at an East Coast university. We had to fend off invites from people we barely knew/ professors we would have been far too intimated by to dine with, etc etc. And this was at a uni which is definitely not known for being touchy-feely (Harvard). EmmyBet, your D will be invited somewhere great BUT all those students who are staying for the play may well decide to get together and do their own Thanksgiving. The above observation re Yanks, incidentally, is exactly what I told SamSon who will not be coming home for Thanksgiving. Hes on his own but I have full confidence hell be invited somewhere wonderful. For one thing, hes much nicer than I ever was (or indeed H…)</p>
<p>OH, MomofBoston got to your post and my heart turned over to think of that phone call. I can imagine how helpless you felt, just wanting to help your daughter. The positives though - how wonderful that your D turns to you/confides in you/ obviously values your advice.</p>
<p>Finally (and this has been a long post), I want to apologize if I seem out of sync. I do try to keep up but often cant write and then it all gets saved up and seems out of date, and I probably look like a jerk for not keeping up with birthdays etc. SO, just to say thank you to everyone this community means a lot to this UK/China-based sometimes poster…</p>
<p>momofboston – so sorry to hear about your daughter’s turmoil! I hope she will agree to stick it out for the year. Is her major architecture? (just guessing from all the time in the studio) That is a very tough major and it’s not for everyone – if it turns out that it’s not for her there are many other ways she can go with the foundation she is getting now.</p>
<p>Samuck - nice to hear from you again!</p>
<p>On a totally different topic, My DS’14 is currently in Honors Algebra II with trig. He has over 100% in the class and his teacher has suggested that he move up right now (a month in) to honors precalc. I asked for people’s opinions over on the HS class of 2014 thread and it seems like half of you are on that thread anyhow, but if you aren’t and you want to contribute an opinion or any thoughts, I’d be grateful to hear what you all think. I am worried about what math he’ll take senior year if he does this. (More details on the 2014 thread <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/13293837-post865.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/13293837-post865.html</a>).</p>
<p>Just a quick input into Turkey recipes. For the last two years, I’ve made two turkeys. One in the stand alone roaster that I buy brined from Trader Joe’s and another one that I do in the oven the fast, very hot way - [Awesome</a> High Heat Holiday Turkey Recipe - Food.com - 145046](<a href=“http://www.food.com/recipe/awesome-high-heat-holiday-turkey-145046]Awesome”>http://www.food.com/recipe/awesome-high-heat-holiday-turkey-145046) The one in the roasting pan really doesn’t brown up so we don’t display that one, just cut it up. The oven one is gorgeous and we show that one before cutting into it. Both taste very good! We usually have at least 18 or 19 people for dinner and it’s alot easier to make two smaller turkeys, and have leftovers, then to find a huge bird.</p>
<p>mathmomvt - I would vote that your son take pre-calc now…calc next year and AP Stats senior year…My D had a hard time with stats although she breezed through calc…go figure. And yes she is an architecture major…she knew it was going to be a killer.</p>
<p>Hugs to momofboston and her lovely daughter. I hope each day gets a little better. </p>
<p>I lived just over an hour away from my undergrad. Every Thanksgiving included some guests, very often cute Canadian hockey players (who seemed to all live in my dorm). It was fun to bring them to some local parties with my high school classmates. The nerdy, band girl had some handsome hunky young men with her ;)</p>
<p>Hi All</p>
<p>Lots of news.
Sorry to hear about variable plans for travel and turkey day.
Samuck and Anialways already posted what I was thinking about how the kids get together and for the holiday together–or head to other homes nearby. One year I did the cooking for turkey day–Made the bird, stuffing from scratch, potatos, veggies, pies etc etc…It was a great event and we all had fun.
The Int’l kids generally don’t fly home for those kinds of short breaks and being part of that kind of group as an American student --could be a really great event and an amazing way to connect with kids across the campus, professors etc…</p>
<p>Sorry to hear that some are finding the transition rough. </p>
<p>I agree MomofBoston that one cannot make those kids of decisions after one month. My folks had the 1 yr rule…it is true that even during the first semester things vary–and well into the second semester the adjustments are made. </p>
<p>On tickets–we have purchaed tickets for both the turkey day break and the Christmas break. Thanskgiving’s tickets were pricier than Christmas. We had considered flyng the family to spend the holiday in the northeast, visiting museums and so on…instead of flying kiddo home. Decided to not do that this year and may do that next year. Could be a fun “mini-vaca” for the family. We will see. We aren’t spednign the holiday with extended family so for us, it is flexible.</p>
<p>Not going to Parent’s weekend… 
so appreciate the countdown. :D</p>
<p>To those who are observing Yom Kippur and to those who are not - May you be inscribed in the Book of Life and may each and every day be a meaningful one. Easy fast to those fasting. “See” you again after havdallah.</p>
<p>Hugs to MOB. Your daughter’s program sounds very difficult. I would try to get her to stick it out for a year, and hold off on transfer thoughts until the spring. </p>
<p>Mathmomvt, if you’re sure that you son can handle the math jump easily, I would go ahead and have him take AP stat as a senior. Colleges all say that they want kids to take the most challenging courses available at their school.</p>
<p>Thanks for the holiday greeting. Wishing an easy fast to those who are fasting.</p>
<p>momofboston, I’m adding my hugs of commiseration. My S2 was on the BArch path, but a summer university arch program gave him a big dose of what the next 5 years would hold. Do I remember correctly–did your D also do a college program before senior year? </p>
<p>S2’s HS curriculum had been insanely rigorous and he realized (sudden burst of mature self-evaluation!): been there, done that. So he went another direction. (short note: that’s when this mom, having watched S2 visit his great list of arch schools, suddenly, fall of senior year, have no idea what major, what schools! Ack! I’m still having PTS over it!)</p>
<p>I mention all this because 1) I’m clearly having an arch flashback–sorry!, but 2) it is very clear your D is capable of sticking out such a demanding course of work. However, it is not “giving up” to question a program, a school, whatever, because evolution is also part of college “enlightenment,” as they search for their own joy. It may be your DD has found too few friend-types in her studio and who could anticipate that? OTOH, it sounds like she’s got great social skills (joined a sorority!) so added to her stress is worry that she might not have time to do much with them, either.</p>
<p>So sorry to read about any/all of the parents who have dealt with the phone calls in the night, and various meltdowns. It’s really hard to get these bombshells from the outside. There are so many other new-to-college, new-to-campus-living adjustments in these first weeks, how can we know what is a key issue that needs immediate reaction or just a little normal angst?</p>
<p>More hugs. Everyone!!</p>
<p>I wonder if he takes AP stat as a senior if he could/should also self-study for the Calc BC exam? It seems like that’s what “most” engineering students would be entering with, judging from S11’s experience with his classmates, and if I understand correctly, it’s not that much extra material on top of AB.</p>
<p>We’re having the opposite kinds of calls at our house - kid is very casual, our reaction is less so. (Working on that.) Two nights before college drop-off, he and I spent the evening in the emergency room so he could get checked for concussion. He was fine. Then five days after he was at college, I got a call while he was walking to the off-campus urgent care; he had a sprained wrist, campus didn’t have x-ray equipment, he wanted to know if he was still on our insurance. Then this week, after updating us on how classes were going, he casually mentioned that he had been diagnosed with mono the week before but he was already getting better. And by the way, thanks for mailing his basketball to him; he was happy to have it. He seems very relaxed, and we are trying to match his approach - with mixed results.</p>
<p>Hi Mathmomvt! I’m putting in my 2cents on your math question on the Parents of HS '14 thread. (why does my IPad let me add 2, 2£, or 2¥, but not 2 [cents symbol]?</p>
<p>Momofboston - Oh you poor thing!!! I can’t imagine that kind of phone call… It has only been about a month, we have to keep reminding ourselves of that. And remind them too. Ds has 18 credits and I don’t see how he could’ve been able to add another credit. That seems really harsh, like setting them up to burn out? Hugs to you and your dd.</p>
<p>Gracious - I would be upset at both Momofboston’s call and Calreader’s! So very different in content and amount of need asked of parents but both so complex in terms of response. This whole having kiddo away - whether near or far - is just hard.<br>
I wish everyone a relaxing weekend - and hope everyone has a day off on Monday!</p>
<p>MathMomVt, I don’t know what’s in an AP Statistics course. If it is hypothesis testing and confidence intervals and things like that, I’d opt to do that after knowing more math so advice would be to take BC calculus in his senior year. Introductory stats focusing on things like hypothesis testing would likely just be formulaic at that level (e.g., memorize formulas and plug them in). If it is data analysis (exploratory data analysis, regression, etc.), that would probably be worth taking. </p>
<p>Statistics is, in my opinion, one of the most useful things to study because, properly understood, it provides the logic for decision-making under uncertainty and for making sense of the myriad “studies” that are reported in the newspaper. A biotech CEO friend of mine with two PhDs from MIT (no dummy this guy) said no one ever told him that he should study statistics and yet, he says that almost all of his key decisions are guided by statistics. However, it is often taught in a formulaic way that is relatively useless.</p>