<p>MomofBoston, we had the less panicked version (a surprising but somewhat thoughtful desire to transfer from biology to nursing) without the angst (at least I didn’t hear the angst). But, it is early days to be unclear about the major. It is not early days to be unhappy with going to school in a city. I’m sure she will make the best of it if she stays in the city, but the dynamic in city schools is quite different from residential campuses in the middle of no place and it doesn’t work for everyone.</p>
<p>**46 days to Thanksgiving break **</p>
<p>(Based on kids touching down at home on the Wednesday before TG. Some kids may get the full week and will land at home sooner.)</p>
<p>Thank you for all of the supportive words. D has some nice options if she can’t come home for Thanksgiving; right now we’re just talking about if she possibly can get home at any time between now and the end of the semester (which is late, 12/22). It’s so hard to know what is right - I used to be a hard line “stick it out” type, but I also know sometimes it’s really important to be able to get those needs met. Hopefully she’ll find out more about what her options really are.</p>
<p>MOB - I am really feeling for you and your D. The combination of the atmosphere/location and the program both not feeling right is a pretty big deal. I am impressed that your D was able to put things together to work on a quick transfer; I think that takes a lot of strength and organization. I also admire her not wanting to spend money she doesn’t think is worth it.</p>
<p>But this question of how to know what is transition and what is truly not a good fit is very hard. I’m inclined to agree that a kid who is feeling locked into a program should be given the chance to pull back and do some exploring. I also agree that certain extreme location (or other) attributes of colleges can really point to a transfer. Yet only you know your D and how she usually deals with things, how her emotional reactions often flow. I know with my D we have been watching very closely to see if her discomfort(s) have been just her own way of digesting the various challenges, or if it is her learning that she is fundamentally not where she should be or doing the wrong program after all. </p>
<p>Someone on the “transitions” thread said something about there being 3 elements to life in college: academic, social and, in that case, sports, but we could extrapolate to extracurricular in general (which could include location). I think they made a good point that if one of those isn’t so great, it’s possible to adjust, but if two or more really feel wrong, maybe the school isn’t a good fit. Again, hard to know after a month. I do know kids who have made mid-year transfers and been much relieved: often they went to a school where they were trying out an extreme program and found it wasn’t what they wanted at all, or where they were experimenting with an unknown social/living style that they found made them profoundly uncomfortable. It is possible your D is in this situation. She also might find a leave of absence or a semester away from this school a way to clear her head and find out what she really wants. </p>
<p>I think social fit, or smaller, multiple but manageable problems to solve might be better addressed by a transfer after one year, but I am glad most transfer application deadlines for the fall are later, like in March. That gives the kids a chance for the often much improved second semester experience. I’m surmising if my D were to think about transfer, she’d be in this category, and my guess is she won’t transfer after all - but we’re open to it.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>MathMomVt - it sounds like you have two questions - should your son switch classes even tho he missed a month of precalc and if he takes precalc, what will he do senior year?</p>
<p>This year - if his teacher thinks he can handle precalc and his Algebra2 grades support that, I think he should go for it if he is a math kid. IMO math kids do better when they are challenged. Maybe he can talk to the precalc teacher and take a look at their work for the past month to feel more confident. </p>
<p>Senior year - AP Stats is a great option as others have mentioned as is Calc BC. There may be Community college or online options too. Maybe his school has a computer class they count as math. AP Comp Sci was a math class at DS school.</p>
<p>MOB - It is hard to offer suggestions without knowing your DD aw well as you do. How much of what she is saying is about adjustments, transitions or true wrong fit re: school, location or major. Can you/she go back a year and try to reconstruct why you/she thought school, location and major were right? Has anything changed other than reality meeting illusion (allusion)? Surely there are counselors, upperclass students she can discuss this with. What is at the state U that she is seeking?</p>
<p>EB - one of the key reasons my son chose his college was that he was invited to a student created seder while we visited during his HS Spring Break junior year. He said he found his home. His college is open during T’giving. About one third of the kids stay. They have no classes for a week. He is coming home Sunday and returning Friday. He misses the worst (and most $$) holiday flights and will have free time in the dorms and at home. Best of all worlds.</p>
<p>^ FLMM</p>
<p>Like your students school, I believe our student’s school has open dorms during the turkey day break…I suspect the kids enjoy the break from classes and the free time to kick back…Our student will stay for part and be home for part as the Harvard yale game is the weekend prior and there are fun social options after…we get a few days in the middle ;)</p>
<p>Evening check - slow posting day - back to page 1</p>
<p>Good morning everyone</p>
<p>**45 days to Thanksgiving break **</p>
<p>(Based on kids touching down at home on the Wednesday before TG. Some kids may get the full week and will land at home sooner.)</p>
<p>Good morning all,</p>
<p>Sunday brunch buffet is open help yourselves :)</p>
<p>Great recaps and advises from everyone.</p>
<p>Emmy~Last year S1 brought home International students for Tday. I am sure if your D does no come home , she will have options.
This year, because of the costs and the shortness of Tday break, Dh and I are actually visiting our sons. Looking forward to spending Tday together as a mini-holiday down South:)</p>
<p>MOB~My heart goes out to you and D. I give a lot of credit to your D for attacking the situation face on, and identifying what makes her unhappy. A transfer is not the end of the world, however it sounds to me that the program is what makes her unhappy not the school. 
Some of the “passions” kids had in HS did not translate into their college lives.College is about exploring the things that were not available to them before, and this is ok! I think she feels trapped in the studio, when other things are going on that she would like to explore.</p>
<p>S2 is home and we are loving having him.
We took him for a nice steak dinner on Friday night The tavern we go to was full of returning students proudly wearing their college hoodies, I wish I could have taken a pic.
After feeding the beast we had a nice family night.
He has settled very nicely into his college life. Classes are going well, he made the final cut for a top position in a sought after club on campus, had his first piece published last week, met unbelievably “smart and interesting people”, and concluded by saying it is so much more than I ever expected it to be :)</p>
<p>Over dinner, S2 had asked if we could go visit his BF who had a big competition (also a D1 athlete).So yesterday, we drove 4 hours up to Mass to see him compete…went out for dinner afterwards and listen to the two of them exchanging stories.Got back home late last night, but was so worth it :)</p>
<p>S2 is still sleeping. He mentioned going shopping for shorts and shirts, and having dinner in Princeton with a Frosh/Friend. A lot of of our family friends want to see him as well!!Urgh this is too short of a visit:) Lets see what today brings!</p>
<p>Have a great Sunday everyone 
</p>
<p>Report from my girls last night is that they had a great dinner, saw a great show, and made it back on the train to their hotel. No word yet this morning, but I’m guessing they’re having a good talk and heading back to the city for more food and fun.</p>
<p>D1 will camp out in the dorm tonight and leave in the morning for DC. She has a holiday tomorrow. D2 doesn’t, so it’s back to school for her. I haven’t heard if she’s found out anything new or different about Thanksgiving; I imagine I will at some point today or tomorrow. We’re leaving them alone - they’re big girls, and they’re together. They’ll let us know if they have any questions or problems.</p>
<p>Best wishes to you all.</p>
<p>Yum, brunch. </p>
<p>MOB, your daughter sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders so my advice would be to let her sort it out and make whatever decisions need to be made. I roomed with an Arch grad student and never saw her. The life of an Arch student is apparently 24/7 in their studios and it’s definitely not for everyone. </p>
<p>Emmy, yay for your girls having a fun weekend in the city. And the weather is perfect!
I would think you haven’t heard anything today because they are probably still sleeping!</p>
<p>2Ed, glad you are enjoying having your DS home for a few days. Mine is coming home on the 18th for 5 days. Very much looking forward to it.</p>
<p>The visit home with D is going well. Her friend fits in seamlessly and they are enjoying going around seeing the small village where D grew up, visiting puppies at the beagling kennel, and eating- OMG the eating. The evening was filled with chatting (and H and I were definitely included for a large part of it) and DVDs of a favorite TV show. Today is “hunting” (beagles tracking rabbit scents) for the girls, and then tomorrow they are off the NYC (the friend’s first visit there). Altogether the trip has been just the right amount of togetherness and separate activities. I kinda wish Family Weekend at college was not next week, and we didn’t have non-refundable reservations at a B&B for it. But I am sure we will have fun at what will probably be the height of leaf peeping season in that area. Cheers to all. Happy Sunday.</p>
<p>Glad to hear all the visits are going so well!</p>
<p>2Ed–so happy to hear S2 is in love with his school and doing well. I’m sure you are enjoying seeing him–wave to my DS when you are in Pton. They have school tomorrow and he spent all day Saturday with ROTC training, so we never had a thought for seeing him this weekend. </p>
<p>No worries–family weekend is next weekend. The bike saga continues. He got flats right away. Evidently the tires were somewhat rotted (it has sat in the garage for eons). DH thought they were ok, but guess not. So I bought him new tires and mailed them. They were the wrong size–evidently I misunderstood the bike store signage when I picked them up. So it’s back to buy more tires. luckily next weekend is parent weekend, and he says he’s able to ride on the old tires, which I thought he wasn’t able to do. We should have the bike all fixed up just in time for snow! :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Hope everyone is enjoying the long weekend. DS2 went to a fall festival to twist balloons and raked in the $$. He made more in 5 hours than DS1 made in 20 over the summer! Hmm, I know who the entrepreneur in the family is!!! He had a blast!</p>
<p>H just called D and found out that she has an off campus job at a pizza place. She is still in training. I still can’t quite figure out why there are no work study jobs on campus. She qualified for $3000 in work study. Why wouldn’t the library or something want a kid like that where the federal government pays half the pay check?</p>
<p>Oh, well. I just hope she doesn’t quite get the 20 hours a week she asked for. She is taking 19 hours and is on the rowing team.</p>
<p>bajamm, I have heard that a lot of places – that there are not enough work study jobs for the kids who qualify. Even if the federal government pays half, it’s not free. In schools where there aren’t enough work study jobs, I don’t think there are “full pay” jobs in the libraries that could have been work study jobs, there just aren’t enough on-campus jobs period. 
Glad your daughter found something off-campus and hope she get a reasonable schedule going.</p>
<p>Hi All</p>
<p>On work study–looked into the opportunities for kiddo who was offered work-study as part of the “aid” and there is nothing available for enough hours when our student is available…
with a full class schedule and team commitment–it leaves few hours in the week…Truly it would be only a couple of hours a week. Really isn’t a viable option for varsity athletes who are STEM majors.</p>
<p>Spoke with kiddo and still waiting on the mid term grades. First one back is fine and there are more grades to come.</p>
<p>Will be sending our first care package in the next week especailly since we aren’t seeing eachotehr for Parents weekend etc etc. No trips home til turkey day either. One small item from kiddos room requested and so will fill the box with other things, snacks and such. Worth it with a flat rate box shipping label.</p>
<p>Hope everyone has had a nice weekend.</p>
<p>I talked to my son tonight. He’s having a good weekend and it was nice to hear that in his voice. Yesterday he did a car wash to raise money for the lost children in Darfur. Today he went to his friends farm where they again fed him. He called me from there where he said he was sitting outside and could see a million stars, even with the full moon, so I went outside to sit on my back step and look at the same moon. I think he’s settling in.</p>
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<p>I wonder if you could take that info back to the financial aid office and ask for an increase in another type of aid to cover the gap that that leaves? If it’s impossible for your student to take a work study job, then being offered work study as part of the package is not really meaningful or helpful! Probably not since they almost always say that the work study part is not guaranteed and up to the student to find the job etc. but in a case where the kiddo got the entire list an nothing is doable… </p>
<p>kathiep - glad you had a nice chat with your DS</p>
<p>I had a couple of nice IM chats with my DS as well. His classes are going well and he seems happy. He has no homework this weekend and 2 days off, so he’s got some time to relax for the first time since classes started :)</p>
<p>S2 is home for 4 days for fall break. It is wonderful to have him home – even for a little while. I thought at one point that he might not want to come home, but decided that as a freshman he might be ready for a break, so I bought the plane ticket. As the break got closer, I asked him if he would have preferred to stay on campus. No! He said he needed a break – from the shared bathroom, from the roommate who is turning out to be less than ideal, from the campus itself. So, now he’s home. S1 came home for 1 1/2 days to see him…so we had all 6 of us under one roof. Loved that! The first night I just sat back and listened and smiled – my 3 boys were tripping over themselves to talk. DD who couldn’t get a word in edgewise. The chatter, the laughter, the teasing. Catching up, some fantasy football smack talk – it was all good. Yesterday I organized an impromptu picnic with 2 other moms whose sons are home on fall break. It was a “bring what you have in your fridge or pantry” event. No trips to the store allowed! We ended up with ribs, london broil, and hot dogs. Lots of desserts, a little short on vegetables. Yummy food and it was great fun to have our college guys hang out with the adults to share their college experiences. </p>
<p>As it turns out, fall break is not much of a break for some of them. One of the young men had 3 papers to write before he heads back on Tuesday. One was due last night at 7 PM and another at midnight. S2 has only one paper to write, but calc and organic chemistry work as well. Ah well, he’ll get down to business today while the rest of us resume our regular routines.</p>
<p>What fun it’s been!</p>
<p>**44 days to Thanksgiving break **</p>
<p>(Based on kids touching down at home on the Wednesday before TG. Some kids may get the full week and will land at home sooner.)</p>
<p>
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<p>Ohhhh…this brings a tear to my eye. I love it.</p>