<p>Momofboston - Yeah for your dd for thinking simple with a twist - and good validation to her that her studiomates might not be “all that”! You know, if she loves it, she’s going to stay there and tough it out and if she doesn’t, that’s ok too. I’m just glad she’s got the wind back in her sails!</p>
<p>It’s great that MOB’s and Emmbet’s D’s got validation for thinking outside the box.</p>
<p>I just had a nice talk with my D, who is back at school. She said that she’s happy to be back because “I like it here ,” but that it was really nice to come home and see family and friends.</p>
<p>So I guess the moral of my story is always wait till the next day to worry when D3 is having a bad day. Today the phone call was, I think I am going to stay here for the weekend and get to know some more people! She has always been my social butterfly and has made lots of friends but feels like she hasn’t neccessarily found a BF type of friend. We chatted for about an hour and a lot of her “stress” seems to have gone away. I think she is like a lot of kids where she was a big fish in a little pond and now she is swimming in the ocean with a whole lot of big fish. So I guess I may have to wait till Thanksgiving to see her!<br>
To all the parents seeing their kids this weekend, enjoy!</p>
<p>yay EB- I am not surprised that your d’s project was out of the box! good for her!</p>
<p>I just popped in to keep in touch-are we talking about engineering internships for college freshmen? Where and how? Or upper class men? Thks</p>
<p>MOB, yay to your D recovering her balance! I always need to be reminded that a difficult/panicky phone call home is often just the venting of big feelings, but the crisis so often resolves as the days pass. I suspect most new freshmen feel the need to prove themselves–and until some grades, critiques, feedback come in, many may freak. After such validation on her project, etc, she’s likely feeling much reassured.</p>
<p>The stories some of you honestly are sharing here about the issues that crop up really do help all of us as we must cope with what comes. Who knows who will get the next worried phone call or text?</p>
<p>S2 came home last weekend for a quick visit as his school does not have a fall break, but he has no classes on Mondays. For a guy with a lot on his plate lately, he seems remarkably relaxed and really happy. But midterms are upon him and we’ll see how it all pans out. I’m happy when I read about some of your kids who have aced tests, reassured somehow that if they can keep up, so can mine. But… here is where my anxiety kicks in a little. </p>
<p>Let us know how the midterms are going out there.</p>
<p>madbean - my ds is an anxious test-taker which often manifests in less than stellar grades which he compensates for good grades on papers and projects, presentations. So…chem 77, calc 80 and that he said is good since the avg for both was a D+/C-. Problem here is that tests make up the majority of the grade so…we will see how this all pans out. He knows that 3.0 is required to keep his scholarship and if he loses it, he is back with us and State U.</p>
<p>I’m glad to know kids out there acing tests but I know that wouldn’t be my ds. C’est la vie.</p>
<p>^^ I have an anxious test taker, too, so I hear ya. Has there been curving of his tests, AK? My S’s HS did not curve any tests, so I’m not sure how to factor that in.</p>
<p>D called on Sunday night panicking over midterms. We spent about an hour talking: she was feeling that she had spent too much time in the first weeks of school on social things (rushing acapella, meeting people, etc.) and, even though she has gone to all her classes and done all her work, that she should have done more. In HS she did nothing but school, sports, and studying, so that’s her comfort zone. It took a while to convince her that she has been doing exactly the right thing and that, if exams go badly, that may be an indication that she should study something different next semester. She’s taking exactly the same course load as she did in fall of senior year, and while that is knocking down a bunch of prerequisites and distribution requirements, it is not exploring the new diversity of options open to her. First exam is tonight, another one tomorrow. I’m hoping that once the first set of assessments is under her belt, she’ll have a better sense of how to balance her time between classes and everything else, and relax a little. It’s hard to hear her crying long distance. Even though I love the fact that she is still opening up to us when she needs support…</p>
<p>Highhead, Sounds like we are getting similar phone calls from our D’s, sorry yours is stressing. Hopefully midterms will go well and this weekend will be more relaxing for her. My D is the opposite in that she feels like she hasn’t found the EC that “fits” her and that she has spent more time in the books than being social. Not her normal MO (Part of the reason she has decided not to come home, doesn’t have a lot of work this weekend, figures she better be social!) As for EC’s hasn’t found a “fit”, says it seems like everyone has something they are great at and she is more of a general all rounder! Told her to give it time. I agree the tears kill you but generally I find that its always brighter a day or two later.</p>
<p>Hope that things calm down this weekend for her and that you are getting your empty house organized, when you are done feel free to come visit me and continue, I have lots to keep you busy!!!</p>
<p>High Head and EAO…</p>
<p>I think the freshman BBQ on Old Campus and the Safety Dance are coming up…</p>
<p>ahh mid terms…I hear ya… ;)</p>
<p>MoB, so cool to hear about your D’s “simple with a twist” success! It sounds like a daunting process and she came through with flying colors.</p>
<p>HighHead and EAO, hard to hear tears, for sure, but it’s wonderful that your kids share those kind of concerns with you. I still regret keeping my worries about school from my parents when I was in college; looking back, I see that I didn’t have to shoulder my whole burden if only I’d opened up. Hindsight is 20/20.</p>
<p>CHS2011Mom, So agree that its better to open up and glad that she shares her concerns. I will say however that I tend to stress about my kids stress more than I think is normal and I have started to learn (hindsight) that its often not as bad as they are making it out to be. So many times I will get a tearful call (I have 3 in college) and I will spend the evening worrying only to get a call the next day saying, “Oh that, it all worked out, I am good”. This is from my 2 daughters in college, my son is the opposite, everything is good even when it is not and he has gotten himself into situations that could have been solved if he had just shared them with us. So you are right its best to share worries-even if I do lose sleep!</p>
<p>Fogfog, what is the safety dance? High Head did your daughter end up doing DS?</p>
<p>Safety Dance
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<p>Think this music genre…
<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7movKfyTBII&ob=av2e[/url]”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7movKfyTBII&ob=av2e</a></p>
<p>Freshman BBQ</p>
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</p>
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<p>^Well, at least it’s after the last nasty week of midterms/papers etc… the timing of it must be intentional! Son’s suite mate (athlete) has just been diagnosed with mono, poor kid. I hope it doesn’t run through the suite. Son’s surviving this first onslaught of pressure well, fortunately had some college classes in h.s. to prepare him for these heavily weighted tests and papers. He’s been burning the midnight oil however, keeping fingers and toes crossed that he stays healthy…</p>
<p>D is all about sharing the funny or the frustrations, but not so much when she screws up. She did share when circumstances made it awkward not to do so, that she “screwed up a paper” last week- partially her fault, partially not. But I just patted her and said well, hopefully you learned how not to have this happen again next time. I was so proud of myself. </p>
<p>She asked the prof about redoing it (after having a chance to work with the writing center) but did not hear back. It’s not like she is not going to get credit for the class- and as a first year this has to be not uncommon, so I am grateful the issue came up early enough in the semester for her to learn/recover.</p>
<p>After hearing about the pressures and stress of midterms and papers, I’m so thankful for Olin’s approach. The students take 4 classes first semester P/F. They are encouraged to develop a ‘passionate pursuit’, explore ECs, institute good nutrition habits and exercise routines and improve their teamwork skills. They seem to be monitored fairly closely to be sure they start off strong. There is a lot of relationship building along with the strong academics. The focus is on learning, not on the grades (at least not yet). I am looking forward to seeing my DS this weekend at Family Weekend. Please order up some warm, dry weather in Boston for this thin blooded Floridian.</p>
<p>On a different note, thank goodness for the imminent release of Gilad Shalit after five years as a POW.</p>
<p>FlMathMom, a first semester P/F is a great idea. The weather has been fabulous this week in Boston. Let’s hope for a continuation.</p>
<p>kinderny, clarifying expectations for papers is really a good idea, especially in a small school environment where it is perhaps more easily workable. ShawSon learned in HS to talk with his teachers about their specific expectations for papers (because of his dyslexia, he always wanted to make sure that he was aiming properly because the cost of poor aiming was high). He has continued that in college. He will sometimes outline the idea and then meet with the professor or just schedule the meeting. But, he always goes in extremely well-prepared for those meetings with ideas, etc. He hasn’t gotten less than an A- (usually above) on any paper as far as I know (and the median is definitely below A-) and typically better and part of it comes from ensuring that he’s responding to their interests. In some cases, his initial proposal has been different from what they want and they have endorsed it and in other cases have had him modify. When he can, he will show them a draft version. In several instances, the professor had asked for an X page paper and ShawSon was clearly developing a very good idea that would take more than X pages and in each instance, the professor said, “Don’t worry about the page limit. Just clarify these sections and further develop this one” or something similar. He’ll typically follow that up with an email to summarize, especially if they’ve authorized a departure from the original assignment.</p>
<p>I never did any of this when I was in college but have been very impressed by the level of preparation for these meetings. I think the professors do not mind the conversations because he’s put in a fair bit of thought in advance. And, in terms of both grades and satisfaction, he’s happier (higher grades and license to write things different that what they originally asked). Since your D goes to a small school as well, it might be a habit worth cultivating. Incidentally, has she run into ShawSon’s friend?</p>
<p>She did meet with the TA on the paper, and had all the proper research- but a last minute, 3 hour, mandatory presence at an event for another class interfered with the paper completion. She got it done, but not to her standards. She knows about the steps she can take to get help, and was not looking for advice from me; only disclosed because she needed something at the last minute and unloaded about the optional evening event that had just been made mandatory. She knows how she can do better and was embarassed because she ended up with “drivel”. Hampshire doesn’t have grades, just end of semester evals to get credit for a class so there is not too much harm done. It could be, as this is a first year class, the prof will give all those who want it a chance to resubmit. As I said, I am actually glad it happened so soon to reinforce some time management/writing planning skills. </p>
<p>She has not run into ShawS’ friend. She works in the library (Wed evenings and every other Sat) and could do so there, but other than that has mostly first years in her classes.</p>
<p>shawbridge - love that suggestion about writing papers. No different from a work assignment where one would go to boss for clarify, reinforcement after initially outlining a plan. Will be passing along this wisdom. Thanks for sharing.</p>