<p>FlMathMom, exactly like work. Interestingly, though, this approach doesn’t always work. </p>
<p>He went to a professor in her first year to ask about the first test, which for some reason was going to be about a list of vocabulary words (this was not a language class). He asked what she wanted. She said, you need to define it but you don’t need to do X (give examples or something). So, he gets the test back with points taken off for a few words and the definition he has given is the definition in the text, verbatim. She says, you didn’t do X. He went in and said, “Wait, you told me explicitly that you didn’t want me to do X. I’d like you to adjust the grade.” She says, “I agree that that is what I said, but I’ve graded other people the same way so I can’t alter it for you.” ShawSon was frustrated, but just made sure to blow her out of the water with his papers and the final and got an A+ for the course.</p>
<p>With the paper, he got approval to alter the topic and confirmed it with her in writing and she actually emailed back applauding his instinct to get this in writing.</p>
<p>Shawbridge and Kinder: It sounds like your kids are right on track to be meeting with the professors re: feedback and expectations. We have always preached that, too.</p>
<p>@EAO: No, D is not doing/ never was going to do DS. Her favorite thing about going to college is that she never has to take a literature class again as long as she lives. It goes against all my instincts (I would have been standing in line for DS!), but she is going to wind up somewhere in the social or hard sciences. It’s just a pity that all of her midterms are in this last week.</p>
<p>HighHead, we’re working on getting our freshman ShawD on the same track as she is often reticent to talk with instructors and also often over-confident about how well she knows what the instructor wants. It is touchy to use her older brother as an example, even though most college students would probably raise their grades by following his practices.</p>
<p>She did let me know last night that she got a 94 on her first Chem lab to go along with a 93 and an 86 on quizzes in other courses. Grading is much tougher in Canada for some reason (most people are in the 80’s and even 70’s) and many fewer A or A- equivalent grades given so a 94 is a high score. After congratulating her, I asked her if she’d looked at what caused the TA to take off 6 points and she said she hadn’t looked. I explained that she might discover what the person was looking for and so she could do still better by not doing the “penalized” things in the next lab. She might also discover something she doesn’t understand. She started to look and realized that she’d lost 1 point for not putting a title on a graph (easily fixable next time) but didn’t understand some of the other deductions. On her own, she said, “The TA is nice. I’ll go in and ask him to explain why I lost some of these points.” [Thank heavens for small victories. Unfortunately, she might have resisted meeting if she didn’t think the TA was nice.] ShawSon always reviews tests/papers to see what he missed and what he can learn from it. Similar genes but really different people.</p>
<p>Shawbridge - Everything happens for a reason. That was a somewhat painless lesson (altho probably not at the time). He has obviously learned the important art of covering his tuchas (?). It may take a little longer in the short-run to do this, but it pays off in the long-term espec as one’s memory fades (who moi??). I just had similar situations with my financial planner and my contractor (two different people!!). I always document the action steps to be taken after our meetings. More than once this has come in handy when they forget (?) to do something.</p>
<p>Our elder student will ask the questions, learn and make adjustments…
Our younger student…ah…wish it were true. Giftings are just in different areas…</p>
<p>DS’s school (Reed) de-emphasizes grades; students can find out what they’ve earned only by asking the professor. They receive incredible amounts of feedback - esp on papers - but no grade. They want the kids to take intellectual risks and to concentrate on process. I think the approach takes some of the tension out of a place where kids work very hard and tend to be intense w/o any help from outside.<br>
At DS request, we agreed before he left not to ask about grades and must say removing that from conversation has been relaxing esp after 4 years in a hard-driving high school. Doesn’t mean I don’t care - I do, and sometimes I wonder if he’s doing all that he can and earning what he “should” and/or is capable of - esp since we are paying the bill! Just keeping my mouth shut unless he says something, which he hasn’t.<br>
I think for us also DS is 2000 miles away and we won’t see him for another 6 weeks (thanks again for countdown AvonDad!) so I don’t want to get into anything on the phone.</p>
<p>Sounds like your students are doing what it takes to do their best! Great skills being learned! Shawbridge–thanks for some great tips, I think my DS2 can use them! DS1 tends to be the type not to question stuff as much, but he can get by that way, DS2 cannot.</p>
<p>Just for a blast from the past I’ll throw out there that DS2 (a HS freshman) took the PSAT today. Aren’t you glad that’s past history for most of you! (I know there are others with HS students, so we can commiserate together!) He’s not a good test taker, so I’m not expecting much. We’ll see. </p>
<p>Two more days till parent weekend for us. It will be good to see DS1 and talk in person–we don’t get all the news via texts and such. He seems to be doing great, but I’d like to hear how he’s doing outside of classes–hopefully he’s finding time for fun. I purchased plastic pumpkins for him and his roomies and will fill them with candy and some homemade cookies. Hopefully they won’t think I’m totally wacky. I think it will be fun!</p>
<p>How is the allowance/spending going for your freshman??</p>
<p>Ours is spending almost nothing! YAY!!
One haircut.
Laundrey weekly.
I think other than the initial textbooks and essential varsity team gear…
there has been no outside regular eating off campus. Very very conscientious.</p>
<p>VAMom - yep, got my jr. dd1 who took PSATs this morning. Seems like before you catch your breath, you’re back reading all the insiders guides, college p r o w l e r reviews and top colleges for xyz.</p>
<p>fogfog, spending is very light here as well. ShawSon is over our predicted spend (which has essentially been 0 for two years). His freshman year, he spent something like $700 (the whole year) out of pocket for a fourth meal each day. But, he has a car whose insurance, gas and repairs we pay for. He went out to dinner twice (dates?) and appears to have bought some healthy food. </p>
<p>ShawD has spent more (makeup purchased online, toiletries, jewelry purchased online for $30, laundry and bus tickets), but she’s got no car. She’s a healthy spender (there will be clothes and shoes that NEED to be purchased and makeup that comes at a very low price and can’t be passed up) but doesn’t appear to have time. She’s way under my estimate/budget for her (I took the advice of people here to set a monthly clothes/makeup/incidentals budget and she’s way below it). </p>
<p>Plus, I see a few charges I can’t identify. Grand total $30.</p>
<p>Our younger student too the PSAT today as well. </p>
<p>Though really until after this year we won’t have much of an idea on what direction to look in…
So far our younger kiddo is open to most parts of the US, all sizes, shapes and locales because like most kids this age, hs no idea what to study, where to study it and what size/type of U will be a match/fit.</p>
<p>This will be a different journey that the one with elder kiddo.
I “think” that smaller will be better; either a smaller state school or smaller private. Though I could be really wrong because what I thought elder kiddo would like (and on paper looked good) was crossed off the list and different schools came on…</p>
<p>Shawbridge…well then I guess our student is about where to expect the spending to be…
DH did see one charge at a local eatery–usually kiddo charges about $6…and that has been only 2 maybe 3 times…
This time it was in the $30 range…so we wonder if kiddo bought for a group and was “getting paid back”…DH is going to have the “I don’t mind bank rolling YOUR meals kiddo–yet not the teams…” talk and I want to be sure kiddo follows up and gets paid back… :D</p>
<p>Other parents have told me their kids are burning through flex dollars at an incredible rate.</p>
<p>VAmom and Amandakayak my 9th grade D took the PSAT’s today, the school makes everyone take it. She said it went ok.
Fogfog, My D has been blowing through the money. Called me yesterday to ask me to transfer some more of her money from home account. She had to pay for a conference 100 dollars and some books for classes but I think Starbucks has been a big contributor to the draining of the bank account! Its her money we will pay for books and conference but the rest is hers. She made quite a bit of money selling some of her paintings from her IB Art Exhibit but I hate to see her blow it on Latte’s!
Midterms have been intense and seemed to be bunched up in a very small time frame, glad they will be over this week.<br>
Rainy Day here in Maryland, hope everyone’s kids stay happy and healthy!
Cheers!</p>
<p>^^ Haha EAO…the Starbucks is across the street from their dorm…and i think there are several independent eateries/coffee shops in the vicinity.</p>
<p>I didn’t realize she was selling her IB art exhibit work. I really liked alot of it. Is any of it still around or did she sell it before you got backto this side of the pond?</p>
<p>My d is not spending much money at all. there is a near by grocery store where she buys laundry detergent, snack food, stationary products etc. Other than the occasional pizza…not much money being spent. She also decided not to keep her car there, so no gas money (and we got a reduction on its insurance cost since she is considered “away”). Almost makes up for the fact that she still hasn’t gotten a job!</p>
<p>Boychild not spending much though he had to buy cold weather sailing gear and a life-vest so I deposited an extra $200 in his account parent’s weekend. I have no idea if the kids who live in the houses collect money from everyone at parties or not. I assume most do but probably nothing that would break the bank.</p>
<p>My DS has not spent much either, but he has always been frugal, so we are not surprised. We have not offered an allowance, so he is spending his own savings from his summer job. If he ends up spending a lot of money on groceries (he’s on a 14-meal plan, so buying breakfast food on his own) we’ll help him with that.</p>
<p>I had an email from DS that it was getting cold in Ashland and the windows in his dorm weren’t well-insulated. I bought him an extra blanket and some waffle-weave long-sleeved shirts and packed them up (along with his knit cap, which had gone missing when we packed, and some warm socks as a bonus) and tucked some goodies from Trader Joe’s in there, too, and DH sent the box off parcel post yesterday. </p>
<p>Today I got home to find the ghost-written letter “from” the housing director telling me that “Two students showed up to get their care packages. One beamed when she received her package. The other, whose family had not reserved a package, immediately used her cell phone and called Mom with a plaintive ‘You didn’t send me a care package?’” Oh, actually, make that “Care Package,” with capital letters, because I am that bad a mother for not ordering a Care Package. Ha! Too late, Care Package company! Just in the nick of time! You can’t make me feel guilty!</p>
<p>D1 isn’t spending much money either, but did call last night to transfer money to her checking account so that she can pay the next installment for the chorus trip to Prague that will occur during Spring break.</p>
<p>She hosted 2 HS girls for a college sponsored overnight on Sunday. There was an Open House for HS students and their parents on Monday. She said that she does not envy all of those kids and their parents going through the whole college process. “I am so glad it is over and I love my school.”</p>