<p>District next to mine has had the flipped schedule for years. Boychild had to be at school by 7 every day for band and we had to drive him 15 miles to get him there every morning until Sr. yr. when he could drive himself. I do not miss this. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, back from Maine but the 10 hours in the car ruined all the good work I did in yoga class last night. But my nest in full for a few days, so it was worth it. :)</p>
<p>Boychild had two midterms, Monday and today (his first Blue Book exam ever!) Said they were very hard but he thinks he did Ok. He had an essay due by midnight tonight so spent the 5 hours in the car writing it. Got me thinking how much easier college would have been if there were computers way back when. </p>
<p>HollieSue, lol about watching from the sidelines. As for boy #1, he has no future here, we’ll move on. ;)</p>
<p>Weighing in on the start of school times … our district adjusted the start time for the high school two years ago in response to the studies regarding teenagers needing more sleep…but they only adjusted the time by 20 minutes, so I don’t think it was all that helpful. Now they start at 7:30 versus 7:10 AM. I guess every little bit helps. After school activities/practices end between 5:30 and 6:00, but on nights when there are away games, S3 (‘14) will get on the bus at 3:30 and not return home until 10 PM if the game is far away. That’s because, in our district, they will only send one bus for away games, so the varsity and jv teams ride together and attend each others’ games. And that means that no one starts homework until after 10 PM when they get home from the game. I’ve said my piece to administration regarding the fact that they are student athletes and the student part should come first…and that means that maybe they should send two buses to the games so that the players have time to do their homework/studying. Administration feels that they can’t afford to do that. S3’s team is in the playoffs now, and while I hope they do well, I’ll also be glad to get him on a better schedule when it’s all over. He’s dead tired in the mornings and I can’t blame him. His winter sport is not nearly as demanding, so it will be a relief.</p>
<p>Ouch Ohio Mom, It really is amazing the things we ask today’s youth to do. When I see the amount of time that kids put into school and all their EC’s its a wonder they find time to have any life at all. My biggest Pet Peeve about school sports is the intensity with which they practice and play and the amount of time. The majority of kids will not receive scholarships or play professionally yet the amount of time they are expected to contribute to said sport is generally (in our area at least) 2 to 3 hours a day 6 days a week plus games (2 per week for most sports). My 3 older children went to an international High School Overseas where practices were limited to MAX 3 times per week. At first this frustrated me but then I realized how sensible it was. Kids still had games but they had more time for studies and other activities if they wanted to join. We moved here this summer (back to my hometown) after being overseas for 9 years and what a shocker. If you haven’t been playing sports since you were 3 forget making any high school team and the competition among the parents is just weird! Luckily my youngest D now in 9th grade has decided that sailing is her sport, they only practice 3 days a week from 3:30 to 6:30 and generally have an all day regatta on the weekend. The regattas are filled with a bunch of downtime and the kids all bring their homework and snacks etc and study, chat socialize. A great compromise to this CRAZY American schedule thing we do. I have attached a link to a great article from Dean of Admissions at Harvard, William Fitzsimmons called Burn Out or Time Out for the Next Generation</p>
<p>Off for my second cup of coffee, got nothing done yesterday so I need to motivate this morning…we will see how that goes. Taking a Gap year from Life!</p>
<p>My freshman daughter plays on a fall team that also sends only one bus due to budget issues. They are not required to stay for each teams games though so we have worked out a system where enough parents are at an away game to take the kids home who want to leave. Of course Ohio may be just a little bit bigger than RI! </p>
<p>Now that she was pulled up to varsity though she has to be at both since she is a swing player and it is a very long day. I was sad when she first told me she wasn’t going to continue her winter sport any longer but now I think she knows best. You really need to not only be good at a sport but you have to really love it to play HS and perhaps beyond.</p>
<p>So I had lunch with my son yesterday! He needed a phone replacement and since my sister and BIL had already made plans to take him to lunch I tagged along with a care package-a little unusual-my phone (has a keyboard), saline nasal spray (nosebleeds are starting up), tissues, deodorant and contact lenses solution. Other than the phone all these items I would think are readily available in a city but oh well-I was heading up there anyway! My sister said when we were heading up why didn’t we think to make him cookies or brownies? I never would have thought of that-being challenged in the kitchen like I am.</p>
<p>He is looking good and his mood was excellent. I got more info from that lunch than I have since he left-including the grade info (calc teacher wants average grade to be a 75!), papers are tough but he is working hard, etc. He also talked about the community service he is required to do-going into a tough section of town and working with MS kids in an after school math program-he is enjoying that a lot and is going to continue it past the required time) and the social things he has been doing-and he is managing to find things to do even though the school doesn’t schedule much-although he told us about this Husky Hunt-a 24 hour scavenger hunt organized by team all over the city that is coming up in a few weeks which is something I would like to do!</p>
<p>There have been bumps for sure like it seems most of us have experienced but overall he is happy-at least for now! :)</p>
<p>Interesting article, EAO. The sailing team sounds like a great option for your D.</p>
<p>HS sports can really be gruelling. My D2 played field hockey for 2 years but decided to stop because she felt that it wasn’t worth the time commitment. She liked the sport, but hated the daily fall practices and didn’t want to play year round. Other parents thought that my H and I were crazy to let her quit, but we felt that it was her decision. Amazingly enough, she still got into college!</p>
<p>It’s a lot different when a kid loves the sport and enjoys practice. My D1 was on a competitive gymnastics team throughout HS, and loved the year round practices. The gym was her second home and she developed great time management skills from the experience.</p>
<p>Pepper: I’m glad to hear that you had a nice lunch and your son is doing well. Of course it’s always easier for Mom to run around and do the shopping!</p>
<p>In high school, S1 left the house by 6:15…drove 35-40 minutes to school to make it in time for concert band at 7:00, which was held before the official bell schedule began at 8:00. He didn’t get home again until after sports/practices were over… usually around 7:00 p.m. He would eat…and then go upstairs to study. I have no idea what time he went to bed. Some mornings I would have to blast him out of bed, he was so exhausted. </p>
<p>I think he has early (9:00 a.m.) classes on M, W, F this year… but he gets to sleep in a little later on Tu/Th… maybe until 9:00, before a 9:30 class.</p>
<p>D1 is a HS senior this year. She gets up religiously at 5:30 each day to shower, get dressed and eat breakfast and is on the road by 7:00 with a Jr. neighbor girl for their 45 minute commute to school. They alternate weeks of driving, which is nice. I believe classes begin for her at 8:00. </p>
<p>This is the first year she is not playing field hockey …but in prior years the team bus wouldn’t pull into the school parking lot after certain away games (varsity/JV rode together) until 9:30 p.m… and THEN she had the 45 minute ride home. It was brutal.</p>
<p>My 6th grade twins get themselves up at 6:20, get their own breakfast…sometimes shower… before we head out at 7:15. Their school day starts at 7:30… and I pick them up in the afternoon at 2:20. They get just over 2 hours to unwind, do homework and eat, before football practice begins at 4:45. Life is still pretty carefree for them :)</p>
<p>EAO: Love the limits the International high school placed on sports! You’re right, the vast majority of high school athletes will not receive scholarships – let alone play professionally. A better balance would be nice. </p>
<p>Pepper: Wish we could work out some arrangement to allow players to ride with parents, but it is a big deal at our high school to get excused from riding the bus. Must be requested at least 3 days in advance, must be approved by the coach and the athletic director and must be in order to attend another “school function”. (Though I have heard of some who have gotten permission for non-school functions.) This is really one of my pet peeves.</p>
<p>EAO, my son sails on his college club team and it is as relaxed as the sound of your daughters HS team. For instance, they all decided to bag the regattas last weekend because most of the kids had midterms on Monday & Tuesday.</p>
<p>Momjr, Agree if its your child’s passion then by all means whatever it takes. I even believe that most kids enjoy playing sports (and other EC’s) , the friendships they make and I think its good to have some physical excercise. I just don’t like the 5-6 day a week all consuming schedules and the fact that if you haven’t been playing for years then frankly you just can’t make the team! This is just my perspective from coming back to US after 9 years of not being in it.<br>
For the most part I just think that this obsession in our society leads to a imbalance in our lives, sitting down for family meals, summer vacations doing nothing but hanging out, trying something new for the first time, discovering new hobbies etc. Our kids have one childhood and sometime I feel like its so filled with activities that they don’t have the opportunity to just be kids sometimes.
And its a vicious cycle, you have to do these things to get into college so we continue the madness…when my international friends hear about the EC push and sports schedule, they are just incredulous!</p>
<p>EAO- Great article, I couldn’t agree more- sounds like they have a much more reasonable approach on the other side of the pond. I have so many friends whose kids spent countless hours in h.s. on a sport only to have it either voluntarily or involuntarily removed from their post high school lives. It seems like the Return on Time Invested is pretty bleak for many kids. I wonder what they could have done during all those hours if they could magically have them back again?</p>
<p>Also, you posted about going to your DH’s reunion. My DH’s 25th (grad. school) reunion is coming up and I’m not going to that, I prefer to stick pins in my eyeballs!! . Both of us have had reunions over the years that we go to solo (or actually with other friends in the class we are still in touch with), just wondering if the people on this forum tend to go with spouses to reunions? I guess there are pluses and minuses to both options. I will say that at my 30th h.s. there were a lot of bored looking spouses hanging around ( this juxtaposed with the startlingly well-preserved recent divorcees!- boy those guys and girls are still looking good- we decided they must be putting in a lot of effort!)</p>
<p>Also, my lights are in! They look great, I replaced some awful ceiling cans with some single drop down colored glass pendant lights, so pretty! Last night the soft light was such a contrast from those nasty cans :)</p>
<p>I was a 3-season athlete in HS but certainly not in today’s atmosphere of intense competitiveness (in the springs I had time to play AND coach youth teams). I loved intramural and club sports in college - all for the fun of it.</p>
<p>I had a very interesting conversation yesterday with a college music professor who is looking at how and why kids continue music as non-majors in college, and then how they might continue to have music in their lives after they graduate. It is sad that something that could bring such joy to their lives gets squeezed out either by time pressures, too much competition, or just plain not knowing how or where to find the opportunities. In many ways - the same idea as with sports. </p>
<p>In my opinion, the whole idea is to have healthy, enjoyable activities in one’s life, right? Why do we make it so hard, especially on ourselves?</p>
<p>Got some very happy texts from D yesterday, and lots of new “friends” are appearing on her FB. I’m really looking forward to seeing her Friday - we’ll do fun things and have some good talks, too.</p>
<p>It’s interesting about music in non-music majors lives. Maybe this fits in stupid reasons why your student crossed a school off the list, but D eliminated Ithaca College because as a non-music major she would not have access to practice rooms. She loves music, but hasn’t pursued it at college yet. That may be because she has an American Bluegrass culture/writing/music class that fulfills the need (or takes up so much time she can’t find time for the out of class activities that her peers are involved in.) </p>
<p>As for general college news, D is healthy, and happy, and believes she made the right choice last spring so we are satisfied too. Current plans for the next time to see her would be Thanksgiving, but I am not holding my breath. Thinking that she will decide this is too many weekends at campus, but willing to go along with whatever she decides. I am definitely not pining for her company yet.</p>
<p>Yalemom15, I wouldn’t dream of going to my husband’s 30 year High School reunion although he wants me to go, but I don’t want him to go to mine (ha ha) so I am trying to set a precedent! I didn’t know him in high school so I wouldn’t know any of his friends, I think he will have a better time solo. As for mine, we live in my hometown so he knows a lot of my high school friends as my husband said "Open house at the High School was like going to your HS Reunion. After being away for 20 years, it was fun to see people and have people come up and say, Are you…? So good to see you…some yes some not so good!
As far as his college, He went to a Service Academy and I am a “townie” who went to college 90 miles away and came home a lot on weekends because all my friends wanted to meet the guys at this school! While we dated we had a big group of friends that all hung out on weekends. I also introduced a few of his friends to their wives so its a bit of a different reunion. They are having a huge tailgater at the football game and a big formal dinner the night before. Since we have just moved back to this town we can still attend to our normal stuff. Only thing I am skipping is the Golf tournament.</p>
<p>Emmybet,Glad your D is doing well! You are right on with the music as well. My daughter played flute for years and hasn’t touched it since she got to college, makes me said but frankly think she was burnt out! At youngest D’s High School the band has had some tumultuous times and currently has a new band director. She is being really flexible, the kids have it as a class and practice is after school but kids like my D who do other things have the flexibility to do both because without these kids involved in both there would be no band. Doesn’t make for a “great Band” but right now its nice because if she wasn’t flexible, guarantee band would be dropped by my D and I am glad she has the opportunity to do both and not have to choose.</p>
<p>EAO-How fun that after all those years abroad you have returned to your hometown, that must be wonderful! Have a great weekend catching up with friends :)</p>
<p>S1 was very into music in h.s. and brought a keyboard with him to college to “blow off steam” when studying became too intense. But when he was home for the summer our piano in the living room went pretty much untouched which made me sad. My brother was in several bands in high school and now at 40+ he sometimes gets together with like-minded friends and they have informal jam sessions. They don’t sound especially great but they have a ton of fun. I guess at least the rudimentary skills remain to be picked up later if the desire is there.</p>
<p>pepper - great to hear that you had a fun lunch with S. </p>
<p>At our high school, sports schedules were brutal. D was a three season athlete - she loved the whole deal - the practices, traveling to games, the pasta dinners before big games etc. But it was a huge huge time sink. She did learn incredible time management skills from this though - she was most efficient in completing her homework/projects on time. One big drawback in my mind - she did this and community service stuff, but never got a chance to try other clubs, other interests. Coming out of 8th grade, she was very into tech crew for the theatre guild - but she could not pursue that in high school.</p>
<p>We went to a couple of open houses with S this past weekend. Looking at private high schools for him - thinking being that he would thrive and do way better at a smaller school. We sort of know what we can get at the public high school thanks to D’s experience - trying to see if there is a better fit elsewhere for him.</p>
<p>I dropped D off at the airport last night after her 4-day Fall Break. It went by so quickly! We all enjoyed our time together tremendously. The down side is that we had gotten a little used to it just being the two of us (her brother and me) and having her home reminded us of how nice it was to have her around, and I’m feeling like I’ve taken a couple of steps back in the adjustment process. It was worth it though. She appreciated the private bedroom/bathroom and home-cooked meals (she has really good cafeteria food, but it’s still cafeteria food) and I enjoyed fussing over her a little. She is relaxed and happy, really enjoying her classes and classmates (“there aren’t any slackers, mom!”), her dorm and a few fun outside of class activities. So it’s all good. And only five more weeksk until she’s home for Thanksgiving!</p>
<p>Being a huge fan of balance I couldn’t agree more about the time requirements of EC’s.</p>
<p>I think there are genuinely kids who are so passionate about what they love to do that they want to spend the time and effort doing as much as they possibly can.</p>
<p>I also think there are a lot of kids who would rather not keep up the brutal pace they do but have no choice-I know this to be true because as I have said before on here I work with lots of teenagers and they seem to enjoy talking to me and I have learned from those experiences when I need to back off and let my kids decide how they want to spend their time. I like to think they will spend it productively but if I am honest with how I spend my time there is a lot of it that isn’t spent “productively”-but really were we all meant to be productive and focused every second of our lives?</p>
<p>A wise woman told me many years ago-when I was far more intense than I am today and always felt I had to be doing something or I was wasting time and being lazy-she told me that sometimes doing “nothing” is doing something-something very important-just taking some time to recharge, rest, whatever you want to call it.</p>
<p>I think all of us need downtime-the pace of life today is insane to me.</p>
<p>Like Momjr, I had an athlete (gymnastics) with a 20 hr/wk schedule from the time she was 7 until 13. Now as a hs frosh, she has no interest in doing anything athletic ever ever again. Everyone else in this family are non-athletic clutzes. I cannot imagine how an AP/Honors-type jr./sr. could handle both academic and athletic commitments. But…I do miss having that “that’s my dd!” moments. </p>
<p>As far as non-music continuing on, ds took 2 saxes to college - one is the basic one which he’s had since 5th grade which is good for marching band because in the rain/sleet/snow, it won’t fall apart. The good sax (price of a good used car) hasn’t been touched since he got there but he decided to do concert band in the spring. I am hoping he is able to feed his music interests (apart from attending concerts downtown) and not lose the skill he spent years attaining. Having music opportunities for non-majors was a big big part of the research we did to make his list of colleges after all! But I remember from my own experience, that once I was not required to practice (by my mom or private lesson teacher), I didn’t want to touch it at all. Being that I went to a college which had a conservatory, I could’ve learned alot even as a non-major. Oh well.</p>
Thinking that she will decide this is too many weekends at campus, but willing to go along with whatever she decides. I am definitely not pining for her company yet.</p>