<p>Oh my! I was away for a couple of days visiting S2 at Parents Weekend and am just getting caught up on everyone’s weather issues. In northern Ohio, we get a lot of snow – lovely lake effect snow – but I’m happy to say that this one missed us completely. Hoping for clear roads, power, and minimal damage for all affected! What a crazy weather year this has been!</p>
<p>LeftyLou – My son is living with a major slob. He had mentioned the messiness a couple of times but I got to see it in person this weekend. How to describe it…the roommate’s side of the room looked as if the place had been RANSACKED! All of the drawers were open with stuff hanging out of them, the floor and every flat surface covered with stuff…and not just papers and clothing. Garbage, too. Apple cores just tossed on the floor or the desk or the bed, where ever they landed. Empty yogurt containers (un-rinsed, of course) littering the desk and floor. I can tell that it really bothers my son, but he is reluctant to make waves. Says that the roommate is a nice kid, but doesn’t even seem to have a clue that he should clean up after himself. I bit my tongue – it was hard – and merely suggested that S2 talk to the roommate about the mess or that he might find a way to subtly involve the RA. He said that he has asked the roommate to clean up some of the mess and roommate had promised to clean up his side of the room before Parents’ Weekend but it didn’t happen. No inspections, though it seems as though their room could use one! </p>
<p>Another roommate issue – I noticed that when we came and went from S2’s dorm room that he didn’t lock the door. I know that this varies from school to school, so I asked if this is what most people did. He rolled his eyes and said that , no, most lock their doors when they aren’t around, but the roommate has lost his room key (not for the first time) and can’t get in if S2 locks the door. I (in my mean mom way) suggested that if S2 locked the door that roommate might be more inspired to get a replacement key, but again, S2 doesn’t want to make waves, so is accommodating the roommate. I expressed concern about the expensive computer and gadgetry that might be at risk. S2 says that he worries about that, too, so he carries most of the stuff (computer, iPod, etc) with him when he leaves the room if it’s feasible. I think he needs to involve the RA but know that he needs to tackle this himself. We ordered a computer lock w/ cable via Amazon, so maybe that will give him some peace of mind. Sigh. I do wish he’d just speak up a little more loudly. It’s gonna be a long year for him this way.</p>
<p>My daughter and her roommate do not lock their doors either, but from what I can see, the whole hall just leaves their doors open. There have not been any reports of theft, etc, but I do find the behavior a bit strange.</p>
<p>My older son goes to a school where they never lock their doors. In fact, one year, when he was returning to the school in January, he couldn’t figure out why his key wouldn’t open the door. Seems he had never even used it. He had the wrong key for the entire first semester, but didn’t know it. He only used it in January because his roommate had locked the door (as per school policy) when he left for break and my son was the first one back so the door was still locked. So, I know that there are schools where the doors are never locked, but S2 goes to a larger school and my son and the roommate seem to be out of step with what others in the dorm are doing.</p>
<p>Oh, and I think you all would be proud of my ability to resist the urge to put the old rotting apples and yogurt containers in the garbage. It was hard for me, but I walked away.</p>
<p>Ohiomom: Wow! I don’t think I could have left that garbage on the floor. Your son’s in a tough situation. I’d worry about not locking the door also.</p>
<p>Hi everyone - I hope the snow has melted and the trees are salvageable. D1 in MD says they had some slush; D2 in LI/NYC said it was sloppy but OK, no power outages. They went into the city Saturday, so I guess she won’t have too many qualms when winter is here for real (most of our trips to NYC have been in bad weather, anyway).</p>
<p>We had a very nice weekend here - so much for snowy Wisconsin!</p>
<p>H and I went to Chicago overnight, are finally feeling like empty nesters. But really very soon we’ll have the kids back, at least for some visits. AvonDad, I really appreciate your countdowns. It does help me keep things in perspective. 3 weeks from tomorrow and D2 will have completed the very difficult 3-month boot camp of college adjustment. She is doing fine lately, very busy, having some fun, too. </p>
<p>D is extremely messy by nature but from what I saw she is keeping it fairly respectful. Of course when I was in her room a week ago I saw what could easily have been cleaned up with 5 minutes’ work, but I held back. Nothing seemed at danger levels, and she seems to care, was apologetic. As for locking things - I do think they lock the suite and rooms when they’re not there, but I’m deciding not to worry about that. Probably if I were to think too much about this subject I’d worry more about her physical safety rather than her belongings - but again, I’m not going there. I’ll just trust in the general security of the area, her common sense, and the law of averages.</p>
<p>ohiomom - So sorry for the messy roommate woes! You showed great restraint. I can handle clutter in young people, garbage would be a whole other matter! You must be very frustrated on behalf of your son!!</p>
<p>EAO - Wow, that must be difficult emotionally to know your DD is homesick. I agree with momjr. After the visit to the new home at Thanksgiving she will feel much better. It is a lot of transition at once. Hugs to both of you!</p>
<p>So D, provocative as always, posts the following on Facebook: “Just got kicked out of college.” Really glad my mom is not friends with her on Facebook.</p>
<p>We are fine- got maybe 5 inches and no/very few tree limbs down in our neck of the woods. But D’s campus was hit hard by the snow: many, many tree limbs down. In fact the whole Pioneer Valley’s power is not expected to be restored until Wed. To make it worse, the emergency generator for one of the frosh dorms blew up, meaning no power for the dining hall as well as the dorm (which means no emergency lighting or fire alarm system). So D called in the cavalry (H and me) by 11 am. AT&T’s cell tower was down so she had to borrow cell phones because her calls would not go through reliably; we kept on getting calls from random numbers on our caller i.d. She asked to come home (of course we said yes), but each time she called back there was one more kid added to the mix. We picked up D and her friends, and a couple of “orphans” who she had not met before but were friends of friends, and now we are having a college slumber party for 8. We provided the sleeping bags and sleeping pads that we had and thank goodness some had thought to bring their own sleeping bags. The kids started sleeping in the upstairs den and downstairs library but over time, most everyone migrated downstairs to socialize away from where H and I sleep. D fell asleep early on the floor in the den, as did one of the guys, and about 1 am she realized most of the other kids had migrated downstairs and no one else was sleeping in the one bed so she crawled in it. So 2 kids upstairs and the rest of the kids (6) downstairs all in one room? I don’t get it, but I don’t care. They all slept in their clothes so it’s not like anything untoward was going on. </p>
<p>The only tricky part will be feeding the horde. Two are lacto-ovo vegetarian (no problems) but the two vegans are tricky. Turns out the frozen squash risotto and mushroom risotto I planned on using both have slight amounts of dairy in them. :eek: I figured something out for lunch, but it was not easy.</p>
<p>EAO: I feel for your D. We are planning to move in the next cople of years (need to finish up some work on the house first) and our D is already freaking out. It doesn’t help that we have been here all her life, so she doesn’t know anything else.</p>
<p>Homesickness seems to have been a theme @Family Weekend. D said that after we left her on Saturday night, her suite all sat up talking about how much worse they were feeling with parents in town (whether or not their own families were there). I’m thinking that it would be healthier to leave them alone until Thanksgiving so they’re not getting jerked back and forth between college and home until they are truly settled. This is not to say that kids shouldn’t come home if they want to, or that parents shouldn’t visit, but I am starting to think it’s counterproductive to have an official visiting weekend if that just makes the kids take a step backward in their adjustment.</p>
<p>EAO hugs to you and DD… at least she and you realize this is homesickness and that she’d be having it no matter where she is right now…Your new place looked great from pics so I think the idea of sending her pics or skying with her a tour of the house might be fun. Thanksgiving is coming quickly. Is she staying for the Y-H game?</p>
<p>Kinder–YOU are a champ. How fun to have so many ther and how great your DD felt comfortable tapping you and your DH for help–you and she will be remembered for this and it will be a “great memory” of freshman year.</p>
<p>Kiddo had a sports event this weekend–yes–even with snow. Did exceedingly well…<br>
Because we knew about this event last winter…we didn’t go to Parent’s weekend… I was wondering if our student would mind or not that we weren’t there. Was glad to hear from other CC parents who saw kiddo (gave hugs for me) that all seems well.</p>
<p>
Kinder–you are better than me…assuming preferences (not allergies) and given the weather/shopping etc etc
I’d be saying…here it is…eat it or wait until the next meal. My kids are expected to eat whats offerred (again–assuming not life threatening allergies etc)</p>
<p>With a little prodding, ShawD told us that she and a girl with a single down the hall who is good friends with ShawD’s not-so-nice-to-her roommate are trying to figure out if they can switch rooms. Sounds like a very sensible approach to a bad situation. Apparently, the university does not make this easy. If the university does not approve it formally, I wonder if the best thing would be to suggest that they do it informally and if there is a cost differential, we pay the difference to the girl down the hall / her parents.</p>
<p>The empty nest life is still going well. Invited over to dinner a couple whose two daughters went to school with and were friends with ShawSon and ShawD (both sets of parents were hoping that their older daughter and ShawSon would become involved but I don’t think ShawSon was ready for a girlfriend at the time). Anyway, their D2 also went to Canada and also has been struck by the tough grading standards. We mentioned this to ShawD who said, “You know. I’ve done well on every test but one.”</p>
<p>We have power and phone/internet and heat. We had been invited over for dinner last night to a friend in another town (that frequently loses power because they don’t trim trees for esthetic reasons) but moved it to a second family’s house where they had all but phone/internet. The husband’s daughter/ex-wife came over because they had lost power (a few towns over). And, this morning, we have friends from a third town doing stuff (working?) in our house because they don’t have power. </p>
<p>ShawSon’s campus was shut down for the afternoon. Although power was restored last night, the campus is close and classes have been canceled for today. Not sure why.</p>
<p>kinderny, I suggested yesterday morning to ShawSon that he come home (with friends, if he wanted) but he said he wanted to stay and had lots of work to do. Not sure how he was going to do that in the dark, but OK.</p>
<p>All the posts about parents weekends in the snow are making me feel better about not being able to be at D1’s parents weekend. ohiomom, I worry that there’ll be apple cores and worse when we eventually see D1’s room. I shall steel myself to walk by it all. </p>
<p>D1 got “adopted” by a good friend’s parents, and was taken out to a very nice dinner. The parents are both alums, and I’m sure that it was an absolute pleasure for them to be able to come full circle and play host. Lucky all of you who get the pleasure of doing this. </p>
<p>We’re actually seeing D1 next weekend, hopefully sans snow! She was grumbling a little about how we didn’t have her buy winter clothing earlier. I know she has enough to manage in snow, since she had gear that’s warm enough and waterproof enough to manage…but that’s different than having the big official eastern winter coat and boots. :)</p>
<p>Just uploaded D in full Halloween regalia to shutterfly site. You can’t see the wings, but she is “not a Wanded Fairy, but a dark Never Fairy”. She was most disappointed that her contemporaries did not get the reference (because it was not in the movies).</p>
<p>kinderny, I’d be afraid to see ShawD in Halloween regalia. She said she went to a store and picked up a costume for a devil (made for a 7 year old) and wore it with stockings and high heels. This is something a father should not see. Fortunately, she wore a coat when she was outside.</p>
<p>Kinder - You are such a generous soul to take in all those orphans!! Glad you didn’t have much damage, was thinking you might have been hit hard. </p>
<p>Here school is closed, most of the town including the school are without power still (since Sat. night) including my Dad so we are hosting. Lots of dd1s friends are hanging at McD’s all day for the heat, food and wifi (so they can do their homework!) or coming over to recharge their phones. We really are very lucky for having power and heat, it’s chilly at night. </p>
<p>Ohiomom - Good for you for leaving the mess where it lies. It must’ve been hard! My dd1 will be one that will drive a roommate nuts, she has a desk barricaded by piles and stacks of books and papers. Her closet houses a massive pile of clothes and empty shelves. Her desk is lined with juice boxes, glasses half full, empty wrappers and detris. I cleaned upstairs the other day and couldn’t take it anymore, it took 2 hrs to straighten her room, and just 2 min. to do the same for OCD dd2. Hope she lands a single when it’s her time to go off to college.</p>
<p>Ds had a great time in Toronto but didn’t see a smidgen of any band on TV! Heard them though a bit here and there. I think they got back around 3 am this am, wonder if he got to his chem class at 9 am :)</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear about some of these really difficult roommate situations; however, I feel that they are perfect opportunities for personal growth. One of the most common reasons for marital and employer - employee discord is poor communication. Most people list discussing a problem honestly with someone right up there with public speaking and going to the dentist. Avoiding discussing a problem solves nothing. IMO it would be better for our kids to learn how to discuss their differences in a productive way so they can both be happier. Perhaps you can help them by role - playing with them. This will give them more confidence. Each time they resolve an interpersonal situation successfully their confidence in this skill will increase.</p>
<p>Hi - no power here since Sat night. I am at a local Panera working and keeping warm…they are saying we won’t have power until Wednesday! Yikes…lot’s up with thatrees are down…however my roses are still in bloom…what’s up with that?</p>
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Lucky all of you who get the pleasure of doing this. </p>