<p>Polar Plus/Fleece Sheets rock. We have been using them instead of flannel for a few years now. </p>
<p>Dropped S off at the airport for his return trip to school. H has been booking all the flights back and forth and I think we are done with Airtran. All the extra fees kill any good price they offer. Because he is 6’3" we pay extra so S gets an exit row and aisle seat, we paid extra for his bag and then got hit with a surcharge because his bag was 8lbs over 50. H was with S when he checked in because last time, Airtran tried to charge S 2X for his bag. I asked H why he didn’t just pull something out of S’s bag to get it under the 50lbs, but he didn’t have an answer. I know the extra weight is not Airtrans fault, but we had already paid extra for enough stuff, imo.</p>
<p>S has to meet with a special advisor sometime this week because of his academic probation. I asked him to do it today and not wait. I am not buying him expensive books for classes he may or may not be allowed to take. I plan on calling him this morning to “remind” him to do this. </p>
<p>No idea when S is coming home again. He is thinking of staying at school for Easter and we aren’t sure what we are doing for spring break. I probably sent S packages of stuff every other week last semester. Easy to do with Amazon prime. I have already ordered him some of his favorite bevarage and a carton of snacks to be delivered today. We sent him cookies and goodies from home a few times and also had cupcakes and treats delivered from places local to him. He rooms with a local boy who goes home at least every other weekend so I feel badly if S doesn’t get something from us on a regualr basis.</p>
<p>Good Morning all, I actually have tried to post several times this weekend, only to hit the post quick reply and be told that I am no longer logged in. I lose the whole post, very frustrating does this happen to anyone else? This time I will copy before I try to send in case it happens again.</p>
<p>Fogfog is correct, My D got her passport renewed at her local post office at college and it was back in 3 weeks!</p>
<p>Everyone is back at school, work etc and I am enjoying one free day before my Father in law comes back for an extended visit. He needs surgery for a minor hernia but needs our support (or should I say mine as I am the only Daughter in Law with “nothing to do”.) My MIL died last year and he doesn’t know what he wants to do. Lives someplace in winter and another in summer but thinks he wants to live up by us/with us in the winter. My husband wants to support him and I have agreed but I really feel like he would be better off getting a small apartment nearby so that he "gets a life’ and meets some friends etc.
Not only that but I feel like this is my time to get on with my life and figure out what I want to do with my life not exchange taking care of my kids to taking care of parents! Selfish I know! UGH!</p>
<p>D3 is back at school having a good time and Senior D is back early working on her Senior Thesis and applying for jobs, wants to go to grad school but will work for a year or two first. </p>
<p>Mamamm and all you other parents with kids with bad grades, take heart. My son is currently on “sabbatical” has finished sophomore year but got really bad grades second semester sophomore year and it was suggested that he take a year off. So he is on his year off, working at a Marina pumping gas and cleaning boats. The school will let him come back next year as long as he works full time for at least 6 months. Although tough at first it has really been a year of growth and he has been able to reevaluate a lot of things. Think when we look back years from now he will realize that it actually was a good thing. SO moral of the story, it happens but it isn’t always the disaster that it seems to be. Some kids need the wake up call to figure it all out. I do think that he has a bit of EF, now that I know what that is thanks to Indinct. Very smart kids but can’t find his way out of a paperbag sometimes. His i phone with Alarm has helped but we are currently working on lists and calendars.</p>
<p>For those of you who were stay at home moms or “professional volunteers” now that your kids are gone what do you think you will do? I still have a 9th grader at home and still doing volunteer work but am trying to figure out what to do in the next chapter of my life, wondering if anyone else is going through this as well.</p>
<p>Well rainy day here but much warmer than yesterday. Hope your day goes well. Cheers!</p>
<p>Mamom, Is Southwest a possibility, you can have two bags for free and no assigned seats, great deal if they are going your way. I fly my kids to Boston from DC area for generally 34 to 44 dollars one way with no bag fees.</p>
<p>EA01227 - I know Frontier flies Boston to Milwaukee, maybe Southwest, I have to look. I appreciate hearing about others in similar situations with their kids. S was diagnosed as having EFD at the end of his sr. year of HS and saw a therapist for several months. I “think” his problem last semester was lack of effort rather than EFD, but it is only a guess. I have already adjusted to the idea that this isn’t the end of the world. If he ends up taking time off, and/or loses his very large merit scholarship :eek:, we will just regroup and find another path. </p>
<p>I am going to suggest you look into 55+ or sr. housing for your FIL. I agree he needs to get his own life, or his life will end up being yours. In the 55+ or Sr. housing there will be lots of other folks around his age to socialize with. If he just gets an apt somewhere then he may be isolated all day when others go off to work.</p>
<p>Mamam, Thanks, I actually did take him to look at a place, we have several around here and he went with me to "advise"my mom who was actually looking. This place is great, pool, tennis, Marina, etc, houses, apartments, condos and townhouses, anything you would want with great walking trails and tons of activities for 55+ crowd. Then if they get infirm you can have people come look after you. So at the end of the tour and looking at houses, he says to me, too many old people! </p>
<p>We thought originally that we would have dedicated space for him to have his own apartment area of our house with a separate entrance, however, our plans for the house have changed and we don’t have the space at least not now. This may change his feelings about staying with us, we are going to discuss when he gets here tonite. </p>
<p>On to our sons. What did the therapist do for your son and what kind of things did they work on. Think this might be helpful for my son. The icing on the top of his “bad” semester was pulling an all nighter to study for a final then sleeping through the first hour of the final cause he slept through the alarm! I will have to look it up. Thanks</p>
<p>EA - The therapist worked on getting S to use techniques to help him get organized like using the planner on his phone instead of a hard paper one. He taught him techniques like “OHIO” only handle it once. ie- when you get a request/email/HW assignment, do it when you open it/get it so you aren’t repeatedly going back and to it again and again. This obviously only works for quick hits, but don’t let them pile up. The therapist told him things like when you print out an assingment put it right in your backpack, don’t leave it on the printer because you are too lazy to go get it. He worked with him on techniques to divide and conquer big assignments. I have no idea if S is actually doing any of this. Unfortunately, by the time S was diagnosed he was out of HS and did not get any practice in before college. When we visited him at the end of Sept, room mates side of the room was immaculate, S’s desk was overflowing with stuff. I would love to get him into therapy at his school, but school therapist doesn’t think he needs it, S won’t ask for it and I have had no luck trying to find a therapist who specializes in EFD issues with adults 1100 miles away. S will go if I find one, but I don’t want to waste his time taking a bus across town to someone who really can’t help him.</p>
<p>D got her first “grade” (her school does narrative evaluations) and she is satisfied. Prof appreciated her many strengths, but also acknowledged- in a pretty supportive way- her challenge (e.g. writing showed great ideas but was extremely succinct). So she is content. One down and 3 to go. </p>
<p>H is certainly adjusting to the empty nest. He actually turned to me today and said that “we are happiest when it’s just the two of us”. Aww. But of course I had to ruin and say honestly, “I am equally happy when D is with us, as when she is not; she is messy, and can be a bit of a pill sometimes, but there are compensations, too.” He took it well. :D</p>
<p>EAO: I don’t think that you’re being selfish. Maybe after your FIL recovers from his surgery he will get bored and will consider looking for his own place. My mother lives in a very nice retirement home, but she still complains that the people are too old (she is 87). But she does have activities and people to eat dinner with. They also have medical services and I don’t have to worry about her in bad weather.</p>
<p>Mamom: Definitely check into other airlines. Like EAO, we have been getting very cheap flights from Baltimore to Boston, with no baggage fees on Southwest. We are also having a lot of luck getting free flights with the new Soutwest point system. </p>
<p>Kinder: I’m glad to hear that D was satisfied with her first “grade.” It’s sweet that your H is happy with the empty nest. My H and I enjoy our time together, but I think that we’re still both happiest when the nest is full.</p>
<p>Morning all. D is loving her J-term philosophy classes and getting geared up for sorority stuff. The white dresses bought on line are both fine - hooray!
EAO - I don’t think you are being selfish either. You are very kind to do all that you do. I hope your FIL and all his kids appreciate your help. My in-laws (mid eighties) also think the retirement communities are full of old people (many of whom are 10 - 20 years younger than they are)! Guess who will be dealing with all the logistics of whatever comes their way going forward (poor health and in the same home which is way too much for them to care for and is a border line hoarding situation)? I work 30 hours a week, so everyone assumes I have plenty of time - haha.
Add us to the Southwest airlines fan list. It requires a connection for DD, but the no bag fees and customer service are great!</p>
<p>My mother teases she is spending every last dime of my inheritance on housing in a retirement community that graduates to assisted living. The first one wasn’t good enough so she is in the process of transitioning into another which will have the option for even greater care when needed. It is her gift to me. Given my brother lives overseas and won’t be around to help, it really is a blessing that she thinks of everything ahead of time. </p>
<p>My in-laws are quite young and healthy, but have refused to downsize in any way over the last several moves so my MIL can have a game room, three guests rooms, a formal living and dining room, a sewing room…and on, and on. These are not wealthy people either, just stubborn. It really has taught me by example what I do NOT need going forward (as in the very next house, we will downsize by half at least). Part of it stems from my MILs insistence on controlling every event and holiday. She must have the room in her home to accommodate ‘the family’. The minute she doesn’t she would have to relinquish a decision or (gasp) a day to my SIL or myself.</p>
<p>I am with some of the other parents here- have no idea when d will be back home. Closer to spring break, we will need to figure out whether she will be here and voting in person or needs to do an absentee ballot. Our primary is in mid March so for the Presedential election, I think there may not be a choice by then since it will be even after Super Tuesday but our county has turned almost entirely Republican and there are many contests here that will be decided at the primary since there are no Democratic candidates at all. </p>
<p>EA- I also have a freshman in college and in high school and am gradually moving out of being a homeschooling Mom to being ???. Most likely I will end up being even more of a volunteer. I have started this year with tutoring a first grader in math and reading. THe youngest does appreciate that I always have time for her now. She is learning to drive and it turns out that she is the easiest one to teach. I think her fantastic spatial abilities and her non ADHDness is a great benefit in this endeavor. With her, the main thing I have to overcome is fear of driving. But she really learned fast how to park a car and how to manuever at slow speeds. She is no longer afraid of the parking lot, at least.</p>
<p>Hi everyone - back from a week’s vacation at Disney World. Lots of fun and nice togetherness.</p>
<p>Lots of news here, can’t keep up with it all. Hugs to all, for the good news and challenges, too.</p>
<p>One more week with both girls here - D1 drives off to her new rented house and extended internship in the DC area. She’s got several other job apps pending out there; I guess that’s where she’s going to live for a while. D2 is excited about her next semester, and we’re pleased she’s happy to go back. </p>
<p>Spring break she’ll come home. We just took a big vacation, and she doesn’t have any money for a trip of her own. She’s still at the point where she’s feeling like being here at regular intervals is healthy. She doesn’t feel ready (in many ways) for a big deal summer experience, so most likely will come home then, too. She’s having trouble fitting in some required courses at school so we’ve been looking at summer school catalogs. She has a decent theatre opportunity here, too, so she’ll have a decent enough summer. Hopefully she’ll pick up some money, too, but that’s her problem and she knows it.</p>
<p>Next week I go back to my quiet empty nest. That’s fine with me. I’m with kinderny - I like it both ways.</p>
<p>Some of you guys have the nicest breakfasts! I am relieved when the cereal box has more than a few crumbs left in it… I can offer you a steaming hot cup of coffee, though!</p>
<p>S is back at school and starting classes today. D leaves in a few days. I’m not sure if they will be back for Spring Break or not. I will get to see them at some point during the semester, though.</p>
<p>I have seen so many changes in them, all good. They are more self-assured and worldly. I sense that there has been a seismic shift in how they perceive “home,” and I feel a little unhinged by it.</p>
<p>I’m with kinderny and emmybet as I like both a (close to) empty nest and a full nest (I still have a HS sophmore at home but she likes to hang out in her own space much more than her older sisters did and is also out alot so the house gets very quiet).</p>
<p>So much to catch up on–I do enjoy hearing what’s going on with everyone. I posted a separate thread when D1 ended up in the hospital with appendicitis. She’s doing beautifully and I respected her wishes when she told me not to come. She’s had all the support she could want and, now that it’s behind us, I’m so proud of the way she handled everything independently.</p>
<p>The other big news around here is that D2 was accepted into the civil engineering program at her school! She’d applied from high school into a different major but was told at admitted students’ day last April she could pursue engineering in the fall and, if her grades were acceptable, she could continue. As fall progressed, she was told that that original, more optimistic view wasn’t quite correct due to capacity issues, etc. She also got an acceptable but lower than she wanted grade in calc 2 so winter break was a true nail-biter while she waited to hear. Just got the email yesterday and now has one day to move classes around (wasn’t allowed to register as an engineering major b/c she wasn’t technically in the major). Fortunately, it’s all working out!</p>
<p>Re: sheets…we used to have a wamsutta outlet not too far away and I was loyal to the same all cotton, very soft sheets. The store is long gone and I’ve wasted a lot of money trying to find similar sheets. I’m up for a recommendation and just tried googling polar plus sheets and can’t seem to find them. I also tried ‘berkshire hathaway’ but no luck there either. Can anyone point me in the right direction?</p>
<p>blue, your dilemma with your inlaws wanting control of holidays and gatherings reminds me of a Dear Abby letter that I read a few decades back before the spouse and I got married. A woman wrote to Dear Abby saying when she and her husband first got married, both sets of parents wanted them to come to them for holidays. Wanting to keep peace in the family, they split the holidays, going to her parents for Christmas, his for Thanksgiving, and so on. They kept this up for years, after they had children, and as the children got older. Came the time when the oldest generation was too old to host any more…and the letter writer found that she and her husband had no traditions of their own. They’d never had anything in their own home; their children had no memories of events in their family home. :(</p>
<p>I swore that wouldn’t happen to me, and I swore that our family would have memories of having the older generation at our own home for Thanksgiving and Passover and other holidays. And so it has been. It took time, but there’s been a reasonably smooth and loving transfer of hosting duties, starting with a sharing (easy for Passover, as there are two seders). I’m now promising myself that we will be equally accomodating when the time comes for our D’s to want to establish their own traditions.</p>
<p>D1 flies back tomorrow. She’s got an awfully tight connection to make in DC, so I’ve warned her to put anything she needs right away in a carryon, just in case her luggage doesn’t make the connecting flight in time.</p>
I would also tell her to make sure she knows what gate/terminal the second leg of her flight is leaving from and look at a map beforehand to make sure she knows where to go. I can’t tell you how many times I have had to run from one gate to another trying to get to a connecting flight for work.</p>
<p>STove, To much, much fussing when my kids were very young I ‘claimed’ Christmas Day. My MIL gets Christmas Eve which suits her fine as she is Danish and that is really when they celebrate. My in-laws always assumed since I was American I had no significant tradition to pass to my children…um, right… :mad: My SIL finally ‘claimed’ Thanksgiving when my in-laws moved OOS for several years and has never relinquished even when they moved back. So my kids have managed to get a mix of holiday memories, and thankfully some at our house. I can totally see how that would happen. Somehow my MIL tries to manipulate it all. I just smile and nod and whisper to DH “remind me this is what I am NOT to do!”.</p>
<p>Oooh, mamom, good point! Thanks very much for the pointer.</p>
<p>Blue, glad to hear that your kids will have their own traditions to build from. I’m also telling myself that when my youngest sibling wants to host at some point, we’ll share that way, too. </p>
<p>I feel sorry for my inlaws, who never really had any holiday traditions. My MIL’s parents kept control of Thanksgiving for many years, and possibly Passover. And Christmas :rolleyes: My MIL was never much of a cook or entertainer; her sister couldn’t cook but would at least order meals from the supermarket when expecting a crowd. So we really didn’t have to worry about “sharing” the holidays with two sides of the family because only my family celebrated anything.</p>
<p>But also, TJ Maxx/Marshalls if you are able to find them (usually come out in late fall so stock might be gone but worth it to check because much cheaper)</p>
<p>Our freshman D left yesterday to go back to school to start her second semester after a month’s break. We loved having her back but didn’t love her falling back into old habits of leaving her stuff lying around the house for me to clean up, not turning off lights when she leaves the room, going to bed at 4 AM and waking up at noon on a non-school night, etc., but I do now see a significant maturation going on. She has survived a tough first semester and emerged with a respectable GPA. She has shown remarkable improvement in her time management skills (juggling a complicated and full schedule with a part-time job on campus) although still remaining a bit scattered with her organization of personal stuff (her dorm room apparently is still as messy as her room at home). I was also impressed with her confidence at navigating the 3-ish hour return trip back to campus via bus and train while traveling heavily-loaded with her holiday haul of gifts and new clothes, with no complaints. This from a kid who was under the misapprehension that all her transportation and luggage-hauling needs to and from school would be handled in-perpetuity by the Mom and Dad Personal Car Service (which we would do if no other convenient means of conveyance were available, which was certainly not the case here). </p>
<p>I hate to say it, but I sort of enjoy being an empty-nester, even though it is a lot quieter. It got to the point where both D and I were grappling for the position of alpha-female in this household (we’re both somewhat strong-willed) and discussions could get a little lively. One of us had to yield, and since my name is on the mortgage it wasn’t going to be me. I guess this is part and parcel part of the growing-up process. The next three and a half year stretch certainly promises to be interesting!</p>
It took time, but there’s been a reasonably smooth and loving transfer of hosting duties, starting with a sharing (easy for Passover, as there are two seders). I’m now promising myself that we will be equally accomodating when the time comes for our D’s to want to establish their own traditions.</p>