<p>D has a job as a camp counselor again this summer. She has counseled at a girl scout camp for two summers and decided to switch to our church camp for this summer. It pays a little less, though I am thinking that it may be more enjoyable to her because the staff will have similiar beliefs as hers.</p>
<p>So, she won’t be around much to have to wonder as to what rules to make. I think it is entirely reasonable to make the college kids work somehow. I think their responsibilities around the house in terms of chores or care of younger siblings should go up or down in proportion to how much they are working for pay.</p>
<p>We’ve had the college student at home, fogfog, with our older one who took a gap year and is now a junior in college. His grandmother gave her her old 1996 Subaru, so no car issues, though he took a while to get his license. </p>
<p>Our plan for college kids at home is to facilitate the transition to adulthood. Be respectful. We didn’t have chores in HS. In part, ShawSon was challenged by LDs and sleep apnea while trying to get stellar performance in everything he tried and so was typically exhausted. We didn’t ask for much. We have someone who mows the lawn although ShawSon shoveled the driveway whenever asked. We wanted responsible behavior, which we got for the most part. We wanted more cleaning after cooking (and we got some of that though not always). By last summer, he would cook for us some of the time. He does whatever is asked without complaining, although he usually doesn’t volunteer except for certain things like cooking. Need the car unloaded? No problem. Need help moving stuff. No problem. The only issue we had was a funny one. I know enough about the field he is studying to be dangerous – it’s not my field but I’m pretty well educated. So, he’d like to talk with me about ideas a lot, even when ShawD and ShawWife were there. ShawWife thinks it is fascinating but ShawD is not a big concept thinker and really objects – and I think she is largely right to do so, even though I enjoy being engaged intellectually.</p>
<p>On social life, our plan for college students at home was largely not to make rules. Our rule through much of HS was was to let us know when you are switching houses. At some point in HS, we said, just let us know when you are switching towns. I think we kept that. Answer your cell phone if you are out. We didn’t have a curfew. During the gap year, we just said, “Let us know if you are going to be coming back late.” I think that has stayed as well. If things hadn’t been working, we might have tried to impose rules but so far that hasn’t been a problem. Again, as long as they are respectful of us, siblings, and neighbors and are not endangering themselves (medically, legally or otherwise), we’re not going to try to intervene.</p>
<p>ShawSon will stay at school this summer, except possibly for August, and ShawD will be in summer school, so neither will be at home. Those issues won’t arise for us. And, guess what, when they are away, we have no knowledge of or control over what they do.</p>
<p>^ RIght Shaw.
We don’t know what k1 is doing etc …
Though under the same roof little courtesies etc…figuring out car use…pitching in etc will be helpful.
FinAid requires every student applying for aid to contribute 1/4 of saving plus something like 3-4k $ each year. So funds raised during the summer will likely go to that…and the fees for the int’l competition in sport.</p>
<p>You mentioned sleep apnea… my k2 student w LD complains of always being tired and never getting a decent night of sleep. Had deviated septum and serious sinus, adnoid etc surgery last summer…though k2 said it doesn’t seem to improve anything.
Maybe we should have a formal sleep study done. Whatch think? Could a large part of the being tired distracted and ADD etc be exaserbated by sleep apnea?</p>
<p>If k2 still feels tired when waking up / never thoroughly rested even when he gets a good night sleep, absolutely get a sleep test. ShawSon could never perform the way he has in college without the sleep apnea surgery. He was using the CPAP in HS and it helped but was insufficient. The surgery was pretty intense and he did it during his gap year. He’s been awesome in college.</p>
<p>LOL momof3greatgirls! I was heartbroken when DS left in August, but we have moved on and settled into a lovely routine on our own. Winter break was hard; kiddo slept and ate which was ok for two weeks but got really tough at five weeks. He will be home for about five weeks again before heading out on an eight-week summer program and then back for about two before school starts.
DH and I have already started talking about the long stretch before the summer program. Yes, kiddo deserves lots of sleep (and food!) and a break after a happy successful freshman year (I think…a few weeks to go), but we will not be able to tolerate sleeping until noon every day and not much else. Problem is we moved at same time he left for school and are now thousands miles away from friends so there’s not much to get him out. We will expect him to pitch in more at the house - help with chores, etc., but he’s always been good about that when asked. He can’t get a job for such a short period so what to do?? I know he’s just as worried about being bored as we are…just haven’t found the solution yet. Maybe some volunteering…</p>
<p>Hopefully DS will be gainfully employed for the summer although it’s part time. I’ll be a bit easy on him about sleeping in since he doesn’t get to do so at school–he’s up before 6am three days a week. :eek:</p>
<p>“Oh Never mind” as Emily Latilla used to say. DS2 had a great time at the parade, but the telecast managed to cut to commercial and cut them out of the broadcast completely. That’s OK, I took lots of pictures!!! It would have been nice to send a copy of the telecast to the Grandparents, though.</p>
<p>My S1 also has no job lined up yet for the summer. Yet I still think that if he’s persistent and keeps applying to things he’ll probably find something. If he does, it almost certainly won’t be local. We just don’t have many technical jobs around here (rural area). So I am expecting not to have him home this summer, except perhaps long enough to have his wisdom teeth removed. ;-o</p>
<p>We have been hit with some pretty bad storms today. It seems to be over for now, hopefully to stay. A hospital in our TV viewing area was hit by a tornado, we’ve heard the sirens of ambulances from other hospitals going there. And, we keep losing power then it comes back on. We have a cable modem that uses electricity, so we can’t be online when the electricity is out. Bummer.</p>
<p>Anyway, I think I will call it a day and go to sleep before the wind starts up again…</p>
<p>VAMom- well that stinks regarding the cut to commercial. Not often many get to be on television. </p>
<p>siemom - I was going to suggest volunteering too. Perhaps an unpaid internship someplace he might like to get a paid internship at next summer?</p>
<p>S will return to his 35 hour a week job doing maintenance at a large apt complex. Pay is better than many other jobs his friends have. I thought about letting him have a few weeks off before starting when he returns home, but he wants to start earning money right away. If he waits a few weeks it would be a month before he sees a check and he doesn’t like being the “poor man.” He promised us he would save substantially more this summer than he did last summer.</p>
<p>H is on work travel next week, he leaves today. Found out he was assigned a middle seat on a 5 hour flight. He just asked me if it was worth paying $50 out of his pocket to upgrade to the middle seat in the exit row. I said no, but I don’t have his long legs. I hate traveling for work, it is always last minute, company won’t pay for direct flights and I always have crappy seats.</p>
<p>S will be living at home except for the week he is the night counselor for a computer camp at his college. He hasn’t quite figured out what his responsibilities will be. He just likes the fact that he will make more money in a week than he will working at the pizza place at home. We are a little blown away that he is looking into taking first year Spanish at our city university this summer in order to partially complete a language requirement for a BA in cognitive science in addition to his plan to complete a BS in computer science with a minor in philosophy. The craziest part is that he hasn’t even taken the first course in the cognitive science sequence yet. I think he just thinks it sounds good. I’m glad he is more involved in his education plans than he was last year but, for a bright kid, I don’t think he is really thinking it all through.</p>
<p>I am SO used to not to have S1 around and not sure what it will be like to have him home all summer. He called the other day and was upset that he was turned down by the summer jobs he has applied. As right now he has nothing lined up for the summer. I agree that IF he keeps trying he probably will find something.</p>
<p>ShawD is going to be studying chemistry and microbiology (?) this summer but was downtown today and stopped in at several stores at the fancy downtown mall to pick up applications for part-time summer employment. She doesn’t strike me like a retail person but stores like Club Monaco apparently like to hire young women who look like her to sell the clothes. Yesterday she was at a party at our friends’ home – a family we’re very close to – for a birthday party and she ran into one of our friend’s proteges, now a highly-regarded person himself who in fact wrote a recommendation for her for a summer research program for last summer. Well, she mentioned that she’s looking for a place to live for next year and he said he and his wife have a fancy multi-floor condo overlooking the water with an extra bedroom/bathroom that they rent out. The wife is pregnant so they’ll have a baby soon. ShawD is excited because it is far nicer than any place she’s likely to live (or in fact that she’s ever lived). But, it’s not clear it is good for her to be in a place with a couple and their baby. I know him better than her and he is a kind generous person. Really sweet. I think they’d love to have her as an occasional babysitter (and are offering her very attractive rent). But, not sure it is a good idea. I’ll hear about her reactions soon. What do you think?</p>
<p>Bajamm, hope the storms have passed without any major damage!</p>
<p>Shawbridge, is she looking for a place for the summer or for next year during school? I think it would be weird for her to live with a couple and their baby during the school year.</p>
<p>Shaw…
It does sound like if they are offering attractive rent that they are likely hoping for baby help as well. She should also be prepared that it is possible this baby won’t sleep through the night for months, round the clock care/feedings etc. Won’t be an only adult house. Also having guests (hers) could be awkward…like a date…kwim…so if she wants to have a friend over for drinks/dinner etc that could be awkward?
OTOH if its a great location and she is more of a home-body and won’t want to entertain etc…she might enjoy it.
Certainly being with a new baby in the house will be great subliminal birth control! haha</p>
<p>mathmomvt and Shaw, she is thinking about summer and next year. I think it would be weird also. fogfog, you’re right: What happens when the baby is crying all night and she’s got a test the next day? Also, what happens when she has a boyfriend? I hadn’t thought about the subliminal birth control. Well, other than the spectacular view, that would be a clear benefit.</p>
<p>I’d suggest living somewhere else and babysitting for them if she wants to. Maybe she can do that instead of Club Monaco? I assume retail doesn’t pay as well as baby-sitting. I’d have to imagine that a babysitter who is a nursing student, has already has CPR (and I think young kid CPR, IIRC), lifesaving and other training and who comes from a background that you understand since you’ve known her and her family for years would command a reasonable hourly wage, although I could be wrong.</p>
<p>I can’t really imagine anyone being able to pay more than minimum wage for a babysitter, no matter how wonderful and qualified, more than very occasionally, unless they were very well off (which maybe they are if they own a condo with a fantastic view).</p>
<p>I think the going rate where we are is definitely higher than the minimum wage. I recall ShawD getting $15 and with one fairly affluent family, $20 per hour. I was a little surprised it was so high. I just did a quick check (on care.com and some other site) and it seems that the range is indeed $15 to $20 per hour but can range from $10 to $25 per hour. Club Monaco seems to be $9-11 per hour. </p>
<p>Ah, and mathmom, the condo is in one of the nicer neighborhoods in Boston. The two top floors plus the entire roof deck. But, they are renting out a room.</p>
That’s OK, I took lots of pictures!!! It would have been nice to send a copy of the telecast to the Grandparents, though.</p>