<p>Jaylynn: </p>
<p>Thank you but sorry for my ignorance in interpreting the detail.</p>
<p>Is Flumist not recommended “only” for kids with asthma or also for “teens” with asthma as per the link?</p>
<p>That is what I am not able to understand.</p>
<p>Thanks much.</p>
<p>Jaylynn has been very generous in sharing her professional knowledge with us, but at the same time it is probably best for us to consult our own doctors. :)</p>
<p>Lillypod that does sound alarming. Could you call the school’s student health service and explain it’s your son’s roommate, and just make sure they are on top of the situation? It seems like the school would have an interest in making sure this kid gets the proper care and follow up if it’s as potentially dangerous as you think it is. I know they can’t discuss the situation with you for privacy reasons, but a head’s up seems in order. Or possibly contact Dean of Students office? I’d just follow up and share my concern to someone there.</p>
<p>Snowflake - we have the same situation here that my DH and I really love to hear from our D, and she usually only calls on the weekend. We had a nice long Skype with her this past weekend. My DH was actively jealous though that I tend to get to online chat with her about little things during the week - and I let him read my FB chats with her, which he appreciated, but now I’m feeling kind of stressed because I feel like I have no private chats with her anymore. We were very close when she was here. It’s not that I want to complain about her dad or anything, but it’s just odd having to monitor everything I say and share every communication and having all phone calls etc. be public. Oh well, we’ll see her in a few weeks when she’s home for break. Anyone else having to make the transition from one-on-one talks to family shared ones?</p>
<p>My son is no super genius. He went to a rigorous school his entire life. He is not finding college particularly challenging and he’s going to a school that has a reputation of kids studying 24/7. With only 4 classes he feels like he has loads of free time. That being said he hasn’t gotten that much graded stuff back yet, but he has no clue why kids are studying so long. Which of course makes me nervous that he isn’t doing more studying. He says he wouldn’t even know what to do. He gets it, does the homework and feels confident about the classes. But my devils advocate says it doesn’t mean he’s getting all A’s. </p>
<p>He’s also not thrilled with the smell of vomit in the hallways. For an allegedly nerdy school there seems to be plenty of drinking/drugs. I told him to just imagine what our state U would have been like. When hubby mentioned - now you know why I didn’t want you going there, he agreed it could have been awful. I did tell him that they were the typical ones, it’s a pretty normal thing for kids to do when they get away from their parents.</p>
<p>I think his biggest challenge is dealing with the all you can eat aspect of the cafeteria as well as around the clock soda’s as well as food delivery to the dorms.</p>
<p>Well I have an update but no resolution to the RM situation. My S is still locked out of the room we are paying for.
They had the committee meeting this afternoon. My S was early, the RM was 20 minutes late. My S related the story, the RM comments were pretty much that he had no idea that there was an issue. They were not allowed to stay in the room while the RA related the situation from his point of view. I can only hope he related that that the RM admitted both verbally assaulting and threatening my S with violance to him, as when questioned after the initial conversation with the RA the RM has pretended nothing ever happened. The committee told them they needed to take the night to try to find a RM swap, and if they can’t they will decide what will happen tomorrow.
My S said he will ask around but he is certain no one will volunteer to live with his RM.
One glimmer of hope is that the director of housing escorted my S to pick up some business casual clothes he needs for a meeting tonight, and while walking told my S not to worry, that he can tell when someone is BSing him. Also when they got to the room my S name plate was ripped down from the door, when the director asked the RM what happened he said Idk and then laughed and said I guess it sort of looks like I did it. Weird.
I am now truly angry at this situation, but my S has made me promise to wait until tomorrow and only call if there is no resolution. In the meantime he is staying in his friends room on the floor.
It’s crazy that they will not make a decision and are actually ok with subjecting another kid to this RM.</p>
<p>Mom2jl,</p>
<p>it’s good that your son is being proactive in his worrying!</p>
<p>My oldest son had the same feeling when he started college. He found that he coped best when he “planned out” his studying.</p>
<p>He took a by-the-hour day planner and entered his classes and his other obligations (club meetings, practices, intramurals etc) for several weeks or even a whole semester at a time. He also put in due dates for papers, quiz and exam dates, etc. </p>
<p>That way he could see what his life really looked like. This technique also highlighted time spots that would be difficult, like if he had a paper in Class A and a group presentation in Class B and an exam in Class C all lumped together–he realized that he had better get the paper done far in advance, and get going on review for the exam and the substantive part of the presentation as well–because he could anticipate that there would be group meetings and possible rehearsals for the group presentation, and study groups he would want to attend for the exam.</p>
<p>The other thing he did in getting his life under control was then create a study plan --he charted out on the calendar when he planned to do what work for each class so that he knew what he was doing and when. For example, he had an hour break between two classes on Monday–that was when he reviewed vocabulary and grammar for his Arabic class; he did econ reading on Monday afternoon and statistics problem sets on Monday night, etc. Every week or so he would look ahead and make sure he had all his bases covered. He even charted out when he was planning on going to the writing center, etc.</p>
<p>This plan wasn’t graven in stone–it just gave him a sense of control. If a study group was going to meet, he could move things around–without fear that something would fall through the cracks. He knew that everything was going to get done.</p>
<p>This way he also was able to leave himself some “empty” time without feeling guilty about it. He wrote down his fun plans too–college is not supposed to be all work, all the time. He just felt a lot more in control.</p>
<p>He passed this tip down to his brothers, and they all do this to some extent now.</p>
<p>Excellent idea oldfort!</p>
<p>I would be pretty angry too Elka. As difficult as it is to wait, it looks like you can not move things along faster. I guess I would want to know if they have singles that either your son can move to or this boy (even though that would reward the little beep-beep)</p>
<p>wow, Elka, your son is sure learning some lessons in life that are unfortunate…but I am glad he is learning to stand up and advocate for himself.</p>
<p>Hugs to you and to him!</p>
<p>eyemamom–</p>
<p>the party atmosphere will dissipate a bit (although not entirely) after kids start getting back that first round of grades.</p>
<p>Goodness elka, I hope it works out tomorrow!</p>
<p>lilypod - I do think I’d be contacting Student Health Services just to be certain they were aware of things. Beyond that I’m not sure there is much more that can be done from your position. It sounds scary.</p>
<p>Elka - yours also sounds scary, but from a totally different perspective. I’d be glad my guy is getting away from that RM and hoping they are able to do something fair (making the other guy move). One has to wonder if the other guy could be violent - esp if he happens to party at all.</p>
<p>Eyemamom - I think we lucked out with my guy’s dorm placement. His dorm is not the partying one and several kids there choose other things for their entertainment. Based upon things he has told me, I definitely don’t consider URoc a drug/party school compared to many I know of. I don’t know how much time my guy spends studying, but he has As in 3 of his 4 classes and we’re waiting to see about Chem today. He scored well above the mean and median on the test, but it depends upon the other scores to know if that one’s an A or not (the others are super clear). He does feel the college classes are easier than he expected, but I consider that a good thing. Colleges do tend to be easier on students freshman fall semester - and those who entered well-prepared often have an easy transition. Those without a good foundation or those who party or get too involved in free time activities need a bit of a wake up and usually get it. I feel for your guy with his dorm placement.</p>
<p>Then, of course, one can be doing superbly and fall to Cupid’s arrows… not that my oldest would be having issues there (nor myself back in the old days). ;)</p>
<p>My S said that there is a single open in a different section of their dorms, but those cost extra so I’m pretty sure giving it up will be the last thing the school will want to do.</p>
<p>^^^ The other kid ought to foot the bill and have his own room.</p>
<p>Well knowing that there is a single is where you get to come in if they cannot resolve this. When your time comes to step in that is what you ask very strongly for. If you need your husband to make a tag team push then do that too. </p>
<p>The school should absorb the cost, for the rest of the semester if it comes to that and then next semester they can room your son with a transfer student if need be who may not be a freshman but who cares. Hopefully that person would be an okay room mate.</p>
<p>But for now, you have to wait and let it play out.</p>
<p>Elka-- I hate that in situations like these sometimes the wrong party (eg the roommate) will end up with a sweet bigger single because no one else will want to room with him. Ugh. </p>
<p>Trial1-- Flumist is not expressly contraindicated for teens with asthma. </p>
<p>Vomit in the halls? Yuk!</p>
<p>Oh the RM is a partier in fact he’s the supplier for the dorm( a fact that all the kids including the RA knows). That’s why my S is so sure no one will swap with him. The reason I haven’t mentioned this is because my S has kept this out of all the discussions with the school. He refuses to be a snitch. I can kind of understand why he feels that way. If the RM gets thrown out of school, everyone will know my S smirched and he doesn’t want to find himself in this situation.</p>
<p>So the plot thickens 
If you had to, could you pay for the single for the semester? I would push hard to get the school to do it but just in case, could you?</p>
<p>From a procedural standpoint, the school has to show that they could not resolve the problem any other way and document that they had gone through all of the steps. So even though the whole situation is giving you an ulcer, the higher ups will want to see what was done before they are willing to pay for the single.</p>
<p>I will pay the extra if that’s what it takes. However I would think this particular school would be extra sensitive to RM situations and decide to resolve this without involving the parents.</p>
<p>Agreed, but it can be your back up plan.</p>
<p>elka so sorry to hear the RM issue is not resolved. The RM needs to go, or the school can absorb the cost of the single for your son (does your son want a single?). I hope a quick resolution is reached, and am glad to hear the Director of Housing is involved. If the RM is wrecking the nameplate, what about your son’s other belongings? Is there a plan in place to get those things out, or the RM out, after a decision is reached? It doesn’t sound like the RM should be allowed back in the room by himself.</p>