<p>Whew. I haven"t visited here in a while, and have a lot of catching up to do! Here’s my update: My D1 starts rush tomorrow at Denison, and is pretty excited about it. I am excited about the decision to give new rushees identical T-shirts for the “Greek values round” tomorrow. That’s one less outfit to buy!</p>
<p>We also are doing college visits with D2. We visited University of Tennessee-Knoxville yesterday (go Vols!) and will visit DePauw on Monday. And I am reluctantly reading the updated college guidebooks again … .</p>
<p>Sorry for the question that I should probably know the answer to, but what is GDI?</p>
<p>About 50% of men are in fraternities at MIT but my son is not. He’s seen a number of his friends join them, but I guess there is a great community in his dorm and he hasn’t felt the loss.</p>
<p>Your son sounds very comfortable with who he is and his decision. I admire him. I hope he gets the RA position. I’m sure he’ll do some good in that capacity.</p>
<p>My son is now rooming chair-elect for his dorm and it will give him an opportunity to know many/most of the people in his dorm including all the incoming freshmen in the fall. I think being involved as an RA or in some other way in one’s dorm is a good way to stay busy even with so many others joining frats and sororities.</p>
<p>Barbarino- does your S have any clubs that he might be interested in joining. I know D’s school does a big 2nd semester open house for groups. Maybe he can find some others like himself not interested in greek life and fill the void.</p>
<p>GDI stands for G D independent. Use whatever G or D you want–gosh, god or similar for G, demmed, dam for D, you get the picture. It is generally people who consider anyone who joined a fraternity/sorority to be a conformist in a bad way–GDIs often look down on anyone who joins.
I truly get it, I had friends who never wanted to join or be a part of that. The real issue here is her S–is it that he doesn’t want to join because his parents were GDI or because he does not want it for himself? If the former, that is as bad as forcing a kid to join whatever the parent did back whenever… If the latter, more power to him. If he changes his mind, he can still join as a sophomore at most schools (I did and H did as well).
I think the RA is great, it might be his group or club without any of the GDI issues. It does not have to be a formal brotherhood/sisterhood and all that stuff to be a true community…</p>
<p>barbarino - I am a Cornell parent. Older D graduated 5 years ago, and a younger D as a freshman. The spring semester parties at Cornell are mostly mixers - closed parties between fraternities and sororities. Students who are not part of the Greek life will not be invited, unlike the fall semester where parties are more open. It is more challenging for freshmen because upperclassmen tend to live off campus and they have house parties. If most of your son’s friends are pledging then they are going to be quite busy in the spring. I know D2 will be required to go to mixers scheduled by the sorority she pledges, and she is not going to have as much time to hang out with friends outside of her sorority. If your son is interested, he may want to speak with his friends to see if they could recommend him for the fraternity they are pledging. It is not for everyone, and certainly there is a large percentage of students who are not involved with Greek life at Cornell.</p>
<p>A lot of students do not go back early unless they are rushing, so most of them probably won’t be back until tomorrow since classes start on Mon. Once everyone is back, your son may not feel as alone.</p>
<p>I agree with oldfort that many students have not yet made their way back to campus. I would wait to worry until after the semester actually starts.</p>
<p>Thanks Oldfort and GeminiMom! He went back early for his RA interview–otherwise he wouldn’t have gone back until today. We try not to influence his decisions regarding whether to be a part of a fraternity–I just know that as he is the first child, he tends to look up to his parents more than the younger two siblings. He was a nationally ranked debater in HS, but has chosen to forego debate to expand his interests (it truly is a time sink)! His father is from Spain, so the whole Greek thing is truly foreign to him. I appreciate the feedback-we are in Texas so I know I imagine the worst when I think of him alone in the dorm room!</p>
<p>barbarino - your son has been at Cornell for a semester, so he would know if the Greek life is for him or not. I don’t think he is choosing to be GDI just because of you. I was not in a sorority. H was in a fraternity, but was not very involved. Our kids chose to participate because of their personal choice. I think your son will be fine. I heard it has been quite cold up in Ithaca. Hope your son is adjusting well, coming from TX.</p>
<p>So my major story. I went to school for engineering (loved physics in HS but could not figure out what I could do with it other than my guidance counselor’s suggestion to be a physics teacher - not a fit for me). After freshman year I really was missing reading books for fun and decided to double major in English. Not a single overlap course, although all of my classes started with ENG. Had to take summer classes to meet all of my major requirements.</p>
<p>The biggest perk was as an engineering major I had access to the computers and was a very early adopter of word processing. No other English major had the computer access or familiarity to write on what was a very new thing at the time. The only problem was the big floppy disks we stored things on. They were truly floppy and easily damaged!</p>
<p>My major story is boring. As a junior in high school, I thought I wanted to go to med school. I was a candy striper at the local hospital (to get volunteer hours) and was planning to apply to a combined BS/MD program at Michigan. I had a lot of hours in over several years so I got first choice of volunteer spots and I picked physical therapy. While helping in PT, they would have me go over to occupational therapy to get things to do with one of the patients while he was working on standing tolerance in a standing table. I loved the things that OT had to do with the patients and decided OT was my calling. I chose a college based on my major, took all the pre-reqs and got into the program on my first try. I didn’t change majors until after practicing as an OTR for 13 years. Then I got some Microsoft certifications and turned my hobby (computers) into a career. Since then, I’ve specialized in Information Security and am on my third “major” of sorts, as I’m in grad school working on a Master’s in InfoSec.</p>
<p>Mine is similar to jmnva’s. I started out as a ChemE major thinking I would do a 3-2 program and get an MBA as well (the unemployment rate was about 20% in my home town in 1981 and I REALLY wanted to make sure I was employable!). After a semester I realized that I couldn’t stand the idea of living in a lab. I had done well in an Econ elective and found it a good use of my analytic skills so I ended up in the 3-2 program to get a B.A. in Econ and an M.S. in Public Policy Analysis. I worked in consulting for a while but then made the mistake of going back for a PhD in Economics. The program I picked wasn’t applied enough and I ended up bailing out without the doctorate (AbD). It’s pretty ironic that I was worried about being employable since I’ve spent most of the last 18 years as a stay at home mom and uber-volunteer. Now I’m trying to find a job that uses my skills, but am really having trouble figuring out what to aim for!</p>
<p>I was a major switcher, too. In HS I was an artsy type, into sculpture, music, ceramics, and print making. I figured the only way I could afford an arts lifestyle as an adult was to become an art teacher. My freshman year education classes were total BS. Fortunately, the second semester one had a “personal component” (OK, It was the '70s!) I was a student observer in a local HS humanities class. I decided that I did not care for other people’s children! While home on spring break I was rather depressed (broke up with BF, not rehired for summer job, hated major). It was Sunday, and my father was reading the Parade magazine in the paper. He looked at me and said “It says here that the country will be XXX,000 engineers short by the year 1990. Why don’t you become an engineer?” Hmm. Why not? So on Monday, knowing nothing about engineering, I made an appointment with the head of the civil engineering department and switched. Apparenty my SATs were pretty good (honestly, I had no idea since they weren’t imporatant for art school). I had to go an extra semester, but I liked engineering, and really liked having 3 job offers before I graduated.</p>
<p>Sounds like I’m the flake of the group. I took dance classes since I was 7. I didn’t really want to go to college, but my parents agreed to let me major in dance. So off I went to major in dance for my freshman year. I grew up outside NYC and the dance classes where I went were fine, but I could see how I’d spin in circles there for my life. So I told my parents over the summer I didn’t want to go back and wanted to make my way in the big city. Which is what I did for a year and a half - dance, acting, voice classes in NYC, auditions, showcases. The agreement with my parents was to take “real” classes as well. I ended up with a pretty bad back injury, physical therapy, a lot of self reflection - and i went back to college. I ended up with a BA in economics. However, going back after that long in the real world made me feel a bit beyond the people in college. So I lived off campus, had friends at a job where I worked p/t.</p>
<p>re. greek life. I was a student at Cornell, and at that time there were so many frats that there really was one for every guy who wanted to be in one. I hung out at several when I was an upperclassman. None of my group of friends were greek, so I had plenty of social opportunities. I lived in an apartment after freshman year. </p>
<p>I think the S will be ok either way. I agree that finding some club or activity would be a very good thing to encourage. My D did not have much involvement in clubs first semester, concentrating mostly on school work. I encouraged her to try rushing and she is in the first of two weekends now (not at Cornell.) She said yesterday was exhausing, I think visiting all the houses. Luckily she has tomorrow off from classes.</p>
<p>I think getting back for the second semester is tough for a lot of kids, my D included. It isn’t the new excitement of arrival in August. I think after they settle in things will seem happier.</p>
<p>I do like the way they do it at MIT with this month pretty much just being for fun (IAP - Independent Activities Period). I have one kid doing a Python Class and Pistol and another doing Zumba and Boot Camp (working out). Both were absolutely excited to be going back and are having a lot of fun. Once classes start in a couple weeks it’ll be a more natural transition back to “work”.</p>
<p>After all the angst…S called and said all is well and he’s looking forward to classes tomorrow. The residence hall is full, and his outlook sounded MUCH improved. Thanks for the kind encouragement and advice–it kept me from hopping on a plane to Ithaca and embarrassing us both! It’s about to be truly cold–and he’s looking forward to it! I guess that the young recover from growing pains faster than their parents.</p>
Or maybe I should’ve said yeehaw?</p>