<p>((hugs CPU))</p>
<p>Come here and vent when you need to, and then follow the advice you have received and talk to someone on campus. It’s hard to do transitions, know we are here for you.</p>
<p>CPU - is the course shopping season over for the semester or do you still have time to switch?</p>
<p>CPU: I am so sorry that you are feeling unhappy. You can always come here to vent. You know that we care about you. I agree with all the others who have advised you to go to the school counseling center and tell them you would like to talk to someone.</p>
<p>Know this: You are not alone - I do not just mean that there are a lot of college freshmen who hit low periods -I mean that there are many young men and women who beat the odds and were invited to study at Harvard when they came from towns, schools and families that don’t usually feed into Harvard. There is a lot of stress that comes with being a pioneer. But you have to know that you are not alone. There are H alumni that have gone through exactly what you may be going through. Perhaps the counseling center can put you in touch with some of them. They will know just how you feel. They have walked the path you are walking.</p>
<p>I agree with those who have sais that you just need to sign up for 3 or 4 courses that strike you as interesting. Not every class has to be a rung on the ladder that gets you to some goal that you set for yourself a few years ago. Rediscover the joy of just learning something new and sharing ideas with interesting people.</p>
<p>Take a deep breadth. See in yourself what all of us see in you - it is real. Be cool. Sometimes the best thing to do for a while is just keep on keeping on.</p>
<p>I feel like I have nothing to say. S is happy, loves his classes, feels very engaged and I don’t really need to worry about him. His birthday is tomorrow - the first away from home 
He doesn’t want to tell his friends, though we and my mom sent money for him to take friends out for dinner or to order pizza, etc. </p>
<p>And he had to get a new pair of boots as the 14 4e’s were too snug. I think we may have to find a cobbler to make him shoes big enough for his feet.</p>
<p>Would he hate it if you arranged to skype at a certain time to make sure he’s in his room, and arranged to have a few pizzas delivered to his floor?</p>
<p>For D2’s birthday, I ordered cup cakes from a local baker to have them delivered to her dorm room. I heard they were big hit. She took a picture and sent it to us.</p>
<p>Happy birthday to eyemamom’s S.</p>
<p>Thank you for the replies. I can respond more thoroughly later tonight, but just wanted to let you all know that I have an appointment at 4 with mental health services.</p>
<p>Happy birthday to eyemamom’s son.</p>
<p>I’ve been there, CPU. My freshman year was miserable. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of going to counseling, and if you don’t like your counselor, get another. I found the counseling center, got help, changed majors, and started fresh (at the same school) sophomore year. I did not make any real friends freshman year, and I found the atmosphere of an all-women’s dorm quite toxic. I switched to a laid back coed dorm the next year and let the school pick a new roommate for me. Couldn’t be worse than the first two. And third time was the charm. We roomed together for the next two years, and I finished off a new major at the same school (had to go an extra semester, but so what!).</p>
<p>Your counselor can help you figure out if you have depression or SADD and require meds, or whether you are “just” overwhelmed. Go and take care of it. It gets easier once you take that first step.</p>
<p>CPU, hugs to you … glad you know this is a safe place to come when you are feeling blah. I agree you should check in with campus counseling … an in person visit will help them talk through what is going on. You are definitely not the only one feeling this way in college. Also, consider your physical health … since it is the Northeast and Winter blues are here, and your are indoors all the time, your moods can get lower if your Vitamin D levels are below normal. Your thyroid could also be below normal levels if you are not eating and sleeping regularly or have a family susceptability to low thyroid … whatever it is, use your resources to reach out. You will be glad you did, especially if the counseling gives you some direction or if the health checkup finds something.</p>
<p>Happy birthday to your son, eyemamom!!!</p>
<p>Eyemamom: Happy Birthday to DS! It’s great that he’s enjoying classes.</p>
<p>CPU-I have gotten teary-eyed reading your posts today. Sad for you that you are having a hard time and then happy that you had an appointment.</p>
<p>It is so nice to see all of the support you have on here-no wonder I visit this thread daily! </p>
<p>I think everyone has great words for you and open hearts-if I could just add my part: Please just know it gets better. I found a quote that I try to remember a lot for myself-“Life always offers a second chance. It’s called tomorrow”.</p>
<p>Hugs to you! Hoping you remember to take a deep breath every once in a way, do something special for yourself each day-even something little, and be proud of yourself. Do not be hard on yourself-you will definitely find your way and you will be ok.</p>
<p>CPU couldn’t agree more with the positive affect a good counselor can have. DD found a counselor early in her first semester. She knew college was going to be a big adjustment for various reasons. The counselor was able to help her understand herself better and was a great source of support. Going back second semester was so much better. She also found something else beside academics just for her, the a cappella group. So find something else for you besides academics, get a counselor and give yourself a chance !</p>
<p>CPU- Sending you hugs and also sent a PM… I am so glad you made an appt. to see someone. Just know you are not alone and there are lots of cheerleaders here on your side!</p>
<p>on other fronts</p>
<p>steveC- good to hear the end to the key story. crazy ending lol but great they are not charging you…</p>
<p>jackiecf- congrats to your D on her sorority, she will love it I am sure!</p>
<p>cama- congrats to your D… I just love to listen to accapella</p>
<p>eyemamom- Happy late bday to your S</p>
<p>I apologize for the length… in the heat of the moment I did not realize how long my post had gotten. </p>
<p>Taking a break from hw to say I am really thankful for all your posts. I can’t respond to everyone individually at this time but: it is not too late to change courses but I would already be greatly behind. I think shopping for courses period should be light to none on homework for any late comers. Many people suggest that it’s because everyone here is doing a million things. Yes, it does annoy me when people complain-brag about the million ECs and internships and jobs and 390173284 classes they are taking in one semester. But that’s not it. It is all internal. I don’t think the classes are “hard”. I have no motivation to be here (school, not just H). I’ve always tried to pretend to be ambitious/knowing what I wanted or tried to make myself like things and hoping that it would eventually come true. But I am just tired of pretending. Coming to H made me realize that I have choices: I can choose to do or not do. I did not have choices back then when school was mandatory, so I sucked it up. I always felt that school was not for me, no matter how well I did. I had hoped that these feelings came from an un-challenging curriculum beyond the advanced program I did in grade school, and that everything would change when I got here (to college in general). More homework =/= more challenging, and I feel that college is just more homework. I never had “real” challenging work, so I have no idea what that feels like. It is also not because of being on my own. I am independent and my mom knows that and wasn’t worried about that part at all (she was just worried about me being away in general. But we both downloaded an App on our phones that tells us the location of the other so she is a lot more calm [but constantly asking me where I am going or why am I on xx street ;)]) Talking to my mom is a bust. She says the same thing every time. I know she loves me and is always there to push me and be my support. But for once I just want her to say “okay, let’s get you some help”. Sometimes she’d be upset (angry) when I had problems in middle school/early HS and went to social workers/guidance counselors instead of her. And when we got into fights she would say things like ‘you better not go tell the SW bad things about me’ or something like that. I never told her these feelings because I knew what she would say and that’s not what I wanted to hear. She asked why all of these feelings came “all of a sudden”. I told her they did not randomly pop up, but what was the use in saying them if I was required by law to go to school (and I would be 6ft under before dropping out of HS). I know she is right; a college education is important for many reasons. The social worker I met with today said so as well. I know my mom is dealing with the same things. Stressed, single mom, full time RN and taking courses to advance her degree. She says she feels the same way as me, but she sucks it up because she has to do it. I mentioned being depressed before (years ago) and she didn’t like the idea. When I self-harmed because of intense bullying when I was in grade school, I got in trouble and yelled at and was told that those problems (bullying and other things, mainly self esteem but still some others) were not really problems and many people had it worse than me and self-harming isn’t a joke and she would show me (as in visually, not physically) what happened to kids who did that (ie in a morgue). So that’s where it stopped. I never told her my feelings beside “I’m stressed bc of too much hr” or “School is boring”. Also because she is taking care of us by herself and I don’t want to worry her more. She and social worker are right–nothing for me to do at home. I even told the SW, all the resources are here at H (like shadowing someone, research, some type of program, funding, etc)!!! I could maybe get a position, probably volunteer, somewhere in NYC or in another (kind of far) city from my home (but I’d have no transportation). And I don’t have the knowledge/skills to do anything useful that will really help me see what I want/don’t want to do and what I like/don’t like). I have another appointment with the social worker this week and then 2 appts next week with a psychiatrist and a regular dr (social worker was really nice. laughed/made jokes only when appropriate, asked all the right questions). She even explicitly said she wasn’t saying “take pills” or “don’t take pills” or “you are/are not depressed”. She wants to figure out what is going on from all angles. I always said that when I turned 18 I would seek my own help for some sort of depression counseling. If I/drs thought it appropriate to start medication, I’m sure it would show up on the family insurance plan. So I guess I would have to buy school’s insurance if I did not want my mom to find out. I don’t like keeping things from her but it has been so long and I don’t want to be stopped when I have the ability to seek help without permission.</p>
<p>Hi everybody – not sure what prompted me to check this thread tonight, but I’m glad to see it burbling along.</p>
<p>CPU, I echo your other parents here, and 100% support your decision to seek help. All I can say is: HANG IN THERE. This moment will pass and you WILL find your way.</p>
<p>Everything’s fine with me and mine, though I do feel a bit empty nest adrift…like shot out of a cannon into a void. I’ve started going to Zumba a couple times a week and volunteered for a town government committee (a first). I’m not unhappy, just feeling like I haven’t found traction yet with the new world order.</p>
<p>D continues to thrive at UVM. Our weekly Skype sessions are the highlight of my week and both H and I feel like we’re living vicariously through her adventures. I say we need something else to bring us joy and he says, “Hey, that school costs $50,000 a year, so we should enjoy it, too.”</p>
<p>Just learned tonight that S on a whim auditioned for a male a Capella group and got called back 2 days later and then made it. He said he saw a poster advertising auditions that started in 20 minutes, so dropped by to check it out, because he had time and knew the group. This is the group you see when you visit for accepted student days … Nice red blazers and khakis and all.</p>
<p>I want this boy’s bravery … He plays bass in a band, so does like music, but generally doesn’t sing publicly; He does have a nice voice when I’ve heard him sing as he’s driving. </p>
<p>I hope he doesn’t surprise me with news next week that he joined the varsity downhill ski team!</p>
<p>Congrats SnowFlake on your son’s a cappella group acceptance. My DD has already gone to practices and seems to be enjoying it. There are many national and international competitions that her group participates in so maybe she will cross paths with your son…who knows?</p>
<p>Very cool news SnowflakeVT! What a great kid . . . 20 minutes notice. That’s brave.</p>
<p>Congrats to Snowflake’s S on the a cappella group!!</p>